Happy Thanksgiving, Part One

We had a fabulous Thanksgiving with Grandma and Grandpa, Darryl, Daniella and Valerie. Thank you all for making us feel so welcome and planning such wonderful things for us to do! A snapshot:

--We made it up to NYC pretty easily, since we left at 9:30 a.m. on Thursday. Rachel and I dozed off and on during the trip, and when we arrived and Grandma and Grandpa's, we pulled into the indoor pool's parking lot, changed clothes and got to their house just after 4. Darryl, Daniella and Valerie were already there, and the cousins had a joyful reunion -- and immediately went into the library to play with the awesome toys that Grandma and Grandpa had gotten, including some Legos and wooden blocks that Rachel -- who cheerfully let me give away both those things years ago -- became immersed in. Go figure. The food was fabulous, and thanks, everyone, for the compliments on the cake. Daniella's pecan pie was transcendent, and I don't even LIKE pecan pie.

--We slept at Grandma and Grandpa's, had breakfast with them the next morning and then drove to Darryl/Daniella/Valerie's. Drew took off to visit his family gravesite near Columbia and then to the Mets store (Rachel was very happy with her T-shirt and Mr. Mets figure, which she sleeps with every night), while we all walked (it was so warm outside, I really didn't want to go to a museum) to a local restaurant, Exo, and had frozen yogurt afterward while I dashed into Haagen-Dasz and had an ice-cream cone, for, probably, the last time this year, I figured (although it is supposed to be in the mid-60s this weekend, so who knows?). Then we all walked back to the apartment and put on "Mary Poppins," which I had really wanted to see again -- and, boy, what a difference Hi-Def and a big TV make. Even Drew was shocked when he showed up around 8 and saw the end of the movie. Once again we vowed to get a bigger, newer TV, and once again I'm sure it won't happen unless a) I start working full time or b) I bring in a LOT of freelance money next year. But money for a new TV would be worth it!

--The girls had a sleepover that night and bedded down under a tent that Valerie/Darryl helped construct out of a sheet taped to the furniture. It looked kind of cool, actually (the next morning, they built a zipline for their stuffed animals at the far end of the bedroom. These kids!). They woke up at 6:30, but Drew called sleepily from the living room that we weren't ready to get up yet, and so they were pretty quiet until around 8:30 or so. Thanks, kids!

A breathtakingly generous heart

On the Wednesday before Thanksgiving (which I had off), Rachel and I had the day together. Unfortunately we ended up running a bunch of errands, starting with a haircut for her at the place she always goes to, the Fair Oaks Mall (about a half-hour from home, where I've never been because Drew always takes her to get her hair cut). I pointed out a photo of a bob, and she said "NO," but I asked the hairdresser to cut off so much that it ended up being, in fact, a bob. Which did not please Rachel, but thankfully she got over it quickly. We wandered through a couple of stores, including Macy's, where I picked up a new teakettle (our old one died after Drew pointed out that bits of the inside had flaked off, and I was probably being poisoned, and we were NOT going to use our green teakettle anymore), and then headed home to bake a chocolate-chip pumpkin-cocoa cake.

Then we got Mommy-and-Rachel manicures and pedicures at Nails 2000, my favorite mani/pedi place in Arlington. And THEN we took Metro to meet Drew at Citizen Burger, which he wanted to try after my rave review. We were having a nice dinner until the end, when we started talking about scheduling over the next few weeks -- including the fact that Hanukkah started the week after Thanksgiving, and neither of us had time to get presents until well into the eight days.

And then Rachel, bless her, suggested this: Why not wait until Dec. 13, the last night, to open presents? Astonished, Drew said, "Are you sure?" And she said yes, and I felt my heart burst with pride because we have a raised a generous-spirited child who continues to astonish us with her patience and compassion. "You're a great kid and we don't deserve you," Drew told her, and it is indeed true.

Dental meltdown

Took Rachel to the dentist on Nov. 21, the Saturday before Thanksgiving, and the poor kid was traumatized. I mean, TRAUMATIZED. Dr. Wali is pleasant enough, and she has a daughter of her own, but Rachel was so upset -- she kept kicking her legs and crying, and I had to tell the dentist, sharply, more than once, to be GENTLE. (I went first, and she was pretty businesslike -- not gentle, just "let's get the work done, folks.") Oh, how I miss Dr. Mike -- Mike McKeel, our old Gresham dentist -- he was so nice, and his assistants were extremely careful.

Dr. Wali suggested we stop and come back another time, so she could do Rachel's lower teeth, but I said no -- just finish it all now. She seemed disappointed in Rachel's reaction, but all the while I was thinking, "I have GOT to find a better dentist." Luckily we got out of there quickly, and then I left Rachel with Drew while I went to meet a current and some former Post colleagues for a late lunch at Citizen Burger, what turned out to be an AWESOME burger place close to the Clarendon Metro.

Rachel defeats the bullies! For now.

Good to know my kid is putting my advice to use. Today, she went up to Oliver, who it turns out is in 4th grade, and said to him, "Don't go kicking my friend!" (He has generally been a nuisance to Rachel's friends, including Simone, whom he "accidentally" -- quotes are Rachel's -- tripped yesterday).

He replied to Rachel, "You're loathsome."

And she was ready with a response: "Really? That's all you can do? You can't even insult me in Spanish? WOW."

He was goggle-eyed. So were Simone and Sydney. THAT'S MY GIRL!!! WAY TO GO, RACHEL!

***

That started a conversation about bullying tonight during Shabbat. Drew and I told Rachel that we both had been bullied as kids, and when she pressed us for details, we couldn't remember the exact insults. But I remembered names of a few, which I told her: the kids who called me bossy, and smarty-pants.

"That's one of the challenges of being smart," Rachel said. Then she said about a hypothetical kid who teased her: "I"ll be rich and famous, and he'll be living in a house of sheets. And I'll say, 'Let me drop a little penny in your cup.' For being mean to me. And then I'll spit in his cup."

And then she came up with a great comeback to more teasing: "When I grow up, I'm gonna be rich and famous, and you'll be NOTHING. So you better start being nice to me now."

Insults

Poor Rachel is continually harassed by little boys in her class who call her "stick" and "stupid" and so forth. I told her that a great rejoinder would be, "Is that the BEST you can do?"

Tonight she started sobbing when I insisted she go to bed, and she said that some 4th-grade boys had called her "stupid."

"Remember what I said to tell them?" I replied.

"Yeah, but I forgot," she said.

"You can't do any better than THAT?" I play-acted. "Okay, how about in Spanish? Can you insult me in Spanish? What? You can't? You've been learning Spanish since kindergarten and you can't find a good insult? Okay, how about French? You can't insult me stylishly in French? Look at all the kids in this school who can speak multiple languages and you can't even figure out how to insult me in another language??? That is SO disappointing."

And then, I told her, she'd walk away. And if she did that enough, the other kids would stop calling her names because they'd realize they couldn't find a way to make her mad or cry, and that's boring, so they'd just stop.

Her tears dried instantly, and she did say that she used the "You can't do any better than THAT?" rejoinder to a kid named Oliver in her grade. She said he just stared at her and didn't say anything, and then I said, "See, you did great!" and gave her a high-five.

She'll have those stupid older boys whipped into shape in no time.

Rachel's reading tastes

I didn't have to work tonight, so Drew headed to the gym during Rachel's swim lesson, and I put her to bed. As I was joining her to read, she said, "Look, Mommy!"

She was reading a kid's version of "The Canterbury Tales."

"Where did you get that?" I said, astonished.

"Cherrydale," she said, naming a library branch. "I thought it looked interesting."

It's told in comic-book style, and she really got into it -- she refused to stop reading until she had completed "The Miller's Tale." I told her Grandma can read The Canterbury Tales in Old English, and that hopefully she can persuade her to do that next week.

A bad morning

I didn't get much sleep Tuesday night because I was preparing for two interviews Wednesday, plus a talk my editor that would determine whether I'd get through the holidays stress-free or as a crazy woman trying to finish a magazine cover story.

Bottom line: I was really cranky with Drew and Rachel, who stomped off after I told her to comb her hair, or something, and I was very cold to her on the way to school. I told her that that behavior was not acceptable, that I was exhausted but that I'd mad the effort to get up earlier than I'd wanted and walk her to school. "Got it?" I snarled.

She replied that she was still angry at me for the previous night, when I didn't let her read this blog because she really need to get to bed. I reminded her that I'd told her when we got home from dinner with Nicole and Sydney that she needed to go right to bed, no reading, no fooling around, and then she said, "but you said that was just about homework," meaning that after dinner, she would do homework and go right to bed, but she ended up doing her homework in the car. "Don't parse my words, Rachel!" I yelled. Then she started crying and said, "I like to read the blog because it's INTERESTING!" and that finally moved my implacably cranky heart, and I reached down and hugged her, and promised that I'd let her read some entries from when she was 3 years old, after I pick her up early on Friday (and we make flourless peanut-butter cookies for her sleepover with Sydney. At which time, Drew and I plan to go out for dessert and see an actual MOVIE).

By the time we reached school, she was fine, but I still felt awful. The interviews went fine, and my editor, to my great relief, said I need to do more reporting on the story and there's no deadline yet -- "You don't have a gun to your head," were her actual words, which made me very happy. I ended up calling home during a break at work and apologizing again to Rachel, who said -- as she always does -- "It's okay, Mommy."

I hope she remembers more of the cuddly fun times than the times Mom was cranky and stressed out.

Dinner with Sydney

I had planned to make a new recipe for beef stroganoff tonight, but I forgot that I had to make it in the slow cooker -- something I discovered at 5:40, so I called an audible and decided to take Rachel out to dinner (Drew was at a Girl Scout cookie meeting, since he has graciously agreed to be Cookie Dude again this year and manage the troop's cookie sales).

Sydney and her mom were going to dinner at a restaurant in Tyson's Square mall, and they invited us along. I followed behind Nicole because I wasn't sure how to get there. I made Rachel do her homework in the car, and even though I didn't have a pencil, she filled it out in pen and got all the answers correct, even in her "challenge packet" homework, which is slightly more advanced than what she's learning in class.

We went to a nice place, and all was going well until dessert, when Sydney pitched a fit when her aunt (Nicole's sister) wouldn't let her have some of her dessert because Sydney wouldn't share hers (she gobbled hers down before the rest of us had gotten ours, and her aunt chided her for being impolite). Then she started roughhousing with Rachel and pulled on Rachel's hands (they were both underneath the table at this point) so hard that I told her sharply to STOP IT. Then, she decided to walk out of the restaurant and I called out to her "Sydney! SYDNEY!" while the others were behind me. "Where do you think you're going???" I demanded when she got to the edge of the restaurant.

