Monster commute from hell

Four hours, folks. It took me FOUR HOURS to drive from Hillsboro to Portland in last night's freak snowstorm. Combine the fact that no one here knows how to function in snow with the very real threat of ice-slicked roads and you get one horrific commute.

I'd say that it felt as if I was in NY again, but have never experienced anything like this. Not in New York, not in Minnesota, not in Chicago. And certainly not here: Cars abandoned by the side of the road, drivers spinning out of control on the highway while crawling at a snail's pace. One huge parking lot for miles and miles and miles.

The only consolation when I got home was Drew's news about Rachel. Last night, she stuffed her socks INTO her shoes before picking them up and carrying them to the shoe drawer and dropping them in. Way to go, Little Girl!

I'm now headed out to dish and see a movie with two close friends -- a real girl's night out. Thanks, Drew!

Where did she come from?

This is what Rachel did last night: As we were getting ready to play in the living room before dinner, I took off her shoes and socks. I put the socks in her shoes. Then she took the shoes from me, walked out of the living room, through the dining room and hallway and to her bedroom.

I turned on the light and she walked into her room, straight to the drawer under her crib where we keep her shoes, opened it, dropped her shoes in and closed the drawer. Then she matter-of-factly turned around and began walking out of the room.

I applauded her wildly. What else could I do? How did I get this baby? Where did she come from?

Drew swears she has inherited his "order and method" gene. I believe he is right.

Weekend with Molly

Just got back from a great (if tiring, since the drive is two hours each way) weekend with our friend Molly and her three kids. Her 5-year-old daughter, Camilla, continues to be entranced with Rachel and couldn't give her enough hugs and kisses. At one point she decided she wanted to drag Rachel around in a cardboard box, sort of like a train ride, so she picked her up, deposited her in the box and off they went! I was so taken with Rachel's matter-of-fact attitude that I cracked up.

The big news is that Rachel SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT! Molly graciously let her use 16-month-old Marigold's crib, and I got Molly's bedroom, which means Rachel slept in Camilla's room all by herself. When Rachel woke up at 8:30, this morning, she stood up in the crib and just looked around -- no panic or anything. And then she just wanted to cuddle against me this morning while we listened to a musical rhyme book.

More big news: Rachel added another word to her vocabulary: cra-ca, which means "cracker." She says it over an over again, even when she doesn't want one.

One slightly bothersome thing: It seems that Rachel can no longer spend two hours in a car seat without whining. So, that may mean that trips to Eugene will take slightly longer because I'll have to pull over and find something to amuse her with.

I deposited her at daycare just as her friends were down for their naps. She started sobbing when Teacher Karen took her in her arms, and I bet Karen was cursing my slacker mommy-ness. I hope Rachel's crying didn't wake the other kids and I hope they don't kick us out of daycare.

How does she figure this stuff out?

Drew was holding Rachel in his arms last night while he was heating up dinner and waiting for me to come home from work (yes, he is now capable of holding a child in one arm while stirring up beef stew with the other). He got out a small pot and told Rachel it was for the egg they were going to have this morning. (They share a hard-boiled egg on weekends; I can't stand eggs so it's their routine, not mine).

Rachel whined to be let down. He placed her on the kitchen floor and she pointed at the refrigerator. He opened it and she went right for the bottom shelf where we keep the eggs. She lifted a foil-wrapped piece of pie off the egg carton, placed it to the side and started pulling the egg carton out.

"Honey, eggs are for breakfast!" Drew said, stunned. "We're eating dinner now."

Rachel apparently was not pleased. Drew said she kicked up quite a fuss.

I have no idea how she figured out where the eggs were. She has never seen Drew or I take them out of the refrigerator, let alone boil them in the pot.

There must be a secret classroom in daycare where they learn all this stuff, just to mess with their parents' heads.

Christmas Eve

We had a quiet day today. I took off work because daycare was closed, so I arranged a playdate in the morning with a Jewish mom named Carly. She's a member of Portlandjmamas, a listserv I'm on. She has two kids, 28-month-old Lucy and 14-month-old Jimmy, and another boy on the way. Carly is 29, lives in a huge house in a beautiful part of Portland (the Eastmoreland neighborhood) and her husband runs...a skateboard shop. He's a Buddhist. She's a stay-at-home mom. No, I have no idea where their money comes from.

We talked for over an hour and I would have stayed longer except I got worried we would miss Rachel's nap window. But Carly is really nice and the kids played well together (well, at least played parallel to each other) and we had a lovely time. Toward the end of the visit, as I mentioned we had better get going, Rachel -- unbidden -- began putting the toys back in the cart where Carly had gotten them. I was so impressed!

Later, when she went down for a nap (after a really whiny lunch), I went down for a nap myself -- and slept two hours! I guess I haven't yet caught on the sleep I missed when she was sick. Drew, who was working today, finally brought her to the basement guest room where I had sacked out. We went back upstairs and Rachel and I played in the living room while Drew finished up his day. Rachel pretended to talk on the cell phone and during dinner prep, she was so helpful! She carried the milk jug to the refrigerator and placed it on the shelf (she's a strong little girl!), then threw some old parsley and crumpled-up napkins into the garbage when we asked.

She also put spoons and forks on the table. When I accidentally set out lunch napkins and Drew suggested dinner napkins, Rachel handed me the lunch napkins and took the dinner napkins from my hands and put them on the table, too!

I think she understands a lot more than we think.

Sick baby

I was set to leave early today because I had to cover closing arguments for a trial in Hillsboro, which is an hour away. So I got up, showered, put makeup on, dressed up in a skirt and boots, got the diaper bag and my to-go breakfast ready....only to decide, after Rachel woke up crying at 7:15, that she really shouldn't go to daycare. She looked miserable and she had a temperaute of 100 degrees or so, so that confirmed it.

She woke up at 3 a.m. and 6 a.m. and I really hadn't gotten much sleep so...I just changed into my cruddy mommy clothes (good because my zip-up maternity jacket ended up getting Rachel snot all over it) and fed her breakfast. Of course, even though I was off I had to make calls to set up a Christmas Day story, let my editor know I wasn't coming in, re-jigger everything today to do tomorrow...all without Drew who was in Seattle. Bottom line: Some of you will get your holiday cards late. Now you know why.

We ended up spending much of the morning snuggling together on the couch because I was too tired to play with her, and at one point we both fell asleep with her cuddled in my arms for a half-hour! She took an hourlong nap which gave me just enough time to finish all the work-related stuff I needed to do. By 3 her temperature had gone down and I was stir-crazy, so we ended up at a great coffee shop called Urban Grind with not one but TWO playrooms. The playrooms were badly lit and kind of dingy, but lots of Legos for Rachel to play with and the hot chocolate was really good. Afterward I drove around a bit, looking at Christmas lights while Rachel napped on and off in the car seat. We got back home at 6:20, the time we usually return on a normal Tuesday, and the night proceeded much as normal. She even ate half a Gardenburger, some jarred vegetables and some apple slices.

She still has an awful cough -- it sounds like that of a tubercular patient -- and lots of mucus but seems to be perking up a bit (although she was definitely ready for bed when I put her down at her normal time of 8:30).

I hope this means she is on the mend. At least Drew will be home tonight although he has to work yet another $#@! weekend shift on Sunday. I am really, really tired of him being gone so often but that is the price we pay for his great job and the flexibility it gives him.

Cough cough cough

...actually, I should title this "Bad Mommy #897." I spent today, my day off, trying to put together a Christmas Day story for the newspaper since I am working that day and need to come up with something live to write about. Then I went to lunch with my friend Amy and her son Tony. Then home again, a short nap, and on to the hair salon to get my shaggy, out-of-shape hair cut short enough so I don't have to go back for three months.

Sometime during all of that, I got a call from daycare, then a second call, then a call from Drew wondering where the hell I was. Turns out that Rachel had a temperature of 102 degrees and was really lethargic. I called daycare, apologized profusely and raced downtown. When I saw her I could tell immediately she was sick -- she barely noticed I was there and then plopped down in my lap just wanting to cuddle. Usually she stays there for about a minute and then it's on to something else.

I was practially crying when I started talking to the daycare attendants. They said Rachel was fine in the morning and then in the afternoon seemed listless, which is how they figured out to take her temperatue. Her poor little head and cheeks were so hot that I got scared and asked them over and over again if I should take her to the hospital. No, they said, just give her some baby Tylenol before she goes to sleep.

When I took her home she perked up a bit and even ate some applesauce, shells and jarred food. She tried to bring her diaper bag over to me and when I told her it was too heavy, she started crying. I took her into my lap and began cuddling her, then continued on the couch. Worried that she'd fall asleep, I drew a lukewarm bath and she almost dropped off wrapped up in her towel in my arms. I quickly changed her into a light sleepsuit and she fell asleep as I was singing her lullabies. (I sang an extra song and read her an extra book because I felt so bad that I had missed all the calls to pick her up. How could I? What is WRONG with me?).

I have a trial to cover tomorrow that starts at 9 a.m., meaning she needs to get to daycare at 8 a.m. This morning she slept until 10 a.m., which should have warned me that something was off. But she seemed her usual cheerful self.

I hope this is nothing serious. But I can't help worrying, especially because Drew is in Seattle and I am on my own tonight and tomorrow night.

The Wisdom of Molly

Our friend Molly always sends out THE best Christmas letters. They're usually composed of entries from her blog. A few years ago her letter started with, "It is said that we don't remember days, we remember moments." So here is a moment I will always remember:

Drew building a fire for me before taking Rachel to the library to check out some books. Me sitting next to the fire and listening to "The Nutcracker" and "A Charlie Brown Christmas" while filling out holiday cards.

Then, Drew & Rachel returning and Rachel sitting nearby playing while Drew ran out to get some last-minute stuff for dinner. Then Rachel decided she wanted to sit on my lap, so....I held her on my left knee with my left arm wrapped around her tummy while I gave her a sticker to play with and I finished writing out a few cards with my right hand.

The fire was slowly dying but the living room was filled with light. I remembered how much I wanted a fireplace when I was growing up in an apartment in Hackensack, NJ. Now I have one and it is so cozy to sit next to a bright fire on a rainy night with a sweet little girl at my feet.

