So, we got the results of a reading readiness test that the school district gives kindergarteners at the beginning and end of kindergarten. The test assesses things like whether the kids can recognize certain letter sounds, read certain words, recognize rhymes, sounds, know the alphabet, simple spelling, etc.
The benchmark score -- i.e., the expectation for kindergarten -- is a score of 28. The highest possible score is 102.
Rachel scored a 95.
This explains an exchange that happened at recess last week. Rachel noticed, in her words, that one of the 2nd grade girls was "excluding" another little girl. "You're being disrespectful," she scolded the 2nd grader.
"What's 'disrespectful' mean?" the girl asked.
See my point?
Sunday, November 24, 2013
A troubling trend
Rachel is not the perfect child; she can get whiny and mopey when she doesn't get her way. Sometimes she even has a mild temper tantrum when one of her friends isn't home to play, or we won't let her do something she'd like to do.
Drew and I rarely yell at her and never spank her; we just speak sternly to her and tell her to knock it off. Or, we'll let her know that we're disappointed in her behavior. Her reaction is very interesting (and heartbreaking): usually she'll hug me fiercely and say, "I want MOMMY," and start to cry, and then she'll offer to do something dramatic, the worst thing she can think of to punish herself. Usually that involves throwing her favorite stuffed animals or her bathrobe in the garbage. Once in Portland she said she tried to hit and pinch herself as punishment (this was when Drew was in D.C. and I was trying to close out our life in Oregon and I flew off the handle at some tiny thing she did. I was so upset that she was trying to hurt herself that I took her into my lap, sobbed, and told her to promise me that she'd never, ever hurt herself again. She hasn't done that since).
Anyway, tonight she did something similar. She was upset at the end of "Angelina Ballerina" that there wasn't enough music on the movie for her and Drew to dance to (they usually dance at the end of all the episodes before she goes up to bed) and so she got whiny and said, "it's not FAIR!" Drew had to remind her that she'd had a very nice day and gotten her way on a lot of things, and that it didn't make sense for her to focus on the one thing she didn't get.
When it was time for her to say goodnight to me after her bath, she got all weepy, and said "I want MOMMY."
"What's the matter?" I asked her.
"I want MOMMY!" she insisted.
I hoisted her onto the counter and said gently, "are you upset at yourself that you made such a fuss after the movie?"
"YES!" she said, bursting into tears. "I told Daddy that we should stop celebrating my BIRTHDAY!"
I told her gently that I understood that she was upset she had acted that way and that she wanted to punish herself, but told her that instead of doing that, she should focus on how not to exhibit that behavior in the first place. "Can you try to remember that next time?" I asked her.
"Yess," she said. "I hope I don't cry on the way to school. I don't like crying in public. Everyone looks at you and it's embarrassing."
I told her a week or so ago, when she insisted on throwing her stuffed animals into the garbage to punish herself, that she shouldn't do that. I took her into my lap, looked into her eyes, and said, "Rachel, the world will punish you enough. Don't punish yourself, OK?" Evidently that didn't take.
Hopefully, our discussion tonight will.
Drew and I rarely yell at her and never spank her; we just speak sternly to her and tell her to knock it off. Or, we'll let her know that we're disappointed in her behavior. Her reaction is very interesting (and heartbreaking): usually she'll hug me fiercely and say, "I want MOMMY," and start to cry, and then she'll offer to do something dramatic, the worst thing she can think of to punish herself. Usually that involves throwing her favorite stuffed animals or her bathrobe in the garbage. Once in Portland she said she tried to hit and pinch herself as punishment (this was when Drew was in D.C. and I was trying to close out our life in Oregon and I flew off the handle at some tiny thing she did. I was so upset that she was trying to hurt herself that I took her into my lap, sobbed, and told her to promise me that she'd never, ever hurt herself again. She hasn't done that since).
Anyway, tonight she did something similar. She was upset at the end of "Angelina Ballerina" that there wasn't enough music on the movie for her and Drew to dance to (they usually dance at the end of all the episodes before she goes up to bed) and so she got whiny and said, "it's not FAIR!" Drew had to remind her that she'd had a very nice day and gotten her way on a lot of things, and that it didn't make sense for her to focus on the one thing she didn't get.
When it was time for her to say goodnight to me after her bath, she got all weepy, and said "I want MOMMY."
