Sleepover list

Here is a list of things that Rachel drew up for what she and Valerie planned for their sleepover:

Sleepover to Do List
1. Pillow Fights
2. Karaoke
e. Dress Up
4. Movie (maybe)
5. Makeovers
6. Reading
7. Snacks
8. Talking
9. Games
10. Electronics (I was pleased to see this halfway down the list and not first)
11. Dancing
12. Music
13. Drawing
14. Hairstyling
15. Maybe Sleeping
16. Laughing Ha ha ha!
17. Blanket forts
18. Obtacle courses
19. Gymnastics
20. Nail Polish
21. Watch TV

I think they did most of it.

Fourth of July!

We had a fantastic 4th of July celebration, filled with family -- PopPop, Tia Daniella, Darryl and Valerie joined us. Some highlights:

--Tia Daniella, Darryl and Valerie arrived on Saturday night and we met them at Capital Brewing Company, a great restaurant and brewpub that we like. The girls were very cute, saying "please" and "thank you" as they ordered, and generally charming the waiter.

--On Monday, I was interviewed by Wisconsin Pubic Radio for a story I wrote in June about efforts to write LGBT people into American history. Before then, PopPop, Daniella, Darryl, Valerie, Drew and Rachel and I went to the American History Museum because it threatened rain. Afterward, I met them in time to grab a quick dinner (in the rain) and watch the fireworks (in the fog, and the view wasn't so great because the lights were obscured and the ground was too wet to sit). One of these holidays, we will have the perfect weather we had in 2014, when we sat on a blanket near the Reflecting Pool and watched the fireworks unobstructed. That night, the girls had their first sleepover at our house.

--On Tuesday, PopPop, Daniella, Darryl, Valerie, Rachel and I visited Uncle Dan. We brought a pizza and salad, and we spent four hours sitting and talking and catching up. (Daniella said she wished we had had more time together.) It was really a great visit, and Dan seemed happy to see us. That night, we went out with Richard and Drew, and the girls had their second sleepover.

--On Wednesday, Daniella and Darryl came to pick Valerie up and we said our goodbyes -- but not before the girls had a chance to paint downstairs and Valerie played in the backyard to take a break from the TV show they were watching -- it may have been "Teen Titans."

Anyway, the girls had a great time.

Last day of school

School runs quite late here, and it wasn't until Friday, June 24, that Rachel was finally done.

I volunteered to bring over sidewalk chalk and help supervise games at Madison Manor Park, which is within walking distance of our house, where the entire 2nd-grade class was having its end-of-year party. When I arrived at my designated time, about 11 p.m., any effort at organization had deteriorated. Kids were wheeling each other around in a little red wagon, hanging out on the play structure, playing with soccer balls in the field.

Rachel was upset that all the other kids had had their turn in the wagon and Sydney wanted to pull her around in it. No one was letting that happen, and so she came to me, teary-eyed and whining a bit that "It's not FAIR!" Having just dealt with the Sydney issue, I didn't want to barge in and insist that the other kids give Rachel a turn. So I looked at her and said, "FIGHT FOR IT!"

I walked away to talk to a parent, and later saw that Sydney and Rachel had prevailed and that Sydney was pushing her around.

The best part was when Rachel came up to me afterward and said, "Thanks, Mom. That was good advice." I was floored.

Father's Day!

We had a wonderful Father's Day visit with Grandma and Grandpa.

I met them for dinner on Thursday night before the weekend, and then on Friday we toured Arlington National Cemetery. (I had been before, but walked only a bit of it, to John F. Kennedy's grave -- only to find out it was closed for repairs. This was soon after we arrived in D.C. in 2013.)

Mom, Dad and I ended up taking a tour on wheels -- and, man, did we see and learn a lot. The weather was perfect, just like summer in Oregon, and it was longer and more informative than I thought it would be. So glad that we got to see the cemetery that way.

That night they came over for roast lamb, popovers and a berry tart. We all had a great time talking and laughing.

On Saturday, we toured Hillwood Gardens, the home and gardens of Marjorie Merriweather Post, which I had deliberately not done until I could see it with them. Rachel was somewhat impressed with the lavish interior -- Post was quite a collector -- and then we had a great time touring the outside. Rachel really impressed Drew and me with her insistence on pushing Grandma's wheelchair, holding her purse when needed, etc. It's as if she grew into the role of junior caregiver by knowing instinctively that she had to step up. What can I say? It was astonishing to watch.

We had arranged for a babysitter Saturday night, which Rachel was very happy about -- she occasionally urges us to go out on dates -- and then Mom, Dad, Drew and I went to the Oval Room, a fancy restaurant near the White House, and then back to Arlington to Buzz Bakery, our favorite cupcake place. It was great fun insisting that Mom and Dad take cupcakes back to NY with them.

On Sunday we met them for a Father's Day brunch at the hotel. Rachel wore a very grown-up maxi-length tie-dye dress and sandals, and snuggled in Drew's arms for most of the brunch. Then we said our goodbyes, with Rachel pushing Grandma in her wheelchair yet again.

Altogether, it was a lovely weekend.

End-of-year report card

Here is what Rachel's teachers had to say:

--Ms. Burke: It was a pleasure watching Rachel learn and grow this year in second grade! She has shown great growth both academically and socially. She is very responsible and always eager to learn. Rachel is reading above grade level and successfully participated in literature circles. While I know she is a voracious reader, please continue to encourage her to read independently over the summer. Rachel demonstrated mastery of second grade math concepts and showed an improvement in her perseverance when given challenging material. She also learned the basics of multiplication as well as various strategies for solving multiplication problems. This is a skill that students are expected to master in third grade, so practicing her times tables up to 5's over the summer would be a great way to keep those skills fresh. Rachel had a great end to a wonderful year and I have no doubt that she will continue to thrive in third grade!

--Mr. Aubrey (phys. ed): Rachel worked well with her peers this quarter. She was creative and competitive during our Bean Bag Bocce unit. I look forward to watching her improvement next year.

--M. Mautawalli (art): Rachel is doing a wonderful job in art class expressing herself effectively. I really liked the tin can flower pot Rachel created in art class.

Sydney, Part 2

So, while I was still upset over the whole Sydney/end-of-the-year party incident, Rachel did something that I thought was pretty remarkable.

She told Sydney, or Sydney somehow found out, that Simone would, in fact, be coming to her party. She demanded of Rachel, "Why did you invite her?"

"I didn't invite her, my mom did," Rachel said.

"Tell her not to do that!" Sydney said.

"No," Rachel replied. "Simone is my friend."

"Oh, FINE," Sydney apparently said, and stomped off.

That kid is headed for "mean girl" status in middle school, if not before, and I find it extremely difficult to be pleasant to her these days (although I must say that the few times she's been in the house, she is noticeably more polite that she used to be. Probably because she senses that Drew and I just will not put up with bullshit). I just hope that Rachel won't stick with her or put up with abuse because of loyalty. But her standing up for herself was a good start.

A conversation with Ms. Burke

So, I was so upset about what had happened with Sydney and Simone that I ended up talking with Ms. Burke about it. (In addition, Kelly, the mom of one of Rachel's friends, Libby, had mentioned that Rachel and Sydney seemed to spend all their time together and that she tried to separate them at Brownie meetings because they were monopolizing each other. And, more disturbingly, that Sydney was unfriendly to Kelly and that Rachel, when she was in Sydney's company, was unfriendly, too. Kelly said that it seemed that a cloud had come over Rachel this year, which I pegged to Sydney's influence.)

Ms. Burke, who is something like 26, said she would talk to her mom, who is also a teacher, about how she had kept her daughter away from girls who were bad influences in middle school. But she clearly remembers that there was one girl that her mother forbade her to have sleepovers with (even though, Ms. Burke acknowledged, she probably could have handled the situation on her own and her father would have okayed the sleepovers because he wasn't really aware of what was going on).

She also, much to my relief, said she would recommend against Rachel and Sydney being placed in the same third-grade class next year. Drew and I plan to write a letter to the principal reinforcing that next month, just to be sure.

Sydney

At the annual McKinley auction, Drew and I successfully bid on some free passes to Flight, bounce house about an hour away. We told Rachel that she could invite three friends, and she chose Sydney, Simone and Kennedy. She said she'd take care of asking all three.

A few nights before the event, we asked Rachel who was coming. She said that Simone had declined because she has a free pass to Flight and could go anytime. That seemed odd to me, especially since I had told Simone's dad, Larry, about the party during the botanic gardens field trip. (Simone has a lot of activities and family things, so it's hard to catch her for a playdate, and I was especially interested in her coming to this one.)

I emailed Larry about Simone's refusal and he said that seemed odd to him, too.

I came to learn that what happened was that Sydney had expressed displeasure about Simone coming, and Simone heard about it and said she didn't care. When Drew and I finally got that out of Rachel, I was absolutely livid. I told Rachel in no uncertain terms that from now on, Mom and Dad would be in charge of invitations. Then I marched into the study, called Larry and just plunged in: I explained the confusion, apologized for it and said we would LOVE to have Simone come. I ended up planning the timing around an event Simone had to go to the day of the party.

Larry mentioned that it was sad that Sydney was being a "mean girl" and trying to get the other kids to bend to her will, and I agreed -- and grimly resolved to myself that I would never let this happen again.

Class blog

Yes, Rachel's class had its own blog this year. Here is what Rachel posted in mid-June:

I have never ever posted!!! I wonder why Ms. Burke doesn't let us use emojis??? Hmm. I'll come back to that one. READ THIS POST RIGHT NOW!!

She also reads news-o-metic, a news site for kids, on her iPad regularly. She calls it "my favorite app EVER."

This is why we were able to have a very lucid and enlightening conversation with her about Brexit. She knew it was about immigration, that it involved England, etc. etc. It really is a pleasure to have conversations with her at the dinner table these days.

Weekend in the city

The weekend before Father's Day, we decided to go into the District. It was Rachel's suggestion to see the Jefferson Memorial, and we decided to take a paddleboat out, too.

Luckily our boat had a canopy because it was BEASTLY hot outside. We really had a great time paddling on the Potomac. Rachel started out with Drew, but quickly got tired and asked to rest. So I switched seats with her and paddled as far as the middle of the river, then turned around to go back. I thought I'd want two hours on the water, but I quickly got tired and realized that one hour was enough.