Breakthrough #467

No more lifting Rachel into the car seat. She toddles to the car, tries to climb in (and gets frustrated because she can't quite do it). Then I give her a little boost, she climbs into the car seat, settles herself in and waits to be buckled up.

"She's growing up too fast," I told Drew yesterday morning.

"She will get bigger, you know," he answered.

"Well, I'd like her to do a couple more things on her own -- go to the bathroom and feed herself," I said. "And then I just want her to stay where she is."

Those of you who remember how insane I was in her first few weeks of life -- insane enough to believe that she would never, ever get bigger -- know how astonishing this conversation is.

And yes, I would like another baby. But we would stop at two. I think.

Last night of Hanukkah

Our friend Constance came over last night, bearing a lovely gift for Rachel -- a book with music accompaniment -- and some chocolates for me. Since I had the day off, I spent much of it cooking beef stew, brownies and a cake for a party we're going to tonight right after I get off work. I was pooped by the time I lit all eight candles!

Constance, who spent a lot of time with Rachel when she was a baby, was very impressed with how grown-up she is. She watched, astonished, as I gave Rachel some silverware and she placed it on the table. Then I gave her some napkins. She accidentally dropped them on the floor and wouldn't pick them up until I had asked her a couple of times (I thought of giving up, but thought better of it and kept saying, "could you please pick up the napkins, Rachel?" And, eventually, she did!). Constance said she has never seen a child so young be so helpful.

Later, as I was putting her to bed, Rachel picked up her shoes that I had left next to her changing table. "Can you please put them in your drawer?" I said. She toddled over to the shoe drawer underneath her crib, dropped the shoes in, and closed the drawer.

I really hope this helpfulness sticks.

Appreciative audience

The other night, when Drew was singing Rachel to sleep, she looked up sleepily after he finished each song, clapped one or two times, then snuggled back into his chest for another song.

I can't think of anything more adorable. I wish I'd seen it!

Screech, screech, screech....

Rachel can only have picked up the screeching from daycare. It is incredibly annoying and almost ruined our dinner last night. Drew finally slammed his hand down on the high chair tray and said, "STOP IT." Whereupon she immediately began crying. And continued when he had to leave the dinner table twice to clear out his throat.

Her behavior continued when she screamed during her bath and screamed when Drew tried to brush her teeth. I can never do it because she clamps her jaw shut and it's impossible for me to open it, so I just give up. I think the solution, much as I hate it, is to trick her so that when she opens her mouth I can stick the brush inside and at least wipe a little bit before she starts sobbing.

I'm hoping tonight is better than last.

Child labor

Rachel was astonishingly helpful today. Some things she did:

--When I took her downstairs to take laundry out of the dryer and fold it, a pair of underwear fell on the ground. "Can you please pick that up, Rachel?" I asked. She did, and TOOK IT TO THE LAUNDRY BASKET AND PUT IT INSIDE. Not wanting to let go of a good thing, I gave her a couple of pairs of socks and she toddled over to the laundry basket and dropped them in.

--When I told Drew this, he was impressed. I told him I might try to give her silverware and have her set the table. He poo-poohed that idea. But while he was out shopping and I was getting the table ready for our Hanukkah dinner, I decided I wanted to see what Rachel would do if I gave her silverware. She was hanging out by the kitchen table when I handed her some spoons and asked her to please put them on the table. She did! Same with forks, napkins and even knives (although I think I'll save the knives for when she's a bit older). I was so gratified, I kept saying thank you! thank you! THANK YOU for being so helpful tonight!

--Drew gave her an apple and she didn't seem to want the skin. So she toddled to the wastebasket and tried to open it herself. Drew needed to help her do so, but as soon as it was open, she threw it inside.

I am beginning to thinnk we may be able to bring in some extra income by hiring her out as a mother's helper...

Hanukkah, family-style

We had a lovely family celebration tonight. I actually managed to coordinate the baked chicken AND the latkes so that they both were done more or less at the same time. So we were able to eat a hot dinner. Yay!

As soon as I lit the candles tonight, Rachel immediately covered her eyes as if to say her own blessing. I was so touched!

Then we opened presents, although as usual, Rachel seemed more interested in the wrapping paper.

17 months!

Geez, I'm almost losing track of her "birthdays" each month. Hard to believe, since when she was but weeks old, the time seemed to drag. I'd get to the end of each week and sigh, "well, she's that much older" and hope that things would get better.

And they did!

Rachel is:

--no longer a baby! She is walking walking walking everywhere.

--saying "hi" in a bright, sweet voice. Tonight she said, "hi!" over the phone to me!

--extremely helpful, picking up crumbs, shrugging out of her sweaters and jackets when we take them off, handing us stuff when we ask for it. We hope this generous trait sticks!

--adjusting quite well to the new Toddler 1 room at daycare. We are told this is the hardest transition she'll make, and we feel we got lucky. She's an old pro now at playing in the dollhouse, going down the slide, listening to songs...

--very appreciative of music. She recently clapped when Rhonda, one of the teachers, sang songs. And sometimes she claps after Drew or I finish singing her lullabies.

--developing a sense of rhythm. She moves almost in time to music, whether it be hymns in Hebrew, Old MacDonald, or bebop.

--regularly feeding herself out of the jar of baby food and, in contrast to last month, getting most of the vegetables/applesauce/fruits on the front of the spoon, instead of the back, and putting it in her mouth!

--sitting in a booster seat; she's done so for the past month. And on Friday night, when we forgot the booster seat at the Hanukkah service, she did quite well just on a folding chair.

--very meticulous at mealtime. When she's finished with her food or her bottle or her sippy cup, she carefully places them on the table rather than the tray of her high chair. Then, when she wants to partake of them, she reaches out and puts them back when she's finished.

--still afraid of or uncomfortable with the toothbrush, meaning that I can rarely get it inside her mouth. I really don't know what to do other than give her her fluoride drops every night and hope she doesn't develop baby cavities.

--very resistant to the changing table; she thrashes and cries most of the time we lay her on it. Don't know if she does this at daycare. Maybe she's trying to let us know that she wants us to change her while she stands up?

--"reading" books to herself. Today she took them out of the bookcase and tried to re-shelve them!

--getting long hair (at least in the back) but it's still thin. Her hands and feet are big, but her face is still little and delicate. I think she may be developing a snub nose rather than an aristocratic, aquiline one.

--very curious, still asking her trademark "wash shat?" when something unusual enters her field of vision, such as a big bus.

--able to climb onto a wooden coffee table we have upstairs. She did the climbing mostly with her arms, which led Drew to admire her strenght.

--loving her mega Lego blocks and stacking boxes, which she loves to work with.

--a little person who is more and more fun to be around!

Perfectionist?

While Drew was walking Rachel around the synagogue during last night's service, he tried to help her up the stairs and the ramp at the side entrance. She shook off his hand as if to say, "Daddy, I need to figure it out MYSELF."

More and more it seems that she takes her time to do things until she can do them really well. Could she be a budding perfectionist, like her mommy?

Hanukkah service

We had a lovely time at synagogue last night, even if I DID end up with a $150 parking ticket for parking in front of a fire hydrant because there were no parking spaces outside of daycare even though I left in plenty of time but there was traffic and it was almost 6 and so...I ended up with a ticket.

But I digress.

Rachel looked adorable in her party outfit, the same one she wore at Thanksgiving. We sat next to a woman and her two kids, one of whom is 7 and one who is younger. The woman, Sarah, was very nice and I was sort of able to have a conversation with her while feeding Rachel sweet potatoes out of a jar (although she did very well on her own, eating half the jar herself)!

Rachel didn't even have a booster seat! She sat in a folding chair, drinking her water from a sippy cup and putting it carefully on the table in front of her. Drew handled most of dinner while I got latkes, beef and chicken; then I got another plate of food for him and fed Rachel while he ate. The Little Girl was really well-behaved.

The service was fantastic -- Cantor Ida Rae Cahana, the rabbi's wife who substituted for the usual cantor, walked down the center aisle of the darkened candle and singing a Hanukkah hymn. Rachel was fascinated by the proceedings and just stood and watched. Then she even sat in a cushioned pew for a while until she got restless and Drew walked her around. The rabbi told a great story about a man who conquered some Hanukkah goblins who had invaded a village and prevented the villagers from celebrating the holiday. Drew thought it was the most interesting Hanukkah story he had ever heard. It was written by a local author and we will try to get the book for next year, when Rachel will be old enough to understand.

While I was getting food for Drew, Sarah asked if she could give Drew some parenting advice. Sure, he said.

"Discipline your kids early," she said. "I didn't, and now it's really hard."

I also read in Parenting magazine that one of the secret of happy families is to express gratitude a lot. In our house, Drew and I tend to thank each other a lot for little things: Making the bed, doing the shopping, cleaning up Rachel's toys, putting her down for the night. We thank each other in front of her, and we thank her when she is helpful -- handing us the food she doesn't want to eat, wiggling out of her coat when we get home, handing us her shoes to put on her feet. We hope this sticks.

And when she does something we don't like, we're sure to tell her. She can tell by the tone of our voices when we're displeased and she screws up her face and cries - whereupon we repeat the lesson, then give her a quick cuddle to reassure her we still love her. Then it's on to being sunny again.

Happy Hanukkah!

...Rachel decided to surprise us yesterday with an early Hanukkah gift. I had come home late after exercising, and Drew was reading her some books. "Let's go say hi to mama!" I heard him say.

Obama's Nobel speech was playing loudly on the radio, and I thought Drew was referring to something in the speech when he exclaimed, all of a sudden, "Did you HEAR that?"

Then he brought her in to the living room, snuggled up in his arms. She looked at me, gave a shy smile and said softly, "HI!"

"HI?" "HI!"

"Uh, hi, honey," I said weakly.

"It's all downhill tonight from here," I told Drew.

Helpful Rachel, Part III

Drew spilled something on the kitchen floor last night while I was out shopping for Hanukkah gifts (Tia Daniella, Jojo & Valerie: Yours will arrive next week. Promise!). He said that while he was cleaning up, Rachel reached down, picked up a crumb and handed it to him, as if she was trying to help out! He thanked her profusely.

