Today was the third time Rachel has invited me to have lunch with her at school. She asks two of her little friends to sit with us (usually Libby and Adelaide), and we all talk. Today I ended up moderating a version of "Rock, paper, scissors" between Rachel and Adelaide, and then as Rachel stood up to head back to class she said, "Tonight we can discuss the next time you'll meet me for lunch." As a friend of mine who's a reporter in D.C. says: "That kid cracks me up! Next thing you know, she'll have a press secretary handle you."
Tonight at dinner Drew said to Rachel, "I love you, funny girl!"
Her reply: "I love you, silly Daddy!"
It seems the bullying is dying down a little?? Rachel said she ate her snacks so fast today that when the mean boys asked her if she had any, she said she'd finished them. And then, she told us, they tried to scare her by saying, "BOO!" except that she did the same thing to them and, according to Rachel, scared the daylights out of them. We'll see...
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Monday, March 17, 2014
Snow. Again. Agghh...
PopPop and Mammaw, I know you keep telling us that all this snow we're getting is really not normal, but I'm beginning to doubt it.:) Today is the NINTH -- the NINTH -- day of school Rachel has missed since the start of the school year. It was also the day of our rescheduled parent-teacher conference because we missed the last one because of...wait for it...SNOW.
Pew Research opened two hours late, but that still left me with Rachel all day. Luckily I had handed in the last of my stories so I really didn't need to work. I kept asking her if she wanted to go out and build a snowman, but she just wanted to watch Barbie movies. So, we did -- three in a row. Epic Mommy fail, but I'm usually so busy freelancing that I don't feel like I do a very good job of being in the moment with Rachel, and I decided to let her do whatever she wanted. (To her credit, Drew gave her some pages to do in a math workbook he got her, and she is already adding double rows of numbers and mastering subtraction). I also have to say that I was secretly thrilled when Ivy's mom texted me and asked if Rachel wanted to play, and Rachel said to me, "No, I want to play with YOU all day, Mommy."
So, we watched Barbie movies, and played Go Fish and Mancala, and I made her a very late lunch and still managed to get a beef stew in the oven that we had for dinner tonight and Drew loved, so, in terms of productivity, I did manage to get a few things accomplished.
Pew Research opened two hours late, but that still left me with Rachel all day. Luckily I had handed in the last of my stories so I really didn't need to work. I kept asking her if she wanted to go out and build a snowman, but she just wanted to watch Barbie movies. So, we did -- three in a row. Epic Mommy fail, but I'm usually so busy freelancing that I don't feel like I do a very good job of being in the moment with Rachel, and I decided to let her do whatever she wanted. (To her credit, Drew gave her some pages to do in a math workbook he got her, and she is already adding double rows of numbers and mastering subtraction). I also have to say that I was secretly thrilled when Ivy's mom texted me and asked if Rachel wanted to play, and Rachel said to me, "No, I want to play with YOU all day, Mommy."
So, we watched Barbie movies, and played Go Fish and Mancala, and I made her a very late lunch and still managed to get a beef stew in the oven that we had for dinner tonight and Drew loved, so, in terms of productivity, I did manage to get a few things accomplished.
Purim!
Yesterday, Sunday, we took Rachel to a Purim carnival at the Reform synagogue near our house. That's when we realized what a huge deal Rodef Shalom is -- there were dozens and dozens and dozens of kids and dozens and dozens and dozens of games (plus hamentaschen that, frankly, could have a used a little more oomph in the taste department). Rachel won a couple of little trinkets for the kid games but got very upset when she didn't win a big one -- it was a version of musical chairs where you danced around in a circle and when the music stopped, you stopped on a number on the floor and if the number was chosen out of a bag, you got to choose a cake, a series of cupcakes or a box of doughnuts to take home. Rachel didn't win and she started crying and crying -- sometime we don't always realize she's still little.
