We have now checked out two kindergartens: Alameda Elementary, our extremely excellent (but very crowded) neighborhood school, and St. James, the extremely excellent preschool where Rachel is enrolled, where classes are tiny but, well, we end up paying for that. Next Thursday we're having a conference with Teacher Joe, one of Rachel's teachers, about how to smooth her transition into kindergarten, wherever she ends up going, and some things she needs to work on -- like her tremendous frustration when she feels she's not being understood (hmm, wonder where she gets that from?) by her friends when, say, she wants to be left alone or she doesn't want to do what they're doing.
We've asked for some input from Rachel about where she wants to go to kindergarten (she has never seen Alameda) but the decision will ultimately be Drew's and mine, of course. Here was her feedback at dinner the other night:
"I'm kind of thinking I could learn all about kindergarten at St. James, and when I know what to do at kindergarten I could go to Alameda."
Which is, in fact, what a lot of parents end up doing if their kids are born during odd times of year (November, December, January, February, March). We have several months to make a decision.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Nap Girl
"Nap Girl," was Drew's nickname for Rachel whenever she woke up from an afternoon nap when she was a toddler. She almost always slept the perfect amount of time -- long enough to give us time to do the things we couldn't do when she was around, and just when we started to miss being around her..she woke up.
Lately Rachel has been falling asleep, deep asleep, in the car on the way home from preschool. It's about a 20-minute drive, and unfortunately she ends up sleeping until around 7:45, which means we eat dinner late and get to bed late...I've got to break this cycle.
When she wakes up she's really disoriented and weepy, and needs a lot of cuddling to soothe herself back to normalcy. Today she asked a really weird question after waking up: "What's in the banana?" It sounded like something she would say in her sleep. That gave me an idea for a children's book: about a kid who falls asleep in the back seat of a car, and everytime she does, she returns to this weird world with fantastical creatures, and then just at the climax she wakes up, extremely disoriented, to a mommy who chatters on about dinner and bedtime, and after this happens month after month she can't tell which world is real and which is a fantasy.
Nah. Probably too scary for kids??? Or maybe not.
***
Cute Rachel sayings of the last few days:
"Mommy, I don't wanna give away you!" Rachel said at dinner two days ago, still weepy from waking up in the car after a nap. "I don't wanna give you away even when you're old!'
I'm glad to hear that, honey.
***
"You have to eat your salad, Mama," Rachel said on Tuesday at dinner.
"Why?" I answered.
"'Cause you'll get sick. You don't want to waste your salad. Want to write that down?"
***
"We like the stegosaurus," she said tonight at dinner.
"Because....?" I said.
"He doesn't do anything," she said. "He just strolls along."
***
Rachel was upset tonight because Sadie, one of her little friends, made Rachel be the little sister while Sadie was the big sister during a game of theirs. I'll give Sadie credit for at least offering Rachel two options: play the game or stay out of it.
"She wants to be powerful because she doesn't want ME to be powerful," Rachel said tonight. "And that's what makes me not want to play with her."
"Powerful"?????
Lately Rachel has been falling asleep, deep asleep, in the car on the way home from preschool. It's about a 20-minute drive, and unfortunately she ends up sleeping until around 7:45, which means we eat dinner late and get to bed late...I've got to break this cycle.
When she wakes up she's really disoriented and weepy, and needs a lot of cuddling to soothe herself back to normalcy. Today she asked a really weird question after waking up: "What's in the banana?" It sounded like something she would say in her sleep. That gave me an idea for a children's book: about a kid who falls asleep in the back seat of a car, and everytime she does, she returns to this weird world with fantastical creatures, and then just at the climax she wakes up, extremely disoriented, to a mommy who chatters on about dinner and bedtime, and after this happens month after month she can't tell which world is real and which is a fantasy.
Nah. Probably too scary for kids??? Or maybe not.
***
Cute Rachel sayings of the last few days:
"Mommy, I don't wanna give away you!" Rachel said at dinner two days ago, still weepy from waking up in the car after a nap. "I don't wanna give you away even when you're old!'
I'm glad to hear that, honey.
***
"You have to eat your salad, Mama," Rachel said on Tuesday at dinner.
"Why?" I answered.
"'Cause you'll get sick. You don't want to waste your salad. Want to write that down?"
***
"We like the stegosaurus," she said tonight at dinner.
"Because....?" I said.
"He doesn't do anything," she said. "He just strolls along."
***
Rachel was upset tonight because Sadie, one of her little friends, made Rachel be the little sister while Sadie was the big sister during a game of theirs. I'll give Sadie credit for at least offering Rachel two options: play the game or stay out of it.
"She wants to be powerful because she doesn't want ME to be powerful," Rachel said tonight. "And that's what makes me not want to play with her."
"Powerful"?????
Monday, February 25, 2013
Happy Purim!
Rachel and I went to a Purim carnival at our synagogue yesterday while Drew finished cleaning up from breakfast and got a haircut. I almost decided against going because it's snowing on Mt. Hood and we really should teach Rachel to ski, but she was really looking forward to seeing the rabbi and going in the bouncy house that we knew would be part of the festivities. So, figuring that we'd be late, we left at 11 -- only to discover that the whole thing started at 11:30! That gave us time to browse in the gift shop, where I bought Rachel a Queen Esther mask and crown (I didn't have the energy to design an appropriate costume) before going in to the service. Lots of music (including the Purim story set to the music of "Obla-Di, Obla-Da,") and then Rabbi Cahana told the story of Haman, which clearly left an impression on Rachel. "BAD HAMAN!" she exclaimed several times; tonight she said unexpectedly, "Haman was a BULLY," with which I heartily concurred. Afterward we went to the carnival, where Rachel played in the bouncy house, did some carnival games (and actually did well in one of them) and collected fantastic amounts of plastic junk as prizes -- rings, whistles, etc. One mom said she didn't remember all the plastic toys from the Purim carnivals of HER childhood, but I think her memory is selective.
We ran into a little friend of Rachel's, Naomi, who we met at Shabbat on the Plaza this past summer and apparently she asks all the time at temple events, "When are we going to see Rachel? I hope my friend Rachel is there." They hung out at the carnival with "Big Naomi", another girl named Naomi who I think is 12 or so.
