Halloween!!

..seems to come early around these parts. On Friday, my college roommate Charon, who lives in Alexandria, invited us to a Halloween party at her country club. Face painting for the kids, lots of kids in costume, a haunted house (that terrified poor Rachel, who begged Charon to carry her through but when Charon wouldn't, Rachel just braved it and started crying at the end, and she was right, I went through it and it was SCARY) and free dinner. Charon's 7 year old son, Cameron, dressed up as a king. Charon ordered a princess costume through the Internet, and because she has the most fantastic willowy figure she really looked like one. Her husband, Wes, had a Napoleon-ish costume with a hat that looked like it was a British cap from the 18th century.

Charon called us that morning to invite us, hinting that she had a "special" costume for me. Rachel was going to wear a costume Drew brought for her of the Disney character Ariel, but she decided it was too itchy. Which made Drew furious that he'd spent the money for it, but Rachel didn't get a chance to try it on beforehand (the costume shop was out of her size so Drew just bought a packaged dress) and so I can't really blame her for finding it itchy. I ended up spending a few hours sewing ribbon into the sleeves so it wouldn't itch so much, and then decided to sew a strip of cloth into the waist (which I will actually get to do when Drew and I aren't consumed with the little home repair projects we have to do because the owners from whom we're renting clearly did not understand how to take care of their house. Or they didn't give a damn. Regardless, our days and weekends are being eaten up by fixing stuff that they didn't get to, or did badly, and as Drew noted -- it isn't even our house!!!)

Anyway, the costume Charon had for me was that of a bar wench. It was her costume from last year and amazingly it fit. I showed a whole lot of cleavage and it was quite, um, form-fitting, but Drew pronounced me quite fetching. We decided his costume (he wore khakis, a polo shirt and sweater) made him a Silicone Valley billionaire who could actually afford to hire a bar wench.

The event was lovely but went on a little long -- poor Rachel didn't get to bed until around 11 or so -- but she had so much fun making friends and running around with Cameron and his buddies. Charon said something so nice, that there's "something special" about Rachel, "something about her," and another woman commented on how she just jumped right into the activities with the other kids. At several points during the night we literally lost track of her, she was so busy making friends.

I'll continue this tomorrow because it's late and I need to get to bed!

What every mom wants to hear

Scene: Rachel's bedroom. After weeks of fretting about the disastrous state of Rachel's bedroom -- and anticipating David and Anne's visit this coming weekend -- I was determined to clear away all of her old clothes, toys she didn't want anymore, etc. So we spent the last two days cleaning out her bins, her bookshelves, her closet and dresser drawers. We found a pair of sneakers I thought she'd lost and she got rid of a lot of her My Little Pony characters, which I never thought she'd do. "There's so much SPACE!" she said after we'd finished (I never throw away her toys without consulting her first) and I seized on that remark as multiple opportunities to say, "See? Doesn't it feel great to get rid of old stuff?"

The reality is, she has so few toys left that she really deserves a few replacements, which I think I may get her the next time we go to Target. At the very least, I think we'll head to a craft store in the next few weekends so I can get her a proper art bin and lots of stuff that she can I can do together ("a craft club!" she said excitedly) and things she can do with her friend Ivy, who comes over a lot and there's not a whole lot for them to do except draw on sheets of paper.

Anyway, while I was deep in her closet digging out her old stuff, she suddenly said, "You were right, Mommy. About moving."
I gave her a puzzled look.
"I DID make friends!" she said happily. "I HAVE new friends."
I couldn't help myself, I started tearing up.
"Why are you crying?" she exclaimed.
"Because there's nothing that mommies like better than to be told we're right about something," I answered.

***

I was expressing some frustration over something totally minor, so much so that I've forgotten what it was, when Rachel sat down beside me (I believe I was trying to pull a recalcitrant bowl out from one of our bottom cabinets) and said,

"It's OK, Mommy. Rachel's here, Rachel loves you, it's all fine."

Once again...who's the adult and who's the kid around here? She's an Oregon child....

A visit to a farm

In between filling out online job applications and scheduling information interviews, I've been trying to volunteer at Rachel's school as much as possible, since the day will come when I won't have time to do that because I'll be working full-time.