Afterward we headed home and Rachel and I worked on cleaning out her room. I had woken up very early that morning, worried sick about her inability to swim and the fact that she isn't making any progress in swim lessons, and I had come downstairs to research possibilities for classes (Drew forgot to sign her up for gymnastics and swimming again, so now it's my problem. Sigh). As long as I was in the office I went ahead and wrote up a story I was assigned to write for an alumni magazine. The result: After the carnival I was exhausted, and Drew insisted that I take a nap. So I did, and after three hours of bizarro dreams, I awoke to Drew and Rachel coming home from grocery shopping. I made lamb and rice pilaf while Drew raced out to get more food (it's a problem with us, we need to go to three different grocery stores just to get the fairly simple stuff we need). Drew put Rachel to bed, I relaxed on the couch with the newspaper, and we settled in for a long night of SNOW.
Afterward we headed home and Rachel and I worked on cleaning out her room. I had woken up very early that morning, worried sick about her inability to swim and the fact that she isn't making any progress in swim lessons, and I had come downstairs to research possibilities for classes (Drew forgot to sign her up for gymnastics and swimming again, so now it's my problem. Sigh). As long as I was in the office I went ahead and wrote up a story I was assigned to write for an alumni magazine. The result: After the carnival I was exhausted, and Drew insisted that I take a nap. So I did, and after three hours of bizarro dreams, I awoke to Drew and Rachel coming home from grocery shopping. I made lamb and rice pilaf while Drew raced out to get more food (it's a problem with us, we need to go to three different grocery stores just to get the fairly simple stuff we need). Drew put Rachel to bed, I relaxed on the couch with the newspaper, and we settled in for a long night of SNOW.
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Bullying, Part 2
Well, apparently the bullying has turned physical. Last night Rachel told us that the two 5th grade boys asked her for her snacks. She said no, and they punched her in the face and took the snacks anyway. The said the person in charge of after care gave her some ice and told the boys to leave Rachel alone.
I spent last night angry and upset and ready to cry, and Drew was absolutely furious. (At first Rachel told us the after-care people hadn't done anything, but it turned out they had). Nevertheless, Drew is going to have a talk with them on Monday (we're both scheduled to have a parent teacher conference with Rachel's teacher, which already has been cancelled twice because of weather, and we're expecting snow on Monday, and if it gets cancelled again I'm going to resign myself to not knowing anything about how my daughter's doing in school until, oh, July). And he's going to get the names of those punk-ass kids and call their parents, and I feel sorry for The Wrath of Drew that will fall upon them when he orders them to keep their crappy little shits away from our daughter.
(Sorry, I'm a little emotional about this).
Anyway...another thing I did last night was check out a synagogue that is a five-minute drive from our house. It's huge -- 1,500 families and 900 kids in religious school, apparently the largest religious school in the country. Rachel can start going to religious school on Sunday mornings, which we are seriously considering because when we mentioned it at dinner this week, she said, "Yay! Hebrew school! Yay! Hebrew school!" and I, for one, would really like to meet some Jewish families around here. We are going to a Purim carnival there tomorrow. Before I make a decision, though, I want to check out some other synagogues -- there's one in Fairfax and one in Alexandria. We will join one as soon as I get full- or part-time (steady) work, which, fingers crossed, will be sooner rather than later.
I spent last night angry and upset and ready to cry, and Drew was absolutely furious. (At first Rachel told us the after-care people hadn't done anything, but it turned out they had). Nevertheless, Drew is going to have a talk with them on Monday (we're both scheduled to have a parent teacher conference with Rachel's teacher, which already has been cancelled twice because of weather, and we're expecting snow on Monday, and if it gets cancelled again I'm going to resign myself to not knowing anything about how my daughter's doing in school until, oh, July). And he's going to get the names of those punk-ass kids and call their parents, and I feel sorry for The Wrath of Drew that will fall upon them when he orders them to keep their crappy little shits away from our daughter.
(Sorry, I'm a little emotional about this).
Anyway...another thing I did last night was check out a synagogue that is a five-minute drive from our house. It's huge -- 1,500 families and 900 kids in religious school, apparently the largest religious school in the country. Rachel can start going to religious school on Sunday mornings, which we are seriously considering because when we mentioned it at dinner this week, she said, "Yay! Hebrew school! Yay! Hebrew school!" and I, for one, would really like to meet some Jewish families around here. We are going to a Purim carnival there tomorrow. Before I make a decision, though, I want to check out some other synagogues -- there's one in Fairfax and one in Alexandria. We will join one as soon as I get full- or part-time (steady) work, which, fingers crossed, will be sooner rather than later.