I read a story in the Science section of the NY Times a couple of weeks ago that said kids as young as 18 months old will help a grownup they think is in distress or need assistance. Apparently, kids may be born with an "empathy gene"! Isn't that great? I hope that, with Rachel, it never gets squashed by the selfishness gene.

She seems to have developed a cadre of boyfriends at daycare. A few weeks ago, she tried to hold the hand of Declan. A few days ago, her daily report said she enjoyed spending time in the playhouse "with Ryan at her side."

Drew was none too happy. "She can date when I'm dead," he says.

Pobrecita...

Rachel woke up in the middle of the night -- 12:45 a.m., to be exact -- after a bout of coughing. Drew heard her; I was in a dead sleep after taking NyQuil to finally zap this cold and laryngitis thing I've picked up.

Drew opened the bedroom door and said, "Uh, Lisa? We have a problem. Rachel threw up all over her mattress."

I was out of bed in a shot. I lifted up her fitted sheet, threw it in the hamper and wiped the mattress with a sponge (not much had soaked through, although I was so zonked out on the medicine that I couldn't really tell). Drew, meanwhile, had drawn a warm bath for Rachel and sponged the vomit off her face.

"Her mattress still smells," I told Drew. "What should I spray it with?"
"Lysol," he suggested.

So, I did, and then held her while he put the bed back together. She was very quiet, wrapped in her sunflower towel, while I gently rocked her. Then Drew told me to get back to bed while he put her down.

She ended up sleeping until 10 a.m.! I'm glad Drew didn't wake her up. At daycare, Teacher Karen said there's a 24-hour bug going around. For some reason it has affected mostly boys, who were out today, leaving the toddler girls to rule.

Apples & Cha

"Cha" is Rachel's name for "challah." Our conversation tonight went something like this:

Me: Sweetie, do you want some challah?
Rachel: Chaaaa.....
Me: Can you say challah? Challah?
Rachel: Cha!

Later, when fed her some apple slices, I said, "Rachel, this is an APPLE. Can you say APPLE?"
Rachel (softly): Ap-pel.
Me: Did you say apple?
Rachel: App-fttt.
Me: AP-PLE.
Rachel: App-ffttt.

We're getting there, folks!

Brrr.....

Yes, it is absolutely freezing here. The hat you see in this picture stayed on for, oh, about as long as it took me to shoot Rachel in it. (she is a total ham in front of the camera!). Then she snatched it off and tossed it to the floor. Not that I minded -- it's too small for her anyway!

I had to reprimand her tonight for throwing her Legos to the floor, since she was standing up when she did so and one of them hit me. "Rachel," I said sternly. She looked away. "Rachel!" I said. "You hurt Mommy." Then I turned her around. "Rachel, look at me. You hurt Mommy. You can't throw blocks when you're near people."

She burst into tears. I took her in my lap and cuddled her, all the while saying, "You can't throw blocks when people are around, sweetie."

Drew later asked if I thought she cried because I had scolded her or because she was truly sorry she clonked me. The former, I replied.

Hey, all you moms out there: Did I handle that OK?

More milestones

They're little, but significant. A sampling, just from today:

--She took off her zippered hoodie. Yes, it was unzipped, but the fact that she managed to shrug her way out of it was, to me, amazing.

--At lunch, after I fed her a cheese stick, she reached for the wrapping. Then she tried to open the garbage can; her booster seat is about level with it. When I opened it for her, she dropped the wrapping inside.

--She built a very high tower out of her Lego blocks.

--I was looking all over for my glasses -- scrabbling under the cushions of the leather couch, peering under the pillows, on the floor, starting to grumble about how was I supposed to find my glasses if I couldn't see anything? -- and said absent-mindedly, "Rachel, have you seen my glasses?" She reached over to the end table and handed them to me. "Uh, thank you honey," I said, astonished.

--Rachel likes to mess around with my cell phone a lot, and has somehow discovered how to get on the Internet and find the way to entering contact information for frequently-called numbers. She found the key to entering contact information; I entered Drew's numbers, then asked her if she could pull up the same list again so I could enter a friend's number. On the second try, she did.

--She grabbed at my sport watch; I took it off and she threw it on the floor. "Rachel, don't throw Mommy's watch," I said. "Please give my watch back to me." She scrunched over a bit, retrieved it, and handed it back.

Bad Mommy, Part II

Drew left for Seattle this morning to work a *$!# weekend shift. Can you tell how much I hate the fact that he, an experienced business reporter who lives 300-plus miles away from his newspaper, has to drive up there every six weeks to work a Sunday cops shift? He has tried and tried to get out of it, to no avail.

Anyway, he left just as our friend Laura and her two girls, 3-year-old Carly and 6-month-old Ren, came to visit. Rachel seemed intimidated by Carly, who had no problem snatching Rachel's toys and giving them to her sister. Rachel was a bit put off when Ren started "playing" (more like trying to grasp) her toys. Soon enough, though, it was time for Rachel's nap. And Laura and the kids left soon after.

It was/is bitterly cold here, and after Rachel woke up and had lunch, I just couldn't summon the energy to take her anywhere -- a walk, the museum, even the mall to to some holiday shopping. So we ended up playing in the living room most of the day until I got really tired at 5 and lay down on the couch and closed my eyes. If Drew had been here, no problem -- he would have taken Rachel upstairs, or I would have gone down to the basement, to sleep. Instead, I had to contend with Rachel who obediently lay down on my chest to cuddle but then wanted to get up and PLAY. I finally just closed my eyes and ignored her -- even after she brought pine cones over to me and tried to make me EAT one. (I'm not kidding, there is sap all over my neck tonight). I finally sat up around 6:15, I read the paper and she played somewhat quietly at my feet, then I went into the kitchen to make dinner.

Why am I a bad mommy? Because I should have thought up interesting games for us to play this afternoon, instead of drinking cup after cup of tea to stave off laryngitis (it's true, my voice is almost gone) and trying to sleep. And somehow I forgot to give her her four bottles of milk (she only got three; two at dinner). Hey, at least I remembered lunch AND snack.

So now I am getting ready for bed, thankful that I am a working mom because I think I'd be a complete failure at staying home with her all day. I don't have anywhere near the imagination to deal with a toddler.

I read!

That's what Rachel said this morning while Drew was showering downstairs. She and I were in the kitchen; she was sitting on top of the table, took a book from the basket of toys and books we keep to amuse her while we're eating dinner (since lots of times she eats beforehand) and, while leafing through "The Very Hungry Caterpillar," she said, "I read."

I READ!!

OK, it was a little garbled, but still.

I READ!!

She made little comments as she was flipping through the book.

I READ!!

If it's true, it's....it's....well, let's just echo what Drew said: "You are an AMAZING baby!"

(Except, as you can see from this picture, we can't really call her a baby anymore. She's a toddler who likes to throw balls.)

She's a KID!!

Toothbrush terror abated?

Drew put Rachel down for the night on Wednesday and Thursday. Both days, he actually was able to brush her teeth! He put the toothbrush on her cheek and brushed her lips with the bristles. She resisted at first but then was OK with having the toothbrush in her mouth.

Drew couldn't brush vigorously, but it was enough to give her front and bath teeth a quick going-over. Yay! No baby cavities!

I'm not totally surprised; she has asked, "wash shat?" and pointed to the toothbrush, then pointed to the bristles. She has even picked it up.

Drew reminded me that Rachel also used to cry and scream when we have her fluoride drops, which she will taking in liquid or pill form until she is 13 because this stupid city won't fluoridate its water (don't ask). Now she matter-of-factly opens her mouth and swallows the odorless, tasteless drops. No big deal.

Rachel's other life

..I think she's leading an entirely separate existence at daycare. Why? Yesterday her daycare report said she "had so much fun playing with the dolls and dishes."

I got very excited, thinking she is FINALLY ready to play with the basket of stuffed animals and cuddly dolls we've been given (including some lovely little dolls in the shape of mice that my friend Jeannette sent her from Japan).

Well, I brought the basket out last night when we got home...and Rachel showed NO INTEREST, actually pushing the animals away. Then she returned to stacking blocks.

One nice thing they did say at daycare: Yet another attendant told me that she has never seen Rachel cry. And except for getting defensive when another child snatches a toy from her, she's pretty even-tempered. She never goes on the attack.

Mommy's hair

..apparently is fascinating. The last two nights, Rachel has looked up at me as I rock her and sing her to sleep, then reached out to touch my hair. Then she looks at me intently and snuggles back into my chest. I think she wonders why my hair is different from hers, which is light brown and so sparse! (we're assuming it will grow in thick and lush like Drew's).

Yes, it's the best part of the day: Holding a cuddly baby against my body.

A restless night

..for me, anyway: Rachel woke up crying at 3:30 a.m. Just as I was about to go in and soothe her, she got herself back to sleep. Yay for her but not for me: I ended up being awake until 4:30 a.m., when the applesauce and trips to the bathroom finally took hold and I fell asleep.

I woke up at 8 a.m.! And Rachel didn't wake up until 9!

She did, however, have quite the conversation with herself on the way to daycare. When we got there and I was preparing to feed her some yogurt, she pounded on the table (she does this on her high chair tray as if to say, "Yo, Mom! I'm HUNGRY!"). She finished about a third of it before I walked her into the Do Room, which has lots of mats and slides to play on. The other kids, especially a cute little girl named Sloane, seemed so happy to see her but she hesitated before going in. Then Teacher Karen took her hand and led her inside, and (hopefully) all is well!

Piffanny

This is the photo that 5-year-old Piffanny took today



We took Rachel to the park today after a very rough morning -- she absolutely would not stop whining or crying, even when I took her down to the basement as I re-made the bed in the guest room with clean sheets. Drew was stripping turkey meat from the bones, the last step in the process of making turkey soup. When I brought her upstairs he snapped, "what is WRONG with her today?" I announced that I was going to take her for a walk, but before that I put her in her crib for a baby timeout while I went to the bathroom. And wonder of wonders, she fell asleep! It was around her naptime, so it made sense.

Then Drew went grocery shopping and I mopped the kitchen floor, which I had had been dying to get to. So now our house is really more or less back to normal. I also managed to read the paper a bit before Drew got back and Rachel woke up for lunch.

