song requests

Rachel charmed the rabbi on Friday when she said in her baby-like voice, "Shabbat Shalom!" and he was so gratified when I said she asks for "Shabbat songs" on days of the week that are not Shabbat. I told him I don't know if it's proper to sing those songs on other days of the week but he reassured me that of cours it's OK!

So today during naptime, she had me sing Shabbat songs, which I have defined as "Shabbat Shalom" (and it involves clapping, which she loves to do); Hee-nay-ma-tov-oo-ma-nay-yim (I've spelled this out phonetically) and Lo yisa goy (Hebrew and English versions).

Then for a follow-up she says, "Fly away!"

So I ask you, is there any other Jewish kid who likes to follow up Shabbat songs with Christian gospel?

Rachel talk

..is sounding more and more conversational. A sampling today from the back seat of the car as we were driving home:

--"someday I be with Tony." (Tony is our friend Amy's 7-year-old who was so gentle and sweet with her when we had a sleepover at Amy's place last weekend. He picked her up and she was his forever).

--"look at all the people!" (as we were passing Portland's Saturday Market).

--"that hurts my ears, birds!" (after the birds near our restaurant table started caw-cawing really loudly).

She really is only 2. Honest.

why I love weekends

..because I get to sleep late, and so does Rachel. Today she didn't wake up until 10 a.m.! I got to pack the diaper bag for our playdate, warm up a scone, prepare berries, eat scone and berries and read a bit of the NY Times.

..since Rachel sleeps late, she is refreshed and perky when she wakes up and so much easier to handle.

..and if the weather isn't too hot, she's cheerful and ready to play.

..I usually don't have to rush off somewhere to make sure we're at a certain location at a certain time. I never schedule playdates before 10:30. and so I push her nap later and later in the day and she seems fine with the adjustment.

So...Rachel likes to sleep, she hates hot weather and can't stand being rushed. Just like Drew. She's daddy's girl, all right!

Lonely daddy

Apparently Drew is not using his time away from us to enjoy a second bachelorhood. He told me today he misses Rachel so much that to get his "toddler fix," he stops every kid on the street who looks to be around Rachel's age and engages them in conversation. Which means that a lot of New York mommies end up conversing with a nice, harmless-looking guy from Oregon who can talk toddler with the best of 'em.

Taking a child to college

It's that season again, when Baby Boomer newspaper and magazine columnists with college-age children write stories about the agony/relief of dropping their kids off at college for the first time. I've been reading several of them and sending them to Drew, who hasn't responded. Perhaps that's because he figures we'll have enough trouble getting Rachel through adolescence without worrying about how sad we'll be when she's gone for good.

The stories must have affected me more than I thought. I put Rachel to bed tonight after a fabulous Shabbat on the Plaza (the last one for the season; the weather was perfect, there weren't a lot of people there and Rachel was absolutely the most well-behaved fun companion so I actually got something from the service this time), and I was helping her get into her pajama bottoms. She always wants to do it herself but invariably puts a foot in the wrong leg, or tries to put two feet in the same leg, or misses the leg entirely...you get the idea.

Anyway, as I helped her into her pajamas (pajamees, she calls them), all of a sudden I realized that there will come a time when she won't need my help getting dressed anymore, that what she'll need help with are things I won't be able to provide any assistance or insight with. And I started weeping and told her that someday she won't need Mommy's help and that she'll go away to college, and that I have always thought of what that day would feel like and, please, Rachel, don't grow up too fast. Promise me.

"No go 'way!" she protested.

I realized she probably thought I was telling her I would go away, and I quickly corrected that: "No, Rachel, YOU'LL go away to COLLEGE." And then I collected myself and stopped weeping because, really, we have 16 more years to get upset about this. Why start now?

Conversational asides

Sometimes I'll hear Rachel murmuring in the backseat or at the dinner table and it sounds like she's reviewing what happened at daycare. Or copying what her teacher said.

A sampling:

"I want some of that."

"Don't kick Rachel."

"Don't push your friends. That's not OK."

I miss Daddy

Perhaps Rachel senses that Drew is coming home for a visit next weekend. She is suddenly starting to talk about him a lot more. As in, "I love Daddy."

