Movie Day

Yesterday, Monday, was raining so we all decided to go to see "Rogue One," the new Star Wars movie. Rachel insisted that Auntie Rachel and Daddy sit next to her, so I was relegated to the aisle seat (I really didn't mind; the Rachels don't get to see one another that often, so the more time and space they can share, the better).

It really was an amazing movie, but we all felt logy at the end of it, and both Rachels said they wanted naps. I had to go to work, so after a quick stop at Trader Joe's to get me salads, we came back home, I made hot chocolate from scratch because the Rachels both decided they wanted to watch the very first "Star Wars" movie, and we had a quick Skype session with Tia Daniella and Valerie before I left for The Post.

As we were walking back from the movie to the car, RD (as opposed to Auntie Rachel, who is RJ), and I got into an earnest discussion about how to eat various junk foods. She says she eats popcorn (like she did in the movie) by holding it in her mouth before it disintegrates on her tongue. Then I said that I eat Cheetos by letting them melt in my mouth, and she said that she eats Doritos by licking the cheese off and eating the rest. I mentioned that that was totally gross.

"The fact that we're talking about ways to eat food shows that we have a lot of time on our hands," she observed.

Happy New Year!

One of my new year's resolutions is to write more on this blog, and I apologize to everyone for shamefully neglecting it. Um, I've been a little bit busy. As blog entries happen this year, I will fill everyone in on what has been going on.

We welcomed in 2017 with style, and in a way that I hope will create lasting memories for Rachel. A few highlights:

--Our friends Jeff, Crystal and their not-quite-3-year-old, Julia, joined us for a New Year's Eve/last night of Hanukkah dinner at our house. They arrived at 6, and we had a lot to do before then -- last-minute errands, food prep, setting the table, etc. I reorganized our tablecloths and cloth napkins and was pleased to discover, as was Drew, that we could return $65 worth of linens to Bed, Bath and Beyond. Then I laid a lovely Hanukkah-themed tablecloth down on our table, which we expanded to two leaves to fit everyone, and the cloth fit perfectly. Yay! We roasted a capon and I made latkes and brussels sprouts, with the welcome assistance of Rachel Jones, who is staying with us through next weekend. Jeff bought a homemade chocolate peanut butter cheesecake that he had made in his pressure cooker, and I don't even like cheesecake but it was FABULOUS. Little Rachel was lovely with Julia -- at one point, when Julia said she wanted to go to the potty for the 3rd time and poor Crystal and Jeff had barely started eating, Rachel offered to take her upstairs. And when they were getting to leave, Julia said to Rachel, "Go upstairs and take nap?" And Rachel very quickly and wisely said, "You can go to your OWN house and nap there!" I tell ya, that kid will be a great babysitter someday.

--Then, after we had gotten a good head start on cleaning, the second wave arrived -- Moriah and Lenore. I work with Moriah at The Post (she's an education reporter and is constantly telling me how smart Rachel is) and Lenore is Moriah's friend. They were all dressed up to party, but stopped over for dessert and brought pecan pie. They had my homemade cookies (I had baked five different cookies to distribute to friends and neighbors but still had a lot left) and we chatted a bit. Rachel had been asking all night, "When are the YOUNG people coming?" and she had a great time dispensing relationship advice to Moriah and Lenore, who are single but recently have had their share of boyfriend mishaps.

--About 15 minutes before they left, the third wave arrived -- Jamila, a friend of Rachel Jones's, and her friend Daniela, who is from Brazil and is a PhD candidate at the University of Texas in Austin but is visiting Daniela for the weekend. They were similarly dressed up in shimmery outfits, and at one point, Jamila (who has met Little Rachel before and is charmed by her), took it upon herself to teach her to salsa dance. We captured it all on video, and it is HILARIOUS. They had a great time, and when Jamila and Daniela mentioned that they hadn't eaten dinner, we pressed them to try our leftovers -- we had enough capon, latkes and brussels sprouts to feed them -- and they were so grateful! They loved the food and the homemade cookies.

They left around 11, and Drew and I finished almost all of the cleaning. We had a fire gong, and Rachel Jones and I had some whiskey that we downed at the stroke of midnight, and Little Rachel shrieked, "Happy New Year!" (We had allowed her to stay up after she promised to get washed changed into her jimmies and go right to bed and go to bed early tonight, which we are holding her to if it kills us.) We all hugged and kissed, and then Rachel Jones and I decided our new year's resolution was to "Own It." She went up to bed, then I helped Drew a bit and then I went up to bed, and that was the end of a wonderful, chaotic, heartbreaking, life-affirming 2016.

Bring it, 2017! I'm ready for ya.

