She's growing up, Part 685

Drew was all set to teach Rachel logic last night after he pointed out a fire truck passing them by on the way to school.

"Is the fire truck coming or going to the fire?" he asked Rachel.
"Coming from the fire," she answered.
"Why?" he asked.
"Because the lights aren't on," she said patiently.

Well, so much for that, Drew thought -- he had thought he'd need to explain how you could tell whether a fire truck was coming or going to a fire. Looks like she figured it out herself! "Yep, my days of being an all-knowing oracle are pretty limited now," Drew said just now. "Let's see if I can make it to kindergarten."

***

"Chewables, Mommy!" Rachel exclaimed today. Chewables are the fluoride vitamins she takes because this city is too shortsighted to fluoridate its water. She reminds me at breakfast that she needs to take them. We love that she is able to chew and swallow vitamins. We also love that she made it through last night WITH NO DIAPER! She asked to wear underwear to bed which we allowed her to do after extracting a promise that she wouldn't pee in her crib. (Of course if she does we'll just change her jammies and sheets; no big deal). We are weeks away from a big-girl bed. How time flies!

***

"Mommy, you're smaller than Daddy," Rachel said at breakfast today.
"Yes, I am," I answered evenly (although my height is a sore point; I wish I were taller so Drew couldn't make fun of me for being little!).
"You're kinda tiny," Rachel said. I protested that I'M NOT SMALL, and then she and Drew ganged up on me by insisting that I'm little, and we all collapsed into laughter and Rachel yelled, "Family hug!!!" and we all buried each other in hugs and kisses.

A lovely Saturday

Our friend Anne came over for dinner tonight. Her visit culminated a frantic day of de-cluttering by me and Rachel's last swim lesson and a visit to the farmer's market with Drew (it's their Saturday routine; they get lunch at the market and listen to music and eat cookies together companioably. This allows me to get work done at home). Today I didn't work on any writing projects; I used the time to clean off the dining room table, which has been a war zone since before our tenants left. Drew finally moved his computer and all the rest of his work stuff downstairs to his office, where it belongs, and I cleared off the rest of the papers and filed them or threw them away. I also almost entirely cleared out my mail slot of magazines and catalogues. Bottom line: Our house looks normal now, although one of these days I want to tackle our outdated office files and Rachel's toy box, which holds toys she hasn't played with in months. To say nothing of printing all my digital photos and putting them in an album, and finally resolving whether to keep or toss my maternity clothes....

Anyway, we grilled steaks with anchovy butter spread on top; corn; salad and a berry cobbler that cooled on the counter while we ate dinner. Rachel was in a pissy mood and wanted us to read books to her outside, but Drew said no. When she started pouting, he said we are all going to eat dinner and she could join us if she wanted, but we weren't going to stay outside. She started crying a little, but we just started our dinner and she came in to join us -- and proceeded to eat STEAK!! A LOT OF IT!! (Her limited palate seems to be expanding by the day!!!) She finished her dinner quickly, asked to be excused and then proceeded to practice drawing letters on these letter cards that Drew brought back from New York (a genius gift on his part). She'd draw a letter, then run to show Anne, then Drew, then me, then start the process all over again. It was beyond adorable.

Anne always brings a gift for Rachel when she comes over; today it was a package of miniature horsies. Rachel played with them in the living room while we finished up dinner, and when it was time to go to bed she went up to Anne and said, unbidden and very nicely, "Thank you for givign me the horsies. And thank you for giving me the horsie puzzle last time." I was so impressed, and then touched when she came over to my chair and hugged me while clutching three of her stuffed animals. So what that she didn't get to bed until 10? She's a fabulous addition to a dinner party.

Knuffle Bunny Free

Tia Daniella introduced us to Knuffle Bunny, a wonderful book about a little girl named Trixie who lives in Brooklyn and goes everywhere with her stuffed rabbit, Knuffle Bunny. Until one day she forgets it at the Laundromat and chaos ensues...it's a great book with beautiful pictures of Park Slope, and we enjoy it so much that during one of the Borders clear-out sales, Drew swooped in and bought all the Knuffle Bunny books (apparently there are three, and the last one is called Knuffle Bunny Three).

Knuffle Bunny Three is about when Trixie is a girl of about 5 or 6, and she takes Knuffle Bunny on the plane to visit Oma and Opa in Holland...and then leaves the bunny on the plane, which then heads toward China. She's sad until one night she dreams about all the kids around the world who get to play with Knuffle Bunny. Then she's happy, and on the plane home she finds Knuffle Bunny in a flap behind the seat and decides to give it to a baby who's wailing behind her because she realizes she doesn't need Knuffle Bunny anymore. She eventually gets a letter from the baby's family.

As if that's not enough to inspire tears...at the very end of the book is a love letter to Trixie from her Daddy (i.e, from author Mo Willems to his daughter, upon whom the character of Trixie is based) that says he hopes he lives long enough to see her graduate from college, fall in love, get married and have a baby of her own...and the two times I've read the book to Rachel I burst into tears and ended up sobbing.

"Why are you crying, Mommy?" Rachel asked last night.