We raced to Laurelhurst Park, a lovely park within driving distance in southeast Portland, to take advantage of the sunny fall day. That's where I met a little girl named Piffany (at least that's what she said her name was). Rachel reached out to touch her face and she recoiled, which made me wonder if something bad had happened to her at home, or something. But somehow we ended up playing together, and she ended up taking a bunch of pictures of me with my camera. She said she was 5, but she looked more like 9. Drew said later he thought she seemed a bit developmentally delayed -- when I asked her whether she was in kindergarten, she said it wasn't time yet, or she wasn't ready. I couldn't remember.

We played a game of driving and groceries (she turned a wheel on the play structure and insisted that I carry some pretend groceries from the pretend grocery store to the car) and her mom thanked me for playing with her. Later, when she was on the see-saw with her mom and dad, I thanked her for taking such good pictures of me. (Really, they were great pictures and I have so few of me, they're all of Drew and Rachel because Drew's photography skills are next to zero). She said the next time she saw me at the park, she wanted to play hide-and-seek. I said I was looking forward to it.

It was kind of poignant. I have never thought of myself as a particularly child-friendly person; in fact, for a long time, babies were afraid of me. But maybe now that I'm a mom, kids sense that I'm ok. Kind of like Rachel was comfortable with Daniella and Molly -- she knows they're mommies and, therefore, they probablly know what they're doing.

That word...

First use of the word "vagina" yesterday: Rachel pointed down there and asked, "what's that?"
"It's your vagina, sweetie," I answered.

Fortunately she didn't point at it multiple times. I'm hoping that will be enough until she is, oh, 3 or so. Am I being unrealistic?

She also held the cell phone to her ear yesterday when Drew was feeding her lunch. He thought he heard a very garbled, "Hello," followed by, "s daddy." As in, "It's Daddy!"

Kids these days...much more technologically advanced than their parents....

Thanksgiving, Parts II and III

So, yesterday after Molly left far too early (sniff!), Amanda, Jenn, David & Anne decided they wanted to head to Mt. Tabor for a long, hard hike. I would have loved to join them but we needed to put Rachel down for a nap and...she napped for 2 1/2 hours! Then I decided I needed to take a nap and staggered upstairs to the attic, lay down on the futon and napped for TWO HOURS! I never fall asleep in the middle of the day! Could be the exhaustion from the planning and cleaning up after dinner on Thursday that did it.

Amanda & Jenn were kind enough to take Rachel for a walk while Drew & I cleaned up from breakfast yesterday. We feel it is worth noting that a) she wore her hat for THEM, but she never wears it for US; b) when she saw Drew backing Molly's car down our driveway, she stood stock-still, perhaps sensing that it wasn't safe to walk; and c) after a quick walk around the block, she turned right into our driveway as if she absolutely knew where she was going. Could it be that all those walks we took this summer with her in the stroller and me eating gelato have sunk into her memory somehow?

Then Drew & I took Rachel to Laurelhurst Park and I ran into a mom I had met in mom's class named Naomi. Her daughter, Isabella, is chunkier than Rachel but is more confident in her walking. She had an adorable set of rain boots on, which her mom got at Fred Meyer. That's good to know because Rachel can finally fit into the pink raincoat that Grammy and Grandpa got her when we saw them in California! She needs a spiffy set of rain boots to match...

When we got back, we ordered sushi. Drew & David went out to get it while Rachel and I hung out on the couch together and looked at the fire that Drew had built. After a while I fell asleep, and before I knew it, Rachel lay down on my chest and fell asleep, too! It was so cute! David took pictures.

We all watched "Slumdog Millionaire" last night after Rachel went to sleep. This morning, we slept in even later -- until 9:30! When Drew peeked in to Rachel's room, she was sitting in her crib playing quietly with her stuffed dolls and animals. David begged to feed her, and she ate all of the hard-boiled egg he gave her. She also loved looking at the pictures of herself that David showed her through the camera's viewer! Drew made pancakes and bacon, which set off the fire alarm (drat our ventless stove!), then everyone started gathering up their stuff to head out.

So now TLG has been asleep for 2 1/2 hours, Drew is out shopping for fixings for turkey & dumpling soup that he will make tonight and we will enjoy tomorrow night, and I have put in the 145th load of laundry and emptied the 523rd load of dishes from the dishwasher. My chorus is performing tonight. If the weather cooperates, we'll probably take Rachel for a walk this afternoon.

Life is good.

Thanksgiving!!

This is a photo of Rachel's 2nd Thanksgiving (the first, she was too young to do much -- although she did turn over for the first time)!

Wow, what a great time we all had! Drew, The Little Girl and I slept in until 8:30. Then it was bustle bustle bustle around -- luckily, as was the case last year, TLG took a huge nap (in fact, last Thanksgiving was the first time that she did, in fact, nap), so I was able to bake a pumpkin chocolate-chip cake and we got our 14-lb turkey in. Then Drew took a shower, I set the table with the china, silver and crystal that we only use on special occasions, and then I just managed to change into my black velvet top, pants and pearls before everyone began arriving.

We sat down at 5 and Rachel was a most exemplary baby -- although as Drew says, I really can't call her that anymore because of how much she has been WALKING the past couple of days -- not fussing or whining at all, just munching on her challah. (Need to give a big shout-out to Molly, who basically took care of Rachel while Drew & I put the finishing touches on the meal. Molly took Rachel into her room and they read books. When they passed me in the hall and Rachel reached out to me, Molly said sternly, "well, you may want your mommy but she's busy now." Too bad Molly is such a fantastic writer, she really could make a living as a pricey doula or a nanny).

We had enough food for everyone plus a few leftovers -- enough to send people home with food but not enough to unduly crowd our refrigerator. After all the wonderful thank-yous from folks (Molly, Kiki, Jean, Anne, David, Amanda, Jenn, Linda, Doug, Andrew, Jack and Drew), the best compliment of the night was from 3-year-old Jack. After finishing a piece of pumpkin chocolate-chip cake he told me, "this is the best cake EVER!"

I think I'll adopt him.

Happy holidays, everyone, and thank you for making me feel so blessed!

Preferences

Rachel is discovering (or, at least, communicating to us) that she prefers one thing over the other. Last night, for instance, I offered her carrots or sweet potatoes and she pointed to the carrots. If I offer her water, or challah, or other food these days, she'll shake her head "no" decisively, or say "dah!" really excitedly.

Last night as I was stroking her back near her butt when I was rocking her to sleep, she gently took my hand and moved it to her stomach. It felt as if she was saying that the stroking bothered her some way and she wanted to let me know. I find that astonishing.

Readin' Rachel!

From Rachel's daycare report yesterday: "Rachel loved sitting on the mats and looking at books all by herself."

Oh, I love my little bluestocking-in-training. Who needs Baby Einstein when you have books?

Breakthrough!

So, Rachel and I were eating dinner alone together after Daniella, Jojo and Valerie left. She finished her Gardenburger and pointed toward the stove. I took two jars of vegetables off the baby food tray and said, "Which one? Carrots or sweet potatoes?" I swear she pointed to the carrots.

So I plunked down the jar and a spoon, preparing to feed her, when she whined a bit and motioned toward the jar and spoon. "OK, you try it yourself," I said.

Well!

SHE TOOK THE SPOON WITH ONE HAND, DIPPED IT IN THE JAR AND BROUGHT UP SOME CARROTS AND PUT THEM IN HER MOUTH!!! I applauded the first two times, but she barely even acknowledged it. She kept dipping and eating, dipping and eating until she was done with half the jar. I was speechless. No, really, I kept telling her, "You are an AMAZING baby!" She collided with her elbow a couple of times (I had rolled up her sleeves as a precautionary measure) but she got most of what was on the spoon into her body.

RACHEL ATE WITH A SPOON!

I was so excited that I called Mom and Dad. They were very impressed.

RACHEL ATE WITH A SPOON!

I guess she doesn't need me to feed her anymore, huh?

RACHEL ATE WITH A SPOON!

What a relief. I thought I would have to spoon-feed her through kindergarten. And no, I'm not kidding.

Fun with Tia Daniella, Jojo & Valerie

Oh, we've been having so much fun with my sister and her family! They got in unexpectedly late last night, so all we had a chance to do was to put the girls down for bed, eat a takeout dinner of Thai food and go to sleep ourselves.

This morning Rachel started crying at 6:45 a.m., but we didn't go in an eventually she stopped. Then a bit later she stood up in her crib and looked around (we could see her from a crack in the door) and we prayed she would get herself back to sleep...and she did! End result was we got to sleep in until 8:30 or so. What a blessing!

Between naps and lunch, we didn't get out until 3 p.m. We went to Grant Park, where Valerie made a little friend, Aria, 3, who swung Valerie on the swing. Rachel, meanwhile, had made TWO little friends -- Amelia, 7, and her 4-year-old sister. They exclaimed, "OH, she's so cute!" and promptly decided to play with her. With Drew supervising, Amelia even took Rachel in her lap and slid down the steep slide with her -- the steep slide that moments before, Rachel had pitched head-forward on. It was adorable to see!

Then we got home and I started a roast chicken dinner while Rachel napped in her stroller. Daniella and Darryl got Valerie down quite early at 7, after feeding her a homemade dinner of cooked yams and spinach mashed together. Despite repated offers, Rachel declined to sample either. She stuck to her normal dinner of Gardenburger, pasta shells, and challah.

One great thing about having Daniella here is I get witnesses to Rachel's slowly emerging language skills. Today after I hung up the phone with Drew while he was out shopping, both Daniella and I swear we heard Rachel say, "where's Daddy?" And then when I told her the bread she was eating was called challah, she said, "Cha!"

After dinner we sat around eating cupcakes from Saint Cupcake, one of our favorite dessert places, and laughing. Tomorrow Drew leaves for Seattle, I take Rachel to daycare and I will spend the morning hanging out with everyone. We'll go to brunch before heading to the airport. Too bad the visit is so short but we will see them again in April for Passover.

Toddler 2s

..Rachel will probably be joining the Toddler 2s in a couple of months, and the early reports there are that the kids are so friendly! After Drew dropped Rachel off at Toddler 1s one day last week, the Toddler 2s gathered around him, as all of them were in the same activity room. One little boy came up to Drew and handed him a truck!