At that point Nicole was behind me, and I tried to explain that I had yelled at her kid because I was worried she'd get lost in the mall. She brushed it off, saying that Sydney does that a lot but then usually turns around, expecting people to be following her.

We said our goodbyes -- Nicole had promised Sydney a visit to the candy shop in the mall, which Rachel didn't even ask to do (and I was glad, because I would have said no), and then she got teary eyed and began crying a bit. She motioned for us to sit down on some cushioned benches nearby, and I took her on my lap and said, "What's the matter, sweetie?"

"This evening didn't go the way I wanted it to!" she said, crying. "I wish it had been more calm!"

And then, before I could respond, she said, "And, truth be told, I think Nicole should be firmer with Sydney."

Astonished, I said, "You mean, like Daddy and me?"

"YES," she said.

Never say that 7-year-olds don't know exactly what's going on around them. Or that they don't crave boundaries, which is why Rachel is the way she is and Sydney is the way she is.

I guess she likes us?

"I love my family," Rachel called from the bottom of the stairs on Sunday morning. "Even though most the time, they're cray-cray."

"Well, we love YOU," Drew said, "even though you're cray-cray ALL the time."

No reply from Rachel to that one.

Great literature

Last Thursday, Drew and were talking about something and he said, "After YOU, my dear Alphonse." That led me to our collection of Shirley Jackson stories, where that refrain figures prominently in one of the tales.

Then I noticed a short story called "Charles," about a boy who tells his parents stories about the terrible kid named Charles in his kindergarten, and his parents completely believe him until the last line in the story, when the boy's teacher tells Charles's mother, "We don't have any Charles in the kindergarten," and it turns out that it was the little boy himself who was doing all the terrible things lovingly outlined in the story.

I had an idea: Why not have Rachel read the story and see if she gets the point? So, on Friday, I plunked it down in front of her. She laughed at the stories of Charles's antics, and then, all of a sudden (I was in the study), I heard her exclaim, "WHAT?!?!"

I rushed back to the dining room. "Do you understand what was going on?" I said.

"The kid was doing all the bad stuff but blaming it on Charles?" she said doubtfully.

"YES!" I exclaimed, hugging her. "Did you like the story?" she said she did.

That is a story meant for adults, and my 7-year-old got it. I'm very proud.

Hebrew school snapshot

Last Sunday Drew and I had to take separate cars to Hebrew school. He ended up taking Rachel home, but before that, she wanted to show him the "meditation garden" behind her classroom. His report:

"So, Rachel was showing me the meditation garden next to the temple, and how a window in her classroom opens onto it. It was open, and she leaned in to say hello to her teacher and the teacher’s teenage assistant, and they invited us in to see some of Rachel’s classwork. (One of them, a drawing of things to be thankful to God for, Rachel for some reason included a family of groundhogs.) 

Anyway, after admiring the classwork on the wall, the teacher said Rachel is a pleasure to have in class because she pays attention, participates a lot and has good contributions. Then she said, “When Rachel raises her hand to ask what time it is and I say ‘One o’clock,’ she says ‘Oh good, because I don’t want Hebrew school to be over so soon.’”

Regan McAllister

Regan is the 19-year-old daughter of Jeannette, one of my longest-time friends, and tonight she came over for dinner. She's a freshman at George Washington University -- took a year off to study in Turkey -- and we had a delightful time.

Despite a pretty epic dessert fail, I managed to re-make it and dinner got on the table just after 8. Dessert was chocolate pots de creme (Regan is gluten intolerant, so no flour) and flourless peanut butter cookies, which Rachel loved -- who would have thought my kid would like peanut butter cookies? She suggested I make them as treats for her sleepover next Friday with Sydney -- and Regan seemed to like the meal. We talked about all sorts of things: college, her life living abroad and in Florida, what she wants to do when she finishes up (live abroad and hopefully work for the Tokyo Olympics in 2020). One of the great advantages of having kids later than everyone in your peer group -- okay, WAAAY later than everyone in your peer group -- is you get to see how their kids turned out and hopefully glean some great parenting insight.

Regan looks exactly like Jeannette and Drew had no trouble finding her at the Metro station. It was really weird to see that her long hair, her gestures, her way of speaking were exactly like her mom's. She appeared charmed by Rachel, even letting Rachel braid her hair at one point. Hopefully she'll be able to come back and baby-sit sometime.

Today was a yucky errand-running day (poor Rachel), but we got a bunch of them done so that next Saturday we are going to do something fun together without worrying about chores or bill paying or house cleaning or entertaining. Reason enough to give thanks, I should think.

Mystery reader!

Rachel doesn't know this, but I have a schedule for the whole year of when I'll be mystery reader, but I can't tell her that because it has to be a surprise. The teacher asked for more clues from me (she gives out the clues the week before), and so I had to be inventive. Some of the clues were:

--I'm a first-generation American; my parents were born overseas
--I have a good memory
--I could roller-skate and ice skate when I was a kid

This morning, Rachel crawled into bed (I awoke suddenly after a deep sleep and a weird dream) and asked, "Do you have a good memory, Mommy?"

"I don't have a good memory for anything these days, sweetie," I answered sleepily, and she seemed very disappointed.

But she was so happy to see me when I came into class today! She ran over and hugged me. I read two Native American stories in advance of Native American read-in day next Tuesday, which I would sign up to do except I have GOT to get moving on my next magazine story, and afterward she asked me if I could take her home straight after school, and I said yes. We ended up doing some more shopping for the holidays (including a beautiful dress and sweater for Thanksgiving and snow boots, which she really needed) at Target. I had dinner on the table by the time Drew got home at 7:30, so Rachel got to bed early for a change. Which is great, because we've got a lot of errands to do tomorrow and we're making dinner for Regan McAllister, the daughter of my friend Jeannette who is a student at GWU, and I need to do some straightening out a bit.

***

At dinner tonight, Rachel said -- upon being continually corrected my me on her table manners -- "You know what? When I grow up, I'm gonna do all the things you don't let me do now."

"Like what?" we asked.

"Eat sugary cereal," she said. "Not mind my manners, and have an iPod so I can bop to my music."

Really, sometimes it's all I can to do hold in my laughter.

Advice about teasing, and a Rachel thought

Rachel has complained about a boy named Sam (who I'd really like to take aside and tell to stop annoying my daughter because one day he's going to want to date her, and she'll remember what a jerk he was, and not give him the time of day) who calls her names, like that she's a "stick."

"What does that even MEAN?" I asked, and she seemed gratified.

But then I told her what she should say if he or other kids called her names -- Liam said she was dumb, or something like that, the other day -- and I told her her response should be, "Is that the best you can do? Really? I am SO disappointed in you," and walked away.

She loved that idea. So much so that she told Drew about it, and said she'd teach her friends. I can't wait until she tells me the reaction when she tries it on some mean kid who's bothering her.

***

While we were having lunch at the sculpture garden, I asked Rachel, out of the blue, "What is the best and worst thing about being an only child?"

"The best thing is that I don't have to share my things!" she exclaimed.

And the worst thing, she said, "is that I'm often lonely. You and Dad work a lot."

A perfect Rachel and Mommy day

Wednesday was Veterans Day, and Drew had to work (as did I, but not until 3:30), and Drew said he didn't know of any camps being held, so I told Rachel she had her choice of what we could do together. She said, "I want to go to where you and Anne went the other day."

"You mean, the sculpture garden?" I asked.

"Yes," she replied.

And that is exactly what we did.

She ended up having a sleepover at Ivy's on Tuesday night (we have GOT to coordinate this better; I had to work, thus giving up a prime opportunity for Drew and I to have a date night -- dinner, a play or a movie, sigh) and then I picked her up at 9:30 a.m. I showered while she read, and then packed some snacks and books (she was going to go to Drew's office in the afternoon) and then we started our walk to the Metro. She said she wanted to take me to a new park she'd discovered while walking with Ivy and her grandma the other day, and I said sure.

Another time I would have urged her keep on task, that we had to get to the Metro so we'd have enough time at the sculpture garden, but I am trying an experiment to not be so stressed out with her and just let our moments together take us where they will. So I followed her -- and, oh, it was quite a walk, about a half-mile to a mile, but it really was a lovely little park. (Mom and Dad, it reminded me of Jones Park in a way, the way the light filtered through the fall leaves, and the warm weather.) Then we had to hike back to East Falls Church, and we both agreed that we were looking forward to sitting on the train for a while (I was lugging all my work bags and my back was starting to hurt.)

We got to Federal Triangle and it was quite a hike to the sculpture garden near the Pavilion Cafe, a lovely little lunch place near a skating rink that I really wanted to take Rachel to. But when we arrived, there were practically no people, even though it was a holiday!! We had a great lunch and sat for a while, just admiring the sun outside, and then walked around to look at the sculpture. She was enchanted with a Roy Lichtenstein House, a set of granite chairs that are the only sculptures you're allowed to sit on, and a giant typewriter eraser, and a spider. We had a lot of fun talking about the sculptures while I read the artists' names aloud.

At one point she turned to me suddenly and said, "You'll never be 25 again." Weird.

THEN we decided to go to the Hirshorn, where I'd gone with Anne and David, but we only had a little bit of time left so we sort of cruised through part of it (although I did get to take her by a musical exhibit of a woman, on tape, singing alternate versions of two early American songs about people who refused -- or were refused -- marriage proposals, drowning). Not sure she completely understood it, though.

And as we were leaving, she saw a carousel and really wanted to go on it, and I said sure, only one ride -- even though I was worried about the time -- and as I watched her go around and around and touch the pony's golden mane, and saw the delight on her face, I thought, the hell with it, so I'm late, does it really matter? And then we walked very fast to the station, while she said over and over again, "Mommy, I love you. This is the best day of my life."

As it happens, I met up with Drew at The Post, we did a quick handoff (to the delight of some of my colleagues, one of whom saw Rachel through her arms around me and exclaim, "I love you!") and I was in my seat by 3:30.

Absolutely perfect day. I wouldn't have changed a thing.

The questions this kid asks...

The other day, Rachel asked me out of the blue while I was getting dinner ready: "Mom, have you saved for retirement?"

"Rachel!" I exclaimed. "What a question! Yes, I have."

"Good," she said. "Then I don't have to save for you."

"Rachel!" I exclaimed again.

"I was just checking," she answered defensively. Guess I won't count on her taking care of me in my old age...sigh.

Early Thanksgiving with Uncle Dan!