Drew and Rachel went to the park across from the synagogue -- it was sunny and around 50 degrees, what we call "Fake Spring" around here, and then got groceries. We watched the Oscars together, with lots of commentary about the pretty dresses, and then while Drew put Rachel to bed I proceeded to make beef stew and sausage and macaroni soup (in addition to the gingerbread and challah I'd made on Saturday). It seems that every two weeks or so I go on a gigantic cooking binge that lasts us until we empty everything out and then it's another cooking binge. I can't seem to think of a way to lighten the load.
Cute Rachel sayings:
Tonight at dinner Rachel said, "Lukas asked me to marry him, but I said no. I said I wanted to marry someone else, like Noah. I'm thinking about Noah for my husband."
(Noah is the son of my former editor Sarah, who like me left the Oregonian a while ago).
***
"Do you like Lila?" Rachel asked, referring to a purple unicorn in one of the Barbie movies.
"I think she's very exaggerating and she always wants to do stuff."
***
She can't get us out of here fast enough:
"When are you going on your next date?" Rachel asked. "I WANT CORRIE!" (her latest babysitter, who also teaches at St. James). "She's gonna be my third favorite babysitter. Liz is one, Julie's two, and she's three!"
We ran into a little friend of Rachel's, Naomi, who we met at Shabbat on the Plaza this past summer and apparently she asks all the time at temple events, "When are we going to see Rachel? I hope my friend Rachel is there." They hung out at the carnival with "Big Naomi", another girl named Naomi who I think is 12 or so.
Drew and Rachel went to the park across from the synagogue -- it was sunny and around 50 degrees, what we call "Fake Spring" around here, and then got groceries. We watched the Oscars together, with lots of commentary about the pretty dresses, and then while Drew put Rachel to bed I proceeded to make beef stew and sausage and macaroni soup (in addition to the gingerbread and challah I'd made on Saturday). It seems that every two weeks or so I go on a gigantic cooking binge that lasts us until we empty everything out and then it's another cooking binge. I can't seem to think of a way to lighten the load.
Cute Rachel sayings:
Tonight at dinner Rachel said, "Lukas asked me to marry him, but I said no. I said I wanted to marry someone else, like Noah. I'm thinking about Noah for my husband."
(Noah is the son of my former editor Sarah, who like me left the Oregonian a while ago).
***
"Do you like Lila?" Rachel asked, referring to a purple unicorn in one of the Barbie movies.
"I think she's very exaggerating and she always wants to do stuff."
***
She can't get us out of here fast enough:
"When are you going on your next date?" Rachel asked. "I WANT CORRIE!" (her latest babysitter, who also teaches at St. James). "She's gonna be my third favorite babysitter. Liz is one, Julie's two, and she's three!"
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Social Saturday
Drew was in Seattle working a weekend shift, so Rachel and I had the day to ourselves. I raced her to swim lessons because I got up late since I was up until 1:30 a.m. today mopping the kitchen floor (it was a mess, and I didn't get to it earlier because when I got home from Swan Lake, my friend Julie, who had babysat Rachel and said she was "the easiest kid to babysit in the world" wanted to stay and talk a while, and I didn't feel I could say no because she essentially babysat for free and on a Friday night, no less, so...by the time she left it was 12:30 a.m.) and so I was grumpy this morning. We got to swim lessons only 10 minutes late and ended up at ballet lessons on time, so it all evened out. I got a chance to ask Miss Lauren, Rachel's ballet teacher, what she thought of Rachel. (I had meant talent-wise, but she said she LOVES Rachel). As for her development, she said she was "right where she needs to be" ballet-wise, which is good, because I'd love it if she continued into pointe work.
We had two playdates after dance class -- Bridgette, who is Rachel's age and lives three blocks away; I met Bridgette's mom, Max, in a mom's class after I gave birth. We have gone to Max's cookie-making party for the neighborhood kids every October and last time Rachel and Bridgette really hit it off, so I thought it was time to invite them here. The girls had a ball running around, trying to build a pillow fort (Rachel's latest obsession these days), pulling out all of the castle/princess/pony-themed toys that Rachel has, and finally settling down to watch "Barbie in Swan Lake" huddled under a blanket while I lay on the futon and caught a 15-minute nap (Dad, now I understand why you napped so much when Daniella and I were kids, and Mom, I have no idea how you managed on so little sleep. Take a bow, both of you. I only have one girl, not two, so I really shouldn't complain).
After Bridgette left, Sunny and her Mom Erica came over. I met them a few weeks ago at "A Jewish Night at the Museum," where the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry (OMSI) opened their doors to a mostly Jewish crowd at night; I met Erica, Sunny (who is a few months older than Rachel) and Erica's husband, Jeff, as we were pulling into the parking lot. They just moved here from Long Island, and Erica grew up in Englewood. The girls really liked each other and I liked Erica and Jeff, so I called Erica up on Friday and asked if she was free today. As it turned out, she was going to call me anyway to see if we planned on going to a Purim carnival this weekend (we are, at our synagogue, tomorrow morning).
Anyway....the girls disappeared into Rachel's room and Erica and I started talking...and talking...and talking. (I had made gingerbread for Bridgette and her mom, and also for Erica and Sunny, and both kids got to take some home). I also decided to take advantage of the time at home and started making challah.
Turns out Erica has gone through a nightmarish past few months. The house she and Jeff bought at the height of the market in Long Island was underwater financially BEFORE Hurricane Sandy hit. Sandy took all their possessions; their house was three feet deep in raw sewage and they lost everything except a bunch of photographs, a few changes of clothing, Jeff's photography equipment (he works in insurance during the day and is a photog on the side) and all of Sunny's toys and bedroom furniture. Jeff got a job offer out here and they moved a couple of weeks ago. They are still trying to deal with FEMA and the insurance folks back East (they were interviewed by Newsday and Jeff's video of the exploding sewer line, totally the fault of the sewer department and not Hurricane Sandy), settling in here where the rental market is very tight although they just signed a lease on a house -- and yet Erica remains positive and focused on building a life for themselves out here. I was awed by her confidence and composure and kept telling her how sorry I was that she had to go through all of that, and she responded that it wasn't really the stuff she cared about. It sounds as if she just wants to make the best of it and move on, and I silently resolved to help her do so.
