Yes, I know all of you are waiting for Part 1. Promise it will come later this week, when I have the time to really sit down and digest all the wonerfulness that we have been a part of the last week or so.
Tonight was Rachel's "real" birthday. Can it be that I really have a delightful 4-year-old in my house? How did I get to be so lucky? Rachel walked into the bathroom this morning as I was blow-drying my hair. I was really glad to see her because I had to leave early for a dentist's appointment and I really didn't want to go before I got to sing "Happy Birthday." Which I did. Twice. It was awesome. Rachel gave me a big hug on the leg.
After I got home from work (Drew had already started the baked chicken and shells), I had time to talk to Drew -- alone -- since Richard had graciously taken Rachel to the playground down the street. (This is something both of us remarked upon, that this is what it would feel like to have relatives in town who'd take Rachel off somewhere, if only for a little while, so we could get things done around the house. And maybe go on a date or two).
Richard said Rachel exhausted him with everything she's able to do on the playground -- including scaling the kiddie climbing wall. "I'm climbing K2!" she exclaimed. "And I'm climbing it without even DYING! Are you SO PROUD of me?"
Yes, Rachel, we're always proud of you -- even if you never really climb K2. In fact, we would prefer that you didn't.
We spent much of the meal reminding Rachel what she used to be scared of: Grass. (As a toddler, she refused to walk on it). Mommy's hair dryer. The vacuum cleaner. The mixer. The Dustbuster. Dogs. Not much else -- this is the kid who went down the kiddie slide headfirst when she was 18 months old (scaring poor Grandma to death the one time she witnessed it).
"What things do you want to do when you grow up that you can't do as a kid?" Richard asked her. She came up with this list:
--reach the microwave
--drink tea
--drink wine
--plant stuff
--pick apples all by myself
--play a tuba
--wear bras
--have a permanent tattoo ("No!" I yelled. "Not until you're 18 and out of my house!")
It was quite a day in school, too -- the teachers were very excited to see the chocolate chip cake I baked (Teacher Erin had been hinting for weeks that it would be a really, really good idea if I baked that for Rachel's school birthday celebration) and Rachel got to wear a gold crown. "Guess what?" Rachel said at dinner. "I got to choose the blackberries and sleep in the tent; everything extra special. And I didn't tell you THIS, Mommy -- we got Slurpees! And I got pink! And I ate my Slurpee ALL GONE!"
After dinner we headed out to Baskin Robbins for a special ice cream treat -- it was blazing hot outside so that definitely helped. We all walked around a bit, then returned home. Richard read a book, I cleaned up from dinner, Drew gave Rachel a bath and put her to bed, and now we're all getting ready to leave tomorrow: Richard back to North Carolina (boo), me to Bend for a work trip, Rachel back to school and Drew back to work. Only one more day remains for the Celebration of Rachel: Shabbat on the Plaza on Friday night. It's the summer outdoor service with a special blessing for all the July birthdays. Then we'll bring Rachel home and surprise her with Mommy and Daddy's big present.
Happy birthday, darling girl! You are a way better daughter than either of us deserve.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Rachel knows a lot more than I think she does
One of the toys Rachel got for her birthday was a stuffed
rabbit called “Doodle”, because it comes with markers that you can draw designs
with on the rabbit. I decided to voice it, so now Rachel has an ongoing
conversation with Doodle as she tries to explain the world to her (it’s
apparently a “she” rather than a “he”). I answer in a little squeaky voice.
Rachel is apparently Doodle’s big sister, which breaks my
heart because I can see what a wonderful big sister she really would be if I
had had the foresight to give her a sibling (preferably a baby brother; she’d
be great at it). She has taken to explaining to Doodle how the world works.
Here’s how she was describing Earth:
“We live on Earth. It’s not like other planets that are too
hot or too cold. It’s not too warm, not too hot, not too breezy and not too
stormy. It’s just right.”
(OK, it sounded suspiciously like a description of the three
bears’ porridge. But still…I was impressed she even has a rudimentary sense of
our solar system. Way to go Rachel!)
Then she started describing a house: “We live in a house.
Some people live in houses but they don’t have enough money for beds or for
furniture. So we can give them money.”
I have no idea where she picked that up, but let me tell
you, it was entertaining as hell listening to her in the front seat. I could
listen to her little voice go on for HOURS.
Something new we’ve started: A variation on the game of each
of us thinking of a new word that matches the first letter of the word we just
said. Now we think of opposites (I taught her the word “antonym” and “synonym”
tonight. We did a little of both). It was really fun; I hope she continues to
be interested.
