Halloween!!

..seems to come early around these parts. On Friday, my college roommate Charon, who lives in Alexandria, invited us to a Halloween party at her country club. Face painting for the kids, lots of kids in costume, a haunted house (that terrified poor Rachel, who begged Charon to carry her through but when Charon wouldn't, Rachel just braved it and started crying at the end, and she was right, I went through it and it was SCARY) and free dinner. Charon's 7 year old son, Cameron, dressed up as a king. Charon ordered a princess costume through the Internet, and because she has the most fantastic willowy figure she really looked like one. Her husband, Wes, had a Napoleon-ish costume with a hat that looked like it was a British cap from the 18th century.

Charon called us that morning to invite us, hinting that she had a "special" costume for me. Rachel was going to wear a costume Drew brought for her of the Disney character Ariel, but she decided it was too itchy. Which made Drew furious that he'd spent the money for it, but Rachel didn't get a chance to try it on beforehand (the costume shop was out of her size so Drew just bought a packaged dress) and so I can't really blame her for finding it itchy. I ended up spending a few hours sewing ribbon into the sleeves so it wouldn't itch so much, and then decided to sew a strip of cloth into the waist (which I will actually get to do when Drew and I aren't consumed with the little home repair projects we have to do because the owners from whom we're renting clearly did not understand how to take care of their house. Or they didn't give a damn. Regardless, our days and weekends are being eaten up by fixing stuff that they didn't get to, or did badly, and as Drew noted -- it isn't even our house!!!)

Anyway, the costume Charon had for me was that of a bar wench. It was her costume from last year and amazingly it fit. I showed a whole lot of cleavage and it was quite, um, form-fitting, but Drew pronounced me quite fetching. We decided his costume (he wore khakis, a polo shirt and sweater) made him a Silicone Valley billionaire who could actually afford to hire a bar wench.

The event was lovely but went on a little long -- poor Rachel didn't get to bed until around 11 or so -- but she had so much fun making friends and running around with Cameron and his buddies. Charon said something so nice, that there's "something special" about Rachel, "something about her," and another woman commented on how she just jumped right into the activities with the other kids. At several points during the night we literally lost track of her, she was so busy making friends.

I'll continue this tomorrow because it's late and I need to get to bed!

What every mom wants to hear

Scene: Rachel's bedroom. After weeks of fretting about the disastrous state of Rachel's bedroom -- and anticipating David and Anne's visit this coming weekend -- I was determined to clear away all of her old clothes, toys she didn't want anymore, etc. So we spent the last two days cleaning out her bins, her bookshelves, her closet and dresser drawers. We found a pair of sneakers I thought she'd lost and she got rid of a lot of her My Little Pony characters, which I never thought she'd do. "There's so much SPACE!" she said after we'd finished (I never throw away her toys without consulting her first) and I seized on that remark as multiple opportunities to say, "See? Doesn't it feel great to get rid of old stuff?"

The reality is, she has so few toys left that she really deserves a few replacements, which I think I may get her the next time we go to Target. At the very least, I think we'll head to a craft store in the next few weekends so I can get her a proper art bin and lots of stuff that she can I can do together ("a craft club!" she said excitedly) and things she can do with her friend Ivy, who comes over a lot and there's not a whole lot for them to do except draw on sheets of paper.

Anyway, while I was deep in her closet digging out her old stuff, she suddenly said, "You were right, Mommy. About moving."
I gave her a puzzled look.
"I DID make friends!" she said happily. "I HAVE new friends."
I couldn't help myself, I started tearing up.
"Why are you crying?" she exclaimed.
"Because there's nothing that mommies like better than to be told we're right about something," I answered.

***

I was expressing some frustration over something totally minor, so much so that I've forgotten what it was, when Rachel sat down beside me (I believe I was trying to pull a recalcitrant bowl out from one of our bottom cabinets) and said,

"It's OK, Mommy. Rachel's here, Rachel loves you, it's all fine."

Once again...who's the adult and who's the kid around here? She's an Oregon child....

A visit to a farm

In between filling out online job applications and scheduling information interviews, I've been trying to volunteer at Rachel's school as much as possible, since the day will come when I won't have time to do that because I'll be working full-time.