St. Patrick's Day
So, we had a pretty busy day today. Rachel had tee ball practice in the morning, her second practice so far, and LOVED IT. "I love tee-ball! I love tee-ball! I can't stop saying that I love tee-ball!" she exclaimed in the car on the way to gymnastics. "Does that annoy you?" she asked anxiously.
"Of course not, sweetie," I said. She then told me that, like yesterday, some of the boys in tee-ball were a bit clueless as to whether they should stay on base, or run. Rachel and her friend Libby are the only girls in tee-ball, and they, of course, were exemplary players.
The more I realize what girls are capable of, the more I wonder why boys end up running things.
It was at gymnastics that I realized that we missed the start of spring sign-up, and so of course the gymnastics and swimming offerings are all closed. I told Drew we need to get Rachel in private swim lessons anyway, since she is making virtually no progress in group lessons and I am determined to have her comfortable in the water by this summer, so that when we visit PopPop and Mammaw and use the pool at Grandma and Grandpa's place, she'll have a reasonable shot at not drowning.
Drew got home from running errands and then we all piled on the Metro to head to the National Zoo, because it was such a nice day (upper 60s), sunny and we are expected to get SNOW again on Monday and Tuesday (insert multiple expletives here). Parking at the Metro station is free, so it was a pleasant ride in, and then we wandered around the zoo for a while. We saw a cheetah asleep in the sun, an elephant or two and an oryx. Most of the indoor exhibits closed at 4:30, so we saw mostly birds at the end, but they ROCKED. Multiple flamingoes, whooping cranes, screeching birds -- it was really awesome and Rachel said, "this is the best family outing EVER!"
(I had insisted on taking a family outing because I'd spent the last two weekends working and I was determined not to repeat that this weekend!).
Afterward on the way to the Metro station we stopped at a little French/Italian restaurant that was absolutely charming. Rachel ordered pizza, Drew ordered mushroom-filled ravioli, and I had a bunch of appetizers -- French onion soup, arugula salad and mussels. We all split a crepe and dark chocolate mousse for dessert (YUM) and then got on the Metro to head back home.
It was St. Patrick's Day, of course, so on our way home we were treated to a bunch of loutish overgrown former frat boys and their dates. The boys tried to climb on the railings that people hold onto when the train is crowded and they have to stand. The rest of the time they kept up a steady stream of cursing and exclaiming out loud how drunk they were. Luckily they weren't mean drunks, just good-natured, and Rachel kept giggling at how ridiculous they were (at one point they started speaking drunk-laced Spanish). I kept laughing because Drew and I were so not like that when we were in our 20s. In fact, we joked with Rachel that we'd put her to bed and then we'd got out to a bar and drink beer and Irish coffee.
"That's not going to happen," she said calmly. "First, Mommy doesn't like coffee. Second, it's against the law for you to leave me alone."
Well, yes. Just when we couldn't stand it anymore, we reached the East Falls Church Metro station and got off, to a bunch of loud girls yelling. Drew announced that it was the most obnoxious train ride he's ever been on, including the years he's lived in Chicago, and I had to agree, although I was proud of him for not starting a fight. And, hey, it was good for Rachel's education. We both secured multiple promises from her that she would NEVER act that way when she grows up.
"Of course not, sweetie," I said. She then told me that, like yesterday, some of the boys in tee-ball were a bit clueless as to whether they should stay on base, or run. Rachel and her friend Libby are the only girls in tee-ball, and they, of course, were exemplary players.
The more I realize what girls are capable of, the more I wonder why boys end up running things.
It was at gymnastics that I realized that we missed the start of spring sign-up, and so of course the gymnastics and swimming offerings are all closed. I told Drew we need to get Rachel in private swim lessons anyway, since she is making virtually no progress in group lessons and I am determined to have her comfortable in the water by this summer, so that when we visit PopPop and Mammaw and use the pool at Grandma and Grandpa's place, she'll have a reasonable shot at not drowning.