Then we walked to the Jefferson Memorial and explored the statue and the museum downstairs. On the way back, we walked past the FDR Memorial and then the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial. But that time, Rachel and I had insisted that we wanted a snack (we had bought water with us, but quickly ran out -- and we'd had a late, big breakfast and hadn't planned for lunch).

Well, the snack bars run by the National Park Service close at 6, and the closest Metro was the Arlington National Cemetery one -- and, boy, was it a hot, ugly, uncomfortable slog back. Poor Rachel was practically dead by the time we got to the Metro, but she really kept her complaining to a minimum (and apologized that she hadn't done better when I praised her for keeping her chin up).

We decided to go to Pupatella, a local pizza place, for dinner, and then got ice cream -- FINALLY -- at Carvel. Great topping to an exhausting day.

A note to Mom and Dad

Rachel wrote this to us about a month before her birthday:

Dear mom & Dad, I know you will proboly say no to this but can I redecorate my room? PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEESE say yes! If you do, on your right is what my room likes like now, on your Left is what I want my room to look like. I hope you say yes!!

Your responsible & Loving daughter,
Rachel

P.S I also want to turn the wheel thing by my desk Into a...Nightstand!

An autobiographical poem

Rachel and her classmates were assigned to write autobiographical poems in class. Here is what she had to say:

Rachel DeSilver
smart, funny, caring
Daughter of Drew and Lisa
Who loves Books. chocolete and cupcakes
Who feels passanite about The mets
Who needs a good Book, friends, and more chocolete
Who gives Hugs, Smiles, and laughs
Who fears Tornados, Hurricanes and Brussul Sprouts
Who'd like to see the great wall of china
Who dreams of traveling the world
A student of Ms. burke
Rachel

Outdoor Shabbat

Our new synagogue here does what our old synagogue in Portland used to do -- holds services outside. On June 10 they had a "Hot Shabbat" service with fajitas, adult beverages and drinks for the kids, a bounce house, and a service in a wooded part of the property. We went last year, but it rained as we were eating and so they moved the service to a part of the property that was covered by an awning.

This year, the weather cooperated. Rachel disappeared into the bounce house after we arrived, then ate only a tiny portion of chicken and then disappeared again. I started getting upset, anxious and angry and then decided I'd just have faith that we'd find each other. Sure enough, we did, and we set up our seats within reasonable distance of the service. Rachel went off to explore part of a creek with some other kids, but came back and sat next to me toward the end.

I took a few photos of her sitting next to me, her rapt, glowing face taking in everything around her. It was a lovely night, not too hot or buggy, and I thanked God that we were there, in the moment, enjoying the relaxing night.

Eventually Drew showed up and took Rachel off to play while I lingered. As it got dark the bugs came out, and we collected up the chairs and then chased Rachel near the bounce house. It really was a magical evening.

Field trip!

The last field trip of Rachel's school year was to the National Botanic Gardens in D.C. on June 8. (It had been scheduled for a week earlier, from 10 a.m. to noon, and all the parent chaperones got there...only to find that NO ONE HAD ORDERED THE BUSES, so we had to turn around and go home. I ended coming back and taking a nap because I had gotten up extra early after working a late shift the night before.)

Anyway, I carpooled in with the same group of moms. Rachel and three of her classmates and I had to go around and identify their favorite plants/flowers, the tallest, the shortest, etc. I told everyone to stay close to me but of course they all ran ahead, and for a while I thought I'd lost them for good. I was upset, and seeing my distress Rachel chased all of them down and was VERY STERN with them. I had to take her aside and say that it wasn't her job to tell them what the rules were; it was my job, and I should have outlined the rules at the beginning. One of the kids, Olivia, annoyed me to no end by trying to nail me down on exactly how far away she could be from me -- a foot length? Arms length? I finally told her that I thought she was smart enough to figure out that she needed to stay close by and that I would refused to give her an exact length. Since there were only 15 minutes left at that point, she managed to follow my directions.

We all had a picnic on the lawn, and Rachel really wanted me to play tag with her classmates. I said no. She was also upset when I wouldn't hang out at the nearby fountain with her because the kids were gathering at another place to take a group photo. "Well, if you don't want to spend time with me, FINE," she said, stomping off.

I guess that in a couple of years, it's ME who'll be saying that. Sigh.

Turner turns 1

Our across-the-street neighbors, both of them, had kids within the past year. Margo and Turner were born within a few months of each other. Turner's birthday party was June 4, and after a morning family bike ride, Rachel and I dropped in to see the birthday boy.

He was sooooo cute -- Rachel drops everything at a "Turner sighting" and races outside to say hello -- and she hung around him as much as she could. At one point his parents told her to move aside so they could take photos of him eating (smooshing) his birthday cake with a single candle in it. He was so neat; he barely made a mess. Rachel meanwhile, wandered around his house and, apparently, talked to several adults there. One of them came up to me as we were about to leave and said, "Your daughter is so friendly and...(she searched for a word)...well behaved."

"Thank you!" I said. "We work hard on that."

Gifted

We received a letter in the mail that Rachel qualifies for gifted services in language arts after we filled out a form explaining why we thought she deserved/needed that designation. We met with the gifted services adviser, Kevin Trainor, to hear his assessment.

He said that Rachel thinks globally and makes connections that are very unusual for someone her age. Most kids can maybe connect what they read to something else around them, but Rachel thinks very widely, he said: "It's almost like she's an Old Soul."

I replied, "People have been telling us that since she was really little."

He suggested that during the summer she do puzzles and math games, including memorizing her multiplication tables (because that's what the kids are doing in 3rd grade) and gave us some books. Drew makes sure that she does some multiplication almost every day, and so far she hasn't resisted.

The gifted designation stays with her at least through middle school. Which is good, because we both want the school system to challenge her as much as possible.

Catching up

Reaaaaallly long break from the blog. Sorry, people: A lot has been going on.

Let's start with Memorial Day. We had a great time with Auntie Rachel -- she graciously agreed to watch Rachel while Drew took me out for a fabulous anniversary dinner (our 19th) at Fiola Mare, a fancy restaurant I've been dying to try. It was fabulous -- they kept giving us free things: gazpacho, champagne, little dessert candies and a card written in calligraphy for the occasion. Can't wait to go back.

We saw "Love and Friendship" afterward, which I thought was pretty bad. When we got home, Rachel told us she and little Rachel had watched "Frozen" together.

On Saturday, I was scheduled to attend a picnic for a story I'm working on. It got canceled at the last minute, which was fine because I really would have preferred to spend it with Drew and the two Rachels. So...I got to grill mustard-covered chicken (actually, Drew grilled it and it came out PERFECTLY), make popovers and salad, and then had dessert. It was lovely sitting outside and eating without being bitten to death by bugs or fainting from the heat.

On Sunday morning, Rachel invited Rachel and I to an all-female brunch with a friend of hers, Jamila, who lives in the District. Little Rachel got bored halfway through, so we played Scrabble until I told her that we really had to rejoin our hostess. Jamila was so kind; she gave Rachel some books and a bag of pure vanilla beans. I made it to work just in time for Drew to pick Rachel up (and, we found out later, he unfortunately got a speeding ticket on the way there).

Those BOYS...

There is a kid in Rachel's class named Marat. His mom, a single woman, adopted him from Greece. Since kindergarten he has been somewhat of a troublemaker, although not serious. However, some of his recent behavior is questionable.

A couple of months ago, Rachel reported that Marat was showing kids his nipples. I think he got sent to the principal for that.

A week or so ago, he was showing kids his belly button -- he's an "outie" -- and, according to Rachel, figured out a way to launch crumbs from it.

Then, this past week, Rachel said, he went up to her during gym class and said, "Wanna see my butt crack?"

"Eeew, NO!" she said, and that made him back off.

Both Drew and I are wondering what is wrong with this kid. His mom seems like a perfectly nice woman; she's one of my favorite class moms. Sigh.

Rental House Adventures, Part 2

So...we managed to get through the day without a) a functioning oven b) a functioning microwave, c) a functioning toaster. Thank God Auntie Rachel had a good attitude about this. Lots of jokes about how she left corrupt, crazy Nairobi to find Third-World conditions right here in the good ol' USA.

Drew called the rental company, which of course is not open on weekends. He did get the emergency service on the phone, and they helpfully suggested that we try to make things work with extension cords. And that, Dear Readers, is when we discovered that THE KITCHEN'S ENTIRE ELECTRICAL SYSTEM IS ON EXTENSION CORDS. Apparently the house's owners, when they put in a new microwave, neglected to rewire the kitchen like they should have (the neighbors have told us that the dad tried several DIY projects, then ended up going to the neighbors for help because he f----d things up). Have to wonder why they put their daughters and their nanny in danger with wiring the kitchen via electrical outlets that appear to have failed after years of too much electricity running through them. Can't wait to get an electrician in here, have them blanch in horror at the not-up-to-code system, and then having the owners pay for what they should have done years ago.

So, Rachel Jones went upstairs after breakfast to take a jet-lagged nap that has now lasted for more than eight hours. Drew and I went out separately to run errands, with Drew taking Little Rachel for some sandal-shopping (supposedly it is going to be in the mid-80s later this week and sunny), and then Drew and I went to a Thai place for dinner. It is raining and cold, and the only thing that saved today was cupcakes for dessert at Wham! (an 80s group) on the radio. Hoping for better tomorrow.

Sweet little girl

Last night as I was kissing her before going to sleep, Little Rachel said, "Mom, please don't be jealous that I'm not paying as much attention to you because Auntie Rachel is here. I don't see her that often."

I was too taken aback to even say, "It's okay, sweetie, I understand."

Tonight, when Big Rachel crashed (she's still on Nairobi time, several hours ahead of us) and Drew was upstairs, Little Rachel came outside, where I was still sitting enjoying the warm and mosquito-free night, climbed onto my chair and crawled into my lap and we had a nice cuddle. I told her how much I love cuddling.

"I'm sorry I haven't been paying enough attention to you," she said.
"It's okay, sweetie, I understand," I said.
"No, it's not okay," she replied.

And then she kissed me multiple times, said she had to get on up to bed, and left.

I completely adore this kid.