On Saturday, we got up early to make a turkey (I had made a pumpkin chocolate chip cocoa cake the day before), stuffing and brussels sprouts for an early Thanksgiving with Uncle Dan, which is fast becoming a family tradition. We piled it all into the car and got there around 1:30, warmed everything back up and then ate lunch. I was so happy that everyone -- including Dan! -- asked for seconds. Afterward I took a quick power nap on the couch and then we all sat around and talked until around 5. It was a great, relaxed visit and we all had a really good time.

When we got home no one really felt like eating much. Anne and David went to Trader Joe's to get food for the plane, and when they came back Anne decided to stay at home while David, Drew, Rachel and I went to Lebanese Taverna. We still weren't hungry but decided to order appetizers (and I had two drinks; between editing and shepherding a long story into The Post, it had been a tiring week). David and I sat next to each other and had a long talk about cars, Pismo Beach, planes, etc. It was a very relaxed dinner. Then we drove home, put Rachel to bed, and then I went to bed soon after because I was exhausted (and a little hung over).

The next morning we all had a leisurely breakfast. Drew took Rachel to Hebrew school, Anne and David started packing up and I got ready to go to work. We all said our goodbyes -- they left just before Drew and Rachel got back -- and then Drew took Rachel to Ivy's for a playdate and drove me in to work. It was a lovely way to end a wonderful visit with Anne and David; Anne said that Rachel is now, along with her and David, a member of the "No Wuss Adventure Club" and Rachel said, "I want to go to Camp David and Anne!" which set everyone laughing. Soon enough, sweetie, we will send you there for a couple of days one summer -- while, as Drew points out, he and I will go to Camp Shakespeare (as in, the Shakespeare Festival in Ashland, Ore.)

Bonfire!

On Friday night of last week, Anne and David decided to head to a concert in Takoma Park. I went to the morning fitness class that is killing me these days (Barre; it's like ballet on steroids) and picked up Rachel from a school a little early (much to my shock, I discovered that it was too hot to wear jeans, so I changed into shorts and a short-sleeved shirt) to head to a bonfire at Lacey Woods Park, near her friend Libby's house, that the Girl Scouts were organizing. I couldn't get a straight answer as to whether parents were welcome, so I went with the idea of dropping Rachel off -- but she begged me to stay and so I sort of cornered Jill and Kelly, the troop leaders, into letting me hang around.

The girls made a craft of pipe cleaner and wood, and then they all gathered around a big fire and, much to Rachel's dismay, were bossed around by the bigger Cadets and Juniors, who acted as buddies while the girls went to the fire and roasted marshmallows (the idea was for everyone to make s'mores). I told her that she couldn't get too mad -- just like she was earning her patch, the big girls needed to guide the little girls so THEY could get their patches -- but she was still annoyed. She also got mad at one of the parents of a girl from another troop who scolded her for drifting away toward a nearby pavilion. (I should explain that it was very dark, no one had thought to bring flashlights, including me, so it was quite a challenge trying to get around.)

At the end of the evening, Sydney asked if they could have a sleepover, and I said no, but that we were heading to Silver Diner for dinner and she and Nicole were welcome to join us (Nicole was a bit put out at finding parents there when she had been told not to attend, and Kelly tried to smooth things over). Kelly's daughter, Libby, ended up joining us, so it was Drew, me, Nicole and Syd, Libby and Rachel.

Things were going fine until Syd's order came (her mom said she could order waffles and eggs, which surprised Drew and me to begin with), and she pitched a FIT. She started whining and crying that the waffles didn't taste good, that there were eggs in them, that they were touching the scrambled eggs on the plate, etc. etc. and her mom tried to calm her down. Whereupon she started acting up, followed by Rachel, and then Drew told them not to run around, that it was a restaurant and not a play place, and then Syd started whining some more that she was bored, and there was nothing to do, and she started sassing Nicole, and all I wanted to do was lean over and smack her, but of course I couldn't. Anyway...the unpleasantness kept on until I urged Drew to ASK FOR THE CHECK, which he did, and we had been charged for two things that we had ordered but hadn't come, and so it took longer, etc. When we finally left, Rachel went home with me and said in the car, "You're the only one who understands me, Mommy," which warmed my heart.

We got home, put her to bed, and then Drew and I deconstructed the dinner and agreed that if Rachel had acted up, we would have said firmly, "That's it, we're out of here," left, and gone home, and if Rachel had continued fussing, we would have started removing privileges. That is because we have always set firm boundaries with Rachel from a very early age, and I think that kids really appreciate that because it helps them navigate the world.

Anne and David, Part II

Anne and David returned for a couple of days last Tuesday through Sunday. We had more great fun together (even though I had to work the whole time -- boo!) Some more highlights:

--On Wednesday, it was such a beautiful day that when Anne and I went into the District together, we couldn't bear to go inside in a museum, even though we had plans to explore the Smithsonian Castle and the nearby galleries. Instead, we sat outside on a bench near the lovely gardens on the castle grounds. Anne did some work; I munched on a peanut butter and chocolate bar from Trader Joe's that she kindly offered me and read the paper. At 3 p.m. I reluctantly left, but not before snapping a photo with my camera and labeling it: "72 degrees and sunny. I've died and gone to heaven." Because it was true. I loudly expressed regret that I had to go to work -- only to find, after I got in, that I was scheduled for a late shift and thus could have spent AN HOUR LONGER OUTSIDE. Epic fail on my part.

--On Thursday, Anne, David and I went into the District together and found ourselves at the same place, with similarly nice weather. After getting a wonderful lunch at the food carts near Federal Triangle, we decided to stay outside and wander through the sculpture garden at the Hirshhorn Museum. I hadn't been there, and it was so lovely to wander through on an unusually lovely fall day. What a treat! Anne and I took lots of photos until it was time for me, reluctantly again, to go to work -- although this time, I knew I didn't have to be in until 4:30. Altogether a great way to spend time with family.

Doctor's appointment

Took Rachel in for a doctor's appointment on Monday, Nov. 2. The doc said she is "perfect" -- at 45.4 pounds, she's in the 18th weight percentile for her age group (6-10 years), and is 48 inches high, the 45th percentile in height for her age group. She has 20/20 vision.

When I told the doc about her reluctance to eat vegetables, she said I didn't need to "hide" them in milkshakes or smoothies (although I may try to do that next spring/summer), but she told Rachel that by the time of her next appointment, she needs to be eating at least two other kinds of veggies besides salad leaves (which I think is a perfectly reasonable request, but Rachel is not so sure).

The visit ended with a flu shot. Poor Rachel climbed in my lap and screamed and sobbed after the shot; I decided to get one, too, and thought it was going to be much worse than it actually was! Rachel quickly recovered, though, and by the time they gave her a token for her to get a little figurine in a machine they have there, she was fine. I took her in to school late (I had explained the reason to her teacher beforehand), and that was that.

Anne and David, continued

On the Sunday after Halloween, the weather was still great, so we all decided to go to Great Falls -- only this time, from the Maryland side. And what a great decision THAT was! It's a totally different experience. Much closer to home, and I think the path and the view are prettier. Plus, THEY HAVE FREE BIKE RENTALS!!! Okay, the bikes were uncomfortable, and we couldn't take them to the viewpoint, but still. What a cool concept.

Rachel and I biked a bit, and then accompanied Anne to the viewpoint -- the one we see when we look across "from the Virginia side." I pointed out a kayaker to Rachel, who got a thrill watching him? Her? navigate the rough water. Anne took bunches of pictures, and I would have loved to stay longer except that I had to get to work (and Anne and David were headed to Uncle Dan's.) On the way back to return the bikes, Rachel whispered to me, "Mommy? I didn't want to rent the bike, but I didn't want to let you down." I told her that I really didn't want to rent the bike, either, once I found out how awkwardly it fit me, but that I appreciated that she was willing to go along with what the rest of the group wanted.

I said goodbye to Anne and David after we returned the bikes, then hopped in the car and went to work. Drew and Rachel went grocery shopping and did their usual Sunday stuff.

Anne and David!

So, we got extra lucky in October when ANNE AND DAVID, in addition to Ruth and Steve, came to visit. We had a fabulous time with everyone! A few highlights:

--Friday, Oct. 30, was their first full day here. Drew and I had cleaned the house and planned a Shabbat dinner before they came, so on Friday we all hung out until Anne accompanied me to Rachel's Halloween parade at school toward the end of the day. She helped me help the kids get into their costumes before the parade, and then she raced out front to catch pictures of Rachel marching behind the Swanson Middle School band, which again accompanied the kids as they walked through the neighborhood. I, of course, had forgotten my cellphone at home, so I raced back, grabbed it, and met Anne just in time to take a picture of Rachel, who was beyond adorable in her Betsy Ross costume of a Colonial-era dress we had gotten her in Williamsburg, a white mobcap, an apron that Ivy had given her, and an American flag ("Spirit of '76") that Drew had brought her from a flag shop near our insurance agent. I snapped a wonderfully iconic picture of her; she looked SO CUTE!!! Afterward I helped with the class party, to which I had brought candy corn -- the other parents were running games, and I could tell that Rachel just liked the fact that I was there. Then we walked home together and I started making dinner.

That night, we had roast beef, Yorkshire pudding and chocolate silk pie -- all of which everyone enjoyed -- and it was great catching up about our lives and talking.

--On Saturday, HALLOWEEN, Drew took Rachel to our neighborhood park for a Halloween parade and games while I showered, ate a quick breakfast and then headed over, hoping to find food, which of course was gone by the time I arrived. But it was a fabulous day weather-wise, and so nice to see all the neighbors pitch in with games and fun. We ran into Ivy and her grandmother going on a walk, and they invited Rachel along. So she ended up spending most of the day with them until she arrived back home at 6 because Sydney and her mom had extracted a promise from us that we'd let her and Rachel go trick or treating together. (Meanwhile, Anne and David and I discovered a great walking path from our neighborhood right into Falls Church near a bookstore and a restaurant that was separate from the bike trail; I can't wait to take Drew and Rachel on it.)

Syd and her parents arrived a little after 6, and I almost didn't recognize them -- Nicole was a zombie mom, Chris (Syd's dad), was a New Year's baby (completely with a costume diaper and big butt -- I am not kidding, we all laughed) and then Anne and David graciously agreed to go trick or treating with them while Drew raced out and got pizza for everyone. I stayed home, listening to "Peer Gynt," (is there a better soundtrack for Halloween? NO) while we got a bunch of trick or treaters and I let them have a lot of candy. Our neighbors across the street put up glow-in-the-dark cobwebbing, and the folks down the street had an open fire in a fire pit, and as I stood outside, I thought how wonderful it was that we ended up in this neighborhood. I call it "Mayberry-on-the-Potomac," and it's true, it's just like that.