Sleepover list

Here is a list of things that Rachel drew up for what she and Valerie planned for their sleepover:

Sleepover to Do List
1. Pillow Fights
2. Karaoke
e. Dress Up
4. Movie (maybe)
5. Makeovers
6. Reading
7. Snacks
8. Talking
9. Games
10. Electronics (I was pleased to see this halfway down the list and not first)
11. Dancing
12. Music
13. Drawing
14. Hairstyling
15. Maybe Sleeping
16. Laughing Ha ha ha!
17. Blanket forts
18. Obtacle courses
19. Gymnastics
20. Nail Polish
21. Watch TV

I think they did most of it.

Fourth of July!

We had a fantastic 4th of July celebration, filled with family -- PopPop, Tia Daniella, Darryl and Valerie joined us. Some highlights:

--Tia Daniella, Darryl and Valerie arrived on Saturday night and we met them at Capital Brewing Company, a great restaurant and brewpub that we like. The girls were very cute, saying "please" and "thank you" as they ordered, and generally charming the waiter.

--On Monday, I was interviewed by Wisconsin Pubic Radio for a story I wrote in June about efforts to write LGBT people into American history. Before then, PopPop, Daniella, Darryl, Valerie, Drew and Rachel and I went to the American History Museum because it threatened rain. Afterward, I met them in time to grab a quick dinner (in the rain) and watch the fireworks (in the fog, and the view wasn't so great because the lights were obscured and the ground was too wet to sit). One of these holidays, we will have the perfect weather we had in 2014, when we sat on a blanket near the Reflecting Pool and watched the fireworks unobstructed. That night, the girls had their first sleepover at our house.

--On Tuesday, PopPop, Daniella, Darryl, Valerie, Rachel and I visited Uncle Dan. We brought a pizza and salad, and we spent four hours sitting and talking and catching up. (Daniella said she wished we had had more time together.) It was really a great visit, and Dan seemed happy to see us. That night, we went out with Richard and Drew, and the girls had their second sleepover.

--On Wednesday, Daniella and Darryl came to pick Valerie up and we said our goodbyes -- but not before the girls had a chance to paint downstairs and Valerie played in the backyard to take a break from the TV show they were watching -- it may have been "Teen Titans."

Anyway, the girls had a great time.

Last day of school

School runs quite late here, and it wasn't until Friday, June 24, that Rachel was finally done.

I volunteered to bring over sidewalk chalk and help supervise games at Madison Manor Park, which is within walking distance of our house, where the entire 2nd-grade class was having its end-of-year party. When I arrived at my designated time, about 11 p.m., any effort at organization had deteriorated. Kids were wheeling each other around in a little red wagon, hanging out on the play structure, playing with soccer balls in the field.

Rachel was upset that all the other kids had had their turn in the wagon and Sydney wanted to pull her around in it. No one was letting that happen, and so she came to me, teary-eyed and whining a bit that "It's not FAIR!" Having just dealt with the Sydney issue, I didn't want to barge in and insist that the other kids give Rachel a turn. So I looked at her and said, "FIGHT FOR IT!"

I walked away to talk to a parent, and later saw that Sydney and Rachel had prevailed and that Sydney was pushing her around.

The best part was when Rachel came up to me afterward and said, "Thanks, Mom. That was good advice." I was floored.

Father's Day!

We had a wonderful Father's Day visit with Grandma and Grandpa.

I met them for dinner on Thursday night before the weekend, and then on Friday we toured Arlington National Cemetery. (I had been before, but walked only a bit of it, to John F. Kennedy's grave -- only to find out it was closed for repairs. This was soon after we arrived in D.C. in 2013.)

Mom, Dad and I ended up taking a tour on wheels -- and, man, did we see and learn a lot. The weather was perfect, just like summer in Oregon, and it was longer and more informative than I thought it would be. So glad that we got to see the cemetery that way.

That night they came over for roast lamb, popovers and a berry tart. We all had a great time talking and laughing.

On Saturday, we toured Hillwood Gardens, the home and gardens of Marjorie Merriweather Post, which I had deliberately not done until I could see it with them. Rachel was somewhat impressed with the lavish interior -- Post was quite a collector -- and then we had a great time touring the outside. Rachel really impressed Drew and me with her insistence on pushing Grandma's wheelchair, holding her purse when needed, etc. It's as if she grew into the role of junior caregiver by knowing instinctively that she had to step up. What can I say? It was astonishing to watch.

We had arranged for a babysitter Saturday night, which Rachel was very happy about -- she occasionally urges us to go out on dates -- and then Mom, Dad, Drew and I went to the Oval Room, a fancy restaurant near the White House, and then back to Arlington to Buzz Bakery, our favorite cupcake place. It was great fun insisting that Mom and Dad take cupcakes back to NY with them.

