Ladies' Tea

The last event that Rachel and I attended before she went back to school was a Ladies' Tea put on by her friend Libby's mom, Kelly, at the Masonic Lodge where her husband is a member. I made gingerbread and talked with the other moms while Rachel played with the other kids, which included Sydney and a friend of hers whose name I can't remember.

I was deep in conversation with Jill, Kira's mom, when Rachel came over and wanted to go outside with Sydney and her friend. Nicole offered to accompany them (it was an unseasonably warm day) and I said, sure.

Then, not two minutes later, Rachel came racing in, sobbing, and buried herself in my arms. I asked her what was the matter and she was too distraught to talk. So I took her to the supply room and shut the door. Nicole and Sydney each knocked on the door but I told them to please go away. And then Rachel and I had a talk.

Turns out that Sydney had told Rachel rather rudely that she wanted to be alone with her friend, and Rachel felt rejected and left out, especially because she had been invited to play with them. I was absolutely furious at Sydney's inconsideration, but even more frustrated that Rachel seemed so upset. I told her that she has GOT to learn in life that some people won't be nice to her and she just has to deal with it. She started arguing back, and finally said, "I'm only 7!" And then something along the lines of, "You can't expect me to act like you!"

That one stopped me cold, and all I could say was, "Maybe sometimes I treat you too much like an adult?" She sniffled and said yes, and so we cuddled for a while until Sydney knocked on the door again, no doubt prompted by Nicole, and apologized for her behavior. They went off to play, and then Nicole explained that she had scolded Sydney for treating Rachel that way, and Sydney said she just wanted to be alone with her friend. And then I told Nicole that I'd told Rachel she really needs to get better at handling her emotions when other kids are mean to her, and that she certainly wasn't perfect.
"But Sydney can be unkind," Nicole replied, which shocked me to no end, a mother saying that about her kid, but she was right.

The girls patched it up in time for them to have a playdate at Sydney's, and I realized that maybe I had made too big a deal of things, but I hate to see Rachel so upset, especially when I think that she really needs to learn to handle meanness better. Hopefully what I said to her will stick.