"I'm glad that the kids here are so well-socialized!" he told Teacher Karen.

Rachel seems to be making the adjustment to Toddler 1s pretty well. She has fallen right into the nap schedule of 11:30 a.m. or so to 2 p.m. We are holding our breaths that she won't get sick, although one of the daycare attendants did write on her report that she was digging in her left ear yesterday. Hope it's not an infection. We are watching her carefully this weekend.

Last night when I picked her up, Liz, one of the daycare ladies on the afternoon shift, said Rachel had a great day. "I've never seen her cry," Liz said. "And she likes crawling into my lap. She's very cuddly!"

Well, yes.

Walking' baby!

Rachel got herself up off the kitchen floor last night after dinner and WALKED through the dining room to the living room! Apparently the only thing that stopped her was the pile of Legos on the living-room rug that she had dumped out earlier that night.

We had a lovely dinner of cornish game hens, couscous and salad. I had the day off so I had plenty of time to prepare dinner and we got to eat at a decent hour. Then I raced out to buy ingredients for two quick breads (one, orange bread, for a guy who bid $20 for four quick breads I offered at the St. James auction, and the second, chocolate-chip banana bread, for Drew who kept throwing off hints that, well we have two overripe bananas, Lisa, and they'd be perfect for banana bread). By the time I got back, Drew was already putting Rachel down for the night, so I cleaned up the kitchen, made the bread and had just enough time to read a story in New York magazine before writing in my journal and heading to bed.

As I was curled up under the sheets, Drew notified me that we can't really call Rachel a baby anymore since she is walking so much. He said he caught himself calling her a baby and stopped himself because it's really not accurate.

"She's a toddler now!" he said, and I grudgingly agreed. Can she really be growing up? Can she?

Rough night

Rachel woke up three times last night -- once at 12:30 a.m., again at 5 and then at 6:30 a.m. Drew took her out of her crib and soothed her the first time; I did the honors the second time, and by the third time we were so tired that Drew said, "I think we should just let her cry it out." We did, and so we all slept in until 8:15! At least we got sleep...

She has been kind of whiny the last few days, maybe she's cutting another tooth. Or one of her tear ducts that is clogged is bothering her. Or...maybe she's just whiny for the sake of being whiny. Sigh.

On the bright side: She apparently has a little boyfriend at daycare named Declan. Her daycare report said she really enjoyed holding his hand and dancing with him yesterday! When Drew picked her up, he said she reached out for Declan. What's the next step? Trading lunches?

Also, the daycare ladies say, she likes tuna fish sandwiches.

Yay! Rachel's here!

...that was the reaction Drew said he got this morning when he dropped Rachel off at daycare: The other kids seemed very excited to see her. They all gathered around Drew as he took her coat off, as if to say, "yay! Rachel's here! Let the games begin!"

Her daycare reports are pretty sunny: "Rachel was quite the chatterbox today. She had a lot to say." "Rachel had fun playing with her friends in the house." "Rachel loved looking at books and listening to songs being sung."

Drew thinks she has a little friend, Ruby. When he left daycare this morning, Rachel was reaching out to touch Ruby's face.

She cries when we leave her in the morning, but when we pick her up at night, she whines a little when we have to go.

Drew also reports that Rachel LOVES walking although she continues to need assistance. When she holds out her arms to us these days, it's not so much that she wants to be held; she just wants to hold hands with us so we can walk her around the house. A friend of ours who has a daughter a little younger than Rachel says her daughter likes to do laps around the house while her mom cooks dinner. She doesn't run, she just walks everywhere!

Rachel also said "hi" last night when he put her in the car seat. He said "hi!" back to her, and she answered "hi" again.

Why I sometimes feel I'm a failure as a mommy

I tried to get Rachel to drink milk from a sippy cup tonight. She took one sip, wrinkled her face in complete and utter disgust, then started crying when I wouldn't take the cup from her and told her firmly, "Rachel, you need to try." Then I tried to force her to drink it, and she screamed and sobbed. I finally gave up, poured the milk into a bottle and she eagerly grabbed it.

Maybe it's the fact that I'm tired from last night, but I was really annoyed at her and angry with myself. When she started drinking from a sippy cup, why oh why didn't we just fill it up with milk and throw away the bottles? She can't drink from a bottle forever. How long is it going to take to wean her away from them? Isn't daycare supposed to be helping with this? Will she be only 4-year-old who walks around with a bottle?

I guess I'm just frustrated because she isn't walking completely yet. Tonight she kept holding up her arms, sometimes when she was sitting on the floor and sometimes when she was standing up and leaning against me. I told her NO -- she needs to walk or crawl on her own. (Preferably walk). She can do it, I've seen her, and then she just stops. I'm tired of people tellking me that I don't want her to walk because then she's harder to keep up with. I DO want her to walk because I want her to hop in and out of the car so I don't have to keep lifting her all the time. For heaven's sake, she's 16 months already!! We stopped in a bookstore tonight to buy a birthday gift for our friend Anna's 3-year-old daughter, Ruth, and I had to drag the car seat in and plant it in the children's section while I browsed. I would have loved to be able to walk into the store with Rachel next to me.

It feels as if she is stuck on 12 months and isn't moving forward.

We love Molly!

..because she has a big house in Eugene and loves it when I come down there with Rachel. I gave Drew a baby-free day yesterday; he got his hair cut, his oil changed, finished installing shelves in the closet, did the grocery shopping -- and even had some time to hang out at Powell's. I headed to Eugene at 10:30, with an unexpected detour in Salem, then got to Molly's at 1:30.

She had a fire going in her "hearth room" where she has installed two couches she bought for a song on e-Bay. We spent most of the day inside talking while Marigold played nearby and Calvin and Camilla ran and yelled outside. Camilla, of course, was delighted to see Rachel. She kept hugging and kissing her and Rachel kept smiling at her and giggling. If only they would stay here for a couple of years, I think Camilla and Rachel would turn out to be really good friends.

Molly graciously called a babysitter to watch the kids after she asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner. The babysitter turned out to be two girls -- sisters, one 15 and one 12. They are certified Red Cross babysitters and have gotten training for watching infants and have watched Marigold since she was born. I felt a little nervous leaving Rachel with them, since we usually have Angela, the sister of Drew's friend Jack, babysit Rachel. Angela is 25 and pretty much raised her little brother (and can deal with crying) so we feel very comfortable.

Rachel cried as I was leaving, but Molly & I headed for the sushi place and talked and laughed -- it was like old times when she and I were single, 20-somethings in Minnesota. I called Lauren in the middle of dinner to suggest she feed Rachel and that the food was in the diaper bag. The conversation went like this:

Me: Is Rachel OK?
Lauren: Sure!
Me: You mean, she hasn't been crying all night?
Lauren: She hasn't been crying at all!
Me: Um, do you mind feeding her? Are you comfortable with that?
Lauren: Sure!
Me: Do you know where the diaper bag is?
Lauren: Sure!
Me: There should be food in there.
Lauren: OK! (subtext: I can't believe how worried this mom is!)

When we got back, Rachel was fast asleep on the couch, a stuffed rabbit near her elbow and a Bobby pillow at her head. She was covered with a soft knit blanket. Lauren said she was absolutely no trouble -- they spent the time on the couch laughing and reading books together.

Unfortunately I left Eugene way too late -- 8:30, with Rachel tucked into a pair of Marigold's pajamas that Molly graciously loaned me. I paid for it; Rachel awoke at 4 a.m. and wouldn't stop crying (screaming, really) after Drew tried to give her water and soothe her. Both he & I were so tense that we never truly got back to sleep. Rachel cried out in her sleep twice at 5 a.m. and 5:30 a.m. Neither of us could sleep in, since Drew had to head to Seattle and I had a 9:15 a.m. breakfast meeting. Rachel, of course, slept until just before 9!

We are crossing our fingers that this is not a repeat of the wake-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night behavior she exhibited at 6-9 months. I've gotten used to getting enough sleep and I do NOT want to revert back to the bad old days.

Dinner with Becky & Edwin

...was really marvelous! We went to Lucca, a lovely little place right down the street. (In a sign I really am getting Mommy Brain, I thought Drew was referring to a place called Lauro, in southeast Portland, as the place we should take them). Lucca was the last place I ate dinner before going to the hospital for an induced labor. We haven't been there since; I've been afraid to take Rachel anywhere that isn't specifically family-friendly (i.e., that has a play area and burgers on the menu).

Well. Our little girl was so well-behaved at dinner! She looked around at everything and even flirted with a waiter who is a foster dad and gave her his finger to grasp. She didn't whine or cry AT ALL. What a super baby!

Of course, it helped that the restaurant, as upscale as it is, welcomed Rachel by handing her a sippy cup of water without me even asking. And there was at least one other baby there, plus a couple that came in while we were ordering. The couple brought their 3-year-old and newborn and looked completely relaxed.

Later, Rachel even let Edwin hold her. By the end of the evening she was snuggling against his chest.

When we got home, we let watched Rachel play on the floor for a bit before I put her down to sleep and Drew drove Becky & Edwin back to their hotel. While we watched Rachel, I suddenly had a vision of Mom and Dad watching me/Daniella/Becky/and her brother, Joel, play on the floor while chatting with Becky and Joel's mom and dad. (Jack is Mom's brother; Kay is his wife). Funny to think how long ago that was, and how the scene is repeating itself with another generation.

Altogether, it was a very successful evening!

Picking Rachel up from daycare

I did the honors last night, at Drew's request. When I arrived at 3 minutes before 6 at the entrance of St. James -- her new pickup place, since Toddler 1s are on the other side of the church -- she was sitting placidly on the floor like a little Buddha, staring out the glass door as the other parents and teachers milled around. (One nice thing about the move to Toddlers is they bring the kids and diaper bags down to the lobby to wait for the parents).

It took her a while to recognize mommy, probably because it was so dark outside. But as soon as I got her in my arms and started walking back to the car, she began pointing all over the place: At the oncoming headlights, the Portland Art Museum, other pedestrians, other kids.

Just for a moment, I saw the world through her eyes: Lots of bright lights, wet (it was drizzling) and people rushing everywhere. That's her view of life right now.

Busy weekend!