"What's the matter?" I asked her.
"I want MOMMY!" she insisted.
I hoisted her onto the counter and said gently, "are you upset at yourself that you made such a fuss after the movie?"
"YES!" she said, bursting into tears. "I told Daddy that we should stop celebrating my BIRTHDAY!"
I told her gently that I understood that she was upset she had acted that way and that she wanted to punish herself, but told her that instead of doing that, she should focus on how not to exhibit that behavior in the first place. "Can you try to remember that next time?" I asked her.
"Yess," she said. "I hope I don't cry on the way to school. I don't like crying in public. Everyone looks at you and it's embarrassing."
I told her a week or so ago, when she insisted on throwing her stuffed animals into the garbage to punish herself, that she shouldn't do that. I took her into my lap, looked into her eyes, and said, "Rachel, the world will punish you enough. Don't punish yourself, OK?" Evidently that didn't take.
Hopefully, our discussion tonight will.
Rachel the chef
Looks like I'm not the only chef in the family. Rachel, who has taken a cooking class this past semester after school, insisted on making us colored waffles this morning. Drew helped her with the dye, and so she and I had pink waffles and he had blue. (The actual waffles she had learned to make in cooking class were filled with whipped cream, but we started small this morning).
Oh, and last weekend she made us cinnamon tortillas, a dish she had watched the cook at her preschool make. They were excellent.
Of course, Drew helps her put together the dishes, but she is also a big help to me when I make things for dinner parties and special events. Yesterday she cracked the eggs for the chocolate silk pie without making a mess, and she knows how to punch down the dough (and knead it, too) for challah. We are just at the point when I can give her a couple of tasks and then do other parts of the meal, confident that she'll follow my directions.
One of my goals is for her to cook us one meal a week by the time she's 9. We figure that meal will be pretty simple: tacos, maybe, or spaghetti with meat sauce, but at least she'll be confident enough in the kitchen to have picked up the basic life skill of cooking for herself (and others). We'll also round out her education by taking her to the grocery store and having her comparison shop for ingredients and work within a budget. Maybe we're pushing her to be grown-up too soon, but I love the idea of her learning how to be on her own years before she has to do so.
Oh, and last weekend she made us cinnamon tortillas, a dish she had watched the cook at her preschool make. They were excellent.
Of course, Drew helps her put together the dishes, but she is also a big help to me when I make things for dinner parties and special events. Yesterday she cracked the eggs for the chocolate silk pie without making a mess, and she knows how to punch down the dough (and knead it, too) for challah. We are just at the point when I can give her a couple of tasks and then do other parts of the meal, confident that she'll follow my directions.
One of my goals is for her to cook us one meal a week by the time she's 9. We figure that meal will be pretty simple: tacos, maybe, or spaghetti with meat sauce, but at least she'll be confident enough in the kitchen to have picked up the basic life skill of cooking for herself (and others). We'll also round out her education by taking her to the grocery store and having her comparison shop for ingredients and work within a budget. Maybe we're pushing her to be grown-up too soon, but I love the idea of her learning how to be on her own years before she has to do so.
Why we are so lucky to live here
This morning we went to a bowling alley for a get-together with a bunch of folks from all the kindergarten classes at McKinley (there are four). I almost didn't go; I was tired, I knew we had a full day of clothes shopping ahead (in anticipation of the day I get a permanent job, I need to wear clothes that are more suited for D.C. and less fleece and jeans, which I was able to get away with in my old job) and I wasn't feeling very social. But, I went anyway. And, boy, was it worth it. Rachel got to BOWL (and she did pretty well!); Drew and I chatted up a bunch of parents and had a long conversation with the parents of one of Rachel's friends, Simone, who apparently talks about Rachel all the time and refers to her as "one of my best buddies." Simone's dad is a public policy lawyer for Bank of America and his wife is a professor in the communications department at American University (and knows a former colleague of mine from the Oregonian who teaches there). She teaches about social media and is very interested in the work Drew does. I told him on the way back that he should really offer to teach a class there about working with data as a journalist. They would totally eat that up.