Best thing about last night, after a rough day at work: As we
cuddled in bed, she wanted me to sing one verse of a song we know, and she
sings the next, then I pick it up, etc. She made up this idea herself. So tonight
we each sang a verse of “Red
River Valley”
and “You Are My Sunshine.” She really has a lovely little voice and it was so
great to be able to sing together. I’m hoping someday we can do duets at the
piano or guitar, with her strumming or fingering the keys and both of us
trading off verses.
Sometimes I can’t believe how far we’ve come.
Mommy makes a big mistake
Last night I took Rachel to see “Brave,” the new Disney
movie about a free-spirited Scottish princess whose mother, the queen, wants
her to be decorous and obedient and marry a young man from one of the area
clans, but the princess, a master with a bow and arrow, has other ideas and
instead clashes with the queen so much that the princess finally visits a witch
and asks for a spell that will make her mother change her mind about marrying
her off. Well, the spell goes awry, the mom gets changed into a bear, and then
it’s the princess’ job to undo the spell. All ends happily, with the mother
hugging the daughter and the daughter and her mom going on a horse ride out in
the wilderness together.
You could imagine how verklempt that would make me. I was
dying to take Rachel to this movie because it was the first one Disney has made
with a tough heroine with messy hair and a mind of her own. We got hot dogs and
popcorn beforehand (“Save the popcorn for the show, Mommy,” Rachel ordered me
severely) and then went into the movie. Our first mother-daughter date! Mommy
and Rachel going to see a real chick flick! Just the start of many, many movies
we’ll see together!
Um, not so much. Rachel was terrified. TERRIFIED. At one
point she started sobbing and then said, “I don’t EVER want to see this movie
again!” I can’t blame her. I was furious at Disney for promoting this as an
animated kids’ flick when, really, it was more suitable for kids who are, like,
10. (My fault; it’s rated PG, but still). I am done with any movie that isn’t
“My Little Pony.” Rachel is just too young and sweet for any nastiness,
although she keeps telling us to tell her spooky stories, so…I guess I thought
she was ready for “Brave.” I guess not.
I apologized more than once for taking her to a scary movie.
“It’s OK Mom,” she said reassuringly after I soothed her with a chocolate
cupcake when we got home. “I forgive you.”
But mostly I was frustrated and mad at myself. It was I who projected my desires onto Rachel – my desire to see the movie and share the experience with the daughter who is way more wonderful than I deserve – and instead I ended up traumatizing her. Is this what’s going to happen when I push her into playing the piano, or studying math and science, or taking up baseball, when all she really wants to do is be a shepherdess in the San Juans when she grows up? Sigh.
Cute Rachel sayings:
“I can’t WAIT to grow up!” She said while we were eating
dinner at the movie theater last night.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because…I can get married,” she said.
“What’s so great about being married?” I asked.
“Because I can have a wedding dress!” she said.
Um, there’s a lot more to marriage than that, kid.
“Guess what?” she said. “On Thursday PopPop’s gonna leave.
That’s a bummer!”
Yeah, it is.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Great conversation snippets with TLG
It's kind of one-way these days; Rachel sitting in the back seat while I drag her around on errands and she pipes up with, "Hey Mommy, guess what?" and we're off to the races. I can barely keep up, let alone write things down..."
Tonight on the way to the craft store to buy all manner of decorations for her cake:
"Know what my three favorite lunches are? Rollups, peanut butter and jelly, and cheese quesadillas."
"Can you believe it's day and summer, and in Australia it's dark and winter? It's the opposite!"
"What's the universe?"
"You know what? There's a lot of stars in the woods. I'm not scared. Are you scared?"
Only that soon I won't be able to keep up with you, sweetie.
Tonight on the way to the craft store to buy all manner of decorations for her cake:
"Know what my three favorite lunches are? Rollups, peanut butter and jelly, and cheese quesadillas."
"Can you believe it's day and summer, and in Australia it's dark and winter? It's the opposite!"
"What's the universe?"
"You know what? There's a lot of stars in the woods. I'm not scared. Are you scared?"
Only that soon I won't be able to keep up with you, sweetie.
A few words about Free to be...you and me
I don't know how we came into possession of this recording from the 1970s, but...wow. Rachel put it in the CD player the other day and she has fallen in love with the story of Atalanta, retold for then-modern audiences and partly voiced by Alan Alda. I'm really amazed at how well it has held up.
A few of the songs made me cry. One of them is about a boy named William who loves playing with dolls...as well as baseball, badminton, etc. His father is worried, his older brother calls him an idiot, and then it's wise Grandma who takes his father aside (I'm guessing Grandma is the dad's mom, not the mom's mom) and tells him to stop worrying, that it's great that William likes to play with dolls because he'll have to diaper and hold and love his OWN little kids one day. It made me cry because more than 30 years after this CD came out, we are STILL assigning (if unconsciously) gender stereotypes to boys and girls. Witness all the fuss over the blog and, eventually, the book deal from the mom who was outraged when fellow moms at her boy's school tsk-tsked when her son insisted on wearing girl clothes. I fear we really haven't come very far since then.