Today we're meeting with my cousin Becky and her husband, Edwin. They're in town for a conference and have never met Rachel, so we should have a fun time. We plan on going to a nice restaurant for dinner called Luca. Drew and I used to go there a lot pre-Rachel, and there is a wonderful dessert place across the street called Pix Patisserie. It will be interesting to see if Rachel behaves herself. Cross your fingers!

Then tomorrow I plan to drive to Eugene to hang out with our friend Molly and her three kids, leaving Drew at home to take care of some personal and house errands. I'm working unexpectedly on Monday and will probably take next Friday off.

I went to a going-away party for a colleague last night while Drew stayed home with The Little Girl. They had a great time laughing and playing together. She woke up once, around 10, but he was able to soothe her back to sleep. We don't know why she does that; it's an on-and-off thing these days.

At the party last night I had a long talk with Kathleen, a former editor of mine whose husband of 30 years died of cancer earlier this year. Her daughter has been having troubles and Kathleen, of course, is suffering the anxiety all of us are over the state of the newspaper industry. But she told me that she feels so fortunate that she had so many good years with Pat, her late husband, and that his illness really taught her to live in the moment. Look around you, she said, at the way the light reflects off the glasses, all the colleagues who were here tonight, etc.

I started crying, realizing how much I truly have. Yes, we really need to make more money and I am scared we won't be able to afford college for Rachel (and a sibling, if we are lucky enough to produce one) and a decent retirement. But my baby is healthy, my husband and I are employed and we live in a wonderful city with relatives close by. Really, life is good.

Sweet 16!

No, you're not dreaming -- our little girl hasn't suddenly become a teenager. She was 16 months old yesterday and, as usual, mommy is just catching up.

Rachel is:

--walking, by inches, with more confidence. She has taken up to 12 steps all by herself.

--terrified of the toothbrush (see previous post).

--covering her eyes with her hands and playing peek-a-boo. She also covers her eyes after she watches mommy do so on Shabbat.

--enjoying her rubber duckies that our friend, Charon, gave to her for her 1st birthday. They're her bathtime companions, she clutches one of them while I rock her to sleep, takes them in the car to daycare. Otherwise, she seems to not be interested in dolls or stuffed animals right now. We will make a point of introducing them to her again.

--really enjoying stacking blocks and boxes. And, of course, knocking them down!

--turning off lights. Most of the lights are push-button ones, so they're pretty easy for her to turn off and on.

--jumping into the fray at daycare. She's right at home with the older kids, they tell us.

--really into books. She loves looking at them, loves the feel and heft. Right now they're her favorite playthings. The ones she loves us to read to her are: Polar Bear Polar Bear What Do You See? and a book about dogs that I think is completely dumb but was Drew's favorite as a child. She likes it too!

--loving the game that mommy plays with her: When I go out of the room, sometimes I'll pop my head back around and growl, "RACHEL"! and give her a big smile. She can't get enough.

--looking like Drew, still.

--giggling crazily when we tickle her, which is very often. Her tickle spots are under her arms, her neck and her feet.

--throwing temper tantrums on the changing table. We have no idea why.

--kicking and stomping her feet when she wants to climb up somewhere (like the leather loveseat) or wants out of her car seat.

--pointing and saying, "wash shat?" with everything, it seems.

--still averse to trying new foods, alas. We seem to have settled on a no-meat diet of Gardenburgers, whole-wheat shells, eggs (yolk and all), cheese sticks, fruit, jarred vegetables and applesauce. Sigh. Does this mean she will be an unadventurous eater?

--merry and playful and real joy to come home to at night!

Toothbrush terror

We have made lame attempts at trying to brush Rachels' teeth, to no avail. She screams and cries whenever we get the toothbrush near her mouth. You'd think we were trying to torture her, or something.

So, tonight we're going to grit our teeth and force the toothbrush in her mouth -- gently, of course -- and just do it. One of us will hold her and the other will put the brush in her mouth, after showing her that mommy and daddy brush their teeth, too.

"I'd rather go through this now than have her get baby cavities," Drew says.

Cooperative baby

..that's what Drew told me to title the post today after Rachel very obligingly (and unusually) awoke at 7:15, just in time for me to feed her, dress her, take her to day care VERY early and get on the road for Hillsboro, about an hour west of Portland, to cover a hearing that began at 9 a.m. I was terrified of waking her up early, but Rachel opened her eyes as soon as I turned off the humidifier and rain tape we play every night. She gave me a big smile and only fussed a little when I got her on the changing table.

Bottom line: I got to the courthouse a half-hour early -- and, of course, the hearing didn't start until 9:15.

"We have a championship baby!" I told Drew by phone this morning. He is in Seattle until Wednesday, so I have an extra morning with Rachel. I plan to let her sleep because I'd like to take tomorrow off.

In other news: On her first day visiting Toddler 1s yesterday, we received this report: "Rachel made herself right at home in Toddler Ones. She loved looking at the books and enjoyed listening to songs being sung."

Way to go, Rachel! Perhaps the transition will be a tiny bit easier than mommy thought?

Playdates galore!

Yesterday I took Rachel out of the house while Drew installed shelves in the closet and moved ALL HIS CLOTHES OUT OF RACHEL's CLOSET. Now she has a closet all to her herself! It looks kind of empty without all of Drew's sweaters, but I'm sure it will fill up with tight jeans, oversize blouses...all the clothes I won't be able to stand. Ooh, I can't wait for all the fights about makeup, short skirts, inappropriate shirts....

Anyway, we met our friends Anna and Ruth, who is 3, at a cool coffeeshop near the library with lovely pastries. Rachel crawled around on the tiny playspace, which had two books and a pile of Legos. Once the older kids started playing with the Legos, she got right into the fray and took the Legos apart then handed them back to the kids. She also cuddled on my lap. I think Anna has a complex because Rachel refuses to let her hold her, but I'm sure that will change. Bet Anna will be one of her heroines someday, someone she can talk to because MOMMY JUST DOESN'T UNDERSTAND ME...

Then we headed south to Doug and Linda's. Their boys, Andrew and Jack, very sweetly went up to their rooms and kept coming down with toys for Rachel to play with. She was very interested in some play fruit, a puzzle and a wooden box with different-shaped blocks she could pile into the box. At around 3 p.m. I pulled her into my lap and she fell asleep on my chest! Babies get so sweaty and hot when they sleep.

Then I got home and Rachel threw the most amazing temper tantrum last night during her bath. She was also very cranky on the changing table this morning. I finally leaned her against my chest and stroked her back and she immediately calmed down. She's so adorable most of the time, I hope she's not entering an unpleasant new stage.

Shabbat candles

..Almost every Friday night, whether I've been to services (like last night) or not, we light the Shabbat candles. I cover my eyes and say the blessing over the candles, then say a separate blessing for Rachel. I put my hand on her head and tell her to be like our founding mothers -- Leah, Rebecca, Ruth and Rachel. Then we do the blessing over the bread and drinks, and eat.

Last night, after I uncovered my eyes and started blessing Rachel, she covered her own eyes, as if she wanted to say her own little blessing! I was absolutely astonished and very moved. I love the idea that she will think of Shabbat as a lovely, peaceful way to end the week.

Flu shot champ!

Drew took Rachel to get her second dose of seasonal flu shot yesterday, followed by the oh-so-precious H1N1 shot. If I can editorialize a bit here: If you have the chance to get your kid an H1N1 shot, DO IT!! Two friends of mine have had kids who've gotten swine flu and it is NO FUN. I would do anything to avoid exposing Rachel to it.

Anyhow: Drew also was able to get an H1N1 shot because of his "chronic condition" -- i.e., asthma -- which puts him at greater risk. He said that as soon as Rachel saw him get his shot, she started crying.

"I couldn't tell whether she was crying out of compassion for me, or because she knew she was next," he told me.

Bottom line: Rachel recovered quickly and ended up playing with two adorable little girls in the play area of the pediatrics department. By the time I got home from Shabbat services last night, she was her usual cheerful, giggly self.

We have walking!!

Rachel took six steps ALL BY HERSELF yesterday! It happened while I was at chorus. Apparently she matter-of-factly stood up near the coffee table, walked over to her toybox and pulled out a couple of toys.

Later she walked three steps, then plopped down on the floor and laughed and laughed and laughed. Drew said it was almost as if she was saying, "wow! This is so cool! Look at me!"

Why Rachel is a blessing

I was feeling like a really bad mommy today when I was fighting traffic to get to daycare on time. I ended up being 5 minutes late. Luckily Valentina, one of my favorite attendants, the one who loves Rachel, was there and held her while I grabbed the diaper bag and mumbled an apology.

Rachel was kind of fussy tonight, bursting into tears and stomping her feet (really!) when she didn't get her way. I finally gave in and lifted her up on the loveseat and she snuggled onto my chest after one of her crying fits. She lay there for 10 minutes, with me stroking her back. I think she was trying to calm herself down.

The leg-kicking is new. She did it when I tried to buckle her into the car seat today, and she does it when she's anxious to get out. Sometimes she'll kick her feet on the changing table when she wants to get up, or in my arms after I've taken her out of her crib.

She had a light dinner tonight -- I kind of forgot to give her applesauce for dessert -- but she was so snuggly that I read all the books she wanted me to. It make up for this morning, when I only had time for one book and she threw a fit.

So why is she a blessing? Because there's nothing like holding a freshly bathed, cuddly baby in a soft sleepsuit hours after getting the news that there will definitely be layoffs next year, sometime after February. The newspaper needs to get rid of 40 people and, frankly, I don't know how they'll do it. We're thin as it is. Just one more thing for me to stress out about.

Toddler blues

Drew and I toured the Toddler 1 section of daycare, where Rachel will start Nov. 16th. I was disappointed. The windows in each room are tiny, the rooms themselves looked grubby and the kids -- the ones who, just a week or so ago were in Mobiles with Rachel -- looked runny-nosed and a few seemed unhappy. And I've been told the main woman there, Teacher Karen, was great, but...she talked reallyreallyreally fast and it was hard to keep up with what she was saying. She also noted gently that toddlers are much more on a schedule than Mobiles. For instance, snack is at 9, lunch is at 11 or so, naptime is 11:30 until 2:30 and they nap on mats with blankets, not cribs. The whole idea of a schedule seems so grownup and corporate, and Rachel is still LITTLE! She woke up this morning at 9:15 a.m. (ok, granted, that was a little late for a weekday) and I can't stand the thought of putting her to sleep at 8 so she can get all whacked out and start waking at 6 just because some daycare needs her to be on a schedule.