On Sunday we met them for a Father's Day brunch at the hotel. Rachel wore a very grown-up maxi-length tie-dye dress and sandals, and snuggled in Drew's arms for most of the brunch. Then we said our goodbyes, with Rachel pushing Grandma in her wheelchair yet again.

Altogether, it was a lovely weekend.

End-of-year report card

Here is what Rachel's teachers had to say:

--Ms. Burke: It was a pleasure watching Rachel learn and grow this year in second grade! She has shown great growth both academically and socially. She is very responsible and always eager to learn. Rachel is reading above grade level and successfully participated in literature circles. While I know she is a voracious reader, please continue to encourage her to read independently over the summer. Rachel demonstrated mastery of second grade math concepts and showed an improvement in her perseverance when given challenging material. She also learned the basics of multiplication as well as various strategies for solving multiplication problems. This is a skill that students are expected to master in third grade, so practicing her times tables up to 5's over the summer would be a great way to keep those skills fresh. Rachel had a great end to a wonderful year and I have no doubt that she will continue to thrive in third grade!

--Mr. Aubrey (phys. ed): Rachel worked well with her peers this quarter. She was creative and competitive during our Bean Bag Bocce unit. I look forward to watching her improvement next year.

--M. Mautawalli (art): Rachel is doing a wonderful job in art class expressing herself effectively. I really liked the tin can flower pot Rachel created in art class.

Sydney, Part 2

So, while I was still upset over the whole Sydney/end-of-the-year party incident, Rachel did something that I thought was pretty remarkable.

She told Sydney, or Sydney somehow found out, that Simone would, in fact, be coming to her party. She demanded of Rachel, "Why did you invite her?"

"I didn't invite her, my mom did," Rachel said.

"Tell her not to do that!" Sydney said.

"No," Rachel replied. "Simone is my friend."

"Oh, FINE," Sydney apparently said, and stomped off.

That kid is headed for "mean girl" status in middle school, if not before, and I find it extremely difficult to be pleasant to her these days (although I must say that the few times she's been in the house, she is noticeably more polite that she used to be. Probably because she senses that Drew and I just will not put up with bullshit). I just hope that Rachel won't stick with her or put up with abuse because of loyalty. But her standing up for herself was a good start.

A conversation with Ms. Burke

So, I was so upset about what had happened with Sydney and Simone that I ended up talking with Ms. Burke about it. (In addition, Kelly, the mom of one of Rachel's friends, Libby, had mentioned that Rachel and Sydney seemed to spend all their time together and that she tried to separate them at Brownie meetings because they were monopolizing each other. And, more disturbingly, that Sydney was unfriendly to Kelly and that Rachel, when she was in Sydney's company, was unfriendly, too. Kelly said that it seemed that a cloud had come over Rachel this year, which I pegged to Sydney's influence.)

Ms. Burke, who is something like 26, said she would talk to her mom, who is also a teacher, about how she had kept her daughter away from girls who were bad influences in middle school. But she clearly remembers that there was one girl that her mother forbade her to have sleepovers with (even though, Ms. Burke acknowledged, she probably could have handled the situation on her own and her father would have okayed the sleepovers because he wasn't really aware of what was going on).

She also, much to my relief, said she would recommend against Rachel and Sydney being placed in the same third-grade class next year. Drew and I plan to write a letter to the principal reinforcing that next month, just to be sure.

Sydney

At the annual McKinley auction, Drew and I successfully bid on some free passes to Flight, bounce house about an hour away. We told Rachel that she could invite three friends, and she chose Sydney, Simone and Kennedy. She said she'd take care of asking all three.

A few nights before the event, we asked Rachel who was coming. She said that Simone had declined because she has a free pass to Flight and could go anytime. That seemed odd to me, especially since I had told Simone's dad, Larry, about the party during the botanic gardens field trip. (Simone has a lot of activities and family things, so it's hard to catch her for a playdate, and I was especially interested in her coming to this one.)

I emailed Larry about Simone's refusal and he said that seemed odd to him, too.

I came to learn that what happened was that Sydney had expressed displeasure about Simone coming, and Simone heard about it and said she didn't care. When Drew and I finally got that out of Rachel, I was absolutely livid. I told Rachel in no uncertain terms that from now on, Mom and Dad would be in charge of invitations. Then I marched into the study, called Larry and just plunged in: I explained the confusion, apologized for it and said we would LOVE to have Simone come. I ended up planning the timing around an event Simone had to go to the day of the party.

