Sass

Rachel has started doing what many kids her age do, I guess: Talking back. Usually it doesn't bother me too much, but yesterday -- probably because I've been alone with her for almost five solid days -- it really started to grate on me: the "I know, I knows," the "I just TOLD you xxx," etc. Although we've always been firm with her -- there's no doubt who's the boss in our house when it comes to whether she gets to eat dessert, or an off-meal treat, or when it's time to go bed or outside, or do homework -- we speak in commands a lot of the time, not questions.

We all have sharp minds, and we all tease each other, maybe sometimes too much.

Last night, when she had finished her swim lesson, we went to Marymount College's cafeteria for dinner. She was watching two students, Taylor and Christina, play a card game called "palace." At one point, she and I were talking and she said, smiling, "Who asked you?"

"DON'T talk to your mother that way," I said sternly.

"Well, Daddy says that to me," she replied.
"Just because Daddy says it to you doesn't mean you get to say it back," I said. "And I'm going to have a talk with Daddy, because he shouldn't be saying things like that."

On our way back to the car I was silent, and then I asked her to give me her book. On the way home I talked to her about respecting Mom and Dad. "Can I have my book back?" she asked. "NO," I answered, because I wanted her to absorb what I had said instead of just tuning it out when she jumped back into her book.

When we got home I tried to explain why manners are important -- so many people don't have good manners, so if you're one of the people who does, it's a way to stand out. "But what if I don't want to stand out?" Rachel asked, very sensibly, which floored me.

I finally came out with something like, manners are important in getting friends, jobs, and in other aspects of life, but I'm sure she really got the message.