Drew, who took the tour with me, said at one point, "Lisa, you look traumatized." I was, and I started crying. She's not even walking yet! Why does she have to move to another room? Teacher Karen said most kids take weeks to adjust, and it's new germs so they get runny noses and ear infections (oh, joy) and the transition is the hardest they'll ever make at St. James. However...Teacher Karen has been there for 21 years, her own daughter went through the program (I didn't have the heart to ask her whether she ended up at an Ivy League college), they have whole milk there so we won't have to bring it from home, they'll try to get her to drink milk from a cup, they'll encourage her to walk. And they don't watch TV and she won't get juice (we only give her water or milk). Still...

The whole experience left me very depressed today. Not even clothes shopping could lift my mood. I just wanted to run back to Mobiles, scoop Rachel up and say loftily, "you can't have my child. I'm keeping her until she's ready for kindergarten, and I'm finding another daycare with big sunny rooms and where they're on my daughter's schedule, not the other way around."

But of course, that is unrealistic. Drew reminded me that Rachel will have to wake up earlier eventually, and that it's easier to get her to do so now than when she's in kindergarten (which I had secretly hoped I could put off until then). A friend of mine reminded me later that children aren't really ours, we just get to borrow them, and our whole aim in life is to help prepare them to leave us one day as independent, sane human beings.

But as I was cuddling her in my arms tonight and singing to her as she fell asleep, I thought how much I'll miss these days. Her breath was so soft on my chin, and her little hand was tucked up near my neck, and I could feel how much she trusted her mommy to make her feel safe and loved, with no good reason other than she really doesn't have a choice.

I hope I never let her down, and I hope I can tell her how someday how I cried while I wrote this, realizing she will someday grow up and go away and all I'll be able to do is wave goodbye.

Winter's on the way....

...because today was the end of Daylight Savings Time. I was worried that Rachel would decide to wake up early since we set our clocks back, but no...she slept until 8:30! I played with her a bit this morning while Drew slept in, showered and made us breakfast. Then he took The Little Girl grocery shopping while I baked chocolate-chip banana bread. It's one of four breads I offered as part of the St. James spring carnival/auction and someone actually bid on it! The next three breads will be gingerbread, pumpkin bread and orange bread. Drew is very jealous, so I'm trying to make it up tonight -- I'm making turkey thighs with mashed potatoes and a beef barley stew that we both love. We won't have to cook at ALL this week -- too many leftovers!

We took Rachel to Laurelhurst Park today, a lovely park that we don't visit that often. She had a fun time on the play structure, then we visited the dog run. We played a little game with Drew holding her hands as she walked toward me, and I walked backward. So she had to catch up!

As I was watching her walk toward me in her little pink coat with multicolored buttons I stared hard at her, trying to remember every feature of her face and what it felt like to watch her walk toward me. I'm hoping the memory lasts with me when she's old enough to walk on her own and, in fact, will no longer want to spend weekends with her parents taking walks through the park.

She took one perfect step on her own this morning. Then she thought better of it and resumed crawling.

A bottle & book, please, mommy....

Rachel now likes to drink her last bottle of the night while one of us is reading her a book. She is no doubt preparing for the day when we all sit around the breakfast table on Sunday, reading newspapers and commenting. Assuming there are any newspapers to ready by then...

Her new game is grabbing mommy's nose. Then I grab her nose. Then she giggles. Then she points at my left ear and I point at HER left ear and say, "that's RACHEL'S left ear!" Then she points at my right ear and I point at HER right ear and say, "that's RACHEL'S right ear!" This continues with my chin, nose, neck, throat and chest. It happens several times a day.

She is "talking" constantly these days, pretty much from the moment she gets up. Shannon, one of the daycare ladies, told Drew on Thursday that Rachel had been talking to herself when she suddenly started laughing. It was as if she was telling herself a little baby joke! She cracks herself up!

And last night when I came home from work she was on the kitchen floor while Drew was making dinner. I gave her the car keys to play with, which she did for a minute and then handed them back to me and said a garbled (but still understandable): "want your keys?" I was so startled that I said, "um, sure, honey! Thanks!" and stared at her in astonishment. Apparently she is skipping individual words and going straight to sentences and paragraphs.

Rachel develops a sense of humor

Last night while she was on the changing table, Rachel took Drew's glasses and tossed them to the floor. She did the same with his cell phone.

Then she looked him straight in the eye and laughed! "I definitely got the feeling she was laughing at me," he said.

The other night I was on the phone with my friend Dave from college and I told him that Rachel had said, "how you say dat?" in Rachel-ese. Then Rachel looked at me and said it AGAIN! Dave was very impressed. He gave me the best description of seeing a child develop:

"It's like watching evolution," he said.

Rachel's new game

invented on the spot as I was getting her ready for her bath tonight: She was on the changing table and I was standing next to her when she suddenly threw herself against my chest and giggled. I grabbed her and half-tickled, half-hugged her. Then she looked up, grinned mischievously, and threw herself against me again. It helped that I was wearing a blue Patagonia fleece that I believe is her favorite of all my soft winter clothes. She did this three times before I regretfully had to make her stop because I wanted to get her to sleep a bit earlier than usual.

Rachel woke up at 8:50 a.m. this morning, really late for getting to daycare and getting myself to work. So we are trying an experiment: Getting her down to bed 15 minutes early. In her case, that means starting to clean up the toys and drink her bottle at 8:20 p.m. instead of 8:40. The bedtime ritual -- bottle, stories, bath, lotion, sleepsuit, songs, sleep -- takes about 45 minutes. So the upshot of it was that I got her to sleep at 9:05 instead of 9:20.

I hope this doesn't permanently screw up her sleep schedule and make her wake up at 7 or 7:30. But it's getting darker and colder and by the time I changed her into her sleepsuit she was already rubbing her eyes. So if this works, I'll have a bit more time to myself at night, which would be nice. I could really use the time to catch up on all the boring grownup stuff that Rachel never sees, like paying bills, balancing my checkbook, going through all the issues of New York that pile up because I never asked for a subscription but the folks there have kindly decided to send me the magazine in the hopes that I will finally break down and subscribe...

It's also a good time to post to this blog. So, goodnight folks. Catch you soon.

A lovely fall evening

We spent it at our friends Klaus and Carrie's house with their two kids, Ani (4) and Elsa (2). Rachel loved being around them. She laughed and crawled and cruised and tried to climb up onto the coffee table. When we directed her to the ottoman, she fell and did a nasty bonk on her head. She cried for about two minutes, cuddled in Drew's arms, cruised along the table to get picked up by mommy, cuddled in her arms for a minute....and then she wanted down to go to Dada again.

We brought over Moroccan stew and chocolate covered toffee bars. We stashed Rached in a booster seat and she did quite well. It was the second time in two days -- last night we shared a pizza with friends of ours three blocks away -- that Rachel has been in a booster seat. So, Drew says he'll try to find one on a shopping expedition with Rachel later this week. A booster seat! I had sort of assumed that she'd go straight from a high chair to sitting at the table like a little lady in, oh, two years or so. Guess not.

It will be great to have her sitting in a grownup chair. We love her high chair and plan to keep it a while, but it's nice to have another dining option, as well. And it means our small eating nook will be (slightly) less crowded, which will make mealtimes a bit easier. Now if we can only get her to eat an all-grownup meal AND drink milk from a sippy cup....

Words! Well, kind of...

I'm working my usual 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. shift today and Drew called at 9 a.m. with this report:

--He was reading a picture book to her called "Clip Clop" about Mr. Horse giving a ride to cat and dog and pig and duck. They go faster and faster, the animals fall into a haystack, Mr. Horse gets worried but the animals are OK and then they do it ALL OVER AGAIN. (Can you tell that I am really, really looking forward to the day when our reading will involve Greek myths?). Anyway, Rachel pointed to some random words and then said a very garbled, "a, b, c, d."

--Later in the same book, she pointed to a picture of duck and said, again in garbled Rachel-ese: "How you say dat?"

WOW!

I insisted Drew put her on the phone, and I said, "hello, Rachel! Mommy loves you! YAY! and blew kisses. She giggled and, Drew said, had a big smile on her face the whole time. Apparently she now realizes that Mommy lives in the phone, too!

California dreamin'

Highlights from our trip to northern California to visit Mom & Dad:

--Mom & Dad's condo overlooked Mt. Tamalpais and was right over the water, so we had a stunning view. Rachel loved pounding on the sliding glass door (she doesn't have a lot of hand strength yet so it wasn't dangerous) and looking at herself in all the full-length mirrors in the living room.

--We found a fabulous playground in Tiburon. It had a spongy surface, a small climbing wall, a steam shovel built into the sandbox and a cooking play structure built into the concrete. Plus there were lots of toy cars to push around. It made me immediately want to relocate. Rachel gingerly sat on Mom's & Dad's laps at the park, then scared them by pitching head-first down the slide and crawling through a tunnel, which she did over and over and over again. It was like she wanted to master it before going on to the next thing.

--We spent time at the Discovery Center, a fantastic kid's museum complex that started life as an old Army barracks. Rachel had a great time splashing her hand in a raised stream bed, crawling up some cushions that had been fashioned in the shape of an ant hill, and pouring gravel into a hard hat that Mom held out to her.

--Rachel and Drew were sick with colds, but Rachel slept like a champ in an unfamiliar crib right next to us. We were very impressed! It appears that we may, indeed, be able to take family vacations together. Camping during the summer of 2010, anyone?

Day trip

Rachel and I zipped down to Eugene, two hours south, today to visit our friend Molly and her kids Calvin, Camilla and Marigold. Camilla absolutely loves Rachel: She says she's the cutest baby in the whole world. And today, for the first time, Rachel didn't seem uncomfortable when Camilla hugged and kissed her. She just smiled and laughed every time she got near her. I made sure to point that out to Camilla, who is almost 6. We decided that she will be Rachel's big sister, since Rachel doesn't have one. So, Camilla is now Rachel's "big sissy" in Eugene.