I really couldn't put it into words. I guess it's the inevitability of her growing up and going away from us, and then us realizing that that part of our lives -- the child-bearing and child-rearing part -- wil be over. It feels like Rachel is suddenly growing up too fast (after all the whining I did when she was a baby and I couldn't stand the endless crying and sleepless nights) and it's bittersweet watching her become more and more independent each day. It's the cycle of life, I guess -- my parents and Drew's parents went through it, and we will go through it, and Rachel, if she is blessed with a child, will go through it herself. It blows my mind that I never realized there was this whole well of emotions that come with being a parent that I couldn't even imagine if I didn't have a kid of my own. I'm so lucky I get to be a parent.

I ended up pleading with Rachel, "can I help you take care of your babies someday?"

"Yes," she replied generously.

Then I looked at her and croaked, "Rachel, please believe that you can always come home to Mommy and Daddy, OK? We will always be here for you."

I don't think it really registered. But maybe she'll remember.

Free associating

On Tuesday after jury duty, Drew took Rachel to Grant Park and...miracle of miracles...SHE PETTED A DOGGIE! It was a dachshund, and she told me all about it at dinner. "I petted a doggie, Mommy!' she said proudly. Hopefully it's the first step toward her getting more comfortable with dogs in this dog-obsessed city.

We spent most of post-dinner table talk cracking up. Actually, Rachel was the one laughing. We started out by her pretending to give us ice cream (Drew ordered chocolate, and when I tried to order chocolate, too, she announced that it was all gone because Daddy had eaten it all. So, I got rainbow flavor). Then Drew pretended to be an ice cream man, and when Rachel asked what flavors he had, he said...

"Smelly feet!"
"YUUCK!" Rachel and Mommy said, laughing.
"What else do you have?" Rachel said.
"Umm...how about...BROCCOLI ice cream?" Drew said.
"YUUCK!" Rachel and Mommy said, laughing.

And so on. It was hilarious to listen to Rachel cracking up; she has such an infectious laugh. Too bad that in a few short years she will be much harder to amuse.

***

As Drew and Rachel were driving over the Hawthorne Bridge (Rachel is beginning to recognize which bridges are which in Portland), Drew said, "that's the river, sweetie!"

No doubt remembering that Madeline liked to play on the bridges in Paris, Rachel said, "Is that Paris?"

I guess she missed me...

Tonight as I was nagging her to eat a carrot (yes, I've become that parent who nags their kid to eat their vegetables), Rachel looked at me and said, "I love you, Mommy. I'm glad you're back from Vermont."

Even though I figured it was probably a stall tactic (so I'd forget about the damn carrot and give her dessert, which I did NOT end up doing), I was still touched.

"Why, thank you, Rachel!" I said. "I'm glad I'm back too."

***

Trenchant observation from my daughter tonight as we headed home from the playground and she finished gulping a whole bunch of water from the water bottle:

"Water is good for your brain, Mom."

I couldn't agree more.

Rachel's other life, Part 2

This morning on the way in to preschool, Rachel referred to her "other house."

Me: Where's your other house, Rachel?
Rachel: Southwest.
Me: And what does it look like?
Rachel: A man. But without a face.
Me: What color is your house?
Rachel: Black.
Me: How many bedrooms does your house have?
Rachel: One.
Me: Where does everyone sleep?
Rachel: Peya sleeps on the couch, the babies sleep in the bedroom and I sleep on the floor.

***

Latest she has learned at preschool:

"I see London, I see France, I see Mommy's underpants!" and "Capeesh. That means, 'really'?""
"Capeesh?" I exclaimed tonight. "Who taught you that? Daddy?"
"No," she said, "I learned it at school.
Figures. Sigh.

Back in!!!

This is a big day, folks. I FINALLY figured out how to get back into the blog. I was locked out because we switched to Google Mail at work and I can't figure out how to simultaneously manage two accounts and blah blah blah who cares? The point is, I haven't been lazy, only frustrated.

So, to catch up on The Little Girl's doings:

This morning I took her to preschool while Drew had jury duty. As I was getting her dressed, she lifted up my dress and chanted, "I see London! I see France! I see Mommy's underpants!"

"Rachel, please don't grow up!" I implored her today.

"But I need to open doors," she replied equably.

She has been very good about letting us drop her off at school without a fuss. Yesterday when Drew did the honors she said, "Look! I'm not fussing and crying!" And today she said to me, "Hug and kiss, Mommy!" and then went off to play with her little friends.

***

I was gone last week at a conference in Vermont, and Drew took care of Rachel the entire week. Some highlights:

Wednesday, during a phone call to me: "Mommy, when are you coming HOME??"

At preschool, to Lila's mommy: "My mommy's in Vermont the WHOLE WEEK!"

Saturday, after her swim lesson: "Mommy! I can swim ALL BY MYSELF! I was kicking and splashing!"

Sunday, as I told her I was getting on the plane: "Will you land in Portland?"

Later Sunday, to Drew: "When Mommy comes back she's not going to leave forever and ever. Nobody's going to throw my Mommy away. If they try to throw my Mommy away, they can't come to my house."