Mommy makes a big mistake

Last night I took Rachel to see “Brave,” the new Disney movie about a free-spirited Scottish princess whose mother, the queen, wants her to be decorous and obedient and marry a young man from one of the area clans, but the princess, a master with a bow and arrow, has other ideas and instead clashes with the queen so much that the princess finally visits a witch and asks for a spell that will make her mother change her mind about marrying her off. Well, the spell goes awry, the mom gets changed into a bear, and then it’s the princess’ job to undo the spell. All ends happily, with the mother hugging the daughter and the daughter and her mom going on a horse ride out in the wilderness together.

You could imagine how verklempt that would make me. I was dying to take Rachel to this movie because it was the first one Disney has made with a tough heroine with messy hair and a mind of her own. We got hot dogs and popcorn beforehand (“Save the popcorn for the show, Mommy,” Rachel ordered me severely) and then went into the movie. Our first mother-daughter date! Mommy and Rachel going to see a real chick flick! Just the start of many, many movies we’ll see together!

Um, not so much. Rachel was terrified. TERRIFIED. At one point she started sobbing and then said, “I don’t EVER want to see this movie again!” I can’t blame her. I was furious at Disney for promoting this as an animated kids’ flick when, really, it was more suitable for kids who are, like, 10. (My fault; it’s rated PG, but still). I am done with any movie that isn’t “My Little Pony.” Rachel is just too young and sweet for any nastiness, although she keeps telling us to tell her spooky stories, so…I guess I thought she was ready for “Brave.” I guess not.

I apologized more than once for taking her to a scary movie. “It’s OK Mom,” she said reassuringly after I soothed her with a chocolate cupcake when we got home. “I forgive you.”

But mostly I was frustrated and mad at myself. It was I who projected my desires onto Rachel – my desire to see the movie and share the experience with the daughter who is way more wonderful than I deserve – and instead I ended up traumatizing her. Is this what’s going to happen when I push her into playing the piano, or studying math and science, or taking up baseball, when all she really wants to do is be a shepherdess in the San Juans when she grows up? Sigh.

Cute Rachel sayings:

“I can’t WAIT to grow up!” She said while we were eating dinner at the movie theater last night.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because…I can get married,” she said.

“What’s so great about being married?” I asked.

“Because I can have a wedding dress!” she said.

Um, there’s a lot more to marriage than that, kid.

“Guess what?” she said. “On Thursday PopPop’s gonna leave. That’s a bummer!”

Yeah, it is.