MacGuyver this, baby

I had planned a beautiful outdoors Shabbat dinner tonight, as the weather is going to turn after midnight and tomorrow is forecast to be rainy and breezy, with a high of 60 degrees (ugh). It isn't supposed to get nice again until the middle of next week.

I got out the lamb at 5 p.m. after Big Rachel and I picked up Little Rachel from school today. I rubbed it with a mix of oil, lemon, marjoram, sage and garlic and popped it in the oven -- only to realize that I had gotten a big lamb -- eight pounds -- and the cooking time would have to be doubled, meaning we wouldn't be eating until 9. So, I made an emergency call to Dan, my catering partner, and he gave me instructions on how to cut the cooking time. So, I relaxed a bit and watched funny videos with Rachel and Rachel until about 7:20, when I checked on the meat. (I had called Drew and told him not to rush home from work, that dinner wouldn't be ready until about 8 or even 8:30).

Right after I called him, I looked at the oven -- it was out. So was the microwave. So was the refrigerator; the light was off. I tried to turn on the toaster -- nothing.

I called Drew back; he told me to check the fuse box. All looked okay, and we still had electricity in the rest of the house.

When Drew got home, he tried troubleshooting, to no avail. He called the rental company's emergency line and after they talked for a while, the electrician said the company would have to send someone to check things in person. Meanwhile, I was worried about losing the lamb (which was almost done, but not completely) and making plans to eat out.

And then our brilliant Little Rachel suggested the grill.

Yorkshire pudding was out (unfortunately I had already made the batter), but Drew took out some frozen challah, plugged our toaster in outside, fired up the grill and we finished off the lamb there. Then we discovered we could still use the stovetop if we used matches near the burners, so I was able to make the asparagus dish I had planned on.

So...we didn't eat until 9. But we were outside, the food was great, we had other candles besides the Shabbat ones, and we had chocolate-chip cake for dessert. Everyone was happy and Big Rachel said, "I so admire how poised you are," and I told her that compliment meant the world to me.

Tomorrow we grumble about not having an oven, and all the things in this house that are falling apart, but...tonight we rescued Shabbat dinner, and we got to eat outside, and we all talked and laughed and played word games, and it was just what I wanted it to be.

Auntie Rachel is here!

Rachel Jones has arrived, jet-lagged and a bit shellshocked, from Kenya and so far we are having a wonderful time. She came in Thursday afternoon, I picked her up from the airport and we drove straight to Kapnos Taverna, a great Greek restaurant in Arlington, and had dinner (and, um, drinks. We were both pretty relaxed by the end of the meal!). Then we went across the street and bought a bunch of treats -- cupcakes, mostly -- and came home.

Little Rachel was SO excited to see Big Rachel -- she ran up and gave her a hug, and said, "I'm SO glad you're here! I missed you!" as only a heartfelt, sweet, 7-going-on-17 girl can. Big Rachel read to her and put her to bed while I ate a cupcake for dessert.

I ended up falling asleep reading at 12:30 a.m. and I didn't wake up this morning until 10 a.m. I guess I need the sleep.

Auntie Ruth!

So great to see Aunt Ruth (Rachel's term), who was in town to visit Uncle Dan this weekend. We met at a local restaurant for brunch, and Rachel showed her a series of books she is reading about Lulu, a character in fiction that Drew and Ruth remember but that I, weirdly, do not.

Rachel loved seeing Ruth, but they had to cut it short because Rachel's final Shir Joy (synagogue chorus) meeting was today. They had pizza and each chorus member got a cool gift -- a magnetic flashlight -- which Drew said pleased Rachel no end.

Rachel has a swim lesson at 2:30 (this was decided only last night) and I am home until I leave for work in an hour.

Baby talk

I asked Rachel if she really wanted to go to the baby shower that Syd had asked her to attend, because she kept insisting that "I told Sydney I'd go, and you keep saying that I need to be polite," so she didn't want to refuse the invitation.

"Do you REALLY want to go?" I pressed.

"Sure. I want to see all the cute baby clothes," she exclaimed.

"You know, for someone who doesn't want kids, you seem to like babies an awful lot," I said. "Why don't you want to have kids?"

"They grow up," she said darkly.

Can't argue with you there, kid.

A break in the weather

Crazy weather we're having here. Springlike one day, cold and windy the next, rain for the past 15 days (interrupted by sun breaks now and then). Longing for a return to some normalcy, whether it's cold or hot.

Yesterday we took advantage of a sunny, warm-but-not-too-warm day -- 70 degrees -- and raced outside to do some gardening (after I woke up at 9:30). I had wanted to take Rachel to a career expo fair, for pre-K to high school, but it was so nice outside that I decided we really should be outside and not indoors. Nicole had invited Rachel to accompany Sydney to a baby shower for Sydney's dad's girlfriend, who is having their baby girl soon, but I think Rachel needs a break from Syd -- or at least, needs to make friends outside of Sydney all the time -- so I arranged for her to have a playdate at Ivy's (her parents, Billy and Jenny, are, sadly, divorcing. That means Ivy, her brother Liam and Jenny won't be going with Billy to Copenhagen, and will be moving a 10-minute drive away. Hoping that Rachel and Ivy will revive their friendship).

Around noon, we started cleaning up the garden. Rachel eagerly offered to help me, and she did a really good, consistent job of weeding the front with me while, at her suggestion, Drew mowed in the back. Then, when he was done, we switched, and Rachel and I weeded the back while Drew mowed in the front.

At one point, Rachel said she needed to go to the bathroom. She took so long that I was sure that she had left for good because she was bored and tired -- but no, as Drew told me later. She was using that time to clean the bathroom, unasked, because it was part of her chores and she wanted to get it done. I was extremely impressed!

And when we weeded in the back, Rachel was fantastic. Never once did she complain about the heat or about being tired. Her self-appointed task was to strip the flowers from the thyme plans (which are taking over the kitchen herb garden, along with the sage), and she did a great job. Twice she said, "I love gardening with you, Mommy," which was music to my ears, and I told her that I loved working outside with her. As I moved on to a different section of the garden, I suddenly thought: "These are the best days of my life," which I made sure to to tell her when I went upstairs that night to give her a kiss. "Thanks, Mom," she said, smiling. I hope I'm giving her memories she'll keep forever.

Then, just after I walked her over to her playdate with Ivy, the temperatures dropped, the skies opened up and we got RAIN. That meant that Rachel stayed at Ivy's for most of the afternoon and I started cleaning inside for Rachel Jones, who is visiting us this coming Tuesday through the end of the month.

Drew went to Ivy's to pick up Rachel just in time for Taylor, her swim teacher who was babysitting for us, to come and start babysitting while Drew and I went to the annual auction for McKinley. We actually won something on our bid -- $55 for four kids to do an hour of jump time at a trampoline place hear our house. We figure we'll do it as an end-of-the-school-year celebration for Rachel and three of her friends. Plus, we bought a mustache-topped cupcake home for her. She's such a good kid, we like doing nice things for her whenever we can.

Restaurant Shabbat

In an effort to expand our social circle, we met a family from synagogue -- whose son, Drew, is also in Rachel's class at McKinley -- for dinner at Silver Diner. Drew has an older sister, Jody, in fifth grade, and managed to get through most of dinner without the kids getting too raucous (except at the end, when we were getting ready to leave and Rachel, Drew and Jody decided to "stalk" each other).

As we were waiting for my Drew to get his car 10 minutes away (Shana and Mark, the parents, had given Rachel and me a ride over) Mark kindly played tag with Rachel, Drew and Jody. I have never seen Rachel more worn out or happy after running around. She had a fabulous time, and hopefully we can all get together again sometime.

That night I had weird chest pains that prevented me from putting Rachel to sleep. It hurt mostly when I lay down. They seem to have gone, so hopefully that's a good sign.

Book presentation

Thursday was the day of Rachel's big book presentation. I came five minutes late, so I missed the first kid who had done hers, but I was there in plenty of time to see Rachel.

It was interesting to see the other kids do theirs. Several seemed to have rehearsed beforehand, and dressed up for the occasion, and their presentations were very polished and informed. That's when I realized that a) I should have gotten up early that morning to supervise Rachel's clothing and hair; she wore a pair of jeans that had holes in them, and her hair looked like she hadn't brushed it; and b) I should have insisted we rehearse, or that she talk more about the book she read (it was about pyramids) to us beforehand. That caused a whole reexamination of my thinking -- that I should take a more active role in her learning, which Drew takes care of most of the time because of my work schedule, which is nights but also days for reporting, writing and pitching stories.

Rachel did a good job, although she seemed a little shy and soft-spoken. She was way better, however, than at least two of the boys, one of whom, when asked by Ms. Burke if he could say something about the volcano he had built, said he preferred not to. His mother, who was off to the side, had to coach him through the whole thing.

Real grades start next year, so I'm hoping to be much more involved in Rachel's education in the fall.

Lunch date

Rachel invited me to meet her for lunch Wednesday. Which really meant sitting with a table of chattering kids, but it was fun nonetheless -- more fun than I thought it would be.

I ended up getting into a staring contest with three of them -- Rachel (who lost quickly), Gabrielle (who kept snapping her fingers in front of my eyes to distract me, but it didn't work) and Addie, who held out the longest and almost made me lose, even though I pointed out that I was wearing contact lenses and was thus at a disadvantage.

I asked all of them when they expected to get their own cellphones, and the consensus seemed to be age 10 -- although Rachel volunteered age 16 (which is what Drew and I hope to stick to, although we're not sure if that's realistic). And THAT led to a discussion about ear piercing -- I told all of them that I'd gotten my ears pierced when I was in 7th grade, and it hurt, and keeping the holes open was such a pain that I ended up letting them close up and now I wear clip-ons.

Meanwhile, Trip -- the smartest and most together of the boys -- was sitting close by and when I looked over, he had gotten ketchup ALL OVER his shirt from the chicken tenders and ketchup that he'd been eating. I handed him a tissue and he tried to wipe everything off, but it was a hopeless cause.

Sometimes I forget how young they really are.

Playdate

Rachel and Sydney are scheduled to have a playdate on Wednesday after their Brownies meeting. I'm generally not a fan of playdates because they interfere with homework and bedtime, but there's not much I can do when I'm at work (which I will be tomorrow night; I had tonight off).