So I volunteered to chaperone a bunch of her classmates to a farm this morning. The weather was pretty unpromising -- cloudy and rain had fallen overnight, everything felt damp -- but by the time we got to Frying Park Farm, everything was clear and brilliantly sunny and crisp.

I had signed up for a virtual "career fair" sponsored by the Council for the Advancement and Support of Education that started at noon, so I could only stay for two events -- the talk about cows (Rachel got to "milk" a cow, which was a wooden cutout of a cow with water in her udders instead of milk) and a scavenger hunt to find as many animals as we could within the allotted half-hour. I was responsible for Rachel and her buddy, Matthew, who turned out to be an incredibly nice kid. We actually had a lot of fun running around and seeing all the animals including an adorable newly born calf whose legs were still wobbly, and some piglets. Rachel really got into everything, she is so enthusiastic!

She sobbed and had a little temper tantrum when I had to leave, though, and I felt horribly guilty for the first few minutes...until one of her classmate's moms, Kelly, thoughtfully texted me a picture of Rachel hugging her classmate, Libby. "Rachel is doing great!" Kelly said. I was beyond grateful; it was such a nice gesture and made me feel less guilty for leaving.

Cute things Rachel has said these last few days

Rachel has a new way of bidding me goodnight. First she tries to sneak up on me, and sometimes I pretend to be scared and sometimes I don't. Tonight I didn't, and her reaction was: "Drats!" Then she went through her usual routine:

"Kiss." And she gives me a kiss.
"Hug." And she gives me a hug.

And then: "I love you, good night, and NO bad dreams."

I reciprocate, of course. Funny thing about the dreams is that I've had some really weird/scary ones over the last two weeks. No idea why.

***

The brisket was a roaring success. Time-consuming but oh, so worth it. Drew kept telling me how good it was and thanked me profusely for all the hard work I put into it. (He also suggested I auction off a homemade smoked brisket for McKinley's PTA auction in April, which I thought was a terrific idea and I just may end up doing it).

Rachel commented on how great the house smelled this morning (I had put the brisket in the oven at 200 degrees after smoking it, so it cooked low and slow while we slept). She helped me make cornbread tonight -- she is getting to be a champ at cracking eggs, a skill I did not pick up in life until much later, right, Mom? -- and so we had hot cornbread and brisket for dinner.

The moment Rachel tried the brisket she said, "Mmm! Tender as PIE!" And then she demolished the meat on her plate.

I just may have to keep her 5 forever.

Family day

Today we spent lunch and part of the afternoon with Uncle Dan and Aunt Beryle, who live in Rockville, MD, about a 20-minute drive from us. It feels odd to think that they're Rachel's great-aunt and great-uncle; I'm so used to thinking of them as MY aunt and uncle.

We had a great time talking about all kinds of things, including the gay marriage of two residents who live in the same building they live in. The men had been together for 55 years, and they finally made it official because Maryland recognizes gay marriage. Apparently they had a private ceremony and then a party for the entire group of people who live in the apartment building.

Rachel was very well-behaved during the visit; she actually ate some lunch (rare for her on weekends) and looked at some picture books and read some books with Drew while Dan and Beryle tried to show me an alternate "back route" to NYC during Thanksgiving. I think I've got it down, but I may want to check back with them before we go.

Then we did our grocery shopping at Safeway near their house and ran into...our neighbor! Actually, it was Luz, our neighbor's nanny, who was visiting a friend of hers who lives in Chevy Chase. Rachel gave her a big hug. We got home in time for me to put away the food and start dinner for us and for Ivy, Liam and their mom, Jenny, who we invited over for spaghetti with basil and cherry tomatoes -- a mercifully easy dinner to make. For dessert we had the babka Daniella brought to us last weekend from a Hungarian bakery in NYC. Thanks, Tia Daniella! It's delicious.

And then I got out a brisket I bought last week, made some rub for it and put it in the refrigerator. I'm going to smoke it tomorrow night and then finish it off in the oven overnight. Yeah, it's a hassle, but Rachel has been asking for Mommy's smoked brisket so who am I to refuse???

Our first birthday party in Arlington!

Rachel got invited to the 6th birthday party of a boy in her class named Andrew. Andrew has a twin brother, Blake, so the party was really for both of them. It was at a Masonic lodge, of all places, in a lovely part of Falls Church.