Then we went to dinner at Laurelwood Brewpub, which has a great play area that Rachel loves, and the kids had a good time until Erica and I realized it wast past 9 and we really had to get the girls home. I gave Erica a list of furniture stores she should check out (she's looking at consignment furniture and IKEA) and told her we'd have them over in March. I think they'll turn out to be good friends.
We had two playdates after dance class -- Bridgette, who is Rachel's age and lives three blocks away; I met Bridgette's mom, Max, in a mom's class after I gave birth. We have gone to Max's cookie-making party for the neighborhood kids every October and last time Rachel and Bridgette really hit it off, so I thought it was time to invite them here. The girls had a ball running around, trying to build a pillow fort (Rachel's latest obsession these days), pulling out all of the castle/princess/pony-themed toys that Rachel has, and finally settling down to watch "Barbie in Swan Lake" huddled under a blanket while I lay on the futon and caught a 15-minute nap (Dad, now I understand why you napped so much when Daniella and I were kids, and Mom, I have no idea how you managed on so little sleep. Take a bow, both of you. I only have one girl, not two, so I really shouldn't complain).
After Bridgette left, Sunny and her Mom Erica came over. I met them a few weeks ago at "A Jewish Night at the Museum," where the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry (OMSI) opened their doors to a mostly Jewish crowd at night; I met Erica, Sunny (who is a few months older than Rachel) and Erica's husband, Jeff, as we were pulling into the parking lot. They just moved here from Long Island, and Erica grew up in Englewood. The girls really liked each other and I liked Erica and Jeff, so I called Erica up on Friday and asked if she was free today. As it turned out, she was going to call me anyway to see if we planned on going to a Purim carnival this weekend (we are, at our synagogue, tomorrow morning).
Anyway....the girls disappeared into Rachel's room and Erica and I started talking...and talking...and talking. (I had made gingerbread for Bridgette and her mom, and also for Erica and Sunny, and both kids got to take some home). I also decided to take advantage of the time at home and started making challah.
Turns out Erica has gone through a nightmarish past few months. The house she and Jeff bought at the height of the market in Long Island was underwater financially BEFORE Hurricane Sandy hit. Sandy took all their possessions; their house was three feet deep in raw sewage and they lost everything except a bunch of photographs, a few changes of clothing, Jeff's photography equipment (he works in insurance during the day and is a photog on the side) and all of Sunny's toys and bedroom furniture. Jeff got a job offer out here and they moved a couple of weeks ago. They are still trying to deal with FEMA and the insurance folks back East (they were interviewed by Newsday and Jeff's video of the exploding sewer line, totally the fault of the sewer department and not Hurricane Sandy), settling in here where the rental market is very tight although they just signed a lease on a house -- and yet Erica remains positive and focused on building a life for themselves out here. I was awed by her confidence and composure and kept telling her how sorry I was that she had to go through all of that, and she responded that it wasn't really the stuff she cared about. It sounds as if she just wants to make the best of it and move on, and I silently resolved to help her do so.
Then we went to dinner at Laurelwood Brewpub, which has a great play area that Rachel loves, and the kids had a good time until Erica and I realized it wast past 9 and we really had to get the girls home. I gave Erica a list of furniture stores she should check out (she's looking at consignment furniture and IKEA) and told her we'd have them over in March. I think they'll turn out to be good friends.
Swan Lake Friday
I had the great good fortune to attend an absolutely magnificent performance of Swan Lake last night by the Oregon Ballet Theatre. Magnificent because I had forgotten how wonderful the Tchaikovsky score is. Parts of it reminded me of music from: a) the circus b) Downton Abbey and c) all those TV sitcoms of the 70s/80s like "Bewitched." The sets were terrific, Odette/Odile was breathtaking to watch...really, it was the kind of evening I revel in. The only thing missing, of course, was my darling little girl and I am still kicking myself that I didn't arrange from my friend Melissa, her daughter Natalie (11) and Melissa's friend Melinda to get matinee tickets. Melissa, Natalie and Melinda all came...but Rachel wasn't there and I missed her terribly. So much so that I couldn't resist buying little crown with purple feathers on top after the performance and I surprised her with it today.
Melissa insisted I wasn't being a bad mommy by not bringing Rachel -- that she'll see many, many Swan Lakes before she grows up. "Did you see it when you were 4?" she demanded, and I had to say no. (At least, I think not. Grandma, feel free to weigh in on this if you remember). I'm just worried that OBT may not do this ballet for a while again and that Rachel and I have missed our opportunity to see it. "Barbie in Swan Lake," the video, is lovely, but it just doesn't compare.
Melissa insisted I wasn't being a bad mommy by not bringing Rachel -- that she'll see many, many Swan Lakes before she grows up. "Did you see it when you were 4?" she demanded, and I had to say no. (At least, I think not. Grandma, feel free to weigh in on this if you remember). I'm just worried that OBT may not do this ballet for a while again and that Rachel and I have missed our opportunity to see it. "Barbie in Swan Lake," the video, is lovely, but it just doesn't compare.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Chorus night
My chorus is getting ready to head to regional competition in Boise in April, so our director, Ryan, is loading up on the coaching sessions. Thankfully they're on weeknights instead of Friday night and all day Saturday. Drew happens to be in Seattle this Thursday, Friday AND Saturday (yuck), so I hauled Rachel to a coaching session tonight. Rehearsal was at a funeral home near our house -- for some reason, the church in which we practice wasn't available -- so I was able to race home from preschool, heat up some chicken and potatoes and we ate a quick dinner before heading to practice. Rachel has learned the "Quiet Game," where we make a zipping motion with our fingers across our lips to signal no talking. She insisted we do that during dinner, and it must have helped, we got to chorus with five minutes to spare.