When everyone got back, we spontaneously decided to feed everyone pizza, and Drew just loved having everyone sitting down and eating pizza, talking and laughing together. They all recounted how Rachel insisted on carrying Syd's trick-or-treat plastic pumpkin candy holder, even when it got really heavy. Each of the girls gave me some candy as a present, and I hugged both of them. There wasn't enough room for all of us to sit down together, so Drew and I stood and talked with everyone until Nicole, Chris and Syd left. It was a perfect Halloween, the best one yet!

Pumpkin patch

The weekend after Ruth and Steve were here, we all headed to a pumpkin patch with Ivy, Liam, Jenny and Billy, our Foreign Service neighbors from up the street. It was an interesting day -- sunny and deceptively warm in the sun, but it got colder later. As it turned out, we had been there with Charon, Wes and Cameron the first year we arrived in D.C., which was a bit disappointing because I had hoped to discover a new pumpkin patch -- but we made the most of it.

The kids were immediately drawn to the long slide and the barn with piles of hay; it got all over Rachel's hair and new sweater and pants I'd just bought in a gigantic shopping expedition to finish out her fall wardrobe. We all split up to get the various food we wanted; I got butternut squash soup that a BEE flew into; smoked beef; and a caramel apple (which Rachel, regretfully, did not like) while the kids got hot dogs. After a while, Billy, Jenny and Liam headed back to let their new dog, Flannel, outside, and we agreed to keep Ivy until early evening. While I waited on an extraordinarily long line for us all to get our faces painted (Rachel insisted on me getting mine painted, and I told her I'd match her peacock design), Drew took the girls on a pumpkin carriage ride and to a few other things. We got our faces painted, and then the girls separated from Drew and me as we all walked through a big maze. The only thing we didn't get to do was to take a hayride through the fields for an actual pumpkin, which we ended up getting at the pumpkin patch's store on the way out.

It's a lot of fun to be able to take outings with other families, and that weekend looked like it was going to be the last vaguely sunny and warm one, so we made the most out of it.

Catching up

October has flown by, and November is upon us...and I have been very neglectful of this blog. So sorry about that, family and friends. Here is my attempt to catch up:

In mid-October we had the great good fortune of having Ruth and Steve come to visit Dan -- and we got to meet them, and Will and Chloe, for brunch on Sunday. What a treat! Rachel was so glad to see everyone, even if she did heartily embarrass Chloe by asking, "Is Will going to propose to you?" (I had been talking with Steve and was only vaguely aware of the conversation.) All of a sudden, I heard Ruth say very gently and calmly to Rachel, "Usually, people don't ask other people if someone is going to propose to them," and then I turned to face Chloe and the poor woman was blushing scarlet. "Rachel!" I exclaimed, and I felt so bad for Chloe. She seemed to take it with good humor, though, and so I took Rachel to the brunch buffet to find something to eat. Before I could stop her, she had gotten a dessert pudding, and I had to explain that she couldn't eat it (although she did manage to scarf down a small brownie instead). Unfortunately there wasn't much for her to eat that she wanted, but she did manage to get some breakfast in her before we had to leave for Hebrew school.

That night, I got an extraordinary call from Rachel's Hebrew-school teacher, Mrs. Siegel. (Drew and I had forgotten that it was meet-the-teacher-day.) She is a volunteer teacher with a heavy New York accent and said she just wanted to tell me that Rachel had done something amazing in class that day. They had been discussing the concept of God, and asking God for help. All the kids took turns saying what they wanted to ask God for help about, and Rachel said, "I want to ask for help saying, 'I'm sorry.'"

One of the other kids then said, apparently, "That's the hardest thing to say."

Mrs. Siegel said she was amazed at Rachel's ability to ask for help with the concept of saying she was sorry and added that it was incredibly mature of her to do so. We chatted a bit more -- she said that Rachel was very sweet, great to have in class, etc. I told a her a little about my background and how important it was for me that Rachel gets a good Jewish education and develops a love of the religion.

I love it when teachers call about the good stuff.

Parent-teacher conferences

Interesting meeting with Ms. Burke, Rachel's freakishly young teacher with a tattoo on her finger and black nail polish. This is her 2nd year of teaching, but she seems bright and enthusiastic and has attended some gifted-children seminars, so she has some ideas for teaching that we think will benefit Rachel. She has picked up on the fact that Rachel is a very advanced reader, so she's putting together an advanced reading group that will do more discussing the texts -- kind of like a book club, she said -- instead of teaching them to read.

They do a test every year called PALS (Phonological Awareness Literacy Screening) that tests spelling ability, word recognition, letter sounds, and oral reading in context, which tests word recognition, fluency and comprehension.

Benchmark is 20; the highest score is 48; Rachel got a 48. She recognized all the words from the first-, second-, third- and fourth-grade word lists; 16 out of 20 words from the fifth-grade word list and 18 words from the sixth-grade list (and 10, or half, from the seventh-grade word list). She reads 123 words per minute. She is at a sixth-grade level in accuracy, fluency and comprehension.

The benchmark "summed score" is 35; the highest is 68. Rachel got 68.

We are very proud.

She also got 80 percent of her math problems correct on a timed math test they gave her, and Ms. Burke thinks that's because Rachel ran out of time. She also took a test a few weeks ago that, although they didn't say this, Drew thinks it is one of the tests they use to determine whether Rachel is eligible for gifted services. Rachel reported that she didn't think it was very hard, and there was only one answer she wasn't sure of. We should get the results in a few weeks.

Activity-filled Saturday

Another glorious day -- fall in D.C. is something else. All of us got up early and out of the house to volunteer for a cleanup of our neighborhood park (the one we walk to that is five minutes away). It's owned by the community, not the county, and both Drew and I signed up to prepare it for winter -- weeding, mulching, raking leaves and bagging them. We got there around 10 and people seemed very glad to see us. Drew set about raking leaves and I began weeding and then spread mulch. Rachel was a champ -- she started raking leaves with a rake twice her size, then helped the volunteers with the wheelbarrows of mulch, wheeling the wheelbarrows when they were empty and grabbing a handle when one was full.

We were there for about 90 minutes, then I headed home to shower and head to a housewarming for my work colleague, Matt, whose townhouse burned down last year. He lost almost everything he owns, but he -- at 57 -- is looking at this as a means of starting anew. He's divorced and one of his two twenty something daughters lives with him. He got to choose colors, finishes, fixtures, etc. for his new place, and it looks terrific; he has very good taste in wall colors and furniture (even if the giant-screen TV and three-section reclining couch scream "Bachelor's Pad!").

It took me 90 minutes to drive there -- he lives in Maryland -- after getting lost a few times, and coming back I had a long wait for a toll both (ugh, need to get an EZ-Pass), and got to Great Falls just in time to meet Drew and Rachel and the rest of our synagogue for a hayride, campfire, hot dogs, s'mores, pumpkin-patch visiting, and a lovely havdalah ceremony to close out Shabbat, with one of the rabbis playing songs on his guitar and the havdalah candle lighting the night while I sat in front of one of the campfires. I was perfectly warm and content, and it was a lovely way of finishing up the weekend, since I do go back to work Sunday.

A leisurely Friday afternoon

Rachel and I had a wonderful Friday together, after a hard week at work -- I worked six days straight, had to deal with allergies and all-around leftover crumminess from the bronchitis, so I ended up not walking her to school a couple of days. I was determined to make that up to her.

So, after parent-teacher conferences on Friday (more on that later), Drew went to work and I picked up Rachel from the school library. She whined a little about going on a bike ride -- she would much rather have spent the day reading, but it was going to be rainy and I was dying to get out and exercise, and I wanted to give her more practice on her bike.

When I was firm about leaving, Rachel did the most extraordinary thing: She announced that SHE WAS GOING TO MAKE US LUNCH TO BRING WITH US "so you won't have take your wallet." When I pointed out that the jelly was on the side of the refrigerator, she looked a little chagrined but then set right to making herself a sandwich, packing us each a granola bar and some milano cookies. I grabbed half of a roast-beef sandwich I had bought on Thursday, and we headed out. Her resourcefulness so impressed me.

On our way out the door, we ran into Ivy, Liam and their babysitter, Lindsey, and agreed to meet them back at their house at 2 to walk to Toby's to get ice cream. It was the most beautiful day -- low 70s, warm, shorts-and-T-shirt weather. So we headed towards Alexandria (I was half-hoping she'd agree to ride all the way there), stopped at a playground pretty far along the way, and I pretended to be a monster while I chased her around, which felt so good to do after all my foot problems. Then we hopped on our bikes and almost got as far as Shirlington when I told her we needed to turn back; it had started drizzling, but lightly.

On the way back we were very hot and tired, and she said, "Mommy, do you think I deserve a milkshake?" "We've exercised a lot today, sweetie," I said. "But do you think I deserve a milkshake even if we hadn't exercised?" she said. "I think we BOTH deserve ice cream," I answered, and that seemed to satisfy her.

We got back at 1:30 and met Ivy, Liam and Lindsey and walked to Toby's -- it's about a half-mile from our house. I estimate that we probably biked about 6 miles total, which seemed to impress Lindsey. Rachel had a milkshake that was a combination of pumpkin spice ice cream and chocolate (meh) and I had a scoop of peanut butter cup with hot fudge. Then we walked back, Rachel went to Ivy's for a playdate and I started making challah and matzo-ball soup, and then collapsed on the couch for an hour because I was exhausted. A bit later Ivy's mom walked Rachel back, and she insisted on braiding the challah (and doing a darn good job of it, too) and then set the table. We had a lovely Shabbat dinner, and then Drew went to the gym while I cleaned the house a bit and sorted through some mail.

Really, it was a most excellent day. I was so relaxed, and I realized it was because I got to spend uninterrupted time with my daughter.

Mystery reader

For the third year, Rachel's class has "mystery readers" every Friday -- parents who come in and read for 15 minutes to the kids. Her teacher this year, Ms. Burke, has the parents give five clues that she shares with the students all week, one a day, so they can guess who will be coming on Friday.

I signed up to be the first mystery reader of the year. My clues were:
--My favorite thing to do in the summer is swim outside
--My favorite thing to do in the winter is read by a fire
--My favorite place is in the kitchen
--I drive a car the color of night
--I work with words for a living

I warned Ms. Burke that Rachel is very hard to keep secrets from and that she'd probably figure it out...and she almost did! She tried to trick me on Thursday morning as I staggered out of bed, half asleep, asking me if my favorite place was in the kitchen, etc. I said I was too tired to answer and went back to bed.