Today when I picked up Rachel from school, Nicole said that Sydney had asked if they could have a playdate tonight. I sort of made an exasperated sound -- two in one week is too much, and I am really trying to broaden Rachel's base of friends because I think that Sydney monopolizes her time (and yes, Mom, I sound like you did when I was much younger).

I told them they could choose between tonight and tomorrow, but not both days. Rachel got very upset and I said, "If you act that way, then we won't have a playdate either night."

They chose tomorrow. Thankfully Nicole had said to Syd that since I wasn't working tonight, we had planned to have a family dinner, which was true, and one of the reasons I didn't want to host a playdate -- I would have felt obligated to have them both over for dinner, and I didn't have enough food and wanted it to be just a family night. Luckily Nicole was gracious enough not to press the point.

As we walked home, Rachel was still in a bad mood, and said that I had ignored her when we walked to school this morning (I had tried to catch up with Billy, the father of Ivy and Liam, because I hadn't seen him in a while) and I was ignoring her then. No I wasn't, I said. Just then, we spotted a tiny mouse near the construction site. It was so cute -- it looked to be sleeping, although Rachel thought it was hurt. She took a few pictures with her cellphone.

When we got home and I asked if she was upset that she wasn't having a playdate, she said no. "I really wanted to read and cuddle with you," she said, but she didn't want to say that aloud and hurt Sydney's feelings. Totally understandable. I didn't make a big deal about it, but I was happy she said that because I wanted to spend time with her alone, too. Later tonight when I was putting her to bed we agreed on a secret wink she'd give me if she's in a similar situation with Syd again.

And tonight turned out to be lovely -- it was cool and not rainy, so we had dinner outside wearing fleece and sweatshirts. I made asparagus with penne, and we unfroze a babka I had made months ago and had that for dessert. Rachel showed Drew how she had gotten me on Instagram a few days ago, and Drew said, "The time is soon coming when Rachel will be our tech support."

"That day has already come," I observed.

Then I read with Rachel in bed and sang her two songs, and tried to convince her that she wasn't too serious ("I'm too serious," she said, when I suggested that she could become a camp counselor someday after she asked me if I had ever been one). So we had a talk about being serious vs. being responsible, and how the latter doesn't mean that she's not a fun person, she just follows the rules. I told her that she's a goofball and that she makes Daddy and me laugh a lot and we love being around her. She started giggling then, remembering a story Drew told over dinner about the slide shows his parents had when he was a kid, and how one slide was "Look! There's Drew being chased by a lobster!" (Not really, but it was pretty funny, anyway. He actually was being chased by a goose.) Both she and I had a good laugh before I said goodnight.

The Seven Dwarfs

I'm working only until 11 p.m. this week, which means I get to walk Rachel to school every morning.

Yesterday, out of the blue, came this:

"I wonder who gave birth to the seven dwarfs?"
"I don't know," I answered. "They just sort of appeared."
"Who would name their kid Dopey?" she said. "He probably got teased in school a lot."

Dressing

When I picked Rachel up from school on Friday, she had this to say:

"Sorry I'm wearing my pants backwards."

"Why am I not surprised?" I said. "You're the kid who managed to forget to wear underwear once. What kind of person forgets to put on her underwear?"

"MOM," she said, exasperated. "It was a BUSY DAY."

More technology

Rachel and her friend, Dani, played at the playground after their swim lessons and before Rachel's 5 p.m. party at her friend Madeline's house. Drew said that Rachel seemed a bit put out and disappointed that Dani didn't want to stay at the playground as long as she did.

She later told Drew: "I think I know why Dani didn't want to stay at the playground. Some people with a lot of devices would rather watch videos or play on their devices. I'm glad we're old-fashioned." (We are old-fashioned, apparently because we only have seven devices -- our two computers, three cellphones, one TV and a Kindle.)

Of course, just as I thought that we appear to be raising our own little Jane Austen, she insisted on getting on Drew's computer tonight and spent half an hour writing on her classroom blog (it was only three sentences, but she spent a lot of time hunting and pecking for keys. Gotta get her into a typing class when she's old enough because I can't imagine getting through life without being able to touch type, like I'm doing right now).

And she said that when she gets a laptop, she wants it to be purple, with pink keys.

Calling home

So, I called Drew and Rachel during a break from work -- easier to do on Sundays than during the week, because Sundays are usually pretty quiet.

"Mommy, are you going to surprise me by saying you're pregnant?" Rachel asked out of the blue. "Are you pregnant?"
"How would you feel if I were?" I said.
"YAY!!!" she squealed. "I'm going to have a baby brother!"
"I'm not pregnant, last I checked," I said. "Would you be mad at me if I was?"
"Yes," she answered firmly. "I would give you silent treatment for the rest of my life."

Good thing pregnancy is not in the cards, at least from Rachel's point of view. Seeing all the families with multiple children at brunch today (while Rachel was in religious school), it was hard not to think  of how fun two could be -- especially when we picked up her friend, Dani, from school and brought her to our place for lunch and then swim lessons and a playdate. Hearing them chattering in the background was so nice, just like having twice the fun with TWO daughters.

Happy Mother's Day!

I awoke to Rachel and Drew bringing a tray into my room with flowers, gifts and cards. What a wonderful way to start Mother's Day!

Rachel wrote a "quintrain" that went like this:

Mother
Caring, Smart
Reading, Gardaning, Cooking
Is there when I need her
Lisa

And a card that said:
Marvulous
Optamistic
Magnifacint
Majestic
Young

And a heart that said, "I love you Mommy!"
And a googly-eyed picture of me.

Drew's gift was a box of Mozart CDs, which I love because I'll be able to refresh my classical music collection and give us all something new to listen to on Shabbat. Yay!!

Also got lovely flowers from Tia Daniella whose message to me charmed Rachel when she figured out what our nicknames for each other are. I couldn't help sighing that she'll miss out on the benefits of having a sibling. Oh, well...

Report card

Rachel brought home a great report card, as usual. Some highlights:

--Areas of difficulty: Using capitalization and punctuation appropriately (eh, e.e. cummings wrote lowercase, so should I care about this?)

--Areas of strength: Computes accurately in mathematics (YAY!!) and reads independently

Ms. Burke (her main teacher) had comments:
--Rachel continued to make progress this quarter. She remains an enthusiastic learner and frequently participates in class discussions. She demonstrated a good understanding during our study of Ancient China and has enjoyed our science unit about weather. In reading, she successfully completed a Navigator unit about Jumanji in which she studied vocabulary, mad inferences and discussed the characters. She continues to be a voracious reader but has recognized the appropriate times to read in class. While still a bit of an apprehensive writer, Rachel enjoyed completing a research project on pandas. She learned the elements of a paragraph and successfully utilized them to complete her milt-paragraph report. Rachel demonstrated a good understanding of the math concepts we studied this quarter and seems to enjoy the subject. For the next quarter, she will continued to practice her subtraction fact fluency. Rachel continues to be a joy to have in class and I look forward to her continued growth during the last quarter of second grade!

S. Byrne (Spanish teacher):
--Rachel is an active part of our class. She often participates and helps those around her. She is attentive and organized. I enjoy having her in my class.

M. Locke (Music teacher):
--Rachel is doing well in music class. She made excellent academic progress during our instrument family unit, identifying instruments by sight and sound, learning how each is played and what materials they are made of. Rachel is a pleasure to have in class, continuing to follow our music rules and participating fully in music songs and activities. She asks great questions and looks to build her musical knowledge. We look forward to presenting our musical to the school community on May 26!

Busy Saturday

Drew was at the gym Friday night and I stayed up waaayyy too late watching the "Godfather" movies, so we woke up quite late on Saturday. While Drew went to run errands, Rachel and I worked on her book project -- a diorama depicting pyramids and a camel to go with the book about pyramids that she read and will report on in the next couple of days -- and of course I will attend the presentation.

I helped her glue sandpaper to the bottom (to represent sand) and shape the clay into pyramids. We took toothpicks to scrape lines in the clay to make them look like bricks, and then we colored them in with black marker, and painted a blue sky and sun. She directed; I just helped. When I suggested music, she put in her Taylor Swift CD. ("1989," the year Ms. Swift was born.)

At one point Rachel said, "This is the best Saturday ever."
"Why is that?" I asked.
"Working on my diorama with you and blasting Taylor Swift in the background," she said.

I couldn't have agreed more.

Afterward, despite her dramatic grumbling, we went upstairs to declutter her room. We filled up a huge trash bag's worth of papers and other junk from her desk, and emptied out her bookcases of books she doesn't read anymore -- meaning there are now NO MORE LIBRARY BOOKS ON THE FLOOR OR DOUBLE-STACKED BOOKS. So I'm not upset every time I walk into her room.

Then, after Drew got home, he mowed the lawn -- bless his heart -- and then we all settled in to eat pizza and sushi and watch "Les Miserables." Rachel liked it, although toward the end she got as overwrought as the movie. In retrospect, she was probably a bit too young to watch it, which I apologized to her for. I ended up having to sing and cuddle her to sleep, and left my fleece next to her so she'd smell it and think of Mommy. Hope that helps.

Nighttime routine

The other night, I walked in to Rachel's room to read and cuddle and sing...to find her with a kids' version of Shakespeare. "Look, Mom! I'm reading Shakespeare's 'King Lear'"! she said, adding that she tends to like the plays where the characters die.

That night I sang "Solidarity Forever," which she described as "basically an ad for unions," which is set to the tune of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic."

Shakespeare and "Solidarity Forever." I call that a great night.

Shabbat sing!

Rachel's synagogue chorus, Shir Joy, did their last performance of this Hebrew-school year tonight at a family service. I love watching her perform, even if it seems like she's not always into the song and she doesn't always look like she remembers the words.

One of the things we're starting to do again is singing at night. When I'm home, I read with her in bed, then she washes and brushes her teeth and changes into her jammies, and then I grab the "Rise Up Singing" songbook and choose three songs to sing.

Tonight I chose "The times, they are a-changin'" by Bob Dylan; the 2nd-graders are singing it for their end-of-the-year performance on May 25. That's the production in which Rachel plays Rosa Parks, and I can't wait to see it.

Class volunteer

I had a bad experience the last time that I was the "Mystery Reader" in Rachel's class -- the kids know me so well because I've done it so often that the clues that Mrs. Burke gives out aren't any fun for them to try to decipher, and so they weren't very enthusiastic the last time I came. I told Mrs. Burke I'd be happy to surrender the last few times I'd agreed to volunteer to read.