So I volunteered to chaperone a bunch of her classmates to a farm this morning. The weather was pretty unpromising -- cloudy and rain had fallen overnight, everything felt damp -- but by the time we got to Frying Park Farm, everything was clear and brilliantly sunny and crisp.

I had signed up for a virtual "career fair" sponsored by the Council for the Advancement and Support of Education that started at noon, so I could only stay for two events -- the talk about cows (Rachel got to "milk" a cow, which was a wooden cutout of a cow with water in her udders instead of milk) and a scavenger hunt to find as many animals as we could within the allotted half-hour. I was responsible for Rachel and her buddy, Matthew, who turned out to be an incredibly nice kid. We actually had a lot of fun running around and seeing all the animals including an adorable newly born calf whose legs were still wobbly, and some piglets. Rachel really got into everything, she is so enthusiastic!

She sobbed and had a little temper tantrum when I had to leave, though, and I felt horribly guilty for the first few minutes...until one of her classmate's moms, Kelly, thoughtfully texted me a picture of Rachel hugging her classmate, Libby. "Rachel is doing great!" Kelly said. I was beyond grateful; it was such a nice gesture and made me feel less guilty for leaving.

Cute things Rachel has said these last few days

Rachel has a new way of bidding me goodnight. First she tries to sneak up on me, and sometimes I pretend to be scared and sometimes I don't. Tonight I didn't, and her reaction was: "Drats!" Then she went through her usual routine:

"Kiss." And she gives me a kiss.
"Hug." And she gives me a hug.

And then: "I love you, good night, and NO bad dreams."

I reciprocate, of course. Funny thing about the dreams is that I've had some really weird/scary ones over the last two weeks. No idea why.

***

The brisket was a roaring success. Time-consuming but oh, so worth it. Drew kept telling me how good it was and thanked me profusely for all the hard work I put into it. (He also suggested I auction off a homemade smoked brisket for McKinley's PTA auction in April, which I thought was a terrific idea and I just may end up doing it).

Rachel commented on how great the house smelled this morning (I had put the brisket in the oven at 200 degrees after smoking it, so it cooked low and slow while we slept). She helped me make cornbread tonight -- she is getting to be a champ at cracking eggs, a skill I did not pick up in life until much later, right, Mom? -- and so we had hot cornbread and brisket for dinner.

The moment Rachel tried the brisket she said, "Mmm! Tender as PIE!" And then she demolished the meat on her plate.

I just may have to keep her 5 forever.

Family day

Today we spent lunch and part of the afternoon with Uncle Dan and Aunt Beryle, who live in Rockville, MD, about a 20-minute drive from us. It feels odd to think that they're Rachel's great-aunt and great-uncle; I'm so used to thinking of them as MY aunt and uncle.

We had a great time talking about all kinds of things, including the gay marriage of two residents who live in the same building they live in. The men had been together for 55 years, and they finally made it official because Maryland recognizes gay marriage. Apparently they had a private ceremony and then a party for the entire group of people who live in the apartment building.

Rachel was very well-behaved during the visit; she actually ate some lunch (rare for her on weekends) and looked at some picture books and read some books with Drew while Dan and Beryle tried to show me an alternate "back route" to NYC during Thanksgiving. I think I've got it down, but I may want to check back with them before we go.

Then we did our grocery shopping at Safeway near their house and ran into...our neighbor! Actually, it was Luz, our neighbor's nanny, who was visiting a friend of hers who lives in Chevy Chase. Rachel gave her a big hug. We got home in time for me to put away the food and start dinner for us and for Ivy, Liam and their mom, Jenny, who we invited over for spaghetti with basil and cherry tomatoes -- a mercifully easy dinner to make. For dessert we had the babka Daniella brought to us last weekend from a Hungarian bakery in NYC. Thanks, Tia Daniella! It's delicious.

And then I got out a brisket I bought last week, made some rub for it and put it in the refrigerator. I'm going to smoke it tomorrow night and then finish it off in the oven overnight. Yeah, it's a hassle, but Rachel has been asking for Mommy's smoked brisket so who am I to refuse???

Our first birthday party in Arlington!

Rachel got invited to the 6th birthday party of a boy in her class named Andrew. Andrew has a twin brother, Blake, so the party was really for both of them. It was at a Masonic lodge, of all places, in a lovely part of Falls Church.