Rachel had a terrific time, as usual. There was a bouncy house outside, and one of the moms I struck up a conversation with was very complimentary. "There were all these boys in the bouncy house, but that didn't bother Rachel!" she exclaimed. "She just dove right in!"

The kids decorated Halloween masks and pumpkins and there was quite a nice spread of food, enough for me to feel sated and enough for Rachel to turn up her nose at and insist on just crackers and goldfish. I let her eat one piece of candy and part of a piece of cake. I believe she burned it all off in the bouncy house, where she spent most of the party.

One of the gratifying things I noticed Rachel doing was whenever one of the kids in the bouncy house got hurt (one nice kid, Trip, got kicked in the head by mistake, ouch!) she sat with them until they felt better. When Andrew was hurt and went to the side and rested, she gently stroked his head and asked him if he was OK. I swear, she'd make a great big sister. Or a nurse. Or a doctor.

After the party we dropped off some library books, ran an errand or two and got home just in time for Ivy to come over for Family Fun Night. I reheated some pizza, and just about the time it was ready, Drew showed up early from the conference in Atlanta he went to late last week. Rachel and Ivy were pretending they were rock stars -- complete with the icky makeup Ivy put on both of them, kids' makeup that made both look like hollowed-out Goth kids, and yes, Dad, I'm remembering how Maria Tetens and I put on blue eyeshadow and you called us "blue eyed monsters" for YEARS after that -- and singing at the top of their voices. Rachel kept sing/yelling "Reach for the STARS!" while holding a Styrofoam ice cream cone she pretended was a microphone. Later she waggled her hips and strutted around in a way that made me nervous. She's not supposed to know how to do that!!!

***

I'm having a tough time getting around Arlington because the roads do NOT make sense, the traffic lights aren't synchronized AT ALL, and there are a lot of people here. So I was very frustrated when my GPS refused to recognize the address of the party. Luckily I found an online map of the place and by the time I reached the main drag into Falls Church, I felt confident enough to say we were fine.


"You still have to get home," Rachel reminded me.
"That'll be easy," I said confidently.
"You don't KNOW it'll be easy," she replied. "You can't see into the future, like Dionysus!"

Rachel tells Mommy a story that she swears she made up all by herself

As told to me two nights ago, pointing to the "book" she had made as part of some project before we moved, I can't remember:

"Once upon a time there was a girl named Sabrina. She LOVED birds.

"This is called 'The Girl Who Loved Birds.' By me, Rachel," she said.

"One day she saw a beautiful scarlet red bird. She heard it chirping and chirping. She said very kindly, "Please stop, bird, I don't like that.' But the bird STILL wouldn't stop chirping. So, she counted. One, two, three. four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. But the bird STILL wouldn't STOP chirping. Here's a picture of it."

(She showed me a picture she had drawn. The book she was showing me was actually a book of her drawings).

"So Sabrina tried to scare it away. She said, 'urgh, argh." The bird stopped chirping very quickly and then flew away. She stood there thinking in the beautiful bright starlight. The sky started to turn pink. It was sundown. As her beautiful black hair blew in the waving wind, she thought puzzledly when and how the bird would come back.

That night with her little Teddy bear under a warm comfy orange blanket in a wood bed, she thought how the bird would come back and when the bird would come back. She snuggled closely with her bear."

("Got that part, Mommy?" she asked, noting that I was taking notes).

"That morning, she woke up with a brilliant idea," Rachel continued. "She dropped her bunny and hurried out of her bed, even leaving the bed with the orange blanket scattered around it, and ran out of the room. She ran to the window and wanted to check if the bird was there. It wasn't. So she got her shoes on and ran outside into the blowing, sweet breeze. She didn't even see the bird there. She KNEW it must have been happy.

The end."

Then Rachel added this: "She went back inside, woke up her mom and dad, had a yummy breakfast, and ran outside again and played and ran and did all kinds of stuff. When she was a grownup she still thought about it and wrote about it, which is this book, called "The Girl Who Loves Birds."

And here is the last section of the book: "In 2013, Sabrina was a India girl. She was brought to America this very day. She made a bird book for her children Anne and Matthew and I heard of it and decided to make one of my own."

