Last night of Hanukkah

I was actually somewhat sad to bid farewell tonight to Hanukkah, even though I've had way too many latkes (6 out of 8 nights) and making sufganyiot is time-consuming and I feel that all I've been doing the last few days is eating food I shouldn't (although this was slightly mitigated by skipping breakfast this morning because I wasn't hungry and am coming down with a cold, I think, and I had a dentist's appointment anyway...plus I swam tonight so that gives me an excuse to eat well).

Anyway....

Tonight after swimming I got home and was pleasantly surprised to see that Drew had set the table, peeled the potatoes and gotten out the brisket that had been left over from my catering gig last month (which now seems like a million years ago), so all I had to do was chop an onion, cut the potatoes (with Rachel's help; she plopped them into the blender), and blend everything together. Rachel is still a little afraid of the blender's loud noise, so Drew gave her a set of headphones and she looked like a little sound engineer. I fried up the latkes and when I was done Rachel hugged my legs and said, "Thank you for making latkees, Mommy!" I hugged her back and we had a nice dinner, with Rachel whining a little about how she was worried we wouldn't have time to open presents because it was taking so long for us to eat (she refused to try the brisket, which was GREAT, and ate a couple of bites of a latke and LOTS of applesauce). I feel compelled to say here that the container of applesauce Drew bought for Hanukkah lasted exactly eight nights. Call that our little 21st Century version of a Hanukkah miracle.

Rachel impressed us with her near-perfect rendition of the prayer over the Hanukkah candles. Really, in a few months, she'll be able to say the Sabbath prayer all by herself!

She also asked me, "What did you do at work today, Mommy? I really want to know."

We finished opening presents -- thank you Tia Daniella and Valerie and JoJo for the tea set, which Rachel instantly adored, and the Frances book, which she made both of us read twice. She also got some old cake pans from my friend Miriam, whose daughter played with them she was little (that daughter is now studying for a master's in social work). Rachel's gift to us was a little Christmas tree she made at school, which we placed on the living-room mantel (Drew noted with pride that the kids at preschool also made mini-menorahs; he was grateful that both Jews and Christians have a place at St. James). We also thank Amanda and Jenn for the artists' brushes and paper for Rachel's multi-tasking easel, and Richard for the Twin Peaks anniversary set, and Mom and Dad for the truffles and Hanukkah Haiku book, and Jack and Kay for the beautiful vase...happy Hanukkah, everyone!

Cute Rachel saying today: As we were cuddling in bed this morning, I remarked that she had beautiful blue eyes.

"Your eyes are the color of the earth!" she said. Looks like we may have a budding poet in our house..

Hanukkah party!

We had a great time this afternoon/evening at a Hanukkah party at the house of Rachel's friend Lila Anne. One of these days I'll get around to posting pictures. I brought homemade sufganyiot and, boy, were they a big hit! I had to cut some corners on timing of the dough to rise, but I actually followed directions and pinched the edges of the dough together, so the jelly stayed inside. People were anticipating them and when they tasted them they kept asking me questions about if I REALLY made them from scratch, how I did it, how much better homemade donuts are than real ones (I have to disagree on that last point, though). The sufganyiot I make taste like beignets, especially since I douse them in enough powdered sugar to provide snow for an entire showing of "Nutcracker."

It was a fun time, even if one of the little girls at the party asked me if I was Rachel's grandma. OUCH!

Anyway...the girls had fun running around and shrieking. There were some boys there, too, but they were a little older and clearly outnumbered. At one point Drew emerged from Lila's bedroom to announce that the room was dark, Lila and Rachel were in Lila's old crib, and they were heading to China. To do what? Who knows??

When we got home Rachel opened her present from PopPop -- the movie "Beauty and the Beast." She was so excited that she insisted on racing upstairs, where I was working, to show me. "WOW!" she said. "I can take it to school for MOVIE DAY!" I told her it was a great movie; Drew and I had seen it years ago before we even thought of having kids.

And PopPop, you will appreciate this: As she was getting ready to go to bed, Rachel walked over to your picture on the bookcase and said, "Thank you for the movie, PopPop!" and gave you a little kiss.

