Names

I told Rachel tonight that I don't like my name much. Sorry Mom and Dad, I know that you named me "Lisa" for the loveliest of reasons, it just has never seemed as interesting and exotic as "Daniella." Or "Oliver." Or, for that matter, "Sylvie."

"PLEASE like your name!" Rachel said, obviously distressed. "You're tormenting your mouth! Please don't ever say you don't like your name. If you do, I won't give you any more art for the rest of your life. If you don't like your name, Grandma will be really really angry and I won't like that. You're my mommy. Don't say that to Grandma, ok? Or Grandma will be furious."

I could only reply meekly that of course I will try to like my name better.

"What does 'tormenting your mouth' mean?" I asked Rachel.
"It's an expression," she replied. "It means, 'watch your mouth.'"

Sometimes I forget who's the mom around here and who's the kid.

***

Rachel dug out her toy flip phone tonight and immediately "called" her pretend friend (she reassured me he is, indeed, pretend) "Jordan." "We're gonna meet right after my performance and go to the movie," she announced. "The movie is called 'Star Trek.' I don't know anything about it. Depending, it's about outer space. I think. But I'm not sure."

She continued: "And he's my high school roommate."

"Where do you guys live?" I said. "High schoolers don't have roommates." (Well, they do, in prep school, but I wanted to see where the conversation went).

"We have little apartments," she said. "They put the friends in the little apartments. I'm the biggest in high school, so I get three roommates. There are three bedrooms, one for me, one for Jordan and one for Kelly."

She concluded: "I'm pretending my name is Lily. Lily Sophia Rose." She changed Kelly's name to "Ruby Drury DeSilver." And Jordan became "Jordan Mark Eishem."

I swear I am not making this up.