Weird Rachel comments

Tonight, as I was making Scotch broth for later next week, Rachel said this as she was finishing a peanut butter-filled chocolate cupcake I made:

"You look like a daisy!"
"You look like a flower that's so beautiful I can't even name it," I replied.
"I'm an ambidextrous chicken!" she shrieked.

I love that kid.

***
 "Mommy, I don't want to drive until I'm 17," Rachel announced at breakfast this morning.
"Seventeen?You can start earlier than that," I answered.
"I want to wait a year to think about what the driving test will be and who I'm going to drive with," Rachel said. "Just like Barbie. She started driving when she was 10 and it was way too early. The tires fell out, and KEN fell out!"

The cousins reunite!

Well, it wasn't just Valerie who came to visit us this long weekend -- Daniella and Darryl came too -- but, really, the visit was all about watching Valerie (Duckie) and Rachel together, which was beyond adorable. Between chasing each other around the house, shrieking with laughter and hugging and kissing each other, they were a sight to watch.

They all got to our house on Sunday around 11 a.m. for brunch. Drew thought about adding an extra leaf to our table, but I persuaded him not to because, we figured, the girls would sit down for about five minutes to eat, then get up and run and play again. I was almost right -- they informed us they'd have breakfast later, then just as Darryl, Drew, Daniella and I were really in a good conversation, the girls announced they wanted breakfast and stayed to eat for about 15 minutes. They played outside on the swingset for a while, then came back in and took all the toys from Rachel's playroom and brought them to Rachel's room. At one point they amused themselves by throwing all the stuffed animals and dolls from the top of the stairwell down the stairs and yelling as they did it.

So, this lasted a couple of hours until we all decided we really needed to get out of the house. It was a yucky day outside, so Drew found something called the Playseum in Bethesda, and off we went. It turned out to be a fantastic place for kids -- rooms and rooms of dress-up clothes, a pretend grocery store, a library area for reading, a pet room(!) with bunnies and birds, a "salon" where you could get your nails painted for $1 and mix up bath lotion for $3, etc. We will definitely be back there with Rachel when the weather is crappy and we don't feel like going to a museum one weekend. Admission was definitely worth the $7 per person. Valerie dressed up as one princess, Rachel as Snow White, and they had great fun with the wigs. They didn't even ask to get their nails painted (I was prepared to pay if they'd wanted to). All in all, a great way to spend two hours.

Then we went to dinner in Shirlington, near Darryl and Daniella's hotel, which turned out to have a terrific town center with a variety of restaurants including a great bakery (another place we will definitely revisit), an indie movie theater and a regular theater. We went to a restaurant that turned out to be so-so ("I want noodles!" Rachel said, so, really what choice do you have?) and then got frozen yogurt for dessert. Poor Valerie's tummy started hurting so we cut the evening short and agreed to go to "Super Park" today.

Turned out that was a good call. "Super Park" is Clemyjontri Park, a Fairfax County park rated one of the best parks in the country. The land was donated buy a guy who named it after his kids, and it was simply one of the most incredible parks I've ever been to...it had a carousel, a racetrack, lots and lots of climbing structures to play on, swings, a picnic area, walking trails, shade pavilions. We plan to take Mom and Dad there when they come visit, and we'll bring a picnic when we go again, probably when the weather gets crisper and more fall-like (it was so nice and sunny today, at least 70 degrees, a welcome refuge from the deluge of rain we've been having) and we'll bring a lunch with hot chocolate and sandwiches.

We stayed there for about four hours, and then it was time for Darryl/Daniella/Valerie to head back to their friends' house for dinner (they came to Arlington to visit Steve, the best man at Darryl's wedding, and to see us, of course). We agreed the visit was a little too short, so we're hoping they can spend more time with us the next time they're in town when hopefully all the museums in DC will be OPEN FOR BUSINESS and we can go back to our original plan of taking them into the District. Although I must say, we ended up having a terrific time anyway. Take THAT, government shutdown!

***

Rachel's priceless quote from this weekend, as she sat next to Valerie at the restaurant Sunday night:

"Valerie, I need to have good table manners," she said. "And YOU, my dear, need to eat!"

Drew plays a trick on Rachel

Drew hid Nemo, Rachel's stuffed lion, under his shirt tonight as he put Rachel to bed. He was pretending that Nemo had decided he wanted to stay downstairs instead of sleeping with her. When she became distressed, Drew reached under his shirt and pulled Nemo out.