Quiet day

I woke up this morning completely wacked out and groggy from the pain meds I took last night. I slept until 9:30 (Rachel woke us up at 8:30 but Drew told her to be quiet so Mommy could sleep) and when I staggered into the kitchen at 10, I still didn't feel completely awake. Drew left for a weekend shift in Seattle at 11:30, so I had just enough time to shower before he took off.

Rachel helped me make a pie crust for a chocolate silk pie I was making for my friend, Anne, who came over to dinner tonight. Anne's husband died in August 2010 and I like to invite her over every few weeks so she knows her friends won't forget her. I had wanted to make a beef tenderloin from a NY Times recipe, but when I got to New Seasons I was appalled at the price ($46 for 2 pounds!! Are you KIDDING ME?!?!?) and I settled for a rack of lamb instead.

So, after Rachel poured in all the ingredients for the pie crust, I let her pulse the food processor for a while -- she got a total kick out of it. Then all of a sudden I was exhausted, and I need sleep RIGHT NOW, so I grabbed one of Rachel's bigger blankets and lay down on the loveseat in the living room. She joined me after saying, "I'm VERY TIRED," and we both curled up and fell asleep in each others' arms, just like two little kitties. When I woke up it was 3:45 and I still had to roll out the crust, chill it, bake it, prepare the lamb, wrap Anne's Christmas gift (some soaps), set the table, etc. Luckily Rachel was happy to color in the kitchen while I got everything prepared. And -- surely a Hanukkah miracle! -- dinner was served at 7 p.m.: lamb (perfect ruby red), latkes (still hot), baked cherry tomatoes (part of the lamb dish) and chocolate silk pie with fresh whipped cream. Rachel liked the lamb (I called it "lamb steak") and Anne took a second helping of chocolate pie. There's enough left for Drew to sample it when he returns tomorrow afternoon.

After dinner Rachel got extremely whiny for my attention; at one point she kept yelling, "Mommy! Mommy!" and I went over to her, leaned into her face and said, "STOP IT. Just STOP IT." So she was sobbing loudly when Anne left. I'm sure Anne, who has no children, was extremely glad to be childless at that particular moment.

Then I hurried Rachel to wash, brush and get into her jammies, all the while being short and uncommunicative. She kept crying until she got into her jammies and climbed into my lap in the glider.

"Why are you crying, sweetie?" I asked.
"Because I wanted to cuddle with you more" (in the kitchen before Anne left).
"Why is it so important for you to cuddle with me?" I asked.
"Because it keeps me warm," she sniffled. "And it reminds me that I love you."

Well, what could I say? We read a book, and I lay down next to her in bed -- only to have her start whining that her foot was outside her blanket. "Well, just tuck it back in," I said, crossly, and then asked her if she wanted me to stay.

"Yes or no?" I asked.
She made a noise that I couldn't understand; it sounded like a teenage grunt.
"Yes or no?" I demanded.
Same noise.

"OK, I'm leaving," I announced, swinging my still-sore knee over her bed and leaving. She started crying, loudly, but I ignored it and soon she was asleep.

Chavurah Christmas Eve

We belong to a chavurah (a smaller group within the synagogue) that meets once a month at someone's house. The members are similar to Drew and me: They're around our age and have kids (although older, in grade school) and they're really nice folks to get together with. One of the members, Mark Carver, had the brilliant idea of hosting a Chinese dinner/5th night of Hanukkah celebration, with a gift exchange. The catch: None of the gifts could cost more than $1 (which is how Rachel and I discovered the treasure trove that is the Dollar Tree store).

So, after I got home from the clinic today we piled into the car and drove to Mark's house on the edge of Lake Oswego. Rachel, as usual, dove right in to the activities; she doesn't seem to care that everyone is older because she thinks she's a lot older than she is and the other kids are friendly. She got compliments from one of the adults on the outfit she picked out all by herself -- pink striped leggings, a pink shirt with cupcakes at the bottom and a blue denim skirt with while eyelet trim. This is why Drew thinks she'll end up at NYU -- she has a pronounced artsy side.

