A bad morning

I didn't get much sleep Tuesday night because I was preparing for two interviews Wednesday, plus a talk my editor that would determine whether I'd get through the holidays stress-free or as a crazy woman trying to finish a magazine cover story.

Bottom line: I was really cranky with Drew and Rachel, who stomped off after I told her to comb her hair, or something, and I was very cold to her on the way to school. I told her that that behavior was not acceptable, that I was exhausted but that I'd mad the effort to get up earlier than I'd wanted and walk her to school. "Got it?" I snarled.

She replied that she was still angry at me for the previous night, when I didn't let her read this blog because she really need to get to bed. I reminded her that I'd told her when we got home from dinner with Nicole and Sydney that she needed to go right to bed, no reading, no fooling around, and then she said, "but you said that was just about homework," meaning that after dinner, she would do homework and go right to bed, but she ended up doing her homework in the car. "Don't parse my words, Rachel!" I yelled. Then she started crying and said, "I like to read the blog because it's INTERESTING!" and that finally moved my implacably cranky heart, and I reached down and hugged her, and promised that I'd let her read some entries from when she was 3 years old, after I pick her up early on Friday (and we make flourless peanut-butter cookies for her sleepover with Sydney. At which time, Drew and I plan to go out for dessert and see an actual MOVIE).

By the time we reached school, she was fine, but I still felt awful. The interviews went fine, and my editor, to my great relief, said I need to do more reporting on the story and there's no deadline yet -- "You don't have a gun to your head," were her actual words, which made me very happy. I ended up calling home during a break at work and apologizing again to Rachel, who said -- as she always does -- "It's okay, Mommy."

I hope she remembers more of the cuddly fun times than the times Mom was cranky and stressed out.