I brought Rachel's nightie and sleeping bag just in case she wanted to follow the lead of another kid there, the son of one of our prospective members, who brings his toys and sleeping bag to rehearsal every week; I'm guessing he's the son of a single mom. She sat very quietly in the front, paging through her books and occasionally looking up and smiling at me. We blew kisses at each other whenever Ryan wasn't looking. Although I loved having her there, it was so distracting! All I wanted to do was grab her and cuddle her in my lap, but I had to concentrate on every single bloody phrase and every single bloody move of a song I'm really sick of. Arghh....
Rehearsal began at 7:45 and we left at 9:10, and Rachel got to bed at 9:45 so it all worked out. She will either grow up with barbershop in her blood, or loathe singing the rest of her life.
Rachel-isms from today:
"I can't eat one more bit without a hug, or I'll starve to death!" Rachel announced as we were eating dinner in a rare break from the Quiet Game. After she hugged and kissed me she said, "Ahh...now THAT'S refreshment! For my eating process."
***
We talked a little bit about Barbies as I was kissing her goodnight. She wonders if Grandma has kept any of my toys, and I said she'd have to ask her when we go back East for Passover (I'm buying plane tickets tomorrow). I told her I had the Barbie Beach Bus, Barbie, and a lot of her clothes.
"Mommy?" Rachel asked. "Why did you like Barbies?"
"Oh, I don't know," I replied. "Most girls like Barbies."
"You don't have to like Barbies to fit in, you know," Rachel said, a touch of asperity in her voice. "You just have to be yourself!"
I have no idea where she gets this from.
I brought Rachel's nightie and sleeping bag just in case she wanted to follow the lead of another kid there, the son of one of our prospective members, who brings his toys and sleeping bag to rehearsal every week; I'm guessing he's the son of a single mom. She sat very quietly in the front, paging through her books and occasionally looking up and smiling at me. We blew kisses at each other whenever Ryan wasn't looking. Although I loved having her there, it was so distracting! All I wanted to do was grab her and cuddle her in my lap, but I had to concentrate on every single bloody phrase and every single bloody move of a song I'm really sick of. Arghh....
Rehearsal began at 7:45 and we left at 9:10, and Rachel got to bed at 9:45 so it all worked out. She will either grow up with barbershop in her blood, or loathe singing the rest of her life.
Rachel-isms from today:
"I can't eat one more bit without a hug, or I'll starve to death!" Rachel announced as we were eating dinner in a rare break from the Quiet Game. After she hugged and kissed me she said, "Ahh...now THAT'S refreshment! For my eating process."
***
We talked a little bit about Barbies as I was kissing her goodnight. She wonders if Grandma has kept any of my toys, and I said she'd have to ask her when we go back East for Passover (I'm buying plane tickets tomorrow). I told her I had the Barbie Beach Bus, Barbie, and a lot of her clothes.
"Mommy?" Rachel asked. "Why did you like Barbies?"
"Oh, I don't know," I replied. "Most girls like Barbies."
"You don't have to like Barbies to fit in, you know," Rachel said, a touch of asperity in her voice. "You just have to be yourself!"
I have no idea where she gets this from.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Rachel's sage advice
I've been having some difficulty at work with a guy I'll call E. He seems to think he's my boss and is trying to get me to do things that my actual boss and I are refusing to do. It is causing a lot of tension and stress in my life, and I tend to come home tired and discouraged at the end of the day.
Yesterday Rachel asked me what was the matter, and I gave her an abbreviated version. Her advice:
"Do you have the Solutions Wheel in your head, Mommy?"
Drew replied, "I think they should have the Solutions Wheel at work."
Rachel continued:
"I think you need to go to work and say, 'E, if you keep spoiling my life I'm gonna ignore you. But if you don't want me to do that, you've gotta stop spoiling my life and do what I want you to do.'"
Then she added,
"'E, I think whatever you say or not, I don't think you should make me do all this. You're not my boss. Peter's my boss.' And then you should go back to your desk and finish your work. I don't want Peter to know you were getting distracted talking to E."
What's causing the tension is E's insistence that I fill out paperwork that is time-consuming and doesn't serve any purpose except to cede power.
"You know what I would say?" Rachel said. "You should only answer some of the questions, and maybe E will change his mind and maybe you'll be able to work things out."
"That's excellent advice," Drew said. "I think we should have preschoolers running things!"
"Well, I'm not old enough to be a president," Rachel cautioned. "Remember, I'm not a grownup. I'm not the President and I'm not going to take Mommy's place for a long, long time."
Rachel ROCKS!!
Yesterday Rachel asked me what was the matter, and I gave her an abbreviated version. Her advice:
"Do you have the Solutions Wheel in your head, Mommy?"
Drew replied, "I think they should have the Solutions Wheel at work."
Rachel continued:
"I think you need to go to work and say, 'E, if you keep spoiling my life I'm gonna ignore you. But if you don't want me to do that, you've gotta stop spoiling my life and do what I want you to do.'"
Then she added,
"'E, I think whatever you say or not, I don't think you should make me do all this. You're not my boss. Peter's my boss.' And then you should go back to your desk and finish your work. I don't want Peter to know you were getting distracted talking to E."
What's causing the tension is E's insistence that I fill out paperwork that is time-consuming and doesn't serve any purpose except to cede power.
"You know what I would say?" Rachel said. "You should only answer some of the questions, and maybe E will change his mind and maybe you'll be able to work things out."
"That's excellent advice," Drew said. "I think we should have preschoolers running things!"
"Well, I'm not old enough to be a president," Rachel cautioned. "Remember, I'm not a grownup. I'm not the President and I'm not going to take Mommy's place for a long, long time."
Rachel ROCKS!!
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Dinner with Peter and Sam
Well, we had a great time. I made roast chicken, roasted red potatoes with rosemary, a pear and gorgonzola salad and chocolate silk pie. Drew built a fire and we had music on the CD player the whole time. Rachel was her usual incredibly charming self; she focused on eating her dinner, didn't interrupt unless it was to get Drew a glass of water, and after dessert she cleared her plate without even being asked! She gave both men big hugs before she went to bed. "Rachel is AWESOME!" Sam said. "She has such poise." They promised to invite us to dinner at their place...and include Rachel, of course.