Rachel has been wanting to play with Ivy for the last day or so, and we were all set to go shopping at an outlet mall about an hour away, when Ivy's mom called and asked if Rachel wanted to come over. We ended up taking her over there and Jenny, Ivy's mom, graciously offered to let her stay most of the afternoon while Drew and I raced out to Potomac Mills. It helped that Billy, Jenny's husband, said he loves that mall and has gotten great bargains on clothes, and after we repeatedly asked Jenny if she was SURE she was OK with Rachel being there the whole day, we left. At the mall we bought cookies for all the kids as a thank-you, and then Drew bought jeans and I bought a bunch of things that will serve me well when I fully rejoin the working world. Before we knew it was 6, the mall was closing and we raced back to retrieve Rachel. Jenny had some work to do (she's a freelance technical writer) and so she was happy that Rachel kept Ivy occupied (Ivy's brother Liam was at a Scouting meeting). Ivy invited herself over for breakfast on Sunday, and Liam chimed in that he wanted to come, too, so...we'll have waffles and cinnamon tortillas (which Rachel will make) and bacon and orange juice, and I will probably make homemade hot chocolate. Maybe if it's really cold, Drew can build a fire....
It was early enough when we got back so we could have family movie night, so Drew got pizza and we settled in to watch a couple of episodes of "Angelina Ballerina," a British cartoon series about a mouse named Angelina who loves to dance. Then Drew took Rachel up for a bath, she said a teary good night to me (more on that later), Drew went out to grocery shop and I am about to put away my new clothes and go to bed. We are so fortunate to have neighbors who will volunteer to watch Rachel when we really need to go somewhere to get stuff done. And it's astonishing that it has happened so fast in a place where we've only been living since August.
Rachel has been wanting to play with Ivy for the last day or so, and we were all set to go shopping at an outlet mall about an hour away, when Ivy's mom called and asked if Rachel wanted to come over. We ended up taking her over there and Jenny, Ivy's mom, graciously offered to let her stay most of the afternoon while Drew and I raced out to Potomac Mills. It helped that Billy, Jenny's husband, said he loves that mall and has gotten great bargains on clothes, and after we repeatedly asked Jenny if she was SURE she was OK with Rachel being there the whole day, we left. At the mall we bought cookies for all the kids as a thank-you, and then Drew bought jeans and I bought a bunch of things that will serve me well when I fully rejoin the working world. Before we knew it was 6, the mall was closing and we raced back to retrieve Rachel. Jenny had some work to do (she's a freelance technical writer) and so she was happy that Rachel kept Ivy occupied (Ivy's brother Liam was at a Scouting meeting). Ivy invited herself over for breakfast on Sunday, and Liam chimed in that he wanted to come, too, so...we'll have waffles and cinnamon tortillas (which Rachel will make) and bacon and orange juice, and I will probably make homemade hot chocolate. Maybe if it's really cold, Drew can build a fire....
It was early enough when we got back so we could have family movie night, so Drew got pizza and we settled in to watch a couple of episodes of "Angelina Ballerina," a British cartoon series about a mouse named Angelina who loves to dance. Then Drew took Rachel up for a bath, she said a teary good night to me (more on that later), Drew went out to grocery shop and I am about to put away my new clothes and go to bed. We are so fortunate to have neighbors who will volunteer to watch Rachel when we really need to go somewhere to get stuff done. And it's astonishing that it has happened so fast in a place where we've only been living since August.
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Rachel wins over our dinner guests
We had a lovely dinner tonight for two friends of ours, Jeff and Crystal, who are expecting a baby girl in February. Jeff used to work with me at the Oregonian and we reconnected when I moved out here. They had us over for dinner in September and I've been wanting to have them back ever since.
So, tonight was the night. I spent much of the day cleaning the house (also in anticipation of Mom and Dad joining us for Thanksgiving...yay!) and preparing the dinner: roast chicken and potatoes, salad, chocolate silk pie with homemade whipped cream. We got just about everything done that I wanted before they arrived, and Drew even lit a fire -- the first one in our new house! -- to ensure that the fireplace does, indeed, work. We can't wait until Thanksgiving, when it will be COLD and we'll just keep the fire going for most of the day!
Rachel was especially sweet today; she cheerfully helped me with the pie crust (we're getting to the point where I can just give her tasks to do in the preparation of a meal and I know they'll get done), and then she did her homework. When I thanked her for doing her homework, she said cheerfully, "You're welcome! It's MY responsibility." Of course, I smiled hugely at that. Then Drew went out Hanukkah shopping -- Rachel is going to be very happy with her gifts -- and I continued cleaning and prepping while Rachel crashed out on the couch. (Friends of mine with kids in kindergarten warned me that kids are so exhausted at the end of the day because their brains are absorbing so much, that they end up sleeping really soundly). I covered her body with a blanket and just kept cleaning and cooking around her.
