The weird stuff Rachel says

A sampling from tonight:

The conversation for some reason had turned to hanging, and I mentioned that in long-ago times, kids used to be hanged for stealing (even in the United States), and that some countries still do that.

"I wouldn't want to be hanged," Rachel said. "I want to die freely, without people watching, in public."

***

I hadn't finished my salad when Drew announced he had finished dinner (Rachel had, too), and I said that I could skip dessert. Drew gave me a stern look and said no.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, your growth will be stunted," he said. "Oh, wait..."

Rachel cracked up. "Good one, Dad!" she exclaimed.

I, of course, finished my salad.

***

Many years ago Drew brought a kitchy Hanukkah thing called "Latke Larry" that moves and sings. I think it's dreadful, but he and Rachel think it's great and whenever I threaten to get rid of it when they're not looking, they say that will never happen. So, we're at an impasse.

Tonight, as we went into the study to open presents (it's where we've stashed everyone's gifts), Rachel announced, "Should we torture Mommy and bring up Latke Larry."

Luckily, she and Drew decided to let him be, hidden in a closet in the basement.