Then this morning, she said, "Uh, mom? Um...we have a mystery reader..."
"Oh," I said. "Are they still doing that in third grade?"

Her little face just fell, and her eyes teared up. "SECOND grade," she said, then went off, very unhappy, to wash and brush. I hated to do that to her, but I wanted it to be a SURPRISE (Drew said she told him last night at dinner that she pretty much had figured out it was me).

When I got to the class with an armload of books, Rachel jumped up, raced over to me and gave me a gigantic hug. She looked so happy to see me! I had picked out some cool books, one of which made the kids laugh a lot and another that was a little old for them, but as I told the kids (and, later, Ms. Burke), they're all smart kids so I thought they'd get a lot out of the books. And they did! It was the first time I've ever made a class of Rachel's laugh.

The kids also got to ask me questions based on the clues. A couple of them thought it was going to be their parent coming in. One kid asked what kind of car I drove, another asked what pool I swam at. They really seem like a nice group.

And then I collected Rachel and she insisted on stopping at the library. "Five minutes," she promised, but then she found a book about Cleopatra and gave it to me while she read the book she'd checked out, and I became engrossed in the Cleopatra book...and I looked up and all of a sudden it was 5 and we had to go home so I could make the roast chicken and potatoes I had bought for guests who were supposed to show up but decided to stay closer to Annapolis because of the driving rain. We hope to meet them for brunch Sunday.

Yom Kippur

Last week was Yom Kippur, and I was determined to take Rachel to at least one service, although since she's not fasting, I decided to keep her in school.

I was determined to fast, but the day before Yom Kippur eve I dragged myself to the doctor. She diagnosed weak air passages because of the bronchitis and gave me two inhalers -- one for day/evening and another for relief during the day only. She also told me not to exercise for at least two weeks (and yes, I am really looking forward to resuming exercising next week when this will be over) and when I asked about fasting, she looked at me as if I was crazy (and it was clear she had never heard of the holiday). "Can you at least drink water?" she asked. We both sort of decided that it would be a bad idea for me to go without food, and since I was on medication it made sense for me to eat.

On Yom Kippur morning I had a light breakfast -- I slept in, so didn't go to services -- but attended a discussion group about Israel's reaction to the Iranian nuclear deal. Really fascinating; glad I went. Then on impulse I decided to take Rachel to concluding services so she could hear the shofar again (she loves hearing the sound of the shofar) and once again she was beautifully behaved. We got back home and Drew had made popovers and roast beef, so we had a really nice dinner even though I hadn't fasted.

I'm so glad Rachel is old enough to go to synagogue with me and isn't fidgety. I even gave her some of the mediations to read (in the siddur and in the prayerbook I have that I bought years ago), and she really seemed to get something from them.

Catering

Forgot to write about the catering job I did two weekends ago -- it was an auction item I had donated for the McKinley annual auction. They set the bidding too high, so no one bid, but luckily the woman who bid last year contacted me a few days later and asked if Dan and I would do the pig roast again. Of course! I said. She agreed to cover our food bills and Dan's gas getting up here from South Carolina and donate $500 to the school.

So, on Friday, Sept. 18, I left the house mid-day to do the shopping for the event. Then I got home late in the afternoon and started the process of cooking black beans and sofrito for 18 adults and 21 kids; preparing Cuban bread with butter, parmesan cheese and minced parsley, and marinating several packages of chicken in mojito sauce and cut-up oranges. I was up past 1 a.m. by the time I finished, cleaned up and decompressed.

The next morning I was up at 8, ran out to a New Orleans bakery to buy beignets for Dan (I thought he deserved them, driving up and essentially giving up a lucrative catering gig to work this fundraiser), got back to say goodbye to Drew and Rachel, who left for a Pew Research Center picnic. Then Dan and I spent most of the afternoon preparing the pig at Holly's house (she was the one who bought the auction item) as well as paella in Dan's monster-sized paella pan -- we did shrimp, chicken, sweet peppers and rice, and it was a HIT. Dan loved the black beans and sofrito; when he tried it before we brought it over to Holly's, he pronounced, "I ain't worried about this dinner tonight," which was a big relief.

And it turned out great! Very few people had the bread, which I will remember for next time -- but they loved the paella and the pig. Holly mixed us some cocktails so I was quite relaxed by the time the whole thing was over and I had finished cleaning most of our equipment and lugging everything back to Dan's truck, which left my legs extremely sore the next day. It was totally worth it.

Poverty

A few weekends back, Rachel was watching "Kit Kittredge, American Girl," an American Girl Doll movie, about a girl named Kit whose father loses his job during the Depression. I was catering that night (more on that later), and Drew said he and Rachel had to stop watching it after a while because she got so, so upset when the dad lost his job.

A few nights later I was putting her to bed when she suddenly burst into tears (she had been weepy the whole night, and Drew was getting irritated). "What's the matter, sweetie?" I said gently while we were cuddling on her bed. "I'm afraid Daddy will lose his job and we'll be...POOR!" she said, and that's when I knew it was the movie that had really spooked her.

I took her on my lap and explained that Daddy has very high math skills and that he will ALWAYS be able to find a job because people want to hire other people who understand numbers. And I told her that Mommy will always be able to find a job because I know how to make people's writing better and to write myself. So it's highly unlikely that we will ever be poor.

She seemed to calm down after that, and then added, "Mommy, please don't tell me any more grownup secrets anymore." By that, I think, she meant that maybe Drew and I shouldn't share quite so much with her. It's not that we share so much, exactly, it's that she overhears us talking about money and the fact that I need to earn more of it, so her head goes to places that it really shouldn't.

"I"m sorry, sweetie," I said. "You act so grownup, sometimes I forget how young you are."
"I'll try to act more like a 7-year-old," she promised.

State Fair!

Ever since the Minnesota State Fair (and the awesomeness of Princess Kay of the Milky Way), I've been sort of a state fair nut, dragging Drew (and now Rachel) to every state fair -- and some local ones, too -- where we've lived.

Today was the start of the Virginia State Fair, which lasts a week (it ends next weekend), and because I'm working next Saturday -- a once-in-a-lifetime rarity -- I decreed that today would be the day we'd head to rural Virginia. It's a 90-minute drive each way, with rain threatening, and Drew and I were up very late last night paying bills and doing some paperwork decluttering, so we didn't end up getting out of the house until 12:30. I brought umbrellas and boots just in case, but left them in the car because I didn't want to drag them around.

It was cloudy and sort of cool when we arrived, but we headed straight for the kids' area, anyway, and Drew smartly bought Rachel an unlimited ride pass. She went on a bunch of them, including the Ferris wheel, with Drew before the skies opened up. And, man, did it rain! We all got soaked and I gave Rachel my raincoat because she looked so wet and miserable. We took refuge in the dove/bird exhibit tent -- the doves were cooing! It was adorable! -- and then the poultry and bunny tent, and then we went to the petting area where we saw llamas! guinea pigs! Sheep! Goats! Cows! And the sweetest, fuzziest baby chicks EVER. By that time the rain had let up, and we went back to the rides where Rachel discovered a trampoline ride with a harness that allowed her to jump really high and do forward and backflips. She persuaded Drew to let her go twice, and I got some great shots of her mid-flight with her hair flying.

After the rides we decided to get something to eat (I was wet and cold and getting cranky by that point), so we wandered to the food area and the Midway, and got dinner -- brisket and pizza and unsweetened iced tea, a rarity in this part of the world -- and then ice cream for dessert (Rachel). Rachel went on a couple of the scarier rides after that, including the Tilt-A-Whirl and a space-themed ride that looked scary to me (the sign outside said, "Frightened children should not be pressured into riding."). Drew wanted to bet on whether Rachel would come outside and throw up or say, as she had after the Tilt-A-Whirl: "That was AWESOME!" It was the latter, of course, and then Rachel had this to say: "While everyone was screaming, I had a lovely little chat about Star Wars with the person next to me." I swear, sometimes she sounds like a little old lady.

We didn't leave until 9:30 -- we sure got our money's worth, although Rachel didn't get to bed until 11, and yes we are bad parents for keeping her up so late. The time is fast arriving, Drew said, when he'll schlep Rachel and her friends to the fair, give Rachel $50 and tell her that's all she gets for the day, so she has to budget for rides, food and anything else she wants to buy, and he'll meet her at the end of the night for the drive back home.

Two Rachel decisions

Rachel told Drew (and, the other day while I was half asleep, me) that for this year's Science Fair project, she wants to see if yawns are contagious.

Not sure how we're going to manage that, but okay.

She also told Drew that when she goes to middle school (Swanson Middle School, if we manage to stay in the neighborhood and she doesn't choose the alternative H.B. Woodlawn) she wants to learn how to speak French.

Why French? he asked.

"Because I think I can express myself more stylishly in French," she said.

We're looking into it. Heck, I'd get her lessons now, if I could.

Sherlock Holmes

On Sunday as we were sitting around finishing up a late breakfast, Rachel and I got into a discussion about Sherlock Holmes, one of her favorite authors -- I could swear she knows his stories (at least, the kids' version of his stories, by heart) -- and she asked what my favorite Holmes stories are.

"The Valley of Fear" and "A Study in Scarlet," I told her.

She, of course, asked me for summaries of both.

Do you have any idea how long they are, and how many twists they contain? I obliged, anyway, and when I asked if she really wanted to hear all the details, she said plaintively, "I LOVE hearing your voice; you tell stories so good!" (It's true, she's constantly asking me to tell her stories about my childhood, and about when she was a baby and a toddler, which is why I'm so glad I can turn to this blog).

Then she followed with, "You'd be a good librarian."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because you know how to shush kids," she said.

Oh.

Reading test

Rachel announced yesterday that her class was given some sort of reading test -- basically, each kid had to look at words flashed on a computer and say the words aloud (no need to give an explanation, just say what the word was), and there were different levels of words that the kids got.

Rachel told us she successfully pronounced words that were listed on the EIGHTH-GRADE list. So, theoretically, she is reading on an eighth-grad level!

She said her friend Simone told her she had gotten words on a 10-grade level, but Rachel believes that's impossible because the list only goes up to eighth grade.

Regardless...wow. We told her over and over again how proud we are of her. She seemed pleased. I am really looking forward to our back-to-school conference with her teacher, Ms. Burke, in two weeks!

"How are babies made?"

Yeah, that's how most kids would ask that uncomfortable question, which leaves parents squirming.