Jeff and Crystal came at 6:30 and at first Rachel moped around because she had thought that her friend Ivy would get back in time from running errands for them to have a playdate, but it was not to be. But she was cheerful by dinnertime, and after chatting with our guests she got down on the floor and busied herself with coloring. Turns out she was making a picture for Jeff and Crystal, which turned out to be a depiction of them with a turkey (gobble, gobble! she wrote helpfully) and I could tell they were really touched. Crystal immediately said she'd put it on their refrigerator, and I told Rachel later how proud I was that she was so well-behaved and made our guests feel so welcome. I can tell she's going to be a great hostess someday.
So, tonight was the night. I spent much of the day cleaning the house (also in anticipation of Mom and Dad joining us for Thanksgiving...yay!) and preparing the dinner: roast chicken and potatoes, salad, chocolate silk pie with homemade whipped cream. We got just about everything done that I wanted before they arrived, and Drew even lit a fire -- the first one in our new house! -- to ensure that the fireplace does, indeed, work. We can't wait until Thanksgiving, when it will be COLD and we'll just keep the fire going for most of the day!
Rachel was especially sweet today; she cheerfully helped me with the pie crust (we're getting to the point where I can just give her tasks to do in the preparation of a meal and I know they'll get done), and then she did her homework. When I thanked her for doing her homework, she said cheerfully, "You're welcome! It's MY responsibility." Of course, I smiled hugely at that. Then Drew went out Hanukkah shopping -- Rachel is going to be very happy with her gifts -- and I continued cleaning and prepping while Rachel crashed out on the couch. (Friends of mine with kids in kindergarten warned me that kids are so exhausted at the end of the day because their brains are absorbing so much, that they end up sleeping really soundly). I covered her body with a blanket and just kept cleaning and cooking around her.
Jeff and Crystal came at 6:30 and at first Rachel moped around because she had thought that her friend Ivy would get back in time from running errands for them to have a playdate, but it was not to be. But she was cheerful by dinnertime, and after chatting with our guests she got down on the floor and busied herself with coloring. Turns out she was making a picture for Jeff and Crystal, which turned out to be a depiction of them with a turkey (gobble, gobble! she wrote helpfully) and I could tell they were really touched. Crystal immediately said she'd put it on their refrigerator, and I told Rachel later how proud I was that she was so well-behaved and made our guests feel so welcome. I can tell she's going to be a great hostess someday.
Sunday, November 17, 2013
A restful Shabbat
So, yesterday we were invited to Shabbat lunch by a friend of mine, Andy Boltax, whom I haven't seen for, oh, 25 years or so. He and I worked on the Daily Northwestern together and he was always extremely nice to me; maybe because we're from the same part of the country (he was raised in Connecticut) and he was very disappointed when I decided not to seek the editor-in-chief's position (I was an African Studies minor and I needed to improve my overall GPA, plus I thought the position of off-campus bureau chief was better suited for me).
Andy reached out to be via Facebook. It turns out he has been living in the area since around 1997. He was raised a largely secular Jew and now has become quite religious and keeps strictly kosher. So, no way I could bring over a homemade babka. (sigh). He and his wife are both journalists -- she works on the website of AARP magazine and he owns his own company that advises news organizations on content management -- and they both work. They have four daughters, aged 17 to 10, but only Chana joined us. She's 13 and Rachel immediately took to her and her friend, Sheer, who joined us later in the meal.
It was one of the best kosher meals I have EVER had in my life -- even the cholent, which I have terrible memories of from the Chabad House in Portland -- and I helped myself to just about everything. Even Drew and Rachel found things to eat, although Rachel's portion was mostly the homemade challah, and we had a great time sitting around and catching up on two decades' worth of news. Andy read a d'var Torah portion about the futility of worrying, which was especially timely for me, and we ended up staying for 4 1/2 hours, even though Andy had to leave toward the end for closing prayers. We all agreed we'd had a great time and we had to do it again. I pledged to smoke a brisket for them at their house, as long as they provided the kosher smoker and I supplied the ingredients.
