Sloppy speech

Betcha don't know why I don't have a Joisey accent, do ya? It's because Mom spent years -- and I mean YEARS -- correcting me when I'd say things like, "I kee-ant," instead of "I cahn't." She called it "sloppy speech" and let it be known that she considered it vulgar and low-class. Just because my friends and everyone else in Hackensack talked that way didn't mean her kids were going to, too.

It drove me crazy (and I suspect it drove her barking mad, as well), but boy did it pay off in the end. The reason I don't sound low-class and vulgar and that no one can figure out where I'm from is because Mom did all that work on the front end.

So, I've noticed that Rachel has started to say, "I kee-ant." And I have started to say, "No, Rachel, I cahn't."

So our conversations in the car go something like this:

"I kee-ant."
"No, Rachel, I cahn't."
"I kee-ant!"
"I cahn't."

You get the idea.

I've told Rachel that Grandma used to correct Mommy when she was little and called it "sloppy speech" when she said certain things certain ways, but I think the explanation is lost on her. All that registers, I'm sure, is that Mommy is being a persnickety pain in the a--. Oh, it's only going to get worse. I feel sorry for her already.