Calvin apparently is so smitten by his baby sister, 14-month-old Marigold, that he didn't show much interest in Rachel. That's OK, maybe next time.

We spent most of the afternoon playing on an air mattress in Molly's hearth room while a cozy fire roared in her fireplace. It was so comfy! And Rachel loved being held by Molly and sitting in Molly's lap. That's quite rare these days; except for the daycare ladies, Rachel is most comfortable with mommy and daddy. I tried to take naps twice today but she kept crawling all over me. I think she sees me as a big jungle gym!

I fed her an early dinner, put her in her jammies and then strapped her in the car seat for the long ride home, when I practiced Christmas music for my chorus's upcoming Christmas concerts. I got a lot of work done, plus I hope that Rachel gets an appreciation for music when she hears mommy practicing in the car. It was lovely on the way down to Eugene belting "Angels we have heard on high" as I passed the brilliant fall foliage heading down the southern Willamette Valley. It is so beautiful this time of year, and a reminder that I am lucky to be blessed with so much.

Fastidious baby

Rachel seems to have an obsession with cleanliness. She'll put up with a certain amount of messiness on the tray of her high chair, but when she doesn't want to eat any more challah or Gardenburger, she'll push it away toward the edge of the tray as if she wants it out of her sight, NOW.

That is usually followed by her picking up miniscule pieces of soy or microscopic crumbs from the bread and handing them to me. This extends into her recreation; a couple of weeks ago at the park, she brushed a bunch of wood chips off the play structure before walking on it in her sneakers.

At the end of playtime at night, I've taken to holding out the bag of Duplos (big Legos) and handing her each one for her to drop in the bag. This usually occurs about 10 minutes after she has dumped the entire bag on the floor and laughed and laughed at the mess. I'm trying to gently introduce her to the idea that when it's time for bed, we pick up our toys and put them away.

I think Drew got a little jealous last night because Rachel wanted to feed me. She has done this for a couple of weeks now. When she's finished with her challah, she'll often take the second-to-last or last piece and hand it to me. When I cup my palm, she'll either ignore it or push it away and point the bread toward my mouth. When I reach down and eat it, a look of pleasure and relief crosses her face. It's so sweet! And generous!

Apparently she never does that with Drew. I think she sense that mommy may need more strength than daddy. Or else that mommies feed everyone and so they need to be fed occasionally, too!

Feetie jammies!

Never thought my daughter would be big enough to wear footie pajamas. Yet last night, Drew zipped her into her warm pajamas, which are pink and are covered with drawings of kittens. She doesn't even need a sleepsack!

Her favorite going-down-for-the-night position is now sprawled over our chests. The other night she pressed her chest and stomach against my chest and stomach and tucked her head under my chin. One hand held her rubber ducky and the other clutched my fleece.

It was tough to stop singing and put her in the crib.

Storytelling baby

Today when I picked Rachel up from daycare, Shannon told me that Rachel had spent a cheerful afternoon playing by herself and chattering away. "It sounded like she was telling herself a story about what she was doing," Shannon said.

Too bad Rachel doesn't yet realize that mommy intends to steer her toward a career that involves anything except writing for a living. I can't afford to support her AND me in retirement!

She continues to be quite sociable. This morning as I fed her her yogurt at daycare, she kept pointing toward another little baby, Vicente, who was eating graham crackers. I thought Rachel was angling for the crackers, but no -- she just wanted to touch Vicente. And they did! They touched fingers! It was so cute!

Also, I think there may be dogs she likes. She was terrified last week when we visited our friends Anna and Judy, since they have big, loud, slobbery dogs that even Drew finds a bit intimidating. Rachel cried and cried and cried, she couldn't be soothed against my chest.

Last night we visited our friend Vince, whose house I rented years ago when I returned from the fellowship and he left for it. (We basically traded residences for a year). His house was a big reason we decided to buy ours in the same neighborhood.

Anyway, we had a nice chat on his steps, with Rachel on my lap and his small dog, Daisy, in his lap. Daisy is pretty friendly but she didn't seem to notice Rachel. Rachel was so emboldened that she reached out and touched Daisy's nose! She couldn't quite bring herself to touch the back of the dog's ears, though. They are super silky and I bet Rachel would have loved the sensation. Maybe when she's a little older.

15 months! (and one day..)

It's hard to believe Rachel was ever an infant. Lucky I have the pictures to prove it! She's barrelling toward toddlerhood and I can tell we will soon have less and less control of her. She is:

--Approximating words. Her favorite is, "whash shat?" which Drew and I have translated to, "What's that?" since it is always accompanied by pointing. Now that we get to explain stuff to her, it makes talking at her much more interesting.

--Standing perfectly. And taking one tentative step before sitting down. It's almost as if she's nervous about walking because she knows that means she's not a baby anymore and thus has more responsibility along with the freedom.

--Building stuff. Which, in Rachel-world, means stacking one or two blocks atop each other until she loses interest.

--Matching some shapes and colors.

--In love with puzzles, simple ones. I can already imagine the day when she and Drew put together a 1,000-piece jigsaw while I read a magazine next to them, all of us in front of a roaring fire.

--Eating tortellini, whole-grain noodles (yuck, I say, but she doesn't mind the taste), hard-boiled eggs, almost any kind of fruit, cheese sticks and challah, her favorite bread. Yes, folks, she's Jewish.

--Developing a mischievous side. Sometimes when she's delighted, she'll squint her eyes and give me a huge grin and twsit her torso from side to side. Or when I feed her, she'll squint her eyes, tip her head and open her mouth, expecting mommy to feed her like a mommy bird would feed a baby bird!

--Very cuddly. She has started to put her head on Drew's shoulder and chest but reserves her cuddly moods for mommy. Today at daycare, I couldn't find an attendant to hand her to, so I took her over to a rocking chair, sat down and held her in my lap. She immediately lay her body against mine and tucked her head under my chin. I could have sat there for hours.

--Still looking like Drew. We are positive her eyes will stay blue.

--Growing, growing, growing. She is LONG and she has large hands and feet. She also has wavy brown hair with little curls in the back and a nicely developed baby tummy.

--Climbing everywhere she can and is tremendously frustrated she can't hoist herself onto our leather loveseat in the living room. Hey, I thought they were supposed to walk before they could climb!

--Bouncing to music. Her voice, to me, sounds musical too -- it's fun to listen to babies figure out how to use the timbre of their voices to speak. Never thought watching language development could be so interesting.

--A daddy's girl. Drew has spent more time with her than I have this past month, and they definitely get along wonderfully. I have to admit, though, that she gets excited when she's in his arms and sees mommy coming. Then it's back to "Dada."

--Pointing to letters of the alphabet and waiting for me to say what they are! Thanks to Chicka Chicka Boom Boom for being the most awesome book ever...

--Completely absorbing to watch. Now we know why couples don't have date nights. It's far more entertaining to stay home and watch what the baby does.

More baby friends...

Drew has had Rachel mostly to himself the last two days as I wrap up a long story. Yesterday, he said a little girl, about 2, came up to Rachel and gave her a hug! Then she planted a kiss on her cheek! Rachel was a bit startled but didn't cry. She ended up touching the other little girl's face. It sounded so sweet, I wish I'd been there.

Today they met another little girl, Betty. Her mother said she walked at 10 months of age. Apparently she and Rachel hit it off. Rachel was climbing all over the play structure at the park, sliding down the slide, and discovering the game of tennis. She whined for a tennis ball and a guy teaching his daughter to play rolled one to her. So, she proceeded to talk a couple of steps holding Drew's hand, with the tennis ball in her hand. Then she threw it ahead, and toddled after it, holding Drew's hand. She did this for a long time.

I guess this means I'll have to teach her how to play tennis. She will probably beat me in straight sets by the time she is, oh, 8 or so.

Can it be?

Rachel took two steps by herself last night...before falling on her bottom. Walking feels like hours or days away instead of weeks!

She stands up and sits down perfectly -- even gracefully. It seems she wanted to master that before walking, since she is rather stiff-legged when she tries.

In other news...Grandpa Oliver and Grandma Sylvie will have to wait a week before seeing us. Turns out a typhoon is about to hit northern California so we will be delaying our trip by a week.

whine, whine, whine....

Rachel has been whiny, off and on, the last two days. Drew describes it as listening to a dentist's drill, and he is absolutely right. It's as if she's unsatisfied with something and she can't figure out what it is. I hope this recedes next week when we're in California visiting Grandpa Oliver and Grandma Sylvie.

Last night we got a sheet from St. James explaining the Toddler 1 section. She'll have one naptime and defined periods of music and art. Hey, at least she'll be exposed to it before entering Portland Public Schools, where art and music are dismissed as frills and have been slashed to ribbons. Sigh.

I bought her a puzzle, two toy cars and some clothes at a consignment store I found yesterday while reporting a story in a town about an hour away from Portland. Turns out some of the clothes that were labeled 18 months are really for 2-year-olds, which means that I bought corduroy pants for her to wear in...July. Silly mommy! Oh, well, each piece was $1 so it's not like I wasted an undue amount of money. I'm sure I can swap them for some properly fitting clothes at one of the giant swaps around town.

Big baby, part 2

Did I mention Rachel likes climbing? She pretends to be all cuddly and lovey, and then she'll reach past me to grab the pillows on the loveseat to help climb her way to the top. I feel so used!

She also has demonstrated an unusual amount of interest in the baby gate that we've put at the top of the attic stairs. I had fastened it and was playing with her up there last Sunday while Drew slept in, when she crawled over to it and then stood up on her tiptoes and peered over the edge! Then she started fiddling with the fastener but couldn't unlock it. Drew says not to worry -- it's difficult enough for us to lock and unlock, let alone an almost-15-month-old.

In the last two days, whenever I set her down on the changing table to undress her, she stands right up. And when I was getting her some socks from the drawer underneath her crib yesterday morning, she grabbed the edge of the table and almost pitched herself to the floor. Thank goodness Drew was in the room, getting ready to leave for work.

I can't believe how careless I was. It's a wonder she hasn't hurt herself already. I'm sure that's coming -- with her first tree climb.