Drew got home from running errands and then we all piled on the Metro to head to the National Zoo, because it was such a nice day (upper 60s), sunny and we are expected to get SNOW again on Monday and Tuesday (insert multiple expletives here). Parking at the Metro station is free, so it was a pleasant ride in, and then we wandered around the zoo for a while. We saw a cheetah asleep in the sun, an elephant or two and an oryx. Most of the indoor exhibits closed at 4:30, so we saw mostly birds at the end, but they ROCKED. Multiple flamingoes, whooping cranes, screeching birds -- it was really awesome and Rachel said, "this is the best family outing EVER!"
(I had insisted on taking a family outing because I'd spent the last two weekends working and I was determined not to repeat that this weekend!).
Afterward on the way to the Metro station we stopped at a little French/Italian restaurant that was absolutely charming. Rachel ordered pizza, Drew ordered mushroom-filled ravioli, and I had a bunch of appetizers -- French onion soup, arugula salad and mussels. We all split a crepe and dark chocolate mousse for dessert (YUM) and then got on the Metro to head back home.
It was St. Patrick's Day, of course, so on our way home we were treated to a bunch of loutish overgrown former frat boys and their dates. The boys tried to climb on the railings that people hold onto when the train is crowded and they have to stand. The rest of the time they kept up a steady stream of cursing and exclaiming out loud how drunk they were. Luckily they weren't mean drunks, just good-natured, and Rachel kept giggling at how ridiculous they were (at one point they started speaking drunk-laced Spanish). I kept laughing because Drew and I were so not like that when we were in our 20s. In fact, we joked with Rachel that we'd put her to bed and then we'd got out to a bar and drink beer and Irish coffee.
"That's not going to happen," she said calmly. "First, Mommy doesn't like coffee. Second, it's against the law for you to leave me alone."
Well, yes. Just when we couldn't stand it anymore, we reached the East Falls Church Metro station and got off, to a bunch of loud girls yelling. Drew announced that it was the most obnoxious train ride he's ever been on, including the years he's lived in Chicago, and I had to agree, although I was proud of him for not starting a fight. And, hey, it was good for Rachel's education. We both secured multiple promises from her that she would NEVER act that way when she grows up.
Thursday, March 13, 2014
What Rachel does after Drew puts her to bed
Tonight after Drew told me about how Rachel was worried about the wrath of the universe coming down on the two bullying boys, I was inspired to go upstairs and give her a big hug and kiss.
When I opened the door, her night light was on (it's across the room from her bed) and she was SITTING UP IN BED, READING.
"RACHEL!" I exclaimed.
"I like to read because it helps me get to sleep," she explained. "Reading is my favorite thing to do. When we have our choice of stations, I always head for the books."
"Reading is my favorite thing to do, too, sweetie!" I exclaimed. I made her promise twice not to stay up too late, then I gave her a big hug and kiss and she seemed very happy I'd come all the way upstairs to do so.
As I closed the door and went downstairs, I thought: Wow. She really reminds me of myself when I was a kid.
***
Drew also told me that Rachel has begun doing the following after he reads from the current book they're reading together at night: If there's time, they cuddle. Afterward, she has started asking Drew to give her MATH PROBLEMS. Addition AND subtraction: What's 19 plus 7? Or 22 take away 3? She can usually figure them out, Drew says.
He says she has this weird system that he assumes they're teaching her at school -- 8 is a set of 5, plus 3 extra, and that helps her do the math without using her fingers. Last night she also wanted him to give her "questions" -- fill in the blank knowledge questions. He gives her fill in the blank knowledge questions about science: What are steam and ice both made out of? Things like that.
Looks like the science, math, art and reading parts of her brain are all developing nicely. Now we just have to work on sports and music....
When I opened the door, her night light was on (it's across the room from her bed) and she was SITTING UP IN BED, READING.
"RACHEL!" I exclaimed.
"I like to read because it helps me get to sleep," she explained. "Reading is my favorite thing to do. When we have our choice of stations, I always head for the books."