This week, however, I did volunteer to help Mrs. Burke with laminating, inserting things in folders, etc. -- it's a weekly thing that parents can do to help her out with the amazing amount of paper that is generated every year. I came in for a half hour and ended up stringing yarn through paper birds that the kids had colored, so they will easily hang from the ceiling. Rachel looked happy to see me although she didn't run over and hug me, probably because her friends were around.

Today, though, she said, "Thanks for volunteering." And we made a date for me to join her and her friends for lunch next Wednesday.

Knitting club

Apparently the staff members of Rachel's extended-day program have started a Knitting Club. (Kind of wish they were into chess or other math-related activities, but I can't dictate their hobbies.) Rachel took up the skill with enthusiasm, and last week came home with a cute little bag made of wool that she had knitted ALL BY HERSELF! It had a drawstring and everything, and I was so impressed. Except for a few wonky threads, it looked terrific. It's a light purple and looks so cool; I can easily see a twentysomething woman carrying it around town and into clubs.

It also would look very cool on the wrist of an almost-50-year-old woman. Just sayin'...

Les Miserables

Rachel has developed a fascination bordering on obsession with Les Miserables. While I was jamming on election coverage a week ago, she and Drew were at the library and she went to the section for 5th-grade books and picked up a kid's version of the story. She and Drew talked about it, and she is fascinated with the characters and the plot.

Drew rented the movie last weekend, but Sydney got bored a few minutes in, so we deferred watching it until tomorrow night. It is long, but we'll start it early enough so Rachel can get adequate sleep. I hope the depressing/scary parts aren't too much for her.

Problem-solving

Rachel is doing a book project, and for her big presentation next week she will be making a diorama with pyramids, sand, etc. (We went shopping at Michael's for supplies on Tuesday, and she kept saying over and over, "I love going shopping with you, Mom." When we were planning the shopping trip, I asked her why she wanted me to pick her up early to do so and she said, "First, so I can can spend quality time with you." Had to wince at that one.)

One of the things I let her buy was a plastic treasure chest, which really doesn't fit into the theme, but I persuaded myself it did because, what the heck. She was enchanted with it and carried it everywhere, including to school (which I would have vetoed).

On Wednesday, when I called from work, she got on the phone and I could hear the trepidation in her voice. Turns out that she left the treasure test in the library during class one day, and Tasia (a former kindergarten and first-grade classmate), allegedly pocketed it (she was supposed to have brought it to the school's lost and found).

So, on her own, Rachel worked out an arrangement for getting the treasure chest back. She told Libby, who shares a bus with Tasia, and Libby was going to tell Tasia that the chest she took had been Rachel's. And if that didn't work, Rachel said earnestly, "I'll pay for a new one."

When I told her that would be fine, she sounded relieved. "Did you think I'd be mad?" I asked her.
"I thought you would scream at me," she replied.

Still processing that fear of hers, but I was impressed by her take-charge attitude. As it turns out, someone else saw the treasure chest, realized it was Rachel's and put it back in her desk.

Tech talk, Part 2

Rachel told Drew the other day that she thinks she knows why Syd's parents don't buy her as much stuff as we do -- that they're spending money on all the TVs and devices they have.

They have 3 Tvs, an iPad, a Kindle, a Novi (a kid's tablet), and their smartphones.

So she thinks they don't have money to buy extras.

Tech talks

Rachel announced to Drew the other night, when she was in the tub: "Daddy. We need to talk about something that could change the entire future of our family."

She said, "First, every time when someone in the family needs to talk about something involving technology, we're going to call it 'Technology Talk.'"

So they had their first technology talk in the tub.

She announced her plan how she's going to save up enough money to buy her own cellphone:

"I got $200 for my birthday last year, right?"
Drew said yes.
"And if I get $200 this year, and another $200 next year, then I'll have $600, right?"
Drew said, "Uh...huh."

Then she said, "Then I can take $500 from the bank and use it to buy my own cellphone."

Drew could tell she was very proud of herself for thinking of that on her own.

But then Drew said, "Well, there's a little problem with that." And that's when he explained the monthly bill for phone service, without with the cellphone was useless.

She asked how much it would be, and he said about $50 a month.

She said, "Well, I could give you all my allowance every month and not spend it on anything else."

He said, "Even if I raise your allowance to $3 a week, that would only be $12 to $15 a month. What about the rest?'

She said, "YOU can pay the rest."

Drew said that, "but your allowance comes from my pocket anyway. So really, I'd be giving you money so you could turn right around and give it back to me anyway."

She gave that kind of embarrassed look and acknowledged he was right. And he said he'd a defer a discussion of cellphone into the indefinite future. And he said that assumed that she would even GET any birthday money this year, which she can't count on.

The boy/girl/animal name game

Rachel has devised a new game that we all play at the dinner table: It's going down the letters of the alphabet and naming various animals, girls' or boys' names. So, one round will be all girls' names (Abigail, Beth, Catherine, etc.); one round will be boys, another will be animals.

When someone gets stumped, like with Q or Z, the others start humming the tune from "Jeopardy," and then the others pick it up.

Drew always seems to win. But Rachel is very generous at giving Mommy hints, usually while Drew is starting to clean up in the kitchen.

WHCD

So, while all of the rest of my journalism colleges In the Known Universe were partying it up at the White House correspondents' dinner, Yours Truly was having a dance party with Rachel and Sydney, whose mom determined that she was ready for a sleepover at our house (although I had my doubts).

We all had a big pillow fight before bed -- Syd, Rachel, Mommy and Daddy -- and poor Rachel wanted to keep it up after 10 minutes, but Drew and I said firmly that the girls had to go to bed early because Rachel had Hebrew school the next day.

A few minutes later, Rachel came down and said that Sydney couldn't sleep because her mom usually cuddles with her and reads a book, and I offered to do the same, but Syd was adamant that she wanted to leave. I came upstairs and told her matter-of-factly: "Sydney, you knew this was going to be the case when you ASKED to have this sleepover," but she didn't appear to be moved.

Drew texted Nicole, Syd's mom, but got no answer. He went out to get us both food (I had met a friend for a late lunch and wasn't very hungry) and I stayed home.

While he was gone, Rachel came downstairs again and told me that she had made Syd laugh and was telling her stories, and Syd had yawned, meaning that she was getting tired. By the time Drew got back, both girls were asleep (which is around the time that Nicole texted us back).

Things were fine; Drew made them chocolate-chip pancakes the next morning and we got Rachel to Hebrew school, then Drew and I had brunch.

What family means

Speaking of family, a week or so ago Rachel came into our bedroom with a long face -- Drew had left for work -- and said that her iPad license would be taken away from her because she forgot to plug in her iPad before she left for school that morning (the iPads, new for all 2nd-graders this year, stay at school but the kids do a lot of their classwork on them).

"I'm sure Ms. Burke wouldn't do that," I said, but she seemed unconvinced.

So, I told her that I'd throw on some clothes, we would race through breakfast and we'd get her to school in time to plug in her iPad. As we were walking down the stairs she said, "It's okay, Mom, you don't have to rush." I told her it was fine, and she kept protesting, until I turned around, looked her in the eye and said: "Rachel. We're a family, and families help each other out when we're in trouble. This is one of those times."

I will never forget the look of relief that crossed her face. She put her arms around me and said, "Thanks, Mom. You're the best."

She calculated that if we got to school about 20 minutes early, she could plug her iPad in just enough to juice up the battery to last her through the rest of the day. We made it in early, and she was fine.

I wouldn't have done that or said that if she was normally a careless kid. But Rachel is so responsible that I wanted her to know that I acknowledged that by going the extra mile to help her out when she needed it. So that way, she won't feel terrible if she screws up when she's older and feels as if she doesn't have backup from Mom and Dad. And anytime I can reinforce that family members help each other in times of trouble, illness, etc., I'll take that opportunity.

A lovely surprise

Rachel brought home some schoolwork she did in class, and one was a picture of a four-leaf clover, colored in green, with the words: "I feel lucky because":

And this is what she wrote:

"I have a family that loves me. I feel lucky of that because they are always there when I need them. I really, Really love my family."

And we really, really love you, Rachel. Now we know why she feels so secure...

Nighttime ritual

I've decided that I should start singing to Rachel before she goes to sleep whenever I'm home. On Thursday I had the night off, so after Drew's great dinner, I went upstairs with Rachel and we read for about 10 minutes in her bed. That is, she read her book and I read mine.

"Look, Mom!" she said. "I'm reading Shakespeare's 'King Lear!'"

Um, great, honey, I said. "That's Daddy's favorite Shakespeare play."

Then I sang "Dona Dona," which I think bored her, and then "Solidarity Forever." When she asked me what the song was about, I explained the concept of unions to her and she said, "So, it's basically an ad for unions."

Yes, I replied.

Then we talked a bit about marriage and children. She said she doesn't want children because "they cost too much and they're so much work." (and I made a mental note to do what I did tonight, which is to tell her that having her is the greatest gift of my life and that Daddy and would never have had her if we couldn't afford to, and that she shouldn't worry about money.)

Besides, she said, she wants to stay single because, "I want to be an old lady and play Bingo. That way, I'll stay young."

I could barely restrain myself from laughing. Where does she get these ideas???

A lesson at the gym, Part 2

So, I was trying to explain the mom, Bella and her sister to Rachel, and how I had unfairly criticized the mom in her head. I'm not sure she really understood what I was trying to say, which boiled down to, "Please try not to be as judgmental as Mommy is."

Instead, she said something interesting: "I'm glad you're not like other moms."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"If I asked you to put on my socks, you wouldn't call me a brat," she said. "You'd say, 'Well, just this once.' Or you'd say, 'No! Do it yourself!'"

Which confirms, yet again, that kids, deep down, like limits and boundaries. And that Rachel is exquisitely sensitive to how other parents treat their children. When they're not firm with them, she knows it. And is not shy about telling me about it.

A lesson at the gym

I didn't have to work Thursday night, and Drew offered to grill steaks and bake potato kugel while I took Rachel to gymnastics. I happily agreed.