We all had a great time discussing politics, the state of newspapers, what I'm trying to do with the magazine, what Sam is trying to do in his new job, the new book Peter's working on, etc. They both had second helpings of chicken and pie, and stayed until after 10. Drew is cleaning up and I'm heading to bed. He and Rachel have off tomorrow (Presidents Day), and they already have a playdate set up for 9:30 in the morning. I, of course, am headed to work. One of these days, I mean it, I'll take a day off....
We all had a great time discussing politics, the state of newspapers, what I'm trying to do with the magazine, what Sam is trying to do in his new job, the new book Peter's working on, etc. They both had second helpings of chicken and pie, and stayed until after 10. Drew is cleaning up and I'm heading to bed. He and Rachel have off tomorrow (Presidents Day), and they already have a playdate set up for 9:30 in the morning. I, of course, am headed to work. One of these days, I mean it, I'll take a day off....
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Deli chavurah
Our chavurah met tonight and the theme was "New York Deli." Drew offered to bring hot dogs and buns, which we did, and he strenuously argued against me making any dessert, which I was sorely tempted to do. This time I listened and instead spent the afternoon cleaning the house. We are having dinner guests tomorrow -- Peter, a former colleague of mine from the Oregonian and now a best-selling book author, and his partner Sam, the former mayor of Portland. Yes, the house has to look perfect. Yes, the food has to be spectacular. And yes, I am just the tiniest bit nervous.
Rachel spent most of the chavurah playing with the other kids; we are now at the point where we can truly relax and socialize with the other grownups while the kids play. Toward the end of the evening Rachel kept coming in and announcing things she wanted to perform -- a song, a parade -- and started each announcement with, "Ladies and Gentlemen! Turn OFF your cell phones! I hope you are listening!"
(The adults continued talking).
Then she'd start marching, or fiddling with a stuffed cube that lit up, or a baton with streamers on the end, get bored or realize no one was listening, then run back into another room with Eva, the daughter of one of our chavurah members who I guess is about 10. Eva was very good-natured with Rachel; she chatted with her while they ate dinner together on the sofa and gave Rachel all the piggybacks she wanted. It is really heartening to see all the kids take Rachel into their fold and try to amuse her. I can tell it makes her feel special to be treated like a big kid.
On the way home she started getting very bossy. At one point, she scolded Drew, "Concentrate! You have to look for cars for Mommy to not crash into!" I had to gently scold her as she was getting ready for bed that sometimes it's funny how she tells us what to do but that's not really her place. I hope she got the message. It's hard to know when to shut her down, she's so droll!
Rachel spent most of the chavurah playing with the other kids; we are now at the point where we can truly relax and socialize with the other grownups while the kids play. Toward the end of the evening Rachel kept coming in and announcing things she wanted to perform -- a song, a parade -- and started each announcement with, "Ladies and Gentlemen! Turn OFF your cell phones! I hope you are listening!"
(The adults continued talking).
Then she'd start marching, or fiddling with a stuffed cube that lit up, or a baton with streamers on the end, get bored or realize no one was listening, then run back into another room with Eva, the daughter of one of our chavurah members who I guess is about 10. Eva was very good-natured with Rachel; she chatted with her while they ate dinner together on the sofa and gave Rachel all the piggybacks she wanted. It is really heartening to see all the kids take Rachel into their fold and try to amuse her. I can tell it makes her feel special to be treated like a big kid.
On the way home she started getting very bossy. At one point, she scolded Drew, "Concentrate! You have to look for cars for Mommy to not crash into!" I had to gently scold her as she was getting ready for bed that sometimes it's funny how she tells us what to do but that's not really her place. I hope she got the message. It's hard to know when to shut her down, she's so droll!
What the babysitter said
It was a Lincoln kind of night yesterday; Drew and I ate at a restaurant in North Portland called "Lincoln," and then ended up seeing "Lincoln," the movie. Corrie (sp?), a new teacher at Rachel's preschool, agreed to babysit and Rachel was so excited that she began counting down the days earlier this week. After Corrie arrived, Rachel couldn't push us out of the house fast enough. "Goodbye!" she kept saying. "Put your shoes on and go!" No separation anxiety issues with this one...
Drew told me later that while I was changing into going-out clothes, Corrie gushed about Rachel. And I mean gushed. "Rachel is the most well-behaved, sweetest, smartest kid at St. James," she declared. She told Drew that she was very impressed by how well-mannered she is and that she had wanted to meet us for a while because "whatever you're doing, I want to learn." (Corrie is quite young, probably in her early 20s I would guess). When we got home she said Rachel had been a lot of fun; right after we left, she said, Rachel asked her, "Do you have any relatives? What are their names?" and basically made Corrie go through her entire family tree. And then Rachel started making connections: "So, Peggy is the wife of..." etc.
Corrie also told us that last week during naptime Rachel snuggled up to her and then said, "Tell me about something special in your life." Corrie was so floored, she had to really think hard to answer!
According to Corrie, they STILL remember Rachel in the infants and mobiles section of St. James and often remark what a sweet little baby she was. Corrie also tells all her friends about Rachel, to the point that they're demanding to see photos so she has taken one or two to show them. She told all of her friends how excited she was to be able to babysit Rachel, even after a long day at school.
I was blushing by the end of it but secretly pleased that at least one person at St. James appreciates how wonderful our little girl is -- and let us know!
Drew told me later that while I was changing into going-out clothes, Corrie gushed about Rachel. And I mean gushed. "Rachel is the most well-behaved, sweetest, smartest kid at St. James," she declared. She told Drew that she was very impressed by how well-mannered she is and that she had wanted to meet us for a while because "whatever you're doing, I want to learn." (Corrie is quite young, probably in her early 20s I would guess). When we got home she said Rachel had been a lot of fun; right after we left, she said, Rachel asked her, "Do you have any relatives? What are their names?" and basically made Corrie go through her entire family tree. And then Rachel started making connections: "So, Peggy is the wife of..." etc.
Corrie also told us that last week during naptime Rachel snuggled up to her and then said, "Tell me about something special in your life." Corrie was so floored, she had to really think hard to answer!
According to Corrie, they STILL remember Rachel in the infants and mobiles section of St. James and often remark what a sweet little baby she was. Corrie also tells all her friends about Rachel, to the point that they're demanding to see photos so she has taken one or two to show them. She told all of her friends how excited she was to be able to babysit Rachel, even after a long day at school.