I was feeling pretty mellow because of the pain meds and the adults got to spend long stretches of the evening talking about politics, birth experiences, Portland public schools, mortgage rates. (At one point, Anna, one of the adults, turned to me and said, "Can you BELIEVE we are talking about mortgages??" to which I replied, "Yeah, we are SO BORING. We all used to lead really interesting lives."). The Chinese food was pretty good, Rachel even ate some Chinese noodles and chicken, and we had lots of desserts to choose from -- including chocolate cake from Costco, homemade sugar cookies and fruit. Afterward we posed for a photo for one of the families who was in Arizona and couldn't make it, then the kids chose gifts and opened them.

And then, at Mark's insistence, we all caravaned over to a street near his house with the most awesome Christmas lights imaginable. It was like all of Peacock Lane compressed into one house. Ligths, lights lights everywhere, a snowman, a train, reindeer. Rachel, of course, was delighted. We closed the evening singing "Silent Night." The folks who slowed down their cars to take a look were no doubt Jewish, commenting on the crazy Christian carolers on Christmas EVE, for godsakes...

Peace, everyone.

Owies, owies everywhere

Hi folks, your faithful poster on All Things Rachel took a break yesterday because of a nasty bike accident I got into late in the afternoon. In its zeal to add streetcar tracks everywhere, the city of Portland seems to forget that a light rail lane in the absence of a bike lane is NOT a safe location for bikers. To wit: I was biking down Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. on a quick, 45-minute afternoon ride yesterday when I suddenly found myself in a regular car lane. To get out of the way of the car behind me, I veered off to the right, got my front wheel entangled in a streetcar track, and fell, hard, on my right side (bike fell on top of me. Yes, I was wearnig a helmet but my head hit the pavement and I felt the reverberations anyway). I dragged myself to the sidewalk in front of a furniture store, rested for about 10 minutes and debated whether to call Drew or not - he was finishing up his workday before we all headed to the synagogue's Hanukkah celebration -- then decided to let him know. As soon as he got on the phone, I started sobbing. I believe I was in shock.

Bottom line: Drew came to get me (my bike's gears are useless; need to go to the bike store to figure out what's up) and he went to synagogue with Rachel while I stayed home and parked myself in front of the TV, icing my hand for about three hours.

Drew called me every hour from synagogue just to make sure I hadn't lapsed into a coma, or something. Turns out they ran out of latkes and the brisket was inedible -- next year we will go only to the service and the music & sufganyiot afterward. Everyone was concerned about me, and Rachel told Drew she wanted to give me a big hug and kiss when she got home. She impressed the heck out of the rabbi when he taught her the word sufganyiot and she responded by singing the Hanukkah song. "In Yiddish, yet!" he said in wonder. She really will be the top student in her Hebrew school class someday...

This morning I was extremely stiff and sore and could barely move my neck, so I took Drew's advice for a change and went to urgent care while he and Rachel did the grocery shopping. No broken bones or sprains, just bad internal bruising. The doc gave me Vicodin and Flexeril, and I am so grateful (although I've been nauseous for the past day or so). I've been taking Vicodin every two hours, and it does seem to dull the pain and is making me sleepy.

One nice thing about all of this is that the doc who was on call today was...Ellen Singer, my primary care physician! (readers may remember that she dropped by for Rachel's baby-naming ceremony). She asked all about Rachel, and as long as I was there, she gave me a Pap smear, checked my ears for excessive earwax, took a bunch of X-rays of my bruises, and we caught up on all the family news. As I left, I told her that the nicest thing about all of this drama was being able to see her after a long absence. And yes, she's Jewish -- of COURSE she was on call on Christmas Eve!

Rachel's movie date

Today was special day at preschool: The kids watched Christmas-themed movies (including Polar Express, which apparently has enough of a moral theme that the kids spent the past couple of days talking about the lessons it imparts; I've never seen the movie) and were told to come IN THEIR JAMMIES. Late in the day one of the preschool teachers posted a photo of Rachel watching "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas" with a little boy who, she later told me, was Andrew. One of the teachers had put Rachel's hair in little pigtails, and Rachel -- my 3 1/3 year old girl, who claims she doesn't like boys -- was HOLDING ANDREW'S HAND WHILE THEY WATCHED THE MOVIE.