There's also another song about a kid who has no friends; he has just moved to a new town and he meets Naomi, who also has no friends, so they form a "no friends" club. The kid describes himself and his life in the sort of stream-of-consciousness fashion that made me wonder if he's autistic. Certainly something not many people talked about 30 years ago.
And there's a girl whose grandma comes over when the girl's parents go on vacation. The grandma is scolding and grumpy and the song changes into a song about "Goodbye to Girl-Land," or something like that, and it made me stop and pause and wonder if I'm too grumpy and tired and anxious and worried (yes). I hate to think that will be Rachel's memories of me when she was a little girl.
Anyway, it's a great CD and I'm glad I (re)discovered it. As to the gender stereotyping, there's not much of that going on in my house. Rachel may be way into princesses and pink and purple and fairies and unicorns and wands and sparkles, but for her birthday party Drew has bought...water guns. For everyone. Heaven help us.
A few of the songs made me cry. One of them is about a boy named William who loves playing with dolls...as well as baseball, badminton, etc. His father is worried, his older brother calls him an idiot, and then it's wise Grandma who takes his father aside (I'm guessing Grandma is the dad's mom, not the mom's mom) and tells him to stop worrying, that it's great that William likes to play with dolls because he'll have to diaper and hold and love his OWN little kids one day. It made me cry because more than 30 years after this CD came out, we are STILL assigning (if unconsciously) gender stereotypes to boys and girls. Witness all the fuss over the blog and, eventually, the book deal from the mom who was outraged when fellow moms at her boy's school tsk-tsked when her son insisted on wearing girl clothes. I fear we really haven't come very far since then.
There's also another song about a kid who has no friends; he has just moved to a new town and he meets Naomi, who also has no friends, so they form a "no friends" club. The kid describes himself and his life in the sort of stream-of-consciousness fashion that made me wonder if he's autistic. Certainly something not many people talked about 30 years ago.
And there's a girl whose grandma comes over when the girl's parents go on vacation. The grandma is scolding and grumpy and the song changes into a song about "Goodbye to Girl-Land," or something like that, and it made me stop and pause and wonder if I'm too grumpy and tired and anxious and worried (yes). I hate to think that will be Rachel's memories of me when she was a little girl.
Anyway, it's a great CD and I'm glad I (re)discovered it. As to the gender stereotyping, there's not much of that going on in my house. Rachel may be way into princesses and pink and purple and fairies and unicorns and wands and sparkles, but for her birthday party Drew has bought...water guns. For everyone. Heaven help us.
Monday, July 2, 2012
The stuff she says....
Picked up Rachel from preschool today and we went straight to Grant Park, where she showed me all the things she can do on the play structure there. About the only thing she CAN'T do is the monkey bars by herself, but I'm sure she'll master it by the end of the summer. Then it's a race to find something that will challenge her. Rock climbing, anyone??
***
"Know who would like a milk fountain?" Rachel asked at dinner tonight.
"No," I answered. "Who?"
"A COW," she said.
That makes sense.
***
Introducing Drew, the Dark Ages expert:
"Did you know that in the old days, taking a bath in water wwas bad for you?" Rachel asked tonight.
"Who told you that?" I asked, amused.
"Daddy!" she answered.
***
I was wondering aloud how Noah, who will be the sole boy at Rachel's party Saturday, would feel being, well, the only boy there.
"He'll be OK," Rachel said reassuringly.
"You don't think he'll be lonely?" I asked.
"No, he'll be with me!" she said. "We're friends!"
***
Apropos of nothing, Rachel announced tonight:
"When I go to college, I can wear my hair whatever I want. I can wear it long, or in braids, or short, and that kind of stuff."
Sweetie, I think you'll be wanting control over your hair long before then....
***
Who is this child? I told Rachel she needed to clean up the living-room picnic and block castle she'd built before dinner. It was getting late and we needed to do books, washing, brushing, etc.
"I'll help you," I offered, leaning down to pick up the tea set (the one that Tia Daniella got her and she uses EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, Thank You Tia Daniella!!)
"No! Do not help me!" Rachel insisted. "I did it. You did not!"
***
"Know who would like a milk fountain?" Rachel asked at dinner tonight.
"No," I answered. "Who?"
"A COW," she said.
That makes sense.
***
Introducing Drew, the Dark Ages expert:
"Did you know that in the old days, taking a bath in water wwas bad for you?" Rachel asked tonight.
"Who told you that?" I asked, amused.
"Daddy!" she answered.
***
I was wondering aloud how Noah, who will be the sole boy at Rachel's party Saturday, would feel being, well, the only boy there.
"He'll be OK," Rachel said reassuringly.
"You don't think he'll be lonely?" I asked.