While I was watching her, I became distracted by a little girl -- she couldn't have been more than 3 or 4 ("three and three-quarters," Rachel said later) who was watching a movie or a TV show on her mom's cellphone. I hate seeing that in kids so young, and all sorts of ugly things ran through my head: Why does this mom allow her kid to DO that? I never allowed Rachel to watch movies on my phone. Give her a book, or something!

Of course, I didn't say a word.

Then, in the locker room after the class, Rachel was changing when I heard the young girl who had had the cellphone. She was with her older sister, Bella, who I estimate is about 6 and is in Rachel's class. They were both whining for the cellphone -- "Please, mom! Please let me watch it! I'll be good, Mom!" -- and it sounded disturbingly like someone needing a drug fix. I urged Rachel to finish changing because I just wanted us to get the hell out of there. At one point the mom threatened that there would be no TV that night, that they couldn't watch the cellphone movie in the car, and she told one kid to shut up and called the other one a brat. She ordered Bella to put on her socks, and Bella said, whining, "No! YOU do it!"

The whole scene really upset me and I started criticizing the mom in my head (I would never do this out loud, of course): Well, maybe if you didn't let your kids watch TV or cellphones so much, maybe they wouldn't be so obnoxious. At the same time, I wanted to say to the kids, firmly, "STOP IT. Stop it right now."

We were on our way out when we saw them. I was so ashamed of my ugly thoughts that I told the mom, "I guess two is harder than one," and she said, as if she had really been thinking about it, something along the lines of how, yes, she thought maybe two would be easier. Then I asked Bella her name and then asked her if she liked gymnastics. No, she said. Her mom said that she liked her flamenco classes, and I said, "Really? Can you show me how the fan works?" and she pretended to fan herself. "Can you show me how you take your skirt in your hands and sweep it around?" And she did, and then she started showing me some of her moves, and she was smiling and engaged.

The mom looked at me and said, "Thank you. The whole vibe changed." And then she explained that her husband is out of town during the week because he works in health care in Philadelphia, and that the kids are hard to manage. And she's alone with them. I noticed that one of her eyes looked completely bloodshot. I asked Bella what her full name was, and then we talked about all the names she could call herself -- Isabella, Izzy, Bella. (Rachel, by this time, was making delicate coughing sounds as if to say, "Um, let's go, Mom! NOW.")

And then I thought that there's a good reason that mom probably gives her kids her cellphone or lets them watch TV -- she's exhausted, and probably at her wit's end. And that you really can't criticize someone if you don't know the full story. I should know that my now, but it seems that I constantly need reminding.

I hope I gave that mom some grace.

Spring dinner

A few days before we left for Passover in New York, it was so nice here that one night, when I wasn't working, I decided that we were going to eat outside.

So, I picked Rachel up from school, brought her home and started dinner. I brushed lamb chops with some oil and rosemary and opened a container of grape tomatoes, put everything on a pan and put it in the oven. Then I quick-boiled asparagus and made a lemon-butter sauce (NOT hollandaise) to drizzle over it. I had grabbed some cornbread that we had gotten at work one night and heated it up.

Rachel really got into the mood of the night. Totally unprompted, she arranged some cookies on a dessert plate, cut up some pears we had and served them with honey! Drew and I couldn't say enough how proud we were.

We ate outside on our deck. It was a bit chilly, and Rachel wore my fleece, but we had a great time anyway, listening to Rachel talk about all the iPad-related stuff she's doing at school, and sharing opinions about work-related issues (mine, mostly). Really, it's like having a great roommate. Truly, it was a magical evening.

Rachel's plans for the future

Her latest vision of adulthood Rachel told me while we were at Udvar-Hazy:

"Simone and I are going to get an apartment in New York City. She's going to be a vet, and I'm going to be a movie critic for the New York Times. And we're going to have dance parties every night."

"You can move in next door to us, but the music may be too loud for you."

Passover

So, barely had everyone left when we began to get ready for Passover. I spent the week before buying afikomen gifts, baking gluten-free chocolate cookies (which turned out badly, for some reason; not sure why), packing, etc.

We left at 10:30 a.m. on Friday morning and the first order of business was listening to Prince's "Purple Rain" album (he had died on Thursday and I was very upset), on the highway. I had forgotten what a fantastic album it is -- not a clunker song in the bunch -- and it was gratifying to hear Rachel singing "Purple Rain" very softly in the back and saying that she liked the album. We think we've just about decided to keep her in the family.:)

We listened to "1999," another not-as-good Prince album, and then by the time we pulled into NYC (around 5 or so), we did what we'd promised Rachel: put in Taylor Swift's "1989" album, which starts off with, "Welcome to New York." When I grumbled a bit at having to do that, she shot back, "We listening to YOUR music, Mom, now we get to listen to mine. It's time." And she was right.

We had a lovely Passover dinner, as usual, at Daniella's apartment. Beautiful Seder table, delicious matzoh-ball soup, chicken, etc. It lasted way late -- past 11 for the kids and past midnight for the grown-ups cleaning up, but so worth it! We managed to sleep in a bit the next day, which was nice.

The girls hung around the apartment and watched a movie while Drew and I took a walk around the neighborhood and bought pizza for lunch. Around 3:15, we headed to Mom and Dad's, and then Dad took Rachel swimming while Mom played the piano and I got to sing (geez, I've missed that).

When Drew, Dad and Rachel got back from the pool, Rachel said excitedly that she had jumped off Grandpa's shoulders! When I looked at him reproachfully and asked him why he'd let Rachel do that, he said, "Because I used to do the same thing with her mommy," and I was so moved.

We went to a delicious Spanish restaurant where I ordered a paella I am still salivating over, only to remember that during Passover I generally try to adhere to all the dietary rules, which I broke by eating shellfish. Sigh. So I resolved to extend my Passover kashrut diet for one more day -- Saturday afternoon -- when I am meeting a friend at a burger place and will end things at that time.

Our drive home was longish, but we managed to avoid traffic until we got to the Baltimore-Washington Parkway. But I still got in to work on time (just barely). What a great getaway, and thanks so much, everyone, for making it a wonderful trip.

Anne and David and Ron and Doreen and Ben and Jake

We had a double dose of family recently -- Anne and David came with Ron Weiner and their teenage kids, Ben and Jake, and we spent lots of time with them. A sampling:

On Saturday about two weeks ago, we finally got to meet Ron's wife and kids; we had met Ron last summer, in Seattle, and he was very charmed by Rachel. We met at the house of Ron's friend from Bronx Science, Steve Chabinsky, who is a cybersecurity expert and has a wife, Jamie, and two kids -- the girl is named Sage. They laid out a nice brunch, complete with a kid's table (they have a big house in Vienna; Jamie is a lawyer) and then the kids disappeared downstairs to amuse themselves with electronics while the adults talked. After a couple of hours we got up to stretch our legs and take a walk, and the cold weather led me to remark, "This feels like a walk after Thanksgiving dinner!"

We took our leave, and then Rachel had a birthday party and a sleepover. Anne and David met a friend of hers at Lebanese Taverna while Drew and I went to a great Greek restaurant for dinner. We all met up back at home, and Drew built a fire while I read the paper and relaxed.

On Sunday, Rachel skipped religious school so we could meet the gang (including Steve's family and Ron's; Ron was staying with Steve) at Udvar-Hazy, the Air & Space Museum extension. Lots of planes, looking surprisingly elegant, and Rachel and I went into a flight simulator and had the time of our lives (i.e., it scared the bejesus out of me but I loved shrieking my head off). We had lunch at McDonald's, the only restaurant option, and then I took Rachel home then headed to work.

The next week was kind of a blur. I met Ron, Doreen and the kids for lunch on Monday, and then Doreen, Ben and I took a walk around the Mall while Ron and Jake finished exploring the Spy Museum. David and Anne then joined us at the Mall, and then I went in to work.

On Tuesday, I went to the Newseum with Ron and the kids -- it was as terrific as I'd remembered it -- and then I took them to a crepe place near The Post where we ate quite late, 4 p.m. -- I hadn't had any breakfast or lunch that day, for some reason -- and then they headed the next day to Baltimore. Anne and I met on Wednesday for lunch at the Sculpture Garden's Pavilion Restaurant in perfect weather, and as is usually the case, we ended up talking for four hours after which I headed in to work. I think that was the night when everyone headed in to Rockville to visit Uncle Dan, who was the only one who could solve one of Rachel's brain-teasing puzzles. Everyone had a great time.

On Thursday, Anne and David left. Drew, Rachel and I took Ron and the kids to Lebanese Taverna for dinner and said goodbyes, since Drew was leaving early Friday for his Knight-Bagehot fellowship reunion in New York. On Friday, I took Ron and the boys to Great Falls National Park, where we hiked further in than I'd ever gone. It was so worth it! The weather was unbelievably perfect and the boys really appreciated being outside and NOT in a museum. When we got back, Ron essentially took over dinner, to my immense gratitude, and we had lamb chops, brussels sprouts with bacon and ice cream for dessert because I was too tired to think of making dessert.

I think I walked something like 12 miles that week and didn't have much time to eat, but it was so wonderful seeing family! Please come back, we loved spending time with you!

Dinner party

A few weeks after our spring break trip, I invited some young people from The Post (and one from Bloomberg News) over for dinner. Fenit is 25; Victoria and Moriah are in their late 20s and Lenore is her early 30s. Everyone raved over the food and dessert and they all had second helpings. And afterward, they thanked us profusely for the great time, especially with Rachel.

They really enjoyed talked to Rachel; you could tell they were just charmed by her commentary. At one point, Moriah was talking about some guy she'd been involved with and then they broke up. Rachel said, very calmly and authoritatively, "It sounds like he was using you." At which everyone at the table howled with laughter.

She's a pistol, that one.

Spring break!

Hard to believe that almost a month ago, we were in Williamsburg/Jamestown/Yorktown. We drove down on a Tuesday and stayed until Sunday morning. We thought we'd have enough time to see everything, but unfortunately we didn't. Some samples:

--We went to Jamestown the first day, after a crummy first night in a hotel that Rachel and I disliked. It wasn't Drew's fault; I had been so busy at work, learning a new system of workflow and writing stories on the side, that I hadn't had time to really research what we were going to do (plus, I had pitched a piece to The Post's Travel editor involving Rachel, but she never got back to me and we ended up making last-minute plans to go to Williamsburg). From now on, I'll ask if a hotel has an interior corridor vs. a door that opens right to the outside, like this one did -- and when you have boozy yahoos outside your door at 11 at night, that can be a problem. Anyway, Jamestown was unexpectedly terrific and very moving. We went to a museum and then to an archaeological area where they are still making discoveries about life back then; it was completely fascinating because the National Park Service guides are really, really into the history and know their stuff. There's a museum on site that has been open only a decade or so, and I could have spent much more time there; there was so much to learn about the incredibly harsh early days of the English, the weather, the -- seriously -- cannibalism! -- and other things.