I was blushing by the end of it but secretly pleased that at least one person at St. James appreciates how wonderful our little girl is -- and let us know!
Friday, February 15, 2013
Shabbat
We are not having Shabbat dinner or lighting the candles tonight because Drew and I are going out to dinner, and next week I have tickets to the ballet with my friend Melissa and have to scramble for a babysitter because Drew will be in Seattle. I'm getting really, really tired of working around his schedule.
I try to take Rachel to synagogue at least once a month but that doesn't always happen. Last week we didn't go, either, and she said, "the rabbi will be SO disappointed not to see me." That's probably true.
Last Friday she said something unbelievably sweet: "Know what I said to Daddy in the car?" she asked. "It's not Shabbat without Mama."
"Aww, Rachel!" I said, touched.
"It's NEVER Shabbat without you!" she exclaimed. I feel so loved...
I try to take Rachel to synagogue at least once a month but that doesn't always happen. Last week we didn't go, either, and she said, "the rabbi will be SO disappointed not to see me." That's probably true.
Last Friday she said something unbelievably sweet: "Know what I said to Daddy in the car?" she asked. "It's not Shabbat without Mama."
"Aww, Rachel!" I said, touched.
"It's NEVER Shabbat without you!" she exclaimed. I feel so loved...
Valentine's Day!
We had lovely Valentine's Day celebration last night. Trying to re-create the wonderful Valentine's Days of my childhood, when Mom decorated the dinner table, bought us presents and made a special dessert, I instructed Drew to buy cupcakes from St. Cupcake, our favorite cupcake place (I was too busy to make some from scratch, alas), and I set out red placemats, white plates, lit a candle and strung a red garland of hearts Drew bought around the window and put up a heart garland on the wall. I had bought Rachel a little stuffed pink hamster at the Hallmark store where we bought wrapping paper for Drew's gift ("Seattle socks" from Rachel because his socks have holes in them, and a rugby shirt from me, both from Eddie Bauer) and some candy hearts from Willamette, where the students were selling them for a fundraiser. Rachel was delighted with her gifts, as Drew was with his -- and I got a gift certificate for a massage that I plan to use in two weeks.
Rachel gave me a valentine yesterday morning and a card with an envelope that said "Mommy" in tipsy capital letters. She gave both of us lots of hugs last night until we had to urge her to finish her soup so she could have her cupcake and get to bed on time. At one point she said dramatically, "I'm LOST for words!" and we laughed. Then she said, "Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! Happy Valentine's Day FAMILY."
She also tried to give me one of the two dozen or so valentines she got at school. When I protested that they were hers to keep, she said, "I have plenty of valentines and you have only one. So I'm giving you one of mine. And that's that."
As I was getting ready to read to her, we pretended that her stuffed hamster, who she named "Hanny," kept thinking I was its mommy and Rachel was its grandma, which caused Rachel to crack up repeatedly -- it's amazing how easy it is to make her laugh -- and we all agreed it had been a fantastic party. I'm already thinking about how much more elaborate it'll be next year!!
Rachel gave me a valentine yesterday morning and a card with an envelope that said "Mommy" in tipsy capital letters. She gave both of us lots of hugs last night until we had to urge her to finish her soup so she could have her cupcake and get to bed on time. At one point she said dramatically, "I'm LOST for words!" and we laughed. Then she said, "Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! Happy Valentine's Day FAMILY."
She also tried to give me one of the two dozen or so valentines she got at school. When I protested that they were hers to keep, she said, "I have plenty of valentines and you have only one. So I'm giving you one of mine. And that's that."
As I was getting ready to read to her, we pretended that her stuffed hamster, who she named "Hanny," kept thinking I was its mommy and Rachel was its grandma, which caused Rachel to crack up repeatedly -- it's amazing how easy it is to make her laugh -- and we all agreed it had been a fantastic party. I'm already thinking about how much more elaborate it'll be next year!!
Lord of the Fireflies, Part 2
You may remember from a previous post that I jokingly refer to Rachel's preschool class, called the Fireflies, as "Lord of the Fireflies" because of all the teasing, pushing, hitting and biting that goes on. According to Rachel, she gets a lot of it. I always ask her what she does, and she always says she tells the teacher, who then scolds the kid, but then it keeps happening.
A week or so ago she said that Ben had thrown his backpack at her head and that was why she was in a bad mood (she was being whiny before dinner, and Drew was so annoyed he sent her to her room). When I went in and asked her what was the matter, she said she had had a bad day at school and told me about Ben. I took her on my lap and said I was sorry that had happened to her but that doesn't give her the right to take it out on us. I also asked Ben if he was a twin, and she said no. Does he have a brother or sister? I asked. He has a baby sister, Rachel said. Well, I explained, sometimes if a kid has a younger brother or sister at home, he or she may feel jealous and the only way they can express that is by acting out at school. That's not an excuse, of course, I told her, just an explanation. She threw her arms around me and said, "You give good advice, Mommy. I feel about you the way you feel about Peter." (Peter is the dean of the law school who's leaving in June).
The other day she came home with a red mark over her eye and claimed Ben, one of the kids there, had bitten her. I gave her an icee (a small plastic toy I store in the freezer) for her to put on her eye to make it feel better. She said he had teased her at school that day, saying "Rachel is smelly!" So I instructed her to tell him the next day that "Ben, you're a putzhead!" We practiced it a couple of times. She said he also told her that he was going to marry her someday even if she didn't want to.
So, when she came home from school earlier this week, she told me that she told Ben, "Ben, you're a putzhead! And I think you just love me."
"What did he SAY?" I asked.
"Whuh...Whuh...Whu...."
ATTAGIRL!!!
A week or so ago she said that Ben had thrown his backpack at her head and that was why she was in a bad mood (she was being whiny before dinner, and Drew was so annoyed he sent her to her room). When I went in and asked her what was the matter, she said she had had a bad day at school and told me about Ben. I took her on my lap and said I was sorry that had happened to her but that doesn't give her the right to take it out on us. I also asked Ben if he was a twin, and she said no. Does he have a brother or sister? I asked. He has a baby sister, Rachel said. Well, I explained, sometimes if a kid has a younger brother or sister at home, he or she may feel jealous and the only way they can express that is by acting out at school. That's not an excuse, of course, I told her, just an explanation. She threw her arms around me and said, "You give good advice, Mommy. I feel about you the way you feel about Peter." (Peter is the dean of the law school who's leaving in June).