"No, he'll be with me!" she said. "We're friends!"
***
Apropos of nothing, Rachel announced tonight:
"When I go to college, I can wear my hair whatever I want. I can wear it long, or in braids, or short, and that kind of stuff."
Sweetie, I think you'll be wanting control over your hair long before then....
***
Who is this child? I told Rachel she needed to clean up the living-room picnic and block castle she'd built before dinner. It was getting late and we needed to do books, washing, brushing, etc.
"I'll help you," I offered, leaning down to pick up the tea set (the one that Tia Daniella got her and she uses EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, Thank You Tia Daniella!!)
"No! Do not help me!" Rachel insisted. "I did it. You did not!"
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Showtime!
Today my chorus, Pride of Portland, is performing twice -- once at a matinee and then again at night. It's part of the men's international convention, which is here in Portland over the July 4th holiday. Rachel got the chance to see me get ready this morning; our call for a 2 p.m. performance was at 11 a.m. and I started getting ready around 9:30 (the venue, an auditorium at the University of Portland, is about 20 minutes away). Since we're under stage lights, our makeup is quite heavy -- Drew says it looks like I've used a trowel to apply it, and he's right. When I finished, Rachel and Drew were getting ready to head to a haircut appointment for her. She looked at my face and said, "Wow, you're wearing A LOT of makeup!" I gave her a little bit of colored lip gloss to make her feel like she's a part of the team, and then they left.
The performance went really well, and the best part was having Drew and Rachel in the audience. When we finished we walked up into the seating area and Rachel immediately ran over to me and sat in my lap. She had gotten her face painted at the Tigard farmer's market and the face painter did a really good job; Rachel's forehead had a unicorn on it, with hearts and flowers curling near the sides of her eyes, which were covered in purple eyeshadow. Everyone remarked how cute she looked and how big she was getting, and one of the chorus members, Annie Hardt, reminded Rachel that she had seen her just after she was born (it's true, Annie came to visit me in the hospital a few hours after my C-section).
Rachel, by the way, LOVED our performance. "Maybe Ryan will let me sing on the stage with you," she said wistfully, and tried to find him when it was over. "You're the goodest chorus in the whole WORLD!" she said, and everyone was delighted to hear the compliment. Now I'm home for a short break and then I'll head back to UP at 7:30. We're going to sing at around 8:15 or so, the show should be over by 9 and then I'll come home and probably clean the house for two hours before collapsing into bed. What a weekend!!
Today's Rachelisms:
"In Rachel Land, there are no school days," Rachel announced while I was making the bed this morning (we've developed a game where she'll throw me the stuffed animals we keep on the bed and I'll voice the animals, which Rachel finds hilarious). She was lying on the pillows while I changed the sheets and bed covers (it finally appears to be getting warm here!).
"None?" I asked. "What do you do all day?"
"We go shopping," Rachel said. "And everyone buys things for ME."
Oh, wouldn't that be anyone's fondest wish?
***
"Daddy, you can't mess things up," Rachel told Drew at breakfast. "No knocking down castles that Mommy and I build."
Literally or figuratively? I didn't ask.
The performance went really well, and the best part was having Drew and Rachel in the audience. When we finished we walked up into the seating area and Rachel immediately ran over to me and sat in my lap. She had gotten her face painted at the Tigard farmer's market and the face painter did a really good job; Rachel's forehead had a unicorn on it, with hearts and flowers curling near the sides of her eyes, which were covered in purple eyeshadow. Everyone remarked how cute she looked and how big she was getting, and one of the chorus members, Annie Hardt, reminded Rachel that she had seen her just after she was born (it's true, Annie came to visit me in the hospital a few hours after my C-section).
Rachel, by the way, LOVED our performance. "Maybe Ryan will let me sing on the stage with you," she said wistfully, and tried to find him when it was over. "You're the goodest chorus in the whole WORLD!" she said, and everyone was delighted to hear the compliment. Now I'm home for a short break and then I'll head back to UP at 7:30. We're going to sing at around 8:15 or so, the show should be over by 9 and then I'll come home and probably clean the house for two hours before collapsing into bed. What a weekend!!
Today's Rachelisms:
"In Rachel Land, there are no school days," Rachel announced while I was making the bed this morning (we've developed a game where she'll throw me the stuffed animals we keep on the bed and I'll voice the animals, which Rachel finds hilarious). She was lying on the pillows while I changed the sheets and bed covers (it finally appears to be getting warm here!).
"None?" I asked. "What do you do all day?"
"We go shopping," Rachel said. "And everyone buys things for ME."
Oh, wouldn't that be anyone's fondest wish?
***
"Daddy, you can't mess things up," Rachel told Drew at breakfast. "No knocking down castles that Mommy and I build."
Literally or figuratively? I didn't ask.
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