The photo was from the back and they looked so adorable (and alarmingly grown-up), I could barely stand it.

***

Speaking of looking grown-up...Rachel has been complaining nearly every morning that she's cold, and she wraps a baby blanket around herself and insists Drew feed her cereal. So tonight after school they stopped at Fred Meyer and bought the most adorable kid-sized bathrobe imaginable. (I was swimming at the local community center since Willamette's pool is closed until mid-January. LOVE to be able to swim in such a warm pool near home!!). When I got home, Rachel greeted me in her new bathrobe, which is covered in pink, purple, green and blue hearts. It's so cool-looking that I immediately asked Rachel, "Can I borrow your bathrobe, please?"

"You can try it on tomorrow," she said reassuringly. I laughed and told her I was just kidding, but I really do need a bathrobe and it would be way cool to have the same one in an adult size...

***

As Drew was putting Rachel to bed tonight, he sang her an impromptu new version of "The Dreidel Song":

Rachel, Rachel, Rachel
I made her out of clay
and though she's very silly
I love her anyway!

And quick as a flash, she sang her own version back to him:

Daddy, Daddy, Daddy
He's a very silly guy
I tell him that I love him
and then I say goodbye

Perhaps there's a future songwriter in the house??

Hanukkah celebration

Tonight I stayed late at work; the higher-ups were drinking wine and invited me to join them, and I was racing to finish as much as possible before vacation starts (Friday, technically, although the dean graciously urged me to work from home tomorrow because as a fellow commuter he knows how much time two hours tears out of my life every day). Anyway....I met Drew and Rachel at the Mittleman Jewish Community Center for a Hanukkah celebration they were having. The "J," as it is affectionately known, is in Southwest Portland, where Portland's Jewish community got its start. Several of my friends from the suburbs do activities there because it's easily accessible from the city and from the 'burbs. (I also went to a lovely dinner there last week sponsored by the Oregon Area Jewish Committee, where I am a board member).

Drew said I missed the worst part of the evening -- a woman who couldn't sing was attempting to lead a sing-along of Hanukkah songs nobody knew. Ugh. But by the time I arrived, Drew was trying to make Rachel eat some of the quesadillas he'd ordered for her. Luckily they were serving latkes which weren't half-bad (although Drew insisted mine were much better) and I ordered a salmon burger (dreadful) and Drew had hummus and falafel (decent, he said).

A band played klezmer music while Rachel colored out of a Hanukkah coloring book. She insisted on wearing a beautiful lacy dress that Anne gave her -- it's the dress in Rachel's preschool photo -- and she looked so beautiful half-sitting, half-lying on the floor, the skirt of the dress spread all around her, as she drew and Drew and I tried to talk over the music. I suddenly got a flash of -- Belgium? Poland? Did Mom do that when she was little, before her parents were lost to her?

Later, as the band played hora music, Rachel and I joined a hora line that danced around the room, Rachel laughing and enjoying the music. I love klezmer music, it speaks to me of family history and a connection to the past -- a connection I'm trying to pass on to Rachel, hoping she'll associate laughter and dancing and good food and rituals with beauty and peace so she will always know she can return to a place of comfort.

She threw a little fit when Drew told her she couldn't go into the pool at the J, so he scooped her up and we left. Too bad -- I had wanted to talk more to Max, a former colleague at the Oregonian who was part of the klezmer band, playing the flute. I had no idea she had that kind of talent.

On the way home Rachel sniffled and asked Drew if he still loved her. (He got very cranky at her little tantrum and her reluctance to eat a good dinner. Can't blame him).

"Of course, sweetie," he answered. "Mad is just temporary. Love is forever."

"Like friends!" she said, brightening. "And chairs!"

***

Tonight she pulled out the book of fairy tales and insisted on "reading" Cinderella to Drew. It is so wonderful to hear her little voice "read" a story, uninterrupted. When I came in her hair was damp from the bath and she was wearing pajamas covered with blue trucks.

"Even though I'm a girl, I can wear truck jammies," she announced. Then she followed it with, "Only girls can wear headbands."