The other day she came home with a red mark over her eye and claimed Ben, one of the kids there, had bitten her. I gave her an icee (a small plastic toy I store in the freezer) for her to put on her eye to make it feel better. She said he had teased her at school that day, saying "Rachel is smelly!" So I instructed her to tell him the next day that "Ben, you're a putzhead!" We practiced it a couple of times. She said he also told her that he was going to marry her someday even if she didn't want to.
So, when she came home from school earlier this week, she told me that she told Ben, "Ben, you're a putzhead! And I think you just love me."
"What did he SAY?" I asked.
"Whuh...Whuh...Whu...."
ATTAGIRL!!!
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Why Rachel is likely to have a literary career
..despite my best efforts to steer her toward math and science (thank you, Uncle Airplane!), Drew is disregarding my advice and keeps telling Rachel about...writing. Here's how a conversation between us went at dinner tonight:
Rachel: "Do you know what it's called when you start with Alina and Bibble and come back to Alina and Bibble?"
Me: "What?"
Rachel (shrieking): "Framing device!"
That kid....
***
Rachel was imitating Drew shaking his butt when he spins the lettuce for our salad. "I couldn't have a daddy sillier than him!" she said. Yes, I told her, that is the truth.
***
For the past few weeks or so, Rachel has been even more cuddly and kissy than usual, and extra-appreciative of us as parents.
Tonight she said, "Mom, you're the best!"
"Why am I the best?" I asked.
"Because you make fair rules," she said. "And you do what I want. And you buy me things."
I don't know whether to be happy or dismayed. I'm just glad she has learned to express gratitude so openly.
Rachel: "Do you know what it's called when you start with Alina and Bibble and come back to Alina and Bibble?"
Me: "What?"
Rachel (shrieking): "Framing device!"
That kid....
***
Rachel was imitating Drew shaking his butt when he spins the lettuce for our salad. "I couldn't have a daddy sillier than him!" she said. Yes, I told her, that is the truth.
***
For the past few weeks or so, Rachel has been even more cuddly and kissy than usual, and extra-appreciative of us as parents.
Tonight she said, "Mom, you're the best!"
"Why am I the best?" I asked.
"Because you make fair rules," she said. "And you do what I want. And you buy me things."
I don't know whether to be happy or dismayed. I'm just glad she has learned to express gratitude so openly.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Back on schedule
For the last two weeks Drew has worked Thursdays/Fridays in Seattle; this week we're back to the normal Monday/Tuesday schedule which is good because I want us all home on Shabbat so we can have a nice family dinner together. (Yes, Mom and Dad, I am endeavoring to recreate Shabbat dinners that we had in Hackensack, except that Mom is a far better cook than I am and sets a nicer table. However, the sprit is there in Portland).
After I picked up Rachel we went to Lloyd Center, a mall within biking distance of our house (as I pointed out to Rachel, someday she can take her bike there and I won't be stuck giving her rides back and forth, at least in nice weather. Yay!!). I wanted to get frames for some lovely watercolor pictures of ballerinas we bought for $10 at the garage sale of our crazy neighbor Ralph that I wrote about earlier in January. Rachel chose the frames, white ones, not my first choice but she's 4 1/2 and I want her to start making her own decisions about esthetics. "There's so much here!" she said as we walked through the mall, which made sense because I rarely go to malls and thus she isn't exposed much to them. Actually, I don't do much non-essential shopping these days. We spent some time watching the ice skaters -- Lloyd Center has a skating rink -- and Rachel said she'd like to try skating. "I can take lessons after school," she said, so I'll have to look into that.
Then we came home and she curled up in front of the heater while I re-heated some quesadillas we had gotten at a restaurant a few weeks ago on our way back from Seattle; the food was still good and we are making a conscious effort to eat leftovers before they go bad. Rachel was so sweet during dinner; she kept saying, "Mommy, I love you. Mommy, I love you SO much," and I kept thanking her and telling her I loved her, too. It must be a trend; last night at dinner she told Drew and me, "You're the BEST parents!" Too bad that sentiment is unlikely to last...
***
Apropos of nothing tonight:
"Do you know the more sleep I get the more energy I get in my body?" Rachel asked at dinner tonight.
"How do you know that?" I asked.
"Because!" Rachel said. "That's how it works!"
***
"I hid my animals," Rachel announced this morning, "because I don't want them to get to the cake and the brownies."
The only animals Rachel has are stuffed. Go figure...
I am trying to get Rachel down to sleep as early as possible, but sometimes it's difficult. Like last week at 11 p.m. when I heard her rummaging around her closet because she was looking for pony stickers she had promised to bring to school for Tessa. I told her very firmly that she was crazy to be doing that at this hour and to GET BACK TO BED. Similarly, tonight she decided she didn't want to sleep in her sleeping back after all because her animals were crowding her, so she moved everything to her bed...at 10:20. We should be sued for depriving our kid of sleep!
After I picked up Rachel we went to Lloyd Center, a mall within biking distance of our house (as I pointed out to Rachel, someday she can take her bike there and I won't be stuck giving her rides back and forth, at least in nice weather. Yay!!). I wanted to get frames for some lovely watercolor pictures of ballerinas we bought for $10 at the garage sale of our crazy neighbor Ralph that I wrote about earlier in January. Rachel chose the frames, white ones, not my first choice but she's 4 1/2 and I want her to start making her own decisions about esthetics. "There's so much here!" she said as we walked through the mall, which made sense because I rarely go to malls and thus she isn't exposed much to them. Actually, I don't do much non-essential shopping these days. We spent some time watching the ice skaters -- Lloyd Center has a skating rink -- and Rachel said she'd like to try skating. "I can take lessons after school," she said, so I'll have to look into that.