Here is what Rachel asked Drew the other morning at breakfast (I was upstairs, asleep):

"How do a man and a woman combine their DNA to make a baby?"

Drew described his answer, which is way more coherent that mine would have been: How each cell has a set of DNA, and how DNA in a sperm combine with DNA in an egg, and that's how a baby gets made -- more involved than I'm saying here, but you probably get the gist.

gymnastics

Rachel is in Level 1 advanced in her county-run gymnastics class, meaning that they do more advanced work like chin-ups, pushups, and the like. To pass into the next level, she has to learn how to do a perfect cartwheel and several chin-ups. We will see how this goes.

Afterward she complained that the instructor was "too strict." She has to pull her hair back (it's not optional anymore) and I told her that this is the next level, which means it's harder. She looked unconvinced.

The instructor, who is also named Rachel, said that our Rachel is "one of the stronger kids in class" because of her ability to focus. I was watching some of the advanced gymnasts, some of whom appeared to be quite young, and she said that they had been plucked from some of the county classes and put on a more advanced track. They are in USGA, the certifying organization for the Olympics, and Ms. Rachel said that they had been there since 4 p.m. (it was 8 p.m.) practicing, and that they practiced 20 hours a week. She also said it's too soon to see if our Rachel is that talented. Right now, she said, the kids have to learn the concept of squeezing their muscles and working their bodies before they can really show promise.

Rachel was happy to hear that her teacher said she was one of the stronger kids, so maybe she'll be happier about the increased rigor. We also bought her a sparkly purple-and-silver leotard to replace the one she has, which is too tight.

Rosh Hashanah day

I had told Drew last night that my foot ached so much that I maybe would go to the hospital today, and so he interpreted that to mean that he should send Rachel to school (even though we'd told them that Rachel would be home for the day). Bottom line: I woke up at 8:30 as she was dressing for school. I stopped the process; she put on a dress, Drew and I got into a huge argument; he stomped off to work and I threw on some clothes, my boot for my sore foot, and we got to synagogue only 15 minutes late this morning (as opposed to 30 minutes late on Sunday. Hey, that's progress).

Several other people were late, too. Rachel spent much of the service lying on my lap (Sunday she sat ON my lap, burying her face in my neck and kissing me) but said she was listening as the rabbi gave an excellent sermon on white privilege and duty of Jews to work for social justice. It was truly inspiring and I hope to incorporate some of those lessons in my own life this year.

Luckily we got to hear the shofar not once, not twice, but three times -- Rachel had really been looking forward to it -- and they called all the kids up to help put the Torah away after the long reading (although Rachel was disappointed that she didn't get to at least help put the caps on the scrolls and the pointer in place). I had brought in a notebook and colored pencils, without telling her, just in case she got bored, but she wasn't restless or obnoxious at all -- and the service was 2 hours, pretty long for a kid her age. I thanked her tonight for her patience.

On the way from synagogue to the car, which I had to park quite a ways away, we noticed other people were walking to their cars, too. "Those are the unfortunate souls who got here late," she declared. Sometimes she really does sound like a little old lady, the way she talks.

Then we stopped to buy lunch salads for me this week, got home and had lunch, and then Rachel said, "May I please got upstairs and take a nap? I'm tired," and I said sure, and then I lay down too, and didn't get up until 2:30. Rachel was up by then and wanted to play on the swings and I said, sure, go outside, and then I set about getting things ready for an early (5 p.m.) dinner because I was going to take her to her first gymnastics class. We didn't finish our quick meal until 6:15, but we made her class with time to spare.

I had really, really wanted us to go for a walk or a long bike ride because it was a perfectly beautiful day -- sunny and only 75 degrees -- but my foot hurt and I couldn't rouse either of us to do so (Rachel spent a lot of the afternoon reading). Sigh. Next year? When I'm better?

Quiet weekend

With both Drew I sick (at his insistence, I visited my doctor last week and she diagnosed bronchitis) and some unexpected fact-checking work on two sensitive stories that came my way, I was reluctant to go on our scheduled camping trip to Bull Run on Saturday and Sunday. Plus, I had scored free tickets for "A Midsummer Night's Dream" by the Shakespeare Theater Company for Sunday afternoon, and I was worried about how we'd race back from camping, change clothes, go to the theater, come home and head to synagogue for the first night of Rosh Hashanah, then head home to a home-cooked dinner.

Fortunately it rained on Saturday morning -- rained and rained and rained -- and one thing that Drew and I agreed on is that we do NOT go camping in the rain. And Rachel's friend Ivy wanted to have a playdate (we had seen her the night before at McKinley's first-week-of-school ice cream social, which I'd never attended until this year), and we hadn't seen Ivy in a while, so...Rachel went to Ivy's, Drew ran errands and I worked on fact-checking most of the afternoon.

That night, Ivy came over for Family Fun Night. I had sushi, the girls had pizza (and after a glob of pizza ended up on a sofa cushion, Drew smartly banned all eating while watching movies, which is a good thing), and then Ivy went home. After putting Rachel to bed, Drew insisted on watching Mission Impossible (Ghost Protocol), which means we ended up going to bed too late and woke up late on Sunday (but in time to Skype with Valerie and Tia Daniella). Afterward we got to the theater in time to go to the Patron's Lounge (free, again), which had drinks and snacks, and then we saw the play.

"A Midsummer Night's Dream" was AWESOME, one of the best productions I've ever seen. Rachel howled -- absolutely howled -- at the play-within-the-play, especially at Puck's antics, and except for some whispering that Drew did to explain what was going on, she was able to follow the plot pretty well (it was set in the 1930s). The only thing that marred the experience somewhat was the young woman (probably early 20s, if that), who kept turning around and giving Rachel and Drew dirty looks (after a while, she opened some candy and began eating, which was strictly forbidden). If she had said anything, I would have replied, sweetly, "Some day, you'll come here with your 7-year-old son or daughter, grateful for the free tickets, and I hope you remember how you acted today." Come to think of it, I probably should have just said it anyway.

We took the Metro back and because of delays, we ended up getting to synagogue about a half-hour late. We still took in most of the service, though, and because it was short, and Drew didn't have time to make dinner, and the game hens were frozen -- we didn't end up eating until 9 -- steak and popovers, which is not exactly a fancy Rosh Hashanah dinner. But we dipped apples in honey and got Rachel to bed before 11.

Unfortunately I ended up pulling a muscle or something in my left foot -- the one that has been plaguing me all summer -- and so I iced it, took some Tylenol 3 and hobbled off to bed in misery. Not the best way to start the new year.

2nd day of school

I walked Rachel to her second day of school, and as she was unpacking her things I tried to help her get organized by attempting to put her lunch sack in the big cart with the other lunch sacks/bags.

"I have a routine, Mom," she explained, gently shooing me away. "Um, okay!" I sputtered. I watched her go into class, hoping she'd give me a wave or at least a hug or kiss goodbye. Nothing! She walked in and never looked back.

Pretty soon, I guess I'll just leave her at the front door of the school because she'll insist on going inside alone. Or, more likely, she'll just be too embarrassed to be seen with me.

First day of school!

Rachel's first day of school was last Tuesday. She had the usual first-day-of-school worries, especially because she didn't get the teacher she wanted (Ms. Wallach, who runs the student council and has a guinea pig and another class pet, and Libby and Tasia and some more of Rachel's friends were in her class). We were disappointed, but the teacher she got, Ms. Burke, seems quite nice (although, as I pointed out to Drew, very young. She looks 19 but is probably in her mid-20s, which means I am old enough TO BE HER MOM).

Rachel was very upset that I made her dress up a bit and absolutely refused to put on a dress. I made her wear a skort and a turquoise shirt to match. "I'm afraid my teacher will think I'm a girly-girl!" she said, teary-eyed, after I forced her to take off her shorts and T-shirt. She also fought Drew on shoe wear but finally agreed to wear her Keens.

When she got to school she saw Gabby and Addie, friends from kindergarten and first grade, and a couple more kids she knew. When I tried to say goodbye, she was already being shown what to do by Gabby, who had arrived a bit earlier. I left knowing that she would be fine, and then Drew told me she had a good day.

vacation

Drew and I have been battling bronchitis (and have matching antibiotic regimens! Isn't that too sweet for words?), which is why I've been lax in updating the blog. So, to catch up on the last two weeks:

We had a lovely if way-too-short (as usual) vacation in the Outer Banks. Drew was coughing uncontrollably the Wednesday that we were supposed to have left, so we left on Thursday instead -- thereby putting into danger all the stuff I had planned for us: kayaking in the Sound, an all-day trip to Ocracoke, a visit to the flight museum and plenty of beach time. We left later Thursday than we wanted to, but neither of us was in any shape to get up early and leave with the sunrise.

We stopped for an early-ish dinner at a great place called Southland on the NC border after we ran into traffic around Hampton Roads, which means we didn't get to PopPop and Mammaw's until nearly bedtime. I took NyQuil the entire time we were there, which enabled me to sleep while Drew shook the bed trying to conceal his coughing. Rachel, of course, completely avoided getting sick.

On Friday, we went to the beach. It was the absolutely perfect beach day -- warm but not too hot, and the water was the ideal temperature -- refreshing but not too cold. Rachel and I spent most of the day in the water, she jumping over waves near the shore and me catching her as she tried to jump over the waves. One time I didn't manage it and she got a good scare going underwater, then ran back to our blanket and covered her body with a towel, shaking and sobbing. I sympathized with her a bit, but then told her the best way to get over it was to get right back in the water, which she did. I didn't want her to come away traumatized by the ocean, and she seemed to recover quickly.

PopPop and Mammaw cooked a grilled chicken dinner that night and had a lovely surprise for Drew -- an ice-cream cake from Carvel, yay!! and Rachel and I gave him his 50th birthday gifts: a new Daddy Tool (Swiss Army knife) and two pairs of cargo shorts, one of which was unfortunately too big and had to be returned (which Drew did this past weekend).

The next day was windy, and so we all went to the aquarium (at Rachel's request). It's quite a good one considering that it's far from a big city, and the best part for me was to watch the turtle recovery efforts -- I told Drew that if we lived in the Outer Banks, I'd definitely volunteer for turtle rescue duty -- those critters are big, and they look very friendly. We had lunch there and then headed home with the idea that we'd go to the flight museum. But then Rachel announced that she wanted to take a nap, and I was tired, too (from being sick or from allergies; at the point I had no idea what it was except that I was sneezing and coughing), so we crashed for about an hour or so before dinner.

