More Rachel

Two nights ago we were at the dinner table and, apropos of nothing, Rachel suddenly said this:

"No, no, no, no throwing food."

I started laughing. "OK," I replied. "I wouldn't even THINK of it."

"No throwing a fit, either," she added sternly. "I don't like it when you throw temper tantrums."

Yes, living with a toddler is like living in an alternate universe. Correction: It IS an alternate universe.

***

Rachel is bringing more and more songs home from school and she's also substituting her own words in familiar tunes. Yesterday on the way to work she sang:

Patty-cake, patty-cake, baker's man
Bake me a cake as fast as you can
Roll it and pat it, and mark it with an 'R,"
And put it in the oven for Mommy and Daddy and Rachel and me!

Tonight the song was a version of a song at school: Rachel has a white shirt, white shirt, white shirt/Rachel has a white shirt/all day long."

We decided that:
Daddy has a green shirt
Grandma has a white shirt
Grandpa has a blue shirt
Mommy has gray pants (I wore gray jeans to work today)

She also had shirts for Abby Cadaby, Bob and Delly but I forget what they were.

***

Yesterday morning we hit the mother of all traffic jams on I-5 south; construction (I think) had closed two lanes. I fumed and worried (even though I had no appointments in Salem that morning) but kept my temper. Somehow Rachel and I got onto the following discussion track:

"I'm not going away!" Rachel insisted.
"Promise?" I said.
"No!" Rachel repeated.
"Someday you may want to go away to college," I said.
"No!" Rachel said.
Pause.
"I want Mommy to take me to college," she said.
Pause.
"How 'bout Mommy and Daddy and Abby Cadaby and Bob and Delly take me to college?"

Sure, Rachel -- we'll all pile into the SUV and have a grand old time driving you to Stanford!

***

We were reading a book version of "Sunrise Sunset," and Rachel amazed me by saying, a page before the wedding scene, "They're getting married?"
"How did you KNOW that, Rachel?" I said, stunned. (We hadn't read the book in many weeks).

She smiled. I was filled with warm, tender feelings of my smart little girl getting married one day, watching her under the canopy, trying not to cry...when she saw the picture of the couple with their baby. She started making munching noises and grabbed the page with her teeth.

"I want to EAT the baby!" she exclaimed. "The baby is a TOMATO!"

***

Break my heart: In the car yesterday Rachel asked plaintively, "When I cry, can you be a little patient with me and not say 'shhh?'"

Of course, honey. You're obviously the better human being of both of us!

***

"When I grow up, I'm gonna be a mommy and YOU'RE gonna be a mommy!" Rachel exclaimed. Then she asked forlornly a couple minutes later, "Mommy, can you have another baby?"