Larry mentioned that it was sad that Sydney was being a "mean girl" and trying to get the other kids to bend to her will, and I agreed -- and grimly resolved to myself that I would never let this happen again.

Class blog

Yes, Rachel's class had its own blog this year. Here is what Rachel posted in mid-June:

I have never ever posted!!! I wonder why Ms. Burke doesn't let us use emojis??? Hmm. I'll come back to that one. READ THIS POST RIGHT NOW!!

She also reads news-o-metic, a news site for kids, on her iPad regularly. She calls it "my favorite app EVER."

This is why we were able to have a very lucid and enlightening conversation with her about Brexit. She knew it was about immigration, that it involved England, etc. etc. It really is a pleasure to have conversations with her at the dinner table these days.

Weekend in the city

The weekend before Father's Day, we decided to go into the District. It was Rachel's suggestion to see the Jefferson Memorial, and we decided to take a paddleboat out, too.

Luckily our boat had a canopy because it was BEASTLY hot outside. We really had a great time paddling on the Potomac. Rachel started out with Drew, but quickly got tired and asked to rest. So I switched seats with her and paddled as far as the middle of the river, then turned around to go back. I thought I'd want two hours on the water, but I quickly got tired and realized that one hour was enough.

Then we walked to the Jefferson Memorial and explored the statue and the museum downstairs. On the way back, we walked past the FDR Memorial and then the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial. But that time, Rachel and I had insisted that we wanted a snack (we had bought water with us, but quickly ran out -- and we'd had a late, big breakfast and hadn't planned for lunch).

Well, the snack bars run by the National Park Service close at 6, and the closest Metro was the Arlington National Cemetery one -- and, boy, was it a hot, ugly, uncomfortable slog back. Poor Rachel was practically dead by the time we got to the Metro, but she really kept her complaining to a minimum (and apologized that she hadn't done better when I praised her for keeping her chin up).

We decided to go to Pupatella, a local pizza place, for dinner, and then got ice cream -- FINALLY -- at Carvel. Great topping to an exhausting day.

A note to Mom and Dad

Rachel wrote this to us about a month before her birthday:

Dear mom & Dad, I know you will proboly say no to this but can I redecorate my room? PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEESE say yes! If you do, on your right is what my room likes like now, on your Left is what I want my room to look like. I hope you say yes!!

Your responsible & Loving daughter,
Rachel

P.S I also want to turn the wheel thing by my desk Into a...Nightstand!

An autobiographical poem

Rachel and her classmates were assigned to write autobiographical poems in class. Here is what she had to say:

Rachel DeSilver
smart, funny, caring
Daughter of Drew and Lisa
Who loves Books. chocolete and cupcakes
Who feels passanite about The mets
Who needs a good Book, friends, and more chocolete
Who gives Hugs, Smiles, and laughs
Who fears Tornados, Hurricanes and Brussul Sprouts
Who'd like to see the great wall of china
Who dreams of traveling the world
A student of Ms. burke
Rachel

Outdoor Shabbat

Our new synagogue here does what our old synagogue in Portland used to do -- holds services outside. On June 10 they had a "Hot Shabbat" service with fajitas, adult beverages and drinks for the kids, a bounce house, and a service in a wooded part of the property. We went last year, but it rained as we were eating and so they moved the service to a part of the property that was covered by an awning.

This year, the weather cooperated. Rachel disappeared into the bounce house after we arrived, then ate only a tiny portion of chicken and then disappeared again. I started getting upset, anxious and angry and then decided I'd just have faith that we'd find each other. Sure enough, we did, and we set up our seats within reasonable distance of the service. Rachel went off to explore part of a creek with some other kids, but came back and sat next to me toward the end.

I took a few photos of her sitting next to me, her rapt, glowing face taking in everything around her. It was a lovely night, not too hot or buggy, and I thanked God that we were there, in the moment, enjoying the relaxing night.

Eventually Drew showed up and took Rachel off to play while I lingered. As it got dark the bugs came out, and we collected up the chairs and then chased Rachel near the bounce house. It really was a magical evening.

Field trip!

The last field trip of Rachel's school year was to the National Botanic Gardens in D.C. on June 8. (It had been scheduled for a week earlier, from 10 a.m. to noon, and all the parent chaperones got there...only to find that NO ONE HAD ORDERED THE BUSES, so we had to turn around and go home. I ended coming back and taking a nap because I had gotten up extra early after working a late shift the night before.)