"Daddy, you played a trick on me!" Rachel exclaimed. "You RASCAL!"

Drew's take: "I tell ya, listening to those Laura Ingalls Wilder books on CD will give Rachel the best 19th century vocabulary of any kid in Northern Virginia."

Art camp!

Thursday and Friday were days off from school because of parent/teacher conferences. We sent Rachel to an art camp for the day called Lola's Lab. It was held at a nearby elementary school, and the kids spent their day making puppets, putting together a big paper dragon and watching a play. (They also got to watch a movie, and Rachel insists she is ready for "The Wizard of Oz." I don't know, Mom, what do you think? The flying monkeys scared the hell out of me right into high school).

When I went to pick her up on Thursday, Lola exclaimed, "Rachel was really out there! Most kids her age just hold back, but she dived right in!"

I ended up chatting a bit with Lola; turns out a friend of hers is a member of Potomac Harmony, a Sweet Adelines chorus out here. As soon as I get a job, I plan to get back to singing with some kind of group. I also met Earl, one of the "teachers" at the camp, who is a personal chef, and he showed me photos on his smartphone of all the food he has cooked. He also loves singing, and we got into a long discussion of why harmony parts are better than melody parts.

I continue to be amazed at how many points of interest I have in common with people here.

It's starting....

For the last day or so, Rachel has been indicating she wants to walk to school alone, or at least that she's looking forward to the day she'll be able to do so. This morning she begged Drew to let her walk at least part of the way solo, and he reluctantly agreed.

He made sure she got through the crosswalk with him (even Rachel was hesitant about doing it herself, since she doesn't quite know how to navigate the patrols, the older kids who help younger kids across the street) and then he let her run up the hill to the entrance of McKinley Elementary all by herself. Tonight at dinner she announced that she'd made it to class just as the bell rang.

And so it begins, her first steps away from us. What happened to my sweet, helpless baby? Where did the time go?

Pumpkin Patch!

It's October, so it must be...pumkin-carving time! Which means it's pumpkin patch time, 90 degree weather be damned. On Sunday we met my former college roommate (and bridesmaid, and longtime close friend) Charon, her husband Wes, and son Cameron for an outing to Butler's Pumpkin Patch in Germantown, MD. It was a lovely drive once we got off the highway, reminiscent of Oregon -- except, as I noted to Drew, the trees were all wrong -- and lots to do, although we were perplexed and annoyed that the entrance fee was $11 per person and all the fun stuff to do cost extra, like pony rides and the like. Still, we all had a great time. Cameron, who is almost 8, was very sweet to Rachel and she had the time of her life, jumping off bales of hay in the hayloft, going on a hayride to the actual pumpkin patch and picking out our pumpkin, petting some goats, leading me through a hay maze, going down a huge slide multiple times and refusing to be scared or let Drew join her.

Charon and her husband live close by, in Alexandria, and they are so happy to have us here. "It's so great to have you here, you belong here," Charon said, and the affirmation was great to hear since I still feel connected to Oregon somewhat. (One of Rachel's friends there, Lila Ann, was asked to draw a picture at school and drew a picture of Rachel). They have a cabin in the Maryland mountains and have talked about us going there to visit, which would be great. I'm having lunch with Charon later this week and she invited me to a wine tasting next week; we hope to convince Pam, one of my other bridesmaids, to come down from New Jersey and we can all be reunited again. Yay!

On the way home Drew got a bit lost trying to get us off the highway and to a grocery store, but he persisted and we found it. "We're a no-quitter family!" Rachel exclaimed, and if that's the most resonant lesson she takes away from her childhood, then I have done well as a mom, I think.

Today a storm rolled in and it has cooled down quite a lot. I'm still unpacking the house and am coming to the end of what I can do without Drew's help; he's in charge of shelving the books and I can only watch. So, I've set up some meetings with folks who may have job leads. I've also been cooking a lot, which I missed doing during the three weeks we were on the road. I made a phenomenal mushroom soup with parsley-flecked dumplings tonight that Drew and Rachel LOVED. Next up: Turning the half-finished brick grill outside into a working cooking station, and dusting off the old writing chops.