This morning I took Drew's car to work, just to give it a workout (it hasn't been driven in four weeks, since he left).

As we pulled up to daycare I said, "I've missed Daddy car. Have you missed Daddy car, Rachey?"

"I miss Daddy," she said simply.

Later tonight, a couple of temper tantrums later, I asked her if she loved Mommy.

"Do you love Mommy?" I asked.

"I love Daddy," she answered.

"Who do you love better, Mommy or Daddy?" I asked. DUMB!

"Daddy better," she answered, without even thinking.

bad word, mommy

..That's what Rachel said this morning after I said the word "fart" after she passed gas.

She looked at me quite seriously and said, "that's bad word, Mommy."

To my credit I said immediately, "you are absolutely right, Rachel. It's a bad word and Mommy shouldn't have said it. Please forgive me."

Exhausting but fun weekend

Lots of social activity. Here's what we did:

--Saturday: Let Rachel sleep late (as did I, although I can't seem to sleep past 8 even if I force myself to. This is a worrisome trend; I hope it changes when winter comes and/or Drew returns), so we missed the Multnomah Days parade, a cool event in Multnomah Village in Southwest Portland. We did, however, make it down there to browse among the food stands while visiting our friend Amy and her two sons Jake and Tony. Rachel actually ate some chicken and tortilla, which I considered a victory.

--Saturday afternoon: Left the parade and went back to Amy's house, where the boys immediately took Rachel upstairs to show her their toys. Tony, who is at Maplewood Elementary, was wonderfully gentle with Rachel; he carried her down the stairs when she was afraid to go down and patiently played "chase" with her on Sunday morning when she started running up and down the living-room hallway.

--Saturday night: Rachel can finally get to sleep in a Pack-n-Play! We set it up in the guest room of Amy's house; Rachel fussed a little when I put her down for bed and cried for about a minute or so. Then she was out. I crawled into the bed next to her at 1 a.m. -- Amy and I had a lot of catching up to do -- and found out that Rachel is quite a restless sleeper. At 4 a.m. or so she started talking in her sleep, but then we both slept in until 7:30 or so! I woke up to hear her say cheerfully, "Good day!" and play quietly with her rubber duckies. Then she stood up in the Pack-n-Play; I opened my eyes and said, "Would you like to cuddle in bed, sweetie?" She said yes and it was so fun to cuddle and fall back asleep for a half-hour or so.

--Sunday morning: Said goodbye to Amy, Jake and Tony -- "I like Tony!" Rachel exclaimed as we left -- then grocery shopping, then on to our friend Jeanette's house. Jeanette lives in a large aerie in Northwest Portland with her 10-year-old daughter Berrit. She immediately took a shine to Rachel and they sat at the dining room table playing with stickers and coloring with washable magic markers. I made some pasta with basil and cherry tomatoes which unfortunately we didn't get to enjoy much because the neighbor kids came over and Jeanette had to take an important call.

So then we went home and Rachel took a late nap while I unpacked everything. I desperately wanted to nap, too, but I didn't have the time. For dinner, all I had the energy to do was re-heat some chicken. Then I gave Rachel a bath, cleaned up the kitchen, cut up berries for breakfast this morning and collapsed in front of "Mad Men" -- my one guilty pleasure of the week.

Dinner with Nikole, Faraji and Nadja

I was supposed to bring Nikole and Faraji a dinner when their daughter Nadja was born in April. But the weekend I was supposed to deliver it was the weekend before I was fired so....THAT didn't happen.

We made up for that tonight when Rachel and I met them for dinner after work. Right as I was getting onto the highway to see them, Drew called. Rachel indicated she wanted to talk on the phone, so I just handed it to her, not caring if she was traumatzied when I took the phone back. And she was great! She was chattering away about daycare, and pointing out things she saw on the way, and then she unexpectedly shrieked with laughter. Turns out that was when Drew was blowing her kisses into the phone! Then, matter-of-factly, she handed the phone to me and said, "here you go, Mommy." I was flabbergasted; maybe it's OK for her to talk to Drew after all?

Anyway, Rachel took a real shine to Faraji. When we walked to a pizza place near their house, she reached up to him, he picked her up and CARRIED her eight blocks or so without her fussing at all. She was very patient as we waited for our pizza (probably because she had filled up on peanuts after daycare), and even ate a little bit of the tomato sauce before demanding crusts only. So, I gave my daughter a dinner of pizza crusts. I'm a bad mommy.