Anyway, I carpooled in with the same group of moms. Rachel and three of her classmates and I had to go around and identify their favorite plants/flowers, the tallest, the shortest, etc. I told everyone to stay close to me but of course they all ran ahead, and for a while I thought I'd lost them for good. I was upset, and seeing my distress Rachel chased all of them down and was VERY STERN with them. I had to take her aside and say that it wasn't her job to tell them what the rules were; it was my job, and I should have outlined the rules at the beginning. One of the kids, Olivia, annoyed me to no end by trying to nail me down on exactly how far away she could be from me -- a foot length? Arms length? I finally told her that I thought she was smart enough to figure out that she needed to stay close by and that I would refused to give her an exact length. Since there were only 15 minutes left at that point, she managed to follow my directions.

We all had a picnic on the lawn, and Rachel really wanted me to play tag with her classmates. I said no. She was also upset when I wouldn't hang out at the nearby fountain with her because the kids were gathering at another place to take a group photo. "Well, if you don't want to spend time with me, FINE," she said, stomping off.

I guess that in a couple of years, it's ME who'll be saying that. Sigh.

Turner turns 1

Our across-the-street neighbors, both of them, had kids within the past year. Margo and Turner were born within a few months of each other. Turner's birthday party was June 4, and after a morning family bike ride, Rachel and I dropped in to see the birthday boy.

He was sooooo cute -- Rachel drops everything at a "Turner sighting" and races outside to say hello -- and she hung around him as much as she could. At one point his parents told her to move aside so they could take photos of him eating (smooshing) his birthday cake with a single candle in it. He was so neat; he barely made a mess. Rachel meanwhile, wandered around his house and, apparently, talked to several adults there. One of them came up to me as we were about to leave and said, "Your daughter is so friendly and...(she searched for a word)...well behaved."

"Thank you!" I said. "We work hard on that."

Gifted

We received a letter in the mail that Rachel qualifies for gifted services in language arts after we filled out a form explaining why we thought she deserved/needed that designation. We met with the gifted services adviser, Kevin Trainor, to hear his assessment.

He said that Rachel thinks globally and makes connections that are very unusual for someone her age. Most kids can maybe connect what they read to something else around them, but Rachel thinks very widely, he said: "It's almost like she's an Old Soul."

I replied, "People have been telling us that since she was really little."

He suggested that during the summer she do puzzles and math games, including memorizing her multiplication tables (because that's what the kids are doing in 3rd grade) and gave us some books. Drew makes sure that she does some multiplication almost every day, and so far she hasn't resisted.

The gifted designation stays with her at least through middle school. Which is good, because we both want the school system to challenge her as much as possible.

Catching up

Reaaaaallly long break from the blog. Sorry, people: A lot has been going on.

Let's start with Memorial Day. We had a great time with Auntie Rachel -- she graciously agreed to watch Rachel while Drew took me out for a fabulous anniversary dinner (our 19th) at Fiola Mare, a fancy restaurant I've been dying to try. It was fabulous -- they kept giving us free things: gazpacho, champagne, little dessert candies and a card written in calligraphy for the occasion. Can't wait to go back.

We saw "Love and Friendship" afterward, which I thought was pretty bad. When we got home, Rachel told us she and little Rachel had watched "Frozen" together.

On Saturday, I was scheduled to attend a picnic for a story I'm working on. It got canceled at the last minute, which was fine because I really would have preferred to spend it with Drew and the two Rachels. So...I got to grill mustard-covered chicken (actually, Drew grilled it and it came out PERFECTLY), make popovers and salad, and then had dessert. It was lovely sitting outside and eating without being bitten to death by bugs or fainting from the heat.

On Sunday morning, Rachel invited Rachel and I to an all-female brunch with a friend of hers, Jamila, who lives in the District. Little Rachel got bored halfway through, so we played Scrabble until I told her that we really had to rejoin our hostess. Jamila was so kind; she gave Rachel some books and a bag of pure vanilla beans. I made it to work just in time for Drew to pick Rachel up (and, we found out later, he unfortunately got a speeding ticket on the way there).

Those BOYS...

There is a kid in Rachel's class named Marat. His mom, a single woman, adopted him from Greece. Since kindergarten he has been somewhat of a troublemaker, although not serious. However, some of his recent behavior is questionable.

A couple of months ago, Rachel reported that Marat was showing kids his nipples. I think he got sent to the principal for that.

A week or so ago, he was showing kids his belly button -- he's an "outie" -- and, according to Rachel, figured out a way to launch crumbs from it.

Then, this past week, Rachel said, he went up to her during gym class and said, "Wanna see my butt crack?"

"Eeew, NO!" she said, and that made him back off.

Both Drew and I are wondering what is wrong with this kid. His mom seems like a perfectly nice woman; she's one of my favorite class moms. Sigh.