PopPop and Mammaw took us to an excellent seafood restaurant with great cocktails and we all had a  nice time looking at the sunset. Rachel was very disappointed when we told her we weren't going to get dessert there, so I gave in and said, sure, order the Hershey's chocolate cake (which was way too sweet, even though I had only one or two bites). We got home, put her to bed, and then Drew and I watched some episodes of "House of Cards" together.

The next day we had a good breakfast and took our time about leaving, since we stopped at a recently reopened lighthouse hoping to walk the 100+ steps to the top. You have to buy tickets, and to kill time before we walked upstairs, we walked a path out to the estuary where they had a lookout, and you could see herons and the ocean beyond -- absolutely lovely. By the time of our tour, it was 1 p.m. and the temperature inside the lighthouse was 104 degrees, so they closed it to walkers. So disappointing, but there was nothing to be done. We told Rachel we'd just have to come back sometime, which we will do next year because, as I told Drew, we are spending more time visiting PopPop and Mammaw if we have to cancel Oregon to do it. It's totally worth the relaxation time!

The ride home was almost totally traffic-free because it was a Sunday evening. We ate dinner at a lovely little restaurant in Fredricksburg (must explore more of that town!) and then got home around 10, got to sleep at 11:30, and then we all slept in the next day. Drew took Rachel to a baseball game (the Mets won!) and I went to work.

Altogether, a wonderful (yet, as usual, too-short) vacation!

Greek myths influence

When we were at Bread & Chocolate for lunch today (I told Rachel that when it's a bit cooler outside this fall, we should all bike to this restaurant for brunch, since they have Nutella pancakes, and she thought that was a terrific idea. As do us all.), Rachel kept asking us when the server would bring the bread she had promised.

"You're so impatient!' I said.

"I'm like Phaeton wanting to drive Apollo's chariot!" she responded, and there was really nothing I could say in reply. Thankfully, the bread arrived soon after.

Bataan Death March Bike Ride

Years ago, when we lived in Oregon and Rachel hadn't been born, Drew and I took a wonderful two-week hiking/camping/Oregon Shakespeare Festival trip around the state. Of all the places I've been, that remains one of my favorite vacations.

One difficult part of it -- for Drew, anyway -- was the time we hiked through the Wallowa Mountains. We must have gone 20 miles, and by the end he had blisters on his feet and was limping and exhausted. I, of course, was so chipper that I said, "We should do this again tomorrow!" Whereupon Drew exploded and basically said, NO, he needed to rest. "I am NOT going on another Lisa Bataan Death March hike!" he said, and I cracked up, and it has since become a running joke with us.

I guess you could describe today's 20-mile bike ride into Alexandria as a similar event. I had planned on us all going to Baltimore -- Drew has the week off; Rachel doesn't have camp; I wasn't scheduled to work tonight -- but then Rachel said she really wanted to do a family bike ride. In typical DeSilver/Lednicer fashion, we woke up late (Drew is fighting a cold) and didn't get going until noon. But Rachel said we should try to make it Mount Vernon after I had suggested that idea, more as a joke than anything else, and so we set off.

I was convinced that TLG (The Little Girl) would want to turn back, but no, she kept on going until we all got to Alexandria at around 2 and decided that Rachel and I needed snacks (Drew insisted he wasn't hungry). We stopped at a favorite little lunch spot we know called Bread & Chocolate and had some quiche, salad and chicken -- Drew just ate bread -- and drinks. Then it was on to Ben & Jerry's for ice cream. At that point, Drew announced that he was tired and didn't think he could make it 12 more miles to Mount Vernon. I offered to take Rachel with me, but Rachel vetoed that idea -- "I want us to have a FAMILY bike ride," she said, and so we all agreed to turn back.

The ride back was way more difficult -- the sun had come out (it had been overcast in the morning), the wind was against us and Rachel was really having a tough time (Drew was queasy and had a headache), and we kept having to stop. When we finally made it home around 7 (we had left at noon), we estimated we had ridden 20 miles. TWENTY MILES!! And this kid had just gone on a few tiny practice rides with her new bike, and we dragged her on a 20-MILE BIKE RIDE. What were we thinking?!?! But she was a smash success, and we told her over and over again how proud we were of her, and gave her lots of hugs and kisses, and now she and Drew are upstairs, collapsed in their beds, and I am trying to decide whether it's worth it to try to make dinner or whether everyone is out for the night. I believe the latter.

A quiet weekend

Drew and I had an unexpected date night on Friday because Ivy was finally back in town after three weeks in California, and her mom agreed to let Rachel come over for a sleepover. So, Drew and I managed to get a table at the Green Pig Bistro in Clarendon, which I have been wanting to try for a while, and then dessert at a place next door called the Bakeshop, with out-of-this-world cookies and ice-cream sandwiches. And then we saw the new Mission Impossible movie! It reminded us of when we used to be spontaneous in Portland, pre-Rachel.

This whole weekend was more relaxed than usual -- we had to ditch plans to go to Philadelphia because of financial concerns, and Rachel's brownie troop was holding a get-together at a local playground, anyway, so we decided to stay in town. I took Rachel to the get-together, following her on her new bike with gears and hand brakes (thanks again, Grandma and Grandpa!), and she insisted on doing some practice loops in the grass at the park. She fell a couple of times, but at least it was on grass. The get-together was okay; there is a new girl in the troop named Daggie (after an Ayn Rand character, her mom said, hastening to add that she doesn't agree with everything that Rand has to say) and Kira and April (Kira is Rachel's bestie) brought their dog, Sparky, that Rachel kept wanting to take for a walk -- she really needs a pet, but the owners of our house have vetoed all animals, including guinea pigs, hamsters and the like.

After the get-together, Rachel and I went to Tyson's Corner mall to shop for Drew's 50th birthday, which took most of the afternoon. When we got back, we were so tired that we fell asleep for about two hours. Then we decided to bike to a nearby playground, where we stayed for a half hour. We went to the Stray Cat for dinner, then tried a new ice-cream shop in Falls Church, which turned out to be EXCELLENT. And when we got home, it was so late that we just crashed.

On Sunday we had a lovely, if brief, visit with Uncle Dan and ended up spending most of the time talking about...computers, which was way more interesting than it sounds. And then Drew dropped me off at the Shady Grove Metro, and I took the train in to work. Had never taken that route before and it was interesting -- it's literally at the end of the line. Got into work a few minutes late, but otherwise, it was an uneventful night. Sundays usually are.

A visit from an old friend

Jeannette McAllister, a friend I've had since about kindergarten, was in town this past week to drop her second-oldest daughter, Regan, off at George Washington University. Even in the midst of all the stuff she had to help her daughter with, Jeannette managed to squeeze in time for lunch with me, which was a big deal for both of us.

We managed to talk for more than 2 hours -- we essentially caught up after about 20 years of being apart and keeping in contact only through Facebook -- about everything: Kids, friends, parents, jobs, husbands, etc. It was one of those great afternoons that left me smiling as I went in to work. Her oldest daughter, Cassidy, is a junior at Northeastern and her youngest, Cameron, is in 5th grade. I told her we would definitely invite Regan over for dinner (and send her back to her dorm with yummy leftovers so she won't, you know, starve:)). So excited that we'll get to know her, since I'm eager to see how similar she is to one of my oldest friends!

An Oregon weekend

Last weekend, friends of ours from Oregon happened to be in town for work-related reasons, so we spent a fair amount of time with them. Melissa and I met at a Northwestern Alumni Association picnic in Portland soon after I left the Oregonian, and became fast friends -- she was head of the board of the Oregon Ballet Theater and got me into a lot of backstage events when I bought tickets. She has a daughter, Natalie, now 14, and a son, Jeremy, 16 (who was not with them on this trip), and a husband, Steve, a financial planner.

We all met at the Phillips Collection and had a lovely time exploring the country's "first modern art museum." I discovered two artists who had been born in Portland, and there was a lot of photography and a beautiful wood-paneled library on the ground floor, which had been part of the house that was now a museum. Rachel's attention flagged after two hours or so, and after we said our goodbyes, Drew, Rachel and I played a game Rachel invented with Scrabble pieces called "Make Words." We each got 10 letters and had to connect them to each other as fast as we could. It turned out to be pretty fun, and we played it in the cafe until it closed at 5.

Then we wandered around Dupont Circle for a while until it was time to head to the baseball game, where we met Melissa and her family for a Nationals/Brewers game at 7:30. We were in the cheap seats, but the view was terrific and it was a great game -- the Nats won! -- and I enjoyed talking to Melissa. We said our final farewells outside the ballpark, and I raced into the team store to buy a Nats shirt (Rachel already has one), and then we took the Metro back to East Falls Church, where we'd parked our car that morning when we headed to the museum. That's what I love about this city, that you can get on the Metro in the morning and come back late at night, doing everything by subway. Such a change from my life in Oregon.

On Sunday, we went to the annual summer Northwestern Alumni Association picnic in a park in Arlington. I met someone who graduated from Medill in 1989, and we talked up a storm after discovering we have a friend in common who lives in Minnesota. We also gave some advice to an incoming Medill student. Drew took Rachel to her swim lesson and I went in to work. All in all, it was a very busy weekend!

Cinderella

Rachel has read many, many versions of Cinderella, all differently (but beautifully) illustrated. After Drew checked out what seemed to be the 3,498th version, he said, "Why are you so obsessed with Cinderella?"

"Stop it, Daddy!" Rachel said. "I find it a very compelling story."

Nothing much more he could say after that.

Vacation!

Two weeks since we got back from Oregon, and everything has been in a whirlwind with the end of summer and beginning of school. Here is a recap of our vacation:

--We arrived on Friday, Aug. 8, 90 minutes after our scheduled arrival time (thanks, United!) and then the rental-car place said they didn't have a car seat (even after Drew confirmed they would the day before). When the guy asked if she could sit in a baby seat, Drew just exploded: "Have you ever seen a CHILD before?" He finally borrowed one from another rental-car place and we were on our way. Result: We didn't get to our hotel and into bed until 1:30 a.m. Pacific Time, 4:30 a.m. East Coast Time. Did that faze Rachel at all? NO. The only hint of annoyance was when she muttered softly, "grumble grumble grumble," at one point. She is a GREAT travel companion.

--On Saturday we hit the Portland Farmers Market -- got a bunch of fruit, ate lunch from the food carts and had Ruby Jewel ice cream sandwiches, then met Rachel's friend Devin from preschool and Devin's mom, Linda (her husband, Jim, was completing the purchase of a new Volvo). We went to Linda and Jim's, and I watched the girls dress up and watch TV while Linda went to help Jim with the car purchase and Drew bought cupcakes at our favorite cupcake place, St. Cupcake, to bring to our friend Amy's that night for dinner. We all had about 45 minutes to catch up before we had to head over to Amy's -- and we all agreed that the visit was too short. Perhaps next year we can visit them at their vacation place in Bend. Then we went to Amy's house, and Rachel played with her sons Tony and Jake in their newly built treehouse while Amy and I caught up. We went back to our hotel to get a good night's sleep before the next day, when we planned to head to the Coast.