--The second day we went to the Jamestown settlement, a re-creation of life there from the Native American perspective. We went into teepees, watched baskets being sewn, walked along the grounds, etc. By the end of our time there, I really had a good sense of what the colonialists were up against in the New World.

--The third day we went to Yorktown, where they still have the redoubts FROM THE REVOLUTIONARY AND CIVIL WARS, and it was a terrific experience. We watched a little film there and Rachel climbed on some Revolutionary War-era cannons. Then we drove into town, saw a lot of old houses that I would have loved to explore, and got to see lots of live re-creations of: Colonial-era cooking, a cannon being shot off, a lecture on medicine during the American Revolution and Civil War battles (you don't want to know), and a museum that is being renovated so we only hit the highlights (it will be reopening this October, to much fanfare). We had dinner at a place right on the water and ice cream at Ben & Jerry's nearby.

--Then we spent the fourth and fifth days at Colonial Williamsburg. We didn't do RevQuest -- the Revolutionary War spy game -- this year because there was so much more to see: live demonstrations of candle-making; a lecture about and demonstration of a printing press, etc. When we remarked to someone that it seemed so much more open this year, they said that was a conscious decision of the people who run the place; that they realized they needed to make it more accessible to serve the public, and a bunch of folks had retired and they'd gotten more money to set up more people in the act of doing things.

We had found slightly better -- just slightly -- better lodgings where a bunch of kids from a soccer tournament were staying. It was a little chaotic. But we also found some nice restaurants and generally had a great time.

Rachel was a great traveling companion throughout, especially one night when Drew and I had got into an argument and were still angry, and she made a calm little speech that I'm forgetting now, but Drew looked at me and said, "We should listen to the child," and we all had a group family hug and made up. We later found out that she had gotten the idea to do that from one of her books about how kids can deal with difficult situations, or something like that. Anyhow...we all had a blast. Best spring break trip ever.

Has it really been two months?? Yikes. So sorry about that.

So much has happened, I guess I should just hit the highlights.

Well, in March, Rachel got head lice. We found out when I, as her class's "mystery reader" came in to find the reading chair covered in plastic. Ms. Burke explained that there were some students that had lice -- all girls, apparently -- and that she had banned hugs until the problem was resolved. At the end of the day I asked her if Rachel was one of the girls, and she said diplomatically, "I'm sure nothing is wrong, but you should check with the nurse," or something like that.

So, off to the nurse we went, and, sure enough -- Rachel had lice. There were specks of white all over her hair, and the nurse combed her fingers through it and removed a live, wriggling nit. You really haven't been a parent, I guess, until you've had that experience. I had the nurse check me, too, and thank God I didn't have anything. Probably because I only see Rachel at night, and I lean down to kiss her and don't touch her hair.

As soon as Rachel saw that, she burst into tears and yelled, "I FEEL LIKE A FREAK!!" I had to calm her down and say that we'd take care of it, it was totally normal and we just needed to find the medicine to get rid of it. The nurse gave me some suggestions while I, dazed, tried to absorb it, and then we went home. I called Drew, contacted my friend Molly on Facebook, and then we drove to CVS to pick up the shampoo, combs, etc.

The funny part: I was trying to be discreet and said in a low voice to the pharmacist, "Um, where can I find..." when Rachel piped up and said, in a not-so-soft voice, "I HAVE LICE." I could have sworn that some folks on a line a little ways down heard us. Anyway, the pharmacist took us to the shelf with the medicine, explained that her sons had had it, too, and pointed out the stuff she had used. We bought it, went home, and then after Shabbat dinner that night, Drew took on the job of applying the shampoo and, he later told me, combing out a lot of dead nits.

That week, he was in charge of applying the hair stuff and combing Rachel out because I had to work five straight days. My favorite anecdote from that time was when Drew told me Rachel said, "DIE, vermin! DIE!" during one of the comb-outs. Yep, that's my girl.

It was over after a week (which included us washing all of Rachel's clothes and bedding and running her stuffed animals through the dryer), and, now that we've had that experience -- I hope it will never happen again. At least Rachel gets a kick out of how she announced in public that she had lice. I told her immediately how funny she'd been, and she saw the humor in the situation.

Best way to start a Saturday when I'm working

Had to get up early this morning to meet a guy at Eastern Market for a tour of LGBT sites for a story I'm working on for The Post. I had quietly gotten out of bed and showered, only to find that Rachel, while I was showering, crawled out of her bed and into the guest bedroom, her blanket with her and her Groucho Marx-like nose and glasses on.

She tried to grab onto me but I gently disengaged myself, saying that I really had to get ready.

As I was finishing up, she got out of bed, pointed her arm at me and said, "Remember. You are the best mommy in the whole world of mommies."

Nothing could dim my mood after that. The fact that it was in the mid-60s and sunny helped, but still...it was a great day because Rachel started it out that way.

Friday night

I took Rachel to an activities fair Friday night because there are still a few weeks of summer that are unaccounted for. We are planning for two weeks (or most of two weeks, anyway) for vacation. Rachel has expressed an interest in going to...Canada, because "I've never been out of the country," to we are looking at Montreal and Quebec City because, Rachel insists, she's a city girl and likes the busyness of cities. So, probably not Nova Scotia this time.

That is, if we're not busy moving. We are crossing our fingers that our landlords spend another three years overseas so we can get Rachel through the 5th grade at McKinley, and frankly I am just not up to moving right now. But if we must, we must. Our lease expires in July.

We found a bunch of interesting-looking camps. So far, she is signed up for computer animation camp (Girls only! Woot!), music camp, PONY camp, and probably Summer Laureates, the academic enrichment program she has done the last two summers. We have two weeks left to fill, and we're thinking French-immersion camp (because Rachel has expressed an interest in learning French) and either a swim or a general outdoor activity camp. Geez, that kid is going to have a better summer than I will! Although I'm really looking forward to outdoor swimming again...

We left way late (around 7:30), and I had gotten only six hours of sleep the night before so I was really cranky. I spoke sharply to Rachel, who was shrieking with energy when we got outside (she was excited because she had picked up a bunch of free items like sunglasses and a Groucho Marx-like nose and glasses) and explained I was cranky, and she got very upset and wouldn't tell me what was wrong until we got to the restaurant. Then she unloaded, saying, "Mom this is about you, no offense," and then launched into the fact that it wasn't fair that I got to take out my crankiness on everyone but every time she's cranky, Drew says, "Just because you're cranky doesn't mean you get to be cranky and rude to other people." She was essentially upset because she thought there was one rule for us ("I know you're grownups, but it's not fair") and another for her. We talked it out, and I agreed to try not to take my crankiness out on everyone and Drew said he'd go a little easier on Rachel when she's out of sorts.

Getting some burgers, fries and chocolate cake into all of us helped, and by the time we got home Rachel was sweet and cuddly and insisted that I read with her in bed.

2nd quarter report card

"Can I see my report card?" Rachel asked excitedly when I picked her up Friday afternoon. Report cards come in letter-size envelopes so the kids can't see them. Rachel said that some parents don't show kids their report cards, but I told her I'd be glad to show it to her. The fact that she knew it was coming and that she was eager to see her progress impressed me.

Her teacher, Ms. Burke, said: "Rachel had a wonderful second quarter. She remains to be an avid reader and take advantage of any opportunity to read. She also began working on a Navigator unit, which helps to develop close reading strategies, and she will work with her group to complete it in the coming weeks. Rachel has shown growth with her writing and successfully completed several expository pieces and friendly letters. The use of graphic organizers has helped her develop her thoughts before she begins writing and her pieces are well organized and maintain a clear focus. However, I will continue to challenge Rachel in this area next quarter and will encourage her to include more descriptive details into her pieces. I would also like for her to make a habit of checking her writing for proper use of capital letters before publishing a final draft. Rachel demonstrates a strong understanding of the math concepts we studied this quarter. A math goal for her next quarter would be to practice her fact fluency with subtraction problems. Rachel continues to do well with her iPad and is eager to learn new apps. I so appreciate her positivity and her enthusiasm for learning, and I am looking forward to a great third quarter.

From her art teacher: "Rachel is very creative, and loves anything having to do with art. It is a pleasure having Rachel in art class."

From her phys ed teacher: "Rachel continues to have a great year. She worked hard to improve her skills and it showed during our rolling and bowling unit. Her jump roping has improved throughout the quarter as well. She works well independently and with others."

Areas of difficulty: using capitalization and punctuation appropriately.

Areas of strength: reading independently and computing accurately in math.

Science Fair, Part 2

Science Fair night was Thursday, and there were only two other kids in 2nd grade who did projects (it's required in 4th and 5th and we want to get Rachel used to the idea of doing one so that it doesn't seem overwhelming when it's not optional anymore). She got some nice compliments, apparently. The adults, apparently, were impressed that she didn't choose an experiment from a book like the other kids did.

I congratulated her by phone at work, and I said, "Aren't you glad you did a project?" "You MADE me do one," she reminded me, not very enthusiastically. Well, I'm glad we did because it was an important lesson in stick-to-itiveness. Which hopefully will serve her well in life.

Post-ice storm

It was raining on Tuesday -- really raining -- but, of course, Arlington Public Schools were closed because of the ice the night before that had already started melting Tuesday morning. No, school closures make no sense.

Drew went off to work and I told Rachel I'd bring her to Daddy's workplace because I had to work at 3:30. She came into our bedroom in the morning and the first thing she said was, cheerfully, "Did I miss the adults' heads exploding??"

What could I do but laugh?

I told her I had to do some work that day, but we ended up having a late breakfast and just hanging out. Nicole asked us if she could bring Sydney over for a playdate, and I asked Rachel if she wanted to do that, but she said no, she wanted to spend the day with me alone. I told her that made me feel really good and wrote Nicole back. She was very understanding.