Then we came home and she curled up in front of the heater while I re-heated some quesadillas we had gotten at a restaurant a few weeks ago on our way back from Seattle; the food was still good and we are making a conscious effort to eat leftovers before they go bad. Rachel was so sweet during dinner; she kept saying, "Mommy, I love you. Mommy, I love you SO much," and I kept thanking her and telling her I loved her, too. It must be a trend; last night at dinner she told Drew and me, "You're the BEST parents!" Too bad that sentiment is unlikely to last...
***
Apropos of nothing tonight:
"Do you know the more sleep I get the more energy I get in my body?" Rachel asked at dinner tonight.
"How do you know that?" I asked.
"Because!" Rachel said. "That's how it works!"
***
"I hid my animals," Rachel announced this morning, "because I don't want them to get to the cake and the brownies."
The only animals Rachel has are stuffed. Go figure...
I am trying to get Rachel down to sleep as early as possible, but sometimes it's difficult. Like last week at 11 p.m. when I heard her rummaging around her closet because she was looking for pony stickers she had promised to bring to school for Tessa. I told her very firmly that she was crazy to be doing that at this hour and to GET BACK TO BED. Similarly, tonight she decided she didn't want to sleep in her sleeping back after all because her animals were crowding her, so she moved everything to her bed...at 10:20. We should be sued for depriving our kid of sleep!
Weekend recap
Rachel and I had a delightful Friday night after a ghastly two weeks. I was too tired to cook, and Drew reassured me that the bank account had enough money for Rachel and I to eat out, which we did -- at Kenny & Zuke's. She really is a wonderful dinner companion and I told her that when she got older we'd have Mommy and Rachel weekends in Seattle and leave Daddy at home. We could visit Auntie Amanda and Auntie Jenn, and Anne and Jean...
"And Uncle Airplane!" she exclaimed.
When I tried to explain that Uncle Airplane was a guy and couldn't be part of Girls Weekend, she got very upset and insist David be included. So, David Lednicer, I guess that means you're an honorary girl!
***
On Saturday I spent much of the day re-writing and editing parts of the magazine. (This weekend should be the last one where I'll have to work Saturday for quite a while). Rachel and Drew spent the day together and then brought home pizza for our regular Saturday Family Movie Night. Drew had bought Barbie Swan Lake after spying the DVD for sale in Seattle, and we surprised Rachel with it. The only reason I put up with these movies is a) they all have a classical music background, so in effect it's Barbie With Some Class, and b) the storylines are pretty interesting, and Swan Lake generally followed the ballet -- right down the choreography of the dance sequences. Rachel actually recognizes music from Swan Lake, The Nutcracker and the Pastorale Symphony and she claims her favorite music is classical, so that's all that really matters.
It's also a favorite thing to watch Rachel and Drew dance the ballet as the music plays over the closing credits. Rachel has decided that she and I need to perform "Swan Lake" for Drew, in the living room, but we have to rehearse beforehand. I was informed this morning before I left for work that the dress rehearsal will be sometime next weekend and the show will be at 8. Hopefully I will know my part perfectly because Daddy is a very demanding audience!
***
On Sunday Rachel and I got together with Amy and her son, Jake, who is older than Rachel but was remarkably friendly and patient as they played hide-and-go-seek, did coloring (Rachel) and played in Jake's room. Amy and I dubbed the playdate "Bakefest" because she claims she has trouble with cakes (which I don't really believe:)) and we had a good time catching up on our lives and mixing ingredients. I baked a pumpkin cocoa cake and gave Amy half; she baked a batch of brownies and gave half to me. We had so much fun that we vowed to make this a tradition, perhaps monthly, and I told her that in March we're tackling babka. (I have a complicated recipe from a fabulous cookbook that Uncle Jack and Aunt Kay gave me for Hanukkah called, "Jerusalem," and it has a babka recipe I'm dying to try but it requires preparing the dough overnight, spreading chocolate and rolling it up, then braiding it and THEN baking it. Not much fun to do alone, but I figure Amy and I can help each other through the experience.
"And Uncle Airplane!" she exclaimed.
When I tried to explain that Uncle Airplane was a guy and couldn't be part of Girls Weekend, she got very upset and insist David be included. So, David Lednicer, I guess that means you're an honorary girl!
***
On Saturday I spent much of the day re-writing and editing parts of the magazine. (This weekend should be the last one where I'll have to work Saturday for quite a while). Rachel and Drew spent the day together and then brought home pizza for our regular Saturday Family Movie Night. Drew had bought Barbie Swan Lake after spying the DVD for sale in Seattle, and we surprised Rachel with it. The only reason I put up with these movies is a) they all have a classical music background, so in effect it's Barbie With Some Class, and b) the storylines are pretty interesting, and Swan Lake generally followed the ballet -- right down the choreography of the dance sequences. Rachel actually recognizes music from Swan Lake, The Nutcracker and the Pastorale Symphony and she claims her favorite music is classical, so that's all that really matters.
It's also a favorite thing to watch Rachel and Drew dance the ballet as the music plays over the closing credits. Rachel has decided that she and I need to perform "Swan Lake" for Drew, in the living room, but we have to rehearse beforehand. I was informed this morning before I left for work that the dress rehearsal will be sometime next weekend and the show will be at 8. Hopefully I will know my part perfectly because Daddy is a very demanding audience!
***
On Sunday Rachel and I got together with Amy and her son, Jake, who is older than Rachel but was remarkably friendly and patient as they played hide-and-go-seek, did coloring (Rachel) and played in Jake's room. Amy and I dubbed the playdate "Bakefest" because she claims she has trouble with cakes (which I don't really believe:)) and we had a good time catching up on our lives and mixing ingredients. I baked a pumpkin cocoa cake and gave Amy half; she baked a batch of brownies and gave half to me. We had so much fun that we vowed to make this a tradition, perhaps monthly, and I told her that in March we're tackling babka. (I have a complicated recipe from a fabulous cookbook that Uncle Jack and Aunt Kay gave me for Hanukkah called, "Jerusalem," and it has a babka recipe I'm dying to try but it requires preparing the dough overnight, spreading chocolate and rolling it up, then braiding it and THEN baking it. Not much fun to do alone, but I figure Amy and I can help each other through the experience.
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