Then on the way back she held my hand and Faraji's. And when we returned to the house and Nikole began nursing Nadja, Faraji offered to read Rachel a Dr. Seuss book. With only the tiniest bit of hesitation, Rachel climbed onto Faraji's lap and sat very contentedly while he read to her. At the end of the night she tilted her head toward him for a kiss!

I thought Drew would be very jealous but instead he was gratified to hear she is getting more and more comfortable and affectionate with people other than Mommy and Daddy!

Wonderful weekend with Angela

Forgot to write about this past weekend, my second as a single mom and the first without family around.

On Saturday morning we went grocery shopping, an exhausting process because to save money we have to go to several low-priced places to find what we need. And just FORGET about the farmer's market -- too much of a hassle.

Overall, it wasn't as bad as I feared. We got home just in time for nap, and I got a chance to unload groceries and re-organize the refrigerator. Now Drew will have to organize it HIS way when he's back for Labor Day weekend. Tee-hee!

Then we went to the second block party of the summer, three blocks away. We arrived around 5, which turned out to be way too early, but Rachel definitely kept herself amused. Dogs roamed everywhere, a couple sniffing at her legs and she screamed in terror. I finally sat her down and explained that this was THEIR neighborhood and she had to respect that. She tried really hard but it was a struggle.

Toward the end of the evening, though, she had a great time. She grazed, food-wise, and when the fire truck came she was thrilled! She got a red plastic helmet and got to sit up front for a long, long time -- way after the other kids had left. She also got a popsicle.

We left after folks started lighting sparklers and setting off fireworks. Rachel did NOT like that AT ALL.

The next day we met up with our friend Angela and drove to a gorgeous swimming hole at a state park in Washougal, WA. It's right on the Washougal River. At first I was skeptical -- the path down there was really steep and Rachel was frightened after she slipped a little in her crocs. And when we got down to the bottom, all we saw were rocks and sun -- no place to set up a picnic blanket in a shady spot. We finally found a muddy spit of land under a tree.

And the folks there were all drinking beer and smoking and a fair number had tattoos.

But you know what? We had fun anyway. Rachel refused to go into the water (icy cold on contact but very refreshing once I swam around a bit) and spent time on shore in my lap (or Angela's or her friend Taylor's) tossing rocks into the swimming hole. We left just after the mid-afternoon crush started arriving and setting up propane-powered grills, ugh.

Rachel insisted she got wet "all over" like Mommy did, but that's not true so please don't believe her if she tries to tell you that.

THEN we delivered a late birthday gift to the daughter of a friend of ours and ended up staying for dinner. Meaning, I ate the delicious baked salmon, tomato and cucumber salad and rice, and Rachel refused all food. She's no fool - she was holding out for the food SHE wanted at home. And, yes, she got it.

Whew! I'm exhausted just writing this. We have another busy weekend ahead but I'm looking forward to it -- it helps remind me that Rachel and I are not alone.

um, I didn't think we'd have to deal with this for a while

I'll get right to the point, folks: Rachel has a boyfriend.

His name is Declan.

No, I've never met him. No, I have no idea if he's from good people. I don't even know who his mommy is!

Her take-home report the other day said Rachel enjoys spending time with Declan, one of the Toddler 2s. "Lots of talking and laughing," the report said.

Hmm.

What did you do today at school? I asked Rachel when I picked her up tonight.

"Declan gave hug," she said.

"Declan gave you a HUG?" I asked.

"Declan boyfriend," she said. (To be fair, I had asked her 15 minutes earlier if Declan was her boyfriend. She said yes).

One of the Toddler 2 teachers said the other day that when Rachel and Declan sat in her lap, Rachel leaned onto Declan's back as if to say, "ooh, I love you."

Her world is rapidly expanding. This boyfriend stuff...should I be worried??

Shabbat on the plaza

I had a fantastic day at work today -- topped off by an invitation to drink wine in the Dean's office with a bunch of colleagues; I really think I'm going to like it at Willamette -- so it was a great time to celebrate Shabbat outdoors. Even though I left Salem relatively late (4:45) I made it to daycare 15 minutes early. Yay!