Rachel and I walked to the station -- about a mile -- and she remarked several times that she's not used to getting that much exercise, but she never whined about it. And I encouraged her to do some puddle-jumping because the ice had melted quickly with the rain and warm temps. "I love you, Mommy!" she kept saying.

Really, I think she loved the fact that she got to spend time with me, which she hasn't this week because I've worked five days.

Ice storm

Drew had off President's Day. Rachel had a sleepover the night before with Sydney and from what Nicole said, they didn't get a lot of sleep (Rachel told us that Sydney wanted to play a game on her iPad when it was time to go to bed; all Rachel wanted to do was sleep, poor thing). We picked her up in the early afternoon, and they drove me in to the Ballston Metro for work.

On the way home that night -- I had decided to go in, despite the fact that my boss told us all that we could work from home because of the impeding ice storm -- it was perilous. A sheet of ice covered the bike path, so I hiked on the snow by the side of the path when I could, and crossed ice-coated bridges very very carefully. I had finally made it close to home until I reached the house across the street from ours and realized that I couldn't cross. It was too slippery. So, I slid my bags and umbrella (it had started raining on top of all of this) across the street and thought about sliding on my butt across -- but as soon as I did so, I started sliding down, not across. (I had called Drew by this point, and both he and I realized that I could go to the bottom of the hill, walk carefully across and then back up in the melting parts near the sidewalks.) I finally made it back home, with Drew carrying my bags inside, vowing NEVER EVER EVER to try to walk to the Metro station and back in an ice storm. Why risk it, when I can just as easily work from home?

Happy Valentine's Day!

We had a lovely Valentine's Day last Sunday, even if I did have to work. Drew made chocolate-chip pancakes and bacon and bought me a lovely bouquet of roses. We all exchanged gifts: Drew got me a beautiful sweater; I bought him a tie with a light-bulb pattern from the National Archives gift shop (at Rachel's suggestion; she thought the tie I had picked out, a red pattern, was too boring), and we both bought Rachel a Magic 8-ball which she has been mooning over for MONTHS. She was so happy when she opened it!

She made us cards and gave me a miniature rose-potting kit. Very sweet.

There was no religious school because of the President's Day holiday weekend.

Valentines...

Rachel got some lovely valentines from her classmates -- many handmade, containing lollipops or candy -- and I'm so glad we insisted she do them in return (hers included tattoo stickers of animals, which apparently went over really well).

Bad Mommy didn't attend her class Valentine's Day -- I will do better next year, I promise -- and today she unveiled a really clever card, with inserts! that she made Drew and me. It was in art class. Most of the other kids just made flat cards, but she took the time to do some creative touches which made the card really stand out. I told her I was very impressed, and it went right up on our mantel.

Neal, one of the class jokers, gave her TWO valentines -- one said "Be my valentine," which puzzled her. A girl in her class, Bennet, apparently has a "secret admirer" because she got two unsigned valentines and nobody knew who gave them to her! A class mystery that Rachel wants to write on the classroom blog, even though I urged her not to.

I was relieve to hear that Rachel thinks nothing of getting valentines from boys, even extra ones -- she still doesn't have any crushes yet. Hoping this lasts a long, long time.

Science Fair

Rachel had indicated several times last year that she wanted to do a science fair project for the school's annual Science Fair, which is this coming Thursday. She discussed various ideas -- comparing yawning rates between adults and kids, blinking rates -- that sort of thing.

Science Fair is totally optional for kids until they reach fourth and fifth grade, and then it's a requirement.

Earlier this week, she announced to Drew that she didn't want to do the fair because she's in a lot of activities and she was feeling stressed out (she also didn't want to do class valentines, either, which Drew said was optional, as per her teacher's instructions, but I shut that down firmly with a "She HAS to do valentines. That is NOT an option." Because the last thing I wanted was for her to get a ton of valentines and not give out any; it's a social thing, and I want her to be sensitive).

"WHAT," Drew said when she announced she didn't want to do the science fair. He freaked out and talked to me about it one night when I called home from work, and I told him that I'd talk to Rachel on the way to school the next day. I think, I told him, that she just feels as if she has to do it all by herself and that it would help if we told her that she isn't in it alone.

So, the next day, I said to her, "What's this about you not participating in the science fair?" "I have too many activities, and it's my decision," she said. "Um, no, it's not," I replied. I told her that she had committed to doing it, but that "Daddy and I will clear your schedule this week and next to help you. You have all of Saturday and Sunday off (there's no religious school because of the Presidents Day holiday Monday)."

"No swim lesson?" she said. I told her she could do swim lessons and gymnastics, and she reminded me that she had a playdate with Sydney. Which I said she could do, but that was it. And I told Drew later that she was excused for writing in the Mommy-daughter journal we keep every day so she can practice her writing (the entries are pretty good sometimes, and it gets her mind flowing).

Bottom line: She decided to measure blink rates in adults and kids, and Drew said she has really gotten into it, using a timer to time her friends and their parents, and they checked out a book about eyes to do research, and bought poster board on Friday, so now we are totally committed. I'm so glad we insisted that she follow through. It's a huge life lesson that I want her to internalize early.

Technology

This past Wednesday, Rachel's class had an open house for parents to come in and ooh and aah over the cool stuff their kids are doing on their iPads. I came, of course, looking about as dragged-out as it is possible for me to look -- I had worked a late shift the night before, slept in and had just enough time to throw on clothes and run my fingers through my hair before I had to go to school. (I hadn't showered because I was planning on heading to the pool afterward.)

Rachel's whole face lit up when she saw me -- clearly, she delights in my presence, which is very comforting these days -- and she eagerly showed me the iMovie she'd made, the games we could play (all educational, of course) and her CLASSROOM BLOG, which is the coolest thing ever but can only be accessed directly on her iPad, sigh. She clung to me when it was time to leave after 20 minutes and made me walk outside with everyone for outdoor recess -- and then she kindly showed me how to get to the main part of the school and the road home. Not so easy at it sounds, because there's construction everywhere.

I was in awe of the technological know-how she has. I was showing her my Twitter account tonight (which is pretty pathetic because I have only 132 followers, but I'm working on that), and she sighed and said, "Mommy, you're so good with computers." Um, not really, sweetie. You have already passed me on that front -- you just don't know it yet.

Working mom's dilemma

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia died -- in the middle of a Supreme Court term, in the middle of a wild and woolly presidential campaign, for God's sake -- and so I immediately volunteered to come in to work. Turns out that they don't need me tonight, but my boss asked if any of us would be available to work extra this week. I immediately emailed her that, sure, I'd be available Monday and Tuesday (I was scheduled to work Sunday, Wednesday and Thursday).

That's great news for me -- a fatter paycheck next week (we can really use the money) and it always helps to volunteer to assist during a huge breaking-news story. Or so I thought, until I informed Drew had Rachel what I'd done.

Rachel immediately burst into tears and stomped upstairs, threw herself on her bed and started sobbing. (She's under the weather today; this morning she said her head felt like it's "filled with oatmeal" and her nose is stuffed up; her throat hurts so much she can barely talk and she has been whispering most of the afternoon while she's working on her Science Fair project). "First, you didn't come to my Valentine's Day party, and THEN you're working on President's Day! The people at work get to see you more than I do, and it's NOT FAIR!"

I read something last week about parenting -- that kids don't respond if they're in the middle of a tantrum and you try to reason with them, like saying, "Well, sweetie, we need the money that I'm making, and it helps if I volunteer because then maybe they'll hire me full time, which means we may even afford to buy a house and take nice vacations," they just won't respond. So, I let her sob and get upset, and then I took her into my lap and explained that I know she feels a little cooped up, and nothing feels good when you're sick. Short of telling my boss that, forget it, I can't work those extra days, what would help?

"NOTHING," she insisted.

So, I suggested that I let her sleep with me tonight -- I'll put her in the guest room and crawl in beside her after Daddy and I have had some time along together (hopefully we'll get to watch a movie downstairs). That seemed to comfort her a little. Really, there's not much more I can do.

Shabbat dinner remarks

It was really, really cold yesterday (Friday), and I was out of sorts: I hadn't gotten enough sleep Thursday, so I was exhausted; and I arranged for a work colleague to come over to teach me about Twitter; and when I hauled myself out of a dead sleep to walk Rachel to school, Drew told me that he thought he was taking her in, which meant I forced myself awake for nothing (once I'm up in the morning, I can't go back to sleep). To top it all off, Rachel invited me to her class Valentine's Day party, and I had to say no because of my colleague coming over -- and she was so disappointed that she stomped off, and I scolded her a little for being mad (although, really, scolding her for expressing her emotions really isn't a good idea). I had to bring in strawberries, and I was hoping that Drew could do that so Rachel wouldn't have the chance to ask me to come. (In fairness, the party didn't need parent volunteers, or I would have signed up.)

Anyway.

When I got back home, I managed to stay awake long enough to run to a kick-your-butt fitness class that I do every Friday -- it's called Barre, and it's like ballet on steroids -- then to a bakery for a treat, and then home to meet my friend. We actually finished early enough for me to race to Rachel's class, but I hadn't showered and I desperately needed to sleep, so I crashed for an hour on the couch. Does that make me a bad mom?

When I picked up Rachel from school, she actually wanted to play with Sydney at extended day, so she asked me to hang out and wait. Drew and I discussed dinner (I hadn't planned on anything because I figured we'd go to a summer activities fair that ended up getting canceled because of fear of a snowstorm with bad ice that never actually ended up happening) and he made the brilliant offer to grill steaks outside (because although it's hideously cold, it's not raining or snowing -- his two disqualifiers for grilling). So, we ended up having a fabulous dinner of T-bone steaks, baked potatoes and roasted brussels sprouts -- a heavy dinner that was exactly what I wanted.

***

At dinner, Rachel said: "Dad got all Lord of the Rings-y with that parking space." (Turns out Drew was so excited to find an open space near school that he rubbed his hands together and said, 'My PRECIOUS!' with glee.)

Later, when I expressed an interest in watching last Sunday's episode of "Downton Abbey," Rachel said, "You can do book with me, or watch DOWNTON Abbey (with a thumbs-down sign and a terrible face) and get the silent treatment for a month").

Guess which one I chose?