More Sidney problems

Rachel keeps telling me about all the mean things Sidney does. She'll give Rachel all kinds of little treasures, and when Rachel had her crutches she really looked out for her and helped her whenever she could...and yet the other day she pushed her in some weird way down the slide so Rachel fell on her bad wrist (she has been wearing an Ace bandage for a few weeks, now; more growing pains, we think) and she is just, well, mean.

The last thing Rachel told me about was Saturday night as I was cuddling next to her, trying to comfort her because she was just starting to get a bad cold, and said to her, "If Sidney is so mean and does such bad things to you, why are you friends with her?" And Rachel, of course, tried to defend her and say Sidney's not so bad, that they're friends, they give each other stuff, etc.

On Sunday, as I was setting up for the Seder at Hebrew school, I started thinking about Sidney and I got madder and madder, and was thinking of a way to tell Sidney's mom, Nicole, that THIS HAS GOT TO STOP or there will be no more playdates, ever. When we talked about Sidney to Mrs. Rocco, the guidance counselor, last week, she laughed and said, "Yes, Sidney's a character" and that she had had several conversations with her, including going to Sidney's class (thank God she's not in the same class with Rachel) and talking about the importance of not hitting other kids, of being nice to your friends, etc. It sounded to me as if she was hoping that it all would just sink into Sidney's head by osmosis, which, when I think about it, seems to be an inadequate way of addressing the problem.

We know parents of other kids have issues with Sidney and they've talked to the guidance counselor. But what can she do, really? As Drew said to me today, it's not like the kid is a Bad Seed. And I hate the idea of giving up on a kid so young, even if it sounds as if discipline is totally lacking in that house and her mom can't seem to draw the boundary between being her daughter's friend and her parent. It's not by business to comment on other people's parenting unless the kid is being emotionally, verbally or sexually abused.

Today Mrs. McAdam said something astonishing during our parent-teacher conference, after we'd spent most of our allotted time talking about Rachel's interactions with Sidney. She said that Rachel had talked to her about Sidney doing something mean, and when Mrs. McAdam pressed her further, Rachel replied, "Sidney's not being nice because she sees her parents not being nice to each other."

I mean, WOW.

Their lockers used to be next to each other, and Mrs. McAdam moved Rachel's locker a few weeks ago because she had noticed that she and Sidney were at their lockers all the time, chatting, exchanging stuff, etc. so she thought it was best to separate them. I wish I had been informed of that, as well as the reason why (I had noticed Rachel's locker had been moved but she didn't tell me why and I didn't think to ask), but at least Mrs. McAdam thought to do so and said Rachel seemed relieved (she has complained of Sidney following her around a lot and trying to interact and be friends when sometimes Rachel just wants to be with other kids or just left alone).

Mrs. McAdam said she will make sure Rachel and Sidney are not in the same 2nd-grade class next year. Which is fine, but they're not in the same class now and there's still a problem. Sometimes I wish Nicole would just get a better job somewhere and move, or put Sidney in another school, but that wouldn't solve the problem because Rachel will have to deal with people like Sidney all her life. I just hope it doesn't escalate.