As we neared the synagogue, I got frustrated because I couldn't find parking.

"Rachel, do you think I'll find parking?" I asked.

"Yes," she replied confidently.

And what do you know -- about 2 minutes later I was easing myself into a free, on-street parking space! No doubt because I am a parking goddess, which means I can find parking anywhere. It's a matrilneal trait among Lednicer women. And it increases in intensity when several of us are together. When Mom and I are in the car, we can find a space in front of Lincoln Center on a Friday night. It's very impressive.

Shabbat was nice but I didn't tune in to much of the service because I was too busy feeding Rachel, shushing Rachel, or sweeping her up and carrying her someplace away from the crowd when she got too fussy. I will be very glad when Drew returns so next year I can get more out of these services.

Bad words

So, we were driving home from Paige and Ryan's and I was suffused with a glow of neighborliness, the feeling that really good friends are looking out for us and taking care of us while Drew is gone, when all of a sudden I heard from the back seat:

"Dammit."

"Rachel," I said sternly. "That's a bad word. You really shouldn't use it. Mommy shouldn't, either."

She was quiet for half a minute and then said, "fart."

I had to suppress my laughter and tell her that was a bad word, too.

Dinner with Ryan, Paige and Parker

On Wednesday (yes, folks, I'm just catching up -- ever wonder what it's like to be a single mom responsible for not only feeding, amusing, dressing, cleaning and putting to bed a 2-year-old and paying the bills and keeping the house running? If these two weeks are any guide, I will be dead of exhaustion by the time Drew's fellowship ends -- but I digress).

ANYWAY.

On Wednesday, we were invited to our friends Paige and Ryan's home in North Portland. They have a 2 1/2 year old son, Parker, who is a very nice kid but didn't say a word the whole time we were there. However, I did note that he ate everything Paige and Ryan gave him, which in our case was cold noodles and pork dressed with green beans, carrots, cucumbers and turnips with a vinaigrette. Really, I'm not doing the meal justice -- it was fantastic.

Rachel picked at the pork (which I, in a brilliant flash of insight, called chicken), tried a carrot and made a face, and proceeded to eat one jar of pureed carrots. This is why she's an air fern, folks. Where she gets the energy to tumble about the way she does, I have no idea. When I looked over to the miniature table and chairs that Paige and Ryan had set up in the kitchen for the kids, she and Parker were playing peek-a-boo. That is, Parker ducked his head under the table and Rachel followed suit, then he popped his head up and Rachel did, too. They were smiling and giggling; it was so cute!

Poor girl was terrified by the dog, Murphy, so they locked him up in a room. Otherwise, we all ended up having a fractured conversation while Rachel and Parker went out onto the porch to play with toys -- mostly kid-sized cars they rode up and down. At the end fo the evening, Rachel reached out to Ryan to hug him, and then she gave him a kiss on the lips.

And then the cutest thing happened: Paige urged Parker to kiss Rachel goodbye -- which he did! On the lips! And then he wrapped his long arms around her and gave her a hug!

As we were walking down the stairs to our car, Rachel said, "I like Parker!"

Maybe in oh, 12 years, they'll be dating??

ahm....

Rachel has picked up the conversational interlude "um" which, in her voice, comes out as "ahhm..."

A sampling:

Me: Rachel, what do you think I should wear to work tomorrow?

Rachel: Ahhm...jeans.

I cracked up.

Another conversation:

Me: Rachel, are you a baby?

Rachel: Nah...

Me: Are you a toddle?

Rachel (beginning to get annoyed): Naahhh.

Rachel (thinking about it for about one second): Person!

Wonderful weekend with Amanda & Jenn!

Rachel's aunts, Amanda and Jenn, came to visit this weekend and we had such a great time, we all agreed that all-girls weekends are much better when Drew isn't around.

KIDDING!

Really, we had a blast. Rachel stole Jenn's heart when she raced over to her and threw her arms around her legs. When Jenn carried her around at the park, Rachel put her head on her shoulder and I could tell Jenn was very moved.

Rachel spent time on the teeter-totter with both and looked perfectly content. Then they helped her walk on the "balance beam " -- really a narrow metal ledge -- at the play structure at Laurelhurst Park.