Rachel had a terrific time, as usual. There was a bouncy house outside, and one of the moms I struck up a conversation with was very complimentary. "There were all these boys in the bouncy house, but that didn't bother Rachel!" she exclaimed. "She just dove right in!"

The kids decorated Halloween masks and pumpkins and there was quite a nice spread of food, enough for me to feel sated and enough for Rachel to turn up her nose at and insist on just crackers and goldfish. I let her eat one piece of candy and part of a piece of cake. I believe she burned it all off in the bouncy house, where she spent most of the party.

One of the gratifying things I noticed Rachel doing was whenever one of the kids in the bouncy house got hurt (one nice kid, Trip, got kicked in the head by mistake, ouch!) she sat with them until they felt better. When Andrew was hurt and went to the side and rested, she gently stroked his head and asked him if he was OK. I swear, she'd make a great big sister. Or a nurse. Or a doctor.

After the party we dropped off some library books, ran an errand or two and got home just in time for Ivy to come over for Family Fun Night. I reheated some pizza, and just about the time it was ready, Drew showed up early from the conference in Atlanta he went to late last week. Rachel and Ivy were pretending they were rock stars -- complete with the icky makeup Ivy put on both of them, kids' makeup that made both look like hollowed-out Goth kids, and yes, Dad, I'm remembering how Maria Tetens and I put on blue eyeshadow and you called us "blue eyed monsters" for YEARS after that -- and singing at the top of their voices. Rachel kept sing/yelling "Reach for the STARS!" while holding a Styrofoam ice cream cone she pretended was a microphone. Later she waggled her hips and strutted around in a way that made me nervous. She's not supposed to know how to do that!!!

***

I'm having a tough time getting around Arlington because the roads do NOT make sense, the traffic lights aren't synchronized AT ALL, and there are a lot of people here. So I was very frustrated when my GPS refused to recognize the address of the party. Luckily I found an online map of the place and by the time I reached the main drag into Falls Church, I felt confident enough to say we were fine.


"You still have to get home," Rachel reminded me.
"That'll be easy," I said confidently.
"You don't KNOW it'll be easy," she replied. "You can't see into the future, like Dionysus!"

Rachel tells Mommy a story that she swears she made up all by herself

As told to me two nights ago, pointing to the "book" she had made as part of some project before we moved, I can't remember:

"Once upon a time there was a girl named Sabrina. She LOVED birds.

"This is called 'The Girl Who Loved Birds.' By me, Rachel," she said.

"One day she saw a beautiful scarlet red bird. She heard it chirping and chirping. She said very kindly, "Please stop, bird, I don't like that.' But the bird STILL wouldn't stop chirping. So, she counted. One, two, three. four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. But the bird STILL wouldn't STOP chirping. Here's a picture of it."

(She showed me a picture she had drawn. The book she was showing me was actually a book of her drawings).

"So Sabrina tried to scare it away. She said, 'urgh, argh." The bird stopped chirping very quickly and then flew away. She stood there thinking in the beautiful bright starlight. The sky started to turn pink. It was sundown. As her beautiful black hair blew in the waving wind, she thought puzzledly when and how the bird would come back.

That night with her little Teddy bear under a warm comfy orange blanket in a wood bed, she thought how the bird would come back and when the bird would come back. She snuggled closely with her bear."

("Got that part, Mommy?" she asked, noting that I was taking notes).

"That morning, she woke up with a brilliant idea," Rachel continued. "She dropped her bunny and hurried out of her bed, even leaving the bed with the orange blanket scattered around it, and ran out of the room. She ran to the window and wanted to check if the bird was there. It wasn't. So she got her shoes on and ran outside into the blowing, sweet breeze. She didn't even see the bird there. She KNEW it must have been happy.

The end."

Then Rachel added this: "She went back inside, woke up her mom and dad, had a yummy breakfast, and ran outside again and played and ran and did all kinds of stuff. When she was a grownup she still thought about it and wrote about it, which is this book, called "The Girl Who Loves Birds."

And here is the last section of the book: "In 2013, Sabrina was a India girl. She was brought to America this very day. She made a bird book for her children Anne and Matthew and I heard of it and decided to make one of my own."