Wistful Mommy and Little Girl

Nothing I am aware of precipitated the following exchange in the car on the way home from preschool tonight:

Rachel: I really wish I had a little brother or sister.
Me: You mean, a real one? (I was thinking, as opposed to a doll?)
Rachel: Yes.
Me: Why, sweetie?
Rachel (sniffling ever so slightly): Because I want to be a good big sister!

I could have said so many things, but instead I thought a minute and said, "We've tried, sweetie. I don't know if I've ever told you." She was silent and then we talked about the present we were going to buy for her little friend Tessa, whose 4th birthday party is this weekend.

***

At Fred Meyer, where we bought Tessa a Hello Kitty bingo game, Rachel suddenly started crying. "I'm worried no one's going to give me presents for MY birthday," she said.

I hugged her a couple of times and then gave her a gentle lecture on how it's good to give gifts to friends, and that just because we were buying a gift for Tessa didn't mean that Rachel wouldn't get hers eventually. In other words: Life is not a zero-sum game. I figured the zero-sum game part was too complicated to explain and besides, I'm no longer sure of it myself.


***

I ended up buying Rachel a new coloring book and a Cinderella/Beauty and the Beast story and sticker book. She was enchanted with the stickers and offered to give me five of them.

"Five!" I exclaimed. "That's a lot. I must be really special. Or, you must really like me."

"You ARE special and I DO like you," she said cheerfully. Ah, she makes me feel so good!!