Then we went home and had a decidedly non-kosher evening of pepperoni pizza and cupcakes from our favorite bakery in Shirlington. We watched an Angelina Ballernia series of episodes with Rachel and then Drew and I watched a creepy but great movie called "Side Effects." Awesome day.
Andy reached out to be via Facebook. It turns out he has been living in the area since around 1997. He was raised a largely secular Jew and now has become quite religious and keeps strictly kosher. So, no way I could bring over a homemade babka. (sigh). He and his wife are both journalists -- she works on the website of AARP magazine and he owns his own company that advises news organizations on content management -- and they both work. They have four daughters, aged 17 to 10, but only Chana joined us. She's 13 and Rachel immediately took to her and her friend, Sheer, who joined us later in the meal.
It was one of the best kosher meals I have EVER had in my life -- even the cholent, which I have terrible memories of from the Chabad House in Portland -- and I helped myself to just about everything. Even Drew and Rachel found things to eat, although Rachel's portion was mostly the homemade challah, and we had a great time sitting around and catching up on two decades' worth of news. Andy read a d'var Torah portion about the futility of worrying, which was especially timely for me, and we ended up staying for 4 1/2 hours, even though Andy had to leave toward the end for closing prayers. We all agreed we'd had a great time and we had to do it again. I pledged to smoke a brisket for them at their house, as long as they provided the kosher smoker and I supplied the ingredients.
Then we went home and had a decidedly non-kosher evening of pepperoni pizza and cupcakes from our favorite bakery in Shirlington. We watched an Angelina Ballernia series of episodes with Rachel and then Drew and I watched a creepy but great movie called "Side Effects." Awesome day.
Friday, November 15, 2013
cold! cold! cold!
Yes, winter has definitely arrived here in D.C. It was 40 degrees this morning when Drew and I walked to the EFC Metro station, me in a miniskirt with tights, a jacket, a hat and gloves and I was STILL cold. I had two meetings downtown, though, that required formal dress so there was nothing much I could do. Spent part of the day at the National Portrait Gallery (ahhh....) and had a late lunch after my second meeting, then took the Metro home in barely enough time to change into casual clothes and pick Rachel up from kindergarten.
She threw a fit when the 2nd of her two friends on the block couldn't get together tonight (Lina's nanny was just about feed the kids, and said to come back at 7, and Rachel stamped her foot and said "I want to play NOW!" and I was so appalled that I said our goodbyes quickly and left). I was so exasperated when we got home that I told Rachel we wouldn't be going over there, even though I really wanted to talk to Lina's mom, Carol, and Rachel cried and pinky promised not to throw a fit again. Carol called after the kids had eaten and told us we could come over, but I explained the situation and said Rachel has to learn not to throw a temper tantrum when she doesn't get her way.
Of course, Rachel being Rachel, she then went sobbing up to her room and brought down two of her jewelry boxes with jewelry in them, trying to give them to me as a way of apologizing. I took her into my lap and we cuddled while I told her she really can't behave that way, and pretty soon she perked up and washed her hands, set the table, wrote in her journal and then we did some scrapbooking (I bought her a Hello Kitty scrapbook when we went to Target yesterday) before Drew came home. We had Scotch broth, challah and salad for dinner as soon as he walked in the door.
She threw a fit when the 2nd of her two friends on the block couldn't get together tonight (Lina's nanny was just about feed the kids, and said to come back at 7, and Rachel stamped her foot and said "I want to play NOW!" and I was so appalled that I said our goodbyes quickly and left). I was so exasperated when we got home that I told Rachel we wouldn't be going over there, even though I really wanted to talk to Lina's mom, Carol, and Rachel cried and pinky promised not to throw a fit again. Carol called after the kids had eaten and told us we could come over, but I explained the situation and said Rachel has to learn not to throw a temper tantrum when she doesn't get her way.
Of course, Rachel being Rachel, she then went sobbing up to her room and brought down two of her jewelry boxes with jewelry in them, trying to give them to me as a way of apologizing. I took her into my lap and we cuddled while I told her she really can't behave that way, and pretty soon she perked up and washed her hands, set the table, wrote in her journal and then we did some scrapbooking (I bought her a Hello Kitty scrapbook when we went to Target yesterday) before Drew came home. We had Scotch broth, challah and salad for dinner as soon as he walked in the door.
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