Ivy, Ivy, and more of Ivy....

Rachel has made a little friend in the neighborhood. Her name is Ivy, she's in second grade, and she lives just up the street from us. Her dad, Billy, is in the Foreign Service -- public affairs, as it happens -- and her mom, Jenny, is a writer/editor. Ivy has a twin brother named Liam. The family moved here around the same time we did; they have been posted in Estonia and the Philippines, and the dad is getting ready to head to Afghanistan next April (the kids don't know yet) and so he is studying Dari for hours and hours every weekend, in between painting the inside of their house (he used to be a house painter, a contractor, and a lawyer before joining the Foreign Service. Yes, we have interesting neighbors).

From the day Ivy and Rachel met on the neighborhood swing across the street from Ivy's house, the little girls have been inseparable. Ivy came over to our house for breakfast last Sunday, and then Rachel went over and played while Drew and I desperately tried to hang art and shelve books while she was gone. We also hang out at their house after I pick Rachel up from school.

Today after I got back from renting a flexible ladder so we could hang some African cloth on the wall above the stairs -- and then going to a fabulous bakery that gave us a free coupon for bread, muffins, pastries and cupcakes -- we went to the Falls Church Farmers Market (a really lovely discovery). Drew and I were just about to settle in for a long day of unpacking/shelving/hanging art when Ivy and her dad stopped by, wondering if Rachel wanted to come over. Instead, we invited Ivy to play on the swings in our backyard for a while. Billy ran to Home Depot to pick up some stuff while his wife, Jenny, worked on painting their house, and I told Billy to let Ivy stay as long as she wanted. After a while he returned, they picked up Rachel and then all went to Ivy's house where Jenny had baked bittersweet chocolate brownies and Rachel and Ivy played most of the afternoon. Drew and I hung a lot of art, then I went to Ivy's house to fetch Rachel. They were having such a great time that I invited Ivy to come to our house for "family movie night" (pizza and, usually, a Barbie movie for Rachel), then ran out to do some errands. On the way back I picked up a pizza and discovered Drew had made A LOT of progress shelving books (despite having a horrible cold that makes him look and sound terrible). We all watched "Barbie Princess Charm School" downstairs (this is why I'm trying to sign Rachel up for physics classes and work on math with her, to counteract the Barbie influence) and then I walked both girls back to Ivy's because Rachel had left something there.

Billy had almost finished painting the house and it looked stunning; I complimented him over and over again and remarked that I wish we were able to paint, too, but the owners of the house said no -- even though their taste in paint is, well, questionable. (Brown walls and green curtains in the master bedroom? Really??). They thanked me for hosting Ivy, which was no trouble at all -- she's well-mannered and she and Rachel really, really like each other.

One of my dreams has always been to live in a house on a street with lots of kids who'd run in and out of our house all day, and Rachel would run in and out of the neighbors' houses all day, and we'd become known as the house where Rachel's Mom makes great food and treats, and that we'd find ourselves hosting one of Rachel's little friends for dinner or breakfast or whatever on a frequent basis, and that she'd never be lonely without a sibling because she'd be around her friends all the time.

 And now it looks like the universe has granted my wish, and I couldn't be happier.

Shabbat Shalom from Arlington....

Spent most of today getting our CDs organized in the living room, so now we have a great collection of classical music, jazz, show tunes, etc. to choose from when we need music. Yes, we still have a stereo system because I agree with Drew that music sounds better coming out of speakers than through iTunes, and besides, we have such a large collection of music that it would take us forever (and cost us a fortune) to convert it all to MP3 files. Anyway, it's great to have our music back again -- I love listening to classical music while I'm cooking (I made mushroom soup tonight for next week) and relaxing with the newspaper while Drew is putting Rachel to bed.

Everything in the above graph makes me sound like I haven't made it into the 21st Century. So be it.

After I picked Rachel up from school, she announced we were starting a "collector's club" and that our first project would be collecting little rocks from McKinley Elementary School's playground. I was actually surprised how many they were, and how varied the colors were. Rachel grabbed a miniature stick and announced that it was the "polisher," and that I should use it to polish the rocks (i.e., get the dirt off of them). So I dutifully sat and polished before Rachel sent me out collecting again. As we were walking home she said she would wash the rocks off at home and then put them in a special container she has, usually for jewelry.