"Reading is my favorite thing to do, too, sweetie!" I exclaimed. I made her promise twice not to stay up too late, then I gave her a big hug and kiss and she seemed very happy I'd come all the way upstairs to do so.
As I closed the door and went downstairs, I thought: Wow. She really reminds me of myself when I was a kid.
***
Drew also told me that Rachel has begun doing the following after he reads from the current book they're reading together at night: If there's time, they cuddle. Afterward, she has started asking Drew to give her MATH PROBLEMS. Addition AND subtraction: What's 19 plus 7? Or 22 take away 3? She can usually figure them out, Drew says.
He says she has this weird system that he assumes they're teaching her at school -- 8 is a set of 5, plus 3 extra, and that helps her do the math without using her fingers. Last night she also wanted him to give her "questions" -- fill in the blank knowledge questions. He gives her fill in the blank knowledge questions about science: What are steam and ice both made out of? Things like that.
Looks like the science, math, art and reading parts of her brain are all developing nicely. Now we just have to work on sports and music....
Bullying
It seems that some bigger kids have begun bullying Rachel, although I'm not quite sure of what's going on. Tonight at dinner she told us that two 5th-grade boys approached her at after-care today and they told her if she doesn't bring snacks for them tomorrow, "there'll be trouble." She said she had given them some of her snack (extra snack that Drew had packed for her because she's growing so fast and needs more food) but it apparently wasn't enough.
Drew got very very angry at this -- both he and I were bullied as kids -- and he told her to report it to the staff members. Rachel said the head of the aftercare staff would call it "kid-sized problems," and that made Drew even angrier. He threatened to talk to the kids' parents, and if they STILL wouldn't stop bothered Rachel, he'd knock the kids' skulls together.
"I don't think that's a good idea," Rachel said calmly, and I told him to dial it down.
When he was putting her to bed, Rachel got a concerned look on her face.
"What's the matter, sweetie?" Drew asked.
"I'm worried about the bullies," she replied.
"Don't worry, Mommy and Daddy will take care of them," he said.
"Well, what can you do?" Rachel asked.
"Well, there's a lot we can do," Drew explained. "We can talk to the staff, we can talk to their parents. If I have to, I'll talk to them myself."
Rachel got a worried look on her face.
"What's the matter?" Drew asked again.
"I'm worried that you'll do too much to them, because kindness is always better," Rachel said.
"What do you mean, kindness is always better?" Drew said.
"Maybe they had a lot going on in their lives, like they have to do a lot of chores, or they're always in trouble or something," she said, "and I've had a very convenient life so far."
Drew was flabbergasted. Finally he said: "That all may be true, but even if they've had a lot of trouble in their life, it doesn't mean that they get to cause trouble in YOUR life.
"It's a lot to think about for a little girl, but we'll get it all sorted out," he said.
Drew got very very angry at this -- both he and I were bullied as kids -- and he told her to report it to the staff members. Rachel said the head of the aftercare staff would call it "kid-sized problems," and that made Drew even angrier. He threatened to talk to the kids' parents, and if they STILL wouldn't stop bothered Rachel, he'd knock the kids' skulls together.
"I don't think that's a good idea," Rachel said calmly, and I told him to dial it down.
When he was putting her to bed, Rachel got a concerned look on her face.
"What's the matter, sweetie?" Drew asked.
"I'm worried about the bullies," she replied.
"Don't worry, Mommy and Daddy will take care of them," he said.
"Well, what can you do?" Rachel asked.
"Well, there's a lot we can do," Drew explained. "We can talk to the staff, we can talk to their parents. If I have to, I'll talk to them myself."
Rachel got a worried look on her face.
"What's the matter?" Drew asked again.
"I'm worried that you'll do too much to them, because kindness is always better," Rachel said.
"What do you mean, kindness is always better?" Drew said.
"Maybe they had a lot going on in their lives, like they have to do a lot of chores, or they're always in trouble or something," she said, "and I've had a very convenient life so far."
Drew was flabbergasted. Finally he said: "That all may be true, but even if they've had a lot of trouble in their life, it doesn't mean that they get to cause trouble in YOUR life.
"It's a lot to think about for a little girl, but we'll get it all sorted out," he said.
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