--On Sunday we had a quick breakfast and then a change of plan -- instead of heading to Florence, on the southern part of the Oregon Coast, we headed north to Cannon Beach. On the way we stopped for lunch and a tour of the Tillamook Cheese Factory (and ice cream, of course!) then spent the afternoon on surprisingly warm Cannon Beach -- the water was mild enough for walking in, if not swimming. By the time we got off the beach the clouds had rolled in and it was freezing, so we waited at a nearby hotel, the Tolovana Inn, for Drew to bring the car around. On the way to dinner at a place overlooking the ocean, we stopped by the side of the road and picked as many blackberries as we could from a bush growing wild. After dinner we headed back to our hotel. It was possibly the most perfect day of vacation.

--On Monday Drew took Rachel to Powell's (where against my wishes, they bought several books), while I met a colleague from The Post at Screen Door, a Southern-food restaurant I had always wanted to try when we lived there, but there was always a line (and the food wasn't even that good, I regret to say). They picked me up in the afternoon and then we got more cupcakes to bring to our friends Jeff and Erica (and their daughter, Sunny, who is Rachel's age and one of her few Jewish friends in Portland). They grilled burgers and corn, and the girls insisted on putting on a show for us (and Rachel dressed up in a green sequined dress that took my breath away). We stayed way too late, but it was a joy to catch up with them as they ponder whether to stay in PDX or move somewhere else for better job opportunities for Jeff, an insurance compliance specialist. Rachel had an especially good time playing with their guinea pig, Sir Cuddles.

--On Tuesday we stopped at a new donut place, Blue Star donuts, for breakfast treats for Anne and David, and then I noticed a shoe shop that sold children's Keens, so I bought a pair for Rachel (no sales tax, I might add). Then we got our last batch of cupcakes and headed to the Columbia River Gorge to show Rachel Vista House (where you get a great view of the Columbia), and Bridal Veil and Multnomah Falls (where my camera decided to stop working -- boo!). We got to Anne and David's quite late, but they were very forgiving and immediately whipped up salmon and rice (and oohed and aahed over the donuts and cupcakes).

--On Wednesday we thought of going to Lake Samammish, but the weather was terrible -- it rained and thundered most of the day, and Rachel was so terrified at one point that she brought her entire suitcase and book bag's worth of stuff downstairs because she was scared that a hurricane would destroy the house (she had gotten that idea into her head after hearing Anne say that the storm was very unusual -- and so, Rachel had assumed that this meant the End Times; poor kid!). We all ended up reading and taking naps while Drew went into Seattle (in the hail, at one point) to meet up with former colleagues from the Seattle Times. On the way back he stopped at Top Pot donuts and the guy gave him 6 free because it was so close to closing time. We had dinner that night with Ron Wiener, 2nd cousin to me, and it was great to meet him -- he is a super-nice guy and at one point turned to Rachel and said, "Is it legal in D.C. for kids to be as cute as you are?" Next time we hope to meet his family and spend more time together.

--On Thursday we went to Lake Sammamish. It was hot outside -- 85 or so -- but not humid. I went in the lake with Rachel three times and the water was cold but refreshing. The rest of the time I read and lay in the sun. I walked back to the car with my bathing suit top on and my towel wrapped around my waist, thinking how much I love being able to walk around in a bathing suit in hot (but not unbearable weather). I whipped up dinner that night -- mustard chicken and popovers -- and they turned out pretty okay.

--On Friday we headed back to Portland for a very early flight out on Saturday. We stopped at Pike Place and met Amanda and Jenn for lunch, then headed south to get to Kenny & Zuke's, our favorite Portland deli, right before they closed, and managed to squeeze in a visit to Ben & Jerry's ice cream for dessert. We were staying at a Holiday Inn close to the airport, so after a few hours' sleep, it was up and out to our plane. Never did Rachel whine or crab about the early hour -- it helped that the flights out and back were nonstop -- and when we got home, we ate dinner at our favorite Lebanese place and gelato at a nearby pizza place -- all for a soft landing back home.

Another side of Sidney

Last weekend we told Rachel about how men and women sometimes like to shower together as a romantic thing to do. She thought it was completely disgusting and couldn't believe that we (and any other couple) would want to do something like that.

Then she remembered something. She told us separately that Sidney was scrolling through her mom's iPad and came across a picture of her mom and her dad kissing in the shower (I assume it was an above-the-neck shot) and started crying.

"Why do you think she started crying?" I asked carefully.

"Because she's upset that her mom and her dad aren't together anymore," Rachel replied.

She said she and Simone were present when Sidney came across the picture and that they tried to comfort her as best they could. I need to remember this whenever I get frustrated with or appalled by Sidney's behavior.

Summer Laureates

At the end of Summer Laureates, Rachel's three-week enrichment program in July, the teacher, Ms. Van Hook (the one who had told me the disturbing news about Sydney), gave out progress reports for each of the students. Hers for Rachel read:

--Successfully responded to the fact pace of challenging instruction
--Displayed creativity
--Was inquisitive about various topics
--Successfully completely research/projects
--Was self-directed; was independent
--Participated cooperatively in group activities

Rachel got 5s (the highest) in all categories.

The teacher wrote: "Rachel has shown great enthusiasm for learning throughout the Summer Laureate program. She demonstrated understanding of natural and man-made flight and was already ready to participate! It was a pleasure getting to know her."

We were very pleased.

Swimming! A new bike!

We FINALLY took Rachel to get her new bike, a big-girl Trek, from Grandma and Grandpa for Rachel's 7th birthday (thank you, Grandma and Grandpa!). The bike is a little big and it has grown-up gears, so it took quite a while for her to get the hang of it, and at one point, after the bike had fallen on her, she started sobbing and said, "I'll NEVER be able to do this!" I had to lift her up in my arms and remind her that she said the same thing, too, when we took the training wheels off and when she was learning how to swim. She seemed only slightly comforted. It really is a big bike, heavier than her current one, and she'll have to figure out how to brake gently and hop off in one fluid motion. I promised her that she'd be able to do it, it'll just take practice, and so the next few Fridays we're in town, I'll pick her up early from camp and we'll practice on the trail near our house. If it isn't too bloody hot and humid.

Afterward, we headed to Charon's country club; she invited us for a swim today, and we arrived before she did and immediately jumped in, Rachel and I. Rachel is getting quite brave; she jumped off the diving board a couple of times and made me do the same;  I had forgotten how fun that was. She and I horsed around for a while; then she and Cameron went and played in the water while Charon and I ordered drinks and talked; then I went back in with Rachel to play in the water and Charon joined us; then I got in a half-mile of swimming in the lap portion of the pool while Drew took Rachel for a hot dog. All in all, it was a great afternoon.

Then we went to FDB for dinner and frozen custard. I've decided their food is pretty awful but the custard is GREAT. Rachel insisted that she wasn't going to eat my ice cream (she just wanted a chocolate waffle cone), but I kept offering her some and she kept saying, "thank you, Mom," and took a few bites before ultimately refusing. She was also reluctant to let our waitress know that she brought her the wrong type of waffle cone ("I don't want to be picky," Rachel said, embarrassed, and Drew reassured her it was okay to let them know that they didn't bring what she wanted; she still looked a bit chagrined. Reassuring to know that she shows no signs of being a restaurant prima donna). Finally she got the right cone, shared my ice cream, and Drew got a chocolate malt, so all turned out well. Really, it was a lovely day.

A disturbing conversation

On Friday, Rachel's last day at Summer Laureates, I asked her teacher, Miss Van Hook (she teaches first grade at Glebe Elementary), how Rachel had done.

Her face dropped and she said: "Sydney." And then I got an earful.

It seems that she was mean to Rachel for the entire three weeks -- saying hurtful, mean things, and Rachel would say hurtful, mean things back -- and then the next minute they'd be best friends again. "This is the kind of thing you don't see until middle school," Miss Van Hook said. She told me just how much a terror Sydney had been -- stealing other kids' stuff, pinning the kids physically against each other, scribbling all over other kids' projects, dumping glue in the middle of a group project, then crying and acting as if someone else did it (but the other kids made sure that Miss Van Hook knew that it was Sydney's fault), etc. And then came the most chilling revelation: "She doesn't show any remorse," Miss Van Hook said. She added that she has written Sydney's parents, telling them all this, "but there's a limited amount that I can do, because I don't have standing. I only have them for three weeks."

I quizzed her extensively about the situation. She told me that it wasn't affecting Rachel's ability and desire to learn: "She's a very bright kid, and she's always ready to work," and that she seemed to recover very quickly from Sydney's abusive behavior. I explained that we had encouraged Rachel to be friends with Sydney in kindergarten even though Sydney was mean -- we thought we could influence her with kindness -- and how Sydney follows Rachel everywhere and wants to do everything she does. I also said that Sydney's mom put her in Summer Laureates because she knew Rachel was going to be there and she wanted Sydney to have a friend. "She doesn't fit the profile of the typical kid here," Miss Van Hook said, and Drew told me last night that he was sure that Sydney's teacher wouldn't recommend her for the program -- but apparently did.

I also told Miss Van Hook that the McKinley guidance counselor had brushed off her behavior saying, "Sidney's one of my characters," and saying that she would go to Sidney's class and talk to everyone about the importance of being nice and how to keep friendships, in the hope that Sidney would somehow internalize the message. I thought that was an inadequate response at the time, and Miss Van Hook agreed. She recommended that she and Rachel not be in the same class together, and Drew called McKinley Friday afternoon to get the principal's assurance that they would in fact be separated. Although, as Miss Van Hook noted, they may end up together even more during recess if they don't see each other during the day.

The whole conversation made me extremely upset. I think Sydney's behavior is reprehensible and I don't see her parents doing anything to curb it, based on the interaction I see between her and her mother -- but I don't know what goes on in that household so I can't judge. All I can see is that, as I told Miss Van Hook, she lashes out at Rachel because Rachel is smart, she's pretty, she has lots of friends and two parents who love her, like each other and actually sit down for dinner during the week and do fun things together. So maybe it's jealousy. In any case, if she does anything to physically or mentally hurt Rachel in a real and lasting way, she will be hearing from Drew AND from me -- and it won't be pretty.