I should have been tipped off that washing off the rocks wouldn't be a good idea, because as soon as she started to do so she began wailing and shrieking. I raced upstairs, only to find her sobbing in the bathroom that some of the rocks had washed down the drain. When I calmly said it was OK and the drain would be fine, she sobbed, "I was so scared you'd be mad at me and give me a timeout, even though I did it on accident!" When I reassured her that that wouldn't happen, I said gently, "Are you really that scared of me?"

"Yes," she answered promptly, and I cringed.

Then when I said later on that we wouldn't be listening to a Laura Ingalls Wilder CD before dinner, that I wanted to put on some Shabbat and classical music, she threw herself onto the couch and began wailing, and I really lost it (she has been griping and whining for a couple of days now whenever she doesn't get her way). "Rachel, STOP IT!" I yelled. "You are making me CRAZY. You're making DADDY crazy too." She stopped immediately and fled upstairs. I took a deep breath, realized I should have just let her alone, then went upstairs. She was curled up in a corner of her bed. I sat down and said, "Rachel. You need to understand that if you're going to live in this house, and have friends, you can't always do what you want to do, you have to do what other people want to do sometimes. I'm working very hard to get this house organized so we can have guests who we'll do fun things with us when they visit us. And Daddy's working very hard at work. We've been listening to Laura Ingalls Wilder every night before dinner; we can listen to something else this time." 

Then I left the room and came downstairs to say hi to Drew, who has had a rough few days at work, and just as I finished explaining how I'd organized the music, Rachel's little voice popped up, and she said she'd love to listen to another one of her story CDs, and Drew repeated that we'd be listening to the Shabbat music, and Rachel sulked but came to dinner uncomplainingly.

Then for dessert we went to get ice cream at a local ice cream place that wasn't so great, but Rachel ran into a friend of hers, Matthew, from her kindergarten class. His mom had brought along their French au pair and I spoke a few phrases of French to her while the mom explained some awful tradition in a kindergarten class in a nearby elementary school called Tuckahoe Elementary. Apparently the kids start out each day being one "color" -- green, yellow, whatever -- and as their behavior changes they're assigned a different color. If your kid is "red," then that means they've done something bad and their parent must call the teacher and find out what went wrong. So all the parents at soccer practice today were asking each other what "color" their kids were, and the kids who were deemed "red" by their teachers were devastated. Matthew's mom thought this was awful, calling it very "negative," and for the first time since August, I felt that a tiny bit of me was still in Portland.

What Rachel is learning in kindergarten

Today at dinner, Rachel shocked the hell out of us when all of a sudden she said, "Guys! Can I tell you about Vasily Kandinsky??"

Turns out her art class (she gets art twice a week) is replicating the father of modern art's famous concentric circles. They're tracing them as some sort of big art project.

"Vasily Kandinsky is the BEST!" Rachel said before getting up and clearing her plate. "He's such a great artist!"

Drew's wry observation: Maybe she's ready for MOMA?

***

Went to my first full-length PTA meeting last night. I'm going to try to attend these fairly regularly because, well, it's my duty as the mom of an elementary school kid, and I'd like to do what I can to help out. I've already volunteered two items for the auction (a 75-person pig roast with Dan, my catering partner and co-author; and either one-quick-bread-a-month-for-six-months or a private catered brisket dinner for 8. I have several months to decide). I'd really like to do more volunteering for the PTA, but I'm assuming I'll be gainfully employed within the next two months or so -- fingers crossed! -- so I don't want to say yes to everything only to have to pull out later.

The art teachers told us about the Kandinsky project, so it was nice to hear that it made such a great impression on Rachel. The school's Gifted Resource Teacher also talked about testing for gifted kids (done in 2nd and 4th grade), what the gifted program entails, etc. I took very good notes, which I was able to share with Drew when I got home. Gifted kids can actually be referred as early as kindergarten, which I would love to do, but Drew gently warned me that probably everyone feels the way we do, and the kindergarten teachers are probably all aware of this and hold off, so it would be a futile exercise.

Parent-teacher conferences are next Thursday and Friday, so I'll hear all about Rachel's progress from her teacher, Mrs. Kappert. Can't wait!