She went down pretty easily for a nap, and Amanda and Jenn and I had cheese and crackers while I baked cookies for a memorial service on Sunday for my friend's husband.

After Amanda and Jenn left on Sunday, Rachel and I visited the local farmer's market -- much more manageable and less crowded than the main market at Portland State -- and she was content to hold my hand and taste samples of peaches and strawberries. "Hold mommy's hand," she says more often; I wonder if she notices Drew's absence?

Then we went to the memorial service at a local coffee shop. Rachel was fantastic -- she played in the corner with a bunch of toys they had, then when she started getting restless I fed her two chocolate hazelnut cookies I had baked -- and she loved them! That bought me enough time to have hurried conversations with some folks from the Oregonian before we left for naptime. Rachel directed me; she said, "go home, take nap," and that's when I knew it was time to leave!

Then we went grocery shopping and I actually had time to make us a nice meal for dinner Sunday -- part of which she ate! She liked the brown rice and pan-fried chicken. I was stunned.

So far, single mom-hood is going well.

Long-term care insurance

This is one of the benefits that Willamette University provides. But based on Rachel's behavior tonight I wonder if I'll need it.

In the park, after I wiped her face and hands clean when she demolished a bag of trail mix, she took the wipe and announced she wanted to clean Mommy's shoes. She wiped my legs and my sandals.

Then, at home, she insisted on taking my sandals off and putting them in her drawer. Then she put on my slippers and tried to get me to wear her crocs, which I couldn't fit into. She can now walk around in my slippers.

If she sees me yawn or wipe my face, she'll say, "Mommy tired?"

It looks like I will be taken care of in old age, after all.

I'm not the only one in this household with a job

Rachel announced after school today that SHE is employed as well. When I asked her if I should wear jeans to work on Friday (everyone is dressing casually at the university because it's the summer), she said yes.

Then she added, "I got a job, too!"

"Really, Rachel?" I laughed. "What's your job?"

She was silent. But I wouldn't have been surprised if she had answered, "playing!"

She has taken to doing something cute after I tuck her in her crib at night. Tonight she said, "airplane go home." (she saw and heard an airplane while we were having dinner).

Then she said, "sun go home" since it is slowly getting darker at night when I put her to sleep.

an unexpected treat

Drew was all set to leave this morning, but one thing led to another, and when he found himself still packing the rented SUV at 4 p.m., he threw in the towel, called me at work and said he would stay another night and leave TUESDAY instead!!

So, we're going to sit down in a half hour and talk about how my first day at work went. It went fine, which is to say that academia is a LOT different from the hard-ass, take-no-prisoners atmosphere of a newsroom. Lots of kindness, although things will definitely pick up when the semester begins I'm sure.

Rachel's life in daycare/school

Here's what her report said on Friday:

Rache had a happy day today! Lots of smiles, great listener and loved walking backward telling her friends, "Follow me..Follow me..."

Too bad she'll only be there another month. She starts at a YMCA program in Salem in September. It seems nice -- all the Willamette University professors' kids go there, as did the son of our former governor, John Kitzhaber -- plus it will enable me to squeeze in a workout at lunchtime without worrying that I won't be putting in enough hours. Plus, no more dashing out the door at 5 p.m. like I'll have to do this whole month to get to St. James by 6 p.m.

new car seat!

We finally picked up Rachel's NEW CAR SEAT today! This is the seat that will last her until she's 8 years old and no longer needs a seat. It converts to a booster, which is why we'll be able to keep it so much longer.

It felt like a milestone, so I told Rachel to say, "bye-bye baby car seat!" several times. On the way home she chattered away to herself and a couple of times broke into what I call the "chicken song." It's composed of Rachel tunelessly humming, "backa ba, backa ba, backa backa backa backa backa ba...." which sounds to me like a chicken!

She now has a repertoire of songs she loves Mommy to sing. On the way to the car seat place she requested, "sunshine," and "fly away." And at naptime she wanted "yellow submarine" but that is a daddy song. Clearly I need to figure out the songs Drew sings and learn the words. On the other hand, it may be better if only he can sing them, since that gives her something to look forward to when he comes home to visit.

By the way